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August 23, 2006

VIRGIN MARY UPDATE

She is everywhere.

(Thanks to many people, starting with CoastRaven)

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this lady again......

I always thought she'd be a vegetarian

God knows we love a greased up Virgin but....THIS is rediculous

I give it 5 minutes before it is on Ebay.

My granddaughter threw that up last week. I guess I flushed that mother.

atleast I didnt go the "dripping's" route on that joke...

Transfatsubstantiation?

Chaz - Allow me:

My schnauzer pooped the Tower of Babelon...does that count???

Hail Mary, full of grease...

snork at Dave!

snork big time at Dave

Bullseye, DavetheRed!

Well done, DavetheRed!!

i'm sorry, but this guy is nuts.

This blog is too fun.

Actually, I don't think it looks like the virgin at all. In fact, it looks a lot like a lady I met in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico who has NOT been a virgin for quite some time.

Snorks to GoatThumper and DavetheRed!

Strumpet update! Mary's next few stops on her world tour:

A plate of shrimp in Altoona
A caesar salad in Hoboken
A bowl of tripe soup at Stinky's Hunan House of Beef

She's not a girl who gristles much.

Leetie, will your head appear there as well?

Leetie - an let's not forget to applaud her spectacular engagement at Feinstein's dry cleaners last week!

for a virgin, she sure gets around.

Yes. My head is a Virgin Mary groupie. Sometimes it even gets backstage.

*snif*

I found that to be a deeply moving religious experience, restoring my faith...

Bless me Father, for I have singed...

Snorking at Betsi...

why thanks sthnbelle, it's been too long since I had a good snork.

From the looks of those ramparts, the lady appears to be nursing, which would preclude her being a virgin. Just sayin...

PS has anyone else read the Finn Family Moomintroll and other books in the series? There were two characters named "Snork" and the "Snork Maiden."
If the blog ever had a beauty pageant, those could be our crowning titles.

Mary's a virgin? Where'd the blogkids come from?

if pork fat rules....and that is Virgin Pork fat...will it be Kosher?

Oooh, ooh, I wanna be the Snork Maiden!!

(practicing my parade wave)

And don't forget Ishmael's House of Gyro.

Hanna, you don't have to have sex or give birth to lactate. Of course it does help, but you can lactate through n!pple stimulation alone.

really Leetie? That would be a fun party trick...I mean...

Isn't "maiden" another word for virgin? Most of us would not qualify... But to be in a parade, we could fudge a bit.

*qualifies*

hehehe...Leetie said "nipple stimulation".

I gotta check my barbeque pan for possible deities.

Now to grill I sit me down
I pray the Lord my bun to brown
If I should poorly shape the patty
I pray the Lord, please not too fatty.

I agree. Don't know if it's possible or not, but it would be fun to research.

blurk, best stop tweakin' yer own nips. See what Leetie wrote?

Hanna - my niece told me once that if you go a certain period with you know, you can be considered a re-born virgin. I'm not sure what the time period was. Shall we say 24 hours?

That was on an episode of CSI.

a quintuplet! wowwwsa

JoG--what was?

kitten, wouldn't that be "without"?

uh, yes it would, Suzy Q. See, I can't even write it much less abstain from it

us men can "lactate" too kinda....if you stimulate our winkies, it will spit in your eye!

a Lactating Teen, she thought she was pregnant with her dads kid. A very odd episode.

probably why they stopped throwing virgins in volcanoes... or did girls get wise and stop being virgins to avoid being sacrificed???

blurk plays with his own nips?

This is a little off topic, but I don't see how the Muslims think that a bunch of virgins would be a reward.

*is jealous of kitten*

oh yeah! I did see that episode. I think. My roommate was obsessed with CSI...three nights a week, plus Numb3rs, Criminal Minds and NCIS.

oh.my.gosh (in reverence to the V mary), chaz!!!! I just spit Dr. Pepper all over my screen (luckily it missed my eye)

Me, too, Suzy.

Somebody better ship Mary another box or two of Sharpies™.

JoG - I read another story just like that...where was it? Hmmmm...oh yeah! The Bible!

there was a blog item about a man lactating to feed his baby. My question, if they take hormones to lactate, do they lose it at the other end?

Just three nights, it is on Seven to nine on Spike five days a week, monday and friday three times. not to mention the cbs first run, our local independant has it twice on sunday, Plus we own the dvd's.

But I must digress. We just picked up season two of House MD. I like Criminal minds too, but I cannot watch it without quoting the princess bride halfway through.

Ya think Mary is as high a kite from marker fumes???

huh...the only image I got with a 1/4 pound of beef in my off brand GFG was a life-like ketsup spill of Whitney Houston and 'Sama doin' it?

You read the bible, Dont tell me the ending, Oh wait, the devil did it.

Yeah, I read it. I don't like the ending....

What I really want to know is whether the grease pan cried. If it didn't cry, then I won't pay more than a cool mil for it on Ebay.

I love Mandy Patinkin. He has such an incredible range -- I first saw him in "Yentl." Just bought one of his CD's.

I don't have cable, so CBS first run is where we're at...and DVD's sometimes.

Anxiously awaiting Arrested Development Season Three atm.

We used to have wood paneling with outlines of Jesus all over it. Should have had ebay back then.

SNORK...

There is an ending to the Bible? What about the four horses and the seven candles and all that? They had some pretty good grass on the Isle of Patmos.

I know why there are so many threads started now, if Dave just gave us one the comments list would be enormous.

And apologies to Almne for the song in the earlier thread.

how many of us foolishly have flushed our Virgin Mary's down the toilet or crumpled them up in a napkin?

and these people were the only ones who heeded her call...

oh, the humanity of it all...

Sorry, I last read the Bible in 81, a little bit before I lost faith in (Deleted) I suppose I could pull it off the shelf and try reading it again. Unless it turns to dust when I touch it.
Who knows.

Yeah, but I was hopin' it was ONLY nipple stimulation, not being by yourself.

Blurk, you done with those windows yet?

Enough with the leering already, and come on in!

I'm late,but....DtheRed....TOOOOOOOFUUUUNNNNY!!

Juggler, I HAD to take courses in both old and new testaments because of going to a Quaker university, and actually it was way more interesting than I expected. Partly because the men teaching the courses were honest clear thinkers who expected us to come to our OWN conclusions rather than what we supposed we had been taught. It was very enlightening, and toes were bruised sometimes by the open discussions, but I would do it again.

um, stnbelle, would you like the rest of the blog to leave for a few minutes?

I don't believe there are any commandments regarding nips.

What about all those ones hanging out in public to feed their offspring? Doesn't it get old? (From a female perspective...)

*drops Windex™ and runs inside*

YAY for nips of the female persuasion.

He just needs to do the other side of the glass, kitten!

Might want to tell him that. Looks like he's already nekkid

Nekked bloggers, and my lunch is over. Darn.

But...but...

*puts clothes back on*

Shoot! Give me the d@mn Windex™.

sthn - I think he's a keeper - he's still washing the windows even after being told there will be no nekkid fun

Re: Mandy Patinkin - loved him, LOVED him in Six Feet Under. (boo @ stupid short-sighted networks!!!)

ooh, i still haven't seen that.

Oh, it was a spectacular series, Betsi, and he was incredible in it.

Still outraged that the network cancelled it - the character development was really getting interesting, and the black humor of having as a part-time (unpaid, but mandatory) job the of collecting souls continued to entertain.

Once again, boo @ stupid networks. I think they cancelled it to make room on the schedule for yet another skanky dating show of some sort.

Earwig Alert: Stop and Smell the Roses

Hey bloggers!
Where you going in such a hurry?
Don't you think it's time you realized
There's more to life than blogging and worry
The sweetest things in life are greasy
And cooking up your fries...

You got to stop, and look for Mary
You've got to count your many virgins everyday
Not gonna find your favorite sinner in a rough and greasy joint
If you don't stop and look for Mary along the way.

Before you went to work this morning in the city
Did you spend some quality time a-with your kitty?
And before you turned and walked away,
did you take your children to your breast, and love them like MJ?

You got to stop, and look for Mary.
You've got to count your many virgins everyday
Not gonna find your favorite sinner in a rough and greasy joint
If you don't stop and look for Mary along the way.

Did you ever take a walk outside in August?
Stop and look for Mary among the trees?
Well you can look up through the leaves and see the smog line
You can almost hear the voice of God
With each and every wheeze..

You got to stop, and look for Mary.
You've got to count your many virgins everyday
Not gonna find your favorite sinner in a rough and greasy joint
If you don't stop and look for Mary along the way.

I'll have to put it in my queue. Silly networks indeed.

wow that's a pretty good one pirate

Wasn't the Mandy Patinkin show "Dead Like Me"?

See you all tomorrow, goin home, havin a beer, and relaxin.

Hey Blurk - I think that mole on your shoulder looks a lot like Moses....

Punkin, should I sell myself on ebay?

That's what I meant, PeaceEtc. Duh. Silly poster.

(Sorry, a bit distracted today - Mrs. Hands is being evaluated for a potential early delivery... so I've been scarce today, and may disappear completely for a time.)

And that's different from selling yourself on the blog how?

Probably get more on ebay. The blog knows all my faults.

"Ya think Mary is as high a kite from marker fumes???"

Well let's put it this way. You have just wiped out my entire back-to-school supply.

Awwww CH! Are wee little hands about to claw their way come into the world?

Pilate: "Yo Jesus, yo moma's so fat she looks like lard lyin' round a fryin pan or sumpin'."

Vice Emporer: "You might wanna lay off the yo moma jokes, sir."

I'll bet Britney Spears is wishing he had Mary's publicist right about now. At least the latter's been able to maintain she was a virgin for longer than five minutes.


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