THIS CAN'T BE GOOD

(Thanks to sthnbelle)

Comments

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Brrrrrr....I'd hate to be the first bear to notice my things were shrinking!

[sthnbelle]

Well, if you spent as much time as they do in the icy water.....

[MOTW]

kudos on getting posted, sthnbelle!

[sthnbelle]

Thanks, MOTW!

Every now and then I get lucky.

[Adora]

Thinking of the story from a couple of days ago...
maybe the female polar bears are just getting less promiscuous.

[AFKAT]

Heh...I sent that in too *sigh*

Burning question, given that the polar bear is probably the most fearsome predatory mammal on earth, just exactly WHO is volunteering to check the bears'... errr ... dangly bits, and exactly how are they accomplishing this?

[AFKAT]

hmmm...my first 3-some... *reaches for a smoke*

[Beth]

How does an arctic fox ende up being a "marine mammal"? I don't think they even like water.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

When this guy goes grey he could blend right in with them . . .

[kitten]

I would say shrinkage in those elements is understandable! And I, for one, am not going to laugh at them for shrinking danglies

[kitten]

Mahatma - what exactly is he selling?

[kitten]

oh, and Mahatma, in honor of our simul, can I kiss your belly?

[MOTW]

MKJ - may I welcome you back to this blog, Sir? You have been sorely missed 'round these parts.

[Eleanor]

Congrats, sthnbelle!

And I read a headline a couple of days ago that said polar bears are drowning - something to do with global warming. But the headline was so sad I couldn't read the article.

Now this! {{{polar bears}}}

[sharoncville]

Key quote: "...spoiling their love lives and causing their numbers to peter out."

Did they really have to use that particular phrase? I'm just sayin'.

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

kitten: yes.
Hi MO!

[kitten]

*puckering up* smooch!

[Mahatma Kane Jeeves]

kitten: as far as I can make out, he is a disk jockey or some sort of party organizer, I didn't try too hard to figger it out tho . . .

[mudstuffin]

"you know lately, hon, I've been thinkin'
I wish you'd stay and don't go drinkin'

it's been a long cold winter, I need some thawin'
got a hankerin' for your seal-breath and pawin'

the northern lights have never looked so bright
as when I see them shine in your eyes tonight

just let me freshen up and I'll be right back
and we'll make it so hot the ice-cap will crack"

but when she returned she found he had left
a tear filled her eye and a sob swelled her chest

where did he go? what had she done wrong?
didn't he love her? had she come on too strong?

she followed his tracks for while, but then stopped
what would she say to him, when she caught up?

a few miles away, her polar bear rests
gone for the last time, headlong into death

[MOTW]

wonderful as usual, mud!

El - if I remember correctly, it is because there isn't enough icepack for them to rest on. They have to swim for longer periods to catch food.

[Chaz]

Male bear to female bear: "I was in the pool, I was in the pool...."

[«LabSpecimen»]

I'm certain that "peter out" was on purpose.

[Foghorn Leghorn]

I think, I say, I think their (not they're) testicles are probably shrinking from constantly being observed, not pollution. Haven't these scientists ever heard of performance anxiety? Sheesh.

[Jazzzz]

Ya THINK, Lab! WTG Sthnbelle!

[DavetheRed]

*snork at chaz haahaaahaaaaa

[stevie w]

"Sonne and his colleagues looked at formaldehyde-preserved genitals from 55 male and 44 female east Greenland polar bears, collected from 1999 to 2002 by about 30 polar bear subsistence hunters regulated by the Greenland government."

Ninety-nine bottles of formaldehyde-preserved bear genitals on the wall,
Ninety-nine bottles of formaldehyde-preserved bear genitals...

[Clean Hands]

So, when someone tells you that you're "hung like a polar bear," that's not a compliment?

[sthnbelle]

Snork at CH!!

How's Mrs. Hands?

[DavetheRed]

I don't know, but I been told,
polar bear b@!!s get mighty cold....

[blurk]

Clean, it used to be. Now, not so much.
Literally.

And is Mrs. Hands feeling better?

[KOW]

Scientists report this shrinkage could, in the worst case scenario, endanger polar bears there and elsewhere by spoiling their love lives and causing their numbers to peter out.

So size matters after all...

[Clean Hands]

Thanks for asking about Mrs. H, y'all. She's doing quite well -- things have settled down considerably since yesterday.

[blurk]

See??!! Even polar bears have been lyin' about that for years!

[24]

Clean - what is her due date?

[blurk]

I'm really glad to hear that, Clean. I'll continue to have best wishes.

See, everybody? I don't ALWAYS talk about...where's Punkin?

[DavetheRed]

Good to hear CH.

[Jazzzz]

Great news, Clean...Give her all our best.

[Clean Hands]

She's due around the middle of next month - at this point, though, we'll settle for another week or two. :-)

And not having to do it as an emergency.

I'll pass along the good wishes!

[24]

will you let little Clean see the blog or do we need to start saving up for your sharpies now?

[Layzeeboy]

Clean, apparently you don't live in the polar region. Best of luck!

[Dougdoots]

THE WATER WAS COLD!!!!!!
Thats all.
The water was cold.

[Brad]

Adora nailed it. Less sperm competition. All the smart male polar bears move away to live in zoos now.

[Bumble]

Lab~ I was gonna say the same thing. Get out of my head! :-)

[stevie w]

To compensate, many of them now choose - or accept -partners of either gender. In other words ... they've become bipolar.

[Eleanor]

Thanks MOTW.

Very sad.

[blurk]

*SNORK* @ Stevie
That's funny; I don't care who ya are.
(Acknowledgment to Larry)

[Layzeeboy]

Best SNORK of the week, stevie.

[Jollymon]

The same thing happened to me last time I was in the arctic. At 100 below I'm pretty much just full helmet.

Scientists.

Hmph.

All they had to do was ask.

And where does the funding come for these projects? You guys think we could land a large federal grant for beer research?

[Clean Hands]

Jollymon, you don't really want to ask that question, do you? Because to adequately answer that question, we'd have to have a grant for a study, preliminary to the studies on the effect of funding Federal beer studies, and by the time we wound up actually studying beer, there would only be enough moeny left to buy a bottle of Colt 45.

[Clean Hands]

Maybe even "money." Dangit.

[blurk]

Clean, don't worry about it. With all you got goin' on you're lucky to spell your name.

[spike]

O.K. Everybody now to the tune of "When Irish Eyes Are Smilin'"

Hmmmmm MiMi Mi MI Mi

"When polar bear nuts are shrinkin'
you boys grab your bearded seals---

etc etc and so on and so forth.

[Jollymon]

CH, we'll just have to get grants for the grants.

[stevie w]

Thank you, snorkers. Pshaw. However, your senses of humor are hereinafter irretrievably suspect.

[Meanie the Blue]

In other words, Stevie, business as usual.

(*LTTG SNORK!*)

[slyeyes]

Polar bears are drowning (according to El)?

And their nuts are shrinking?

I didn't know their balls had been big enough to keep them afloat.

[thisbearbites]

I think the leading cause of polar bear extinction is the scientists who are killing them to see if they are hampered by small bits.
I don't know....maybe the scientists are compensating for something.....