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August 29, 2006

WORD¹

(Thanks to DavCat)

¹Assuming that means something like "You got that right" or "Dig it" in this century.

Comments

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Of course women are less corrupt. We don't go around starting wars, either.

No offense but the Russians never met my ex girlfriend.

none taken, addicted ;)

Daughter: Mom, can I go to the mall, get several piercings, and stay out until 2:00AM?
Mom: No. Absolutely not!

Daughter: Dad, can I go to the mall, get several piercings, and stay out until 2:00AM? I'll wash your car for you.
Dad: Sure, Princess, whatever you want. Here's $50.

We just don't take any bullsh!t...

we don't start wars eh?

mud searches mind for
stereotypical knocks
on women, bags it

this ground well worn, bare
humor grows now in dry cracks
scorched by hot winds, words

women don't start wars
last time i checked they still can't
start a lawn mower

mud - starting a lawnmower, for women, falls (in my opinion) in the same category as a man who says "I just can't figure out this dishwasher." The incentive to get it right just isn't there!

?-inducin' quote: ...

OK.

"Gifts", however ...

O the U--huh?

I can start a lawnmower...

don't you just hafta sit and turn the key thingy on and drive around?

*hairflip*

Female Russian Traffic Cop: Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?

Me: Um, was I driving too fast?

FRTC: Yes, sir. Now may I see your license and registration, please?

Me: [reaches under seat, opens door and places a pair of Jimmy Choos outside the car]

FRTC: Please watch your speed next time, sir. Have a nice day.

*quietly slinks off to the if no one saw it then it wasn't a bribe corner*

having lived in Russia for a while (admittedly in the early 90s, but still) I would say that the 35000 deaths per year are probably more attributable to the fact that you don't have to take any kind of test, driving or otherwise, to get a driver's license there....and that they have traffic rules like this one:
at a lighted intersection (non-lighted intersections are just a free-for-all), it is illegal to turn left on a green light (they drive on the right side). Instead, what you are legally supposed to do is drive through the intersection, then make a U-turn and turn right.

Hey, Betsi ... this "gifts" concept has gotten me into a few episodes of medium-grade trouble ... as in ... "Hey, Mr. Romantic! You send your wife flowers ... wanna talk to my husban? ... 27 years of marriage, and he's NEVER sent me flowers ..."

Wuz I gonna talk to a bunch of male-gender type persons about "whut's wrong with your attitude?"

Do I look STOOPID to you?

(Don't answer that. Please.)

Mud, that last one was hilarious. If you were here, I'd smack ya upside the head, but in a funny sorta way. (I'm a female of the opposite sex)

mud - lucky you are such a valuable member of this blog! That was pretty darn funny!

And we may not start wars, but we can end one with just a look!

Sure, they say it's because women are less corrupt, but I think it's because men want to administer the hiring test.

"Okay, so then fill out that little form there and become naked, so that I can verify that you are, um, qualified."

still think so, C-bol?

They say beauty is only skin deep, kitten.

Still, I think that gal should have asked for deeper skin.

so many dumb jokes on this...and so little time...so I will leave it at these

She will carry "Billie JEAN Club"

No one will refused being frisked

Will always be answered "how fast do you WANT me to go?"


maybe she should have just opted for less surgery - have we learned nothing from Wacko Jacko?

"we may not start wars, but we can end one with just a look!"

So true, so true.

Being a law enforcement professional of the policeman variety, I will volunteer to conduct the interview process for any blog beauty that wants to join the ranks.
I'm selfless that way.

kitten: NGL, AYCMM!!

blurk, too bad about those silly ol' "sexual harassment" laws

MKJ - huh?

=Not Gonna Look . . .

And You Can't Make Me!!!

end hostilities
and commence a'snugglin' please
i melt at your glance

turn stern curmudgeon
instantly to nursing child
mystical power

rapt in your arms, warm
your scent intoxicates me
don't ever leave, zzzzzzzzz.

oh. good idea.

kitten, what exactly are you implying? I was simply volunteering my expertise. I know what it takes to do find a good female cop.

Sorry, Mary.

most of the female cops I've met are not interested in "your type", blurkie...

You'd better put a NTTAWWT in there.

oh, sure...NTTAWWT...

i'm worried that i'll have to carry a whole lot of shoes with me to bribe russian coppettes...

is there something you girls can be bribed with that doesn't come in different sizes?

*is aware of the implications of that statement...well, some of them, anyway*

OK, so if all the guys are getting bribed, then just who is doing all the bribing? Huh? Huh? Yeah, that’s right.

What? They’re being bribed by other guys?

Oh…never mind.

insom, I'm not gonna touch that with a 6, 7, 8, 9, no, 10 ft. pole.
Or 5 ft. pole for some, apparently.

insom - cash works

There's really nothing wrong with the concept, when you think about it . . .

*siren*

"Do you know why I pulled you over, sir?"

"Um...to give me a safe driving award?"

"No. License and registration, please."

"Sure, officer. Say, I thought they were going to have only women as traffic cops."

"I am a woman."

"And so you are. Uh. Hmmm. So. Probably not a warning this time, huh?"

lets see how long that lasts.

*wonders if arrests will skyrocket one week out of every month*

sorry

insom...I agree with kitten.

$$$$ works too!

Russian Traffic Copette: Sir, I clocked you driving 110 hectares per hour in a 40 zone

Driver: Really? I'm sorry, officer. Say, you Russian traffic cops are awful pretty.

RTC: License and registration, please.

Driver: [Hands license and registration to RTC] Hmmm. Sorry, didn't mean to offend you with a sexist remark.

RTC: Never mind, sir. Where are you headed, sir?

Driver: To the International Conference on Middle East Relations

RTC: [Hands license and registration back] Thank you, Mr. Gibs0n. Drive carefully.

Kitten, or anyone who can tell me: Who is that woman that had too much plastic surgery? I live such a sheltered life. Sigh

Gwenn - see here. She was an ongoing subject for the NYC tabloids a couple of years back.

A blonde female police officer pulls over a blonde gal in a convertible sports car for speeding. She walks up to the car and asks the blonde for her driver's license. The blonde convertible driver searches through her purse in vain.
Finally she asks, "What does it look like?"
The blonde police officer tells her, "It's that thing with your picture on it." The blonde driver searches for a few more seconds, pulls out her compact, opens it, and sure enough sees herself.
She hands the compact to the blonde cop. After a few seconds looking at the compact, the blonde cop rolls her eyes, hands the compact back to the blonde convertible driver, and says, "If you would have told me you were a police officer when I first pulled you over, we could have avoided this whole thing."

*snork* stevie

LOL stevie..a classic Blonde vs Blonde joke...

Here we see a traffic stop in progress:

Speeder: What seems to be the problem, officer?

Woman Traffic cop: (tsks) As if you didn't know.

Speeder: No, really. What did I do?

Woman Traffic cop: If you don't know, I'm sure as heck not going to tell you.

Speeder: But...

Woman Traffic Cop: I can't BELIEVE you did that! (Breaks down crying)

Speeder: What? What did I do? Please tell me!

*snork* Greg

In other words..men should keep away from the roads once a month...

you forgot though:

Woman Traffic Cop: *runs to patrol car and stuffs chocolate in mouth* hmmuch mmbettermhh

[In other words..men should keep away from the roads once a month...]

That makes me wonder, siouxie, will they have sirens on their menstrual cycles?

LOL

actually...they don't need sirens, stevie...

the primal scream during PMS is enough to stop traffic, I assure you :)

Thanks Meanie. She looks awful. I would sue. She does look like a cat though. I guess that was the look she was going for.

this thread too sexist
pms bribes and copettes
locks and loads shotgun

to protect and serve
to lift and to separate
stop! this is a bust

Less corrupt? LESS CORRUPT?! HAH! They just cost less...

Speeder: What seems to be the problem, officer?

Woman Traffic cop: License-ski and registration-ski, please(-ski).

Speeder: Hmmm...how about some chocolate instead...?

Woman Traffic cop: Um...how you say...have a nice day-ski!

*runs and hides in a shelter from the storm now...now, not from Ernesto, but from the wrath that is about to roll in*

:)

tropic....and we're worth it! ;)

now go hunker down!!!

Better watch it tropic, El is "locked and loaded."

Female Miranda warnings:

-You do not have the right to get a word in edgewise.

-Everything you say will be misinterpreted, twisted, distorted and held against you forever.

-You do not have the right to wear earplugs or watch football during whining.

-If you wish to explain yourself but feel you will not be heard fairly, well, duh.

Keeping these rights in mind why don't you just admit it now and get it over with?

hmm...
towards the end of the month, traffic cops have to fill quotas so they write more tickets...
once a month, women have their cycle...
Should the two coincide, WATCH OUT!

stevie w: Yeah, you GO girl...er...guy!

stevie...I USED to like you..

now...not so much :P

'Member in the '70s when you would drive around and polish off a bunch of beers at the same time? Man, were we ever stoopid . . .

oh, stevie, I want to be amd but you know us so well!

insom, jewelry works, too!

Mud da Man!

Bloglits, I apologize for my miscue way up there ... somehow, the robot or typepad™ or somethin' ate my copy/paste of the "quote" ... and, since I wuz in a hurry 'cuz I wuz packin' up to get into the truck and drive four hours, so I could get back on the 'net ... I din't notice my error and/or omission until merely now ...

Feels even more stoopid/foolish than usual ... which ... all things considered ... is not unusual ...

Quote
Of course women are less corrupt. We don't go around starting wars, either.
Posted by: Suzy Q | 11:40 AM on August 29, 2006
Unquote
..
Haven't read much history have you. Two historical examples: does the term Bloody Mary ring any bells; or Livia, Queen of Augustus Caesar? How about people more contemporary, Maxine Waters or Marilyn Musgrave?
Corrupt? Maybe it's the degree of corruption or level of decay?
Perhaps we should discus Eva Peron, or, on a lesser scale (more at what you were thinking of) Martha Stewart.

Yeah, DD! Martha (Queen of the Cellblock) Stewart!

Let us consider, please ... corruption personified ... and yet, people still shop @ Kameapart ... go figure ...

(and them others you mentioned too ... how about ... um ... Lucretia Borgia? I'm vague on details, but it seems she might've been less than 100 percent "perky/nice" ...)

I could also cite Jane (Hanoi Jane) Fonda, but she's merely stoopid and egotistical ... does that qualify as "corrupt"?

Well, kitten, somethings are only learned the hard way.

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