SPEAKING OF FREEDOM...

Have shoehorn, will travel.

(Thanks to DavCat)

Comments

[Clean Hands]

*Snork* @ the photo.

So many captions.

So little time.

[mudstuffin]

"were detained again while trying to violate the border."

I can't imagine what this would look like. No, wait...

[fivver]

I guess Egypt's space program is missing two scientists. Not.

[jimo]

Are you sure he isn't hiding his head in the sand because he heard the sound of freedom?

[Clean Hands]

*Snork* @ mud

[Christobol]

US SENATE: Yes, but what if the Mexicans acquire shoehorn technology? Then where will our precious wall be?

[Leetie]

Quick! Before the hyena comes!

[Foghorn Leghorn]

They must have pretty soft dirt over there to be able to dig w/ a shoehorn.

AND great, another thing that will get confiscated when trying to take a flight.

[Clean Hands]

I guess their tunnel was a tight fit.

Wait, that didn't come out sounding right...

[wickedwitch]

Why Oh Why would anyone use anything to get into Russia? Or Poland, Or Ukraine, Or... oh never mind. It sure isn't for their food or their toilet paper. Maybe they should be detained at a mental facility. Oh, that's right, they are in Russia

[Punkin Poo]

"Why did you use a shoehorn?"

"We can't even get no paper to wipe our hairy Ruskie a$$es....where in da heck you think we gonna get SHOVEL? Moose & squirrel."

[kitten]

jimo - that was hot

[russell]

"However, the two men got lost on the Polish territory. When they faced another barbed wire fence they thought they already were on the German border."

So now there'll be a (totally reprehensible, I'm sure) ethnic joke that starts:

"How many shoehorns does it take to tunnel into and get lost in Poland?"

[Punkin Poo]

Oh wait - they were Egyptian.... ok... let's try this again...

"Why did you use a shoehorn?"

"It is my most prized posession. If I do not bring shoehorn with me, I cannot be buried with it, therefore I will spend eternity shoeless due to my large Egyptian feet and tiny japanese shoes."

*walks away like an Egyptian*

[Punkin Poo]

sheeesh....I know my posts were lame, but y'all didn't have to run away!

[Clean Hands]

I've been feeling that way all morning, Punkin - I had to post four times in a row in the last thread, just to keep myself warm.

[sthnbelle]

Hey, I was right there after you, Clean - you were just too busy playing with by yourself to notice.

[blurk]

I didn't run away Punkin. Just kneelin' at the altar.

[Chaz]

were they smuggling vodka into Russia...becuase that would just plain be bad interpretation of supply and demand

[Punkin Poo]

Blurk, I TOLD you - no matter HOW long you suck on those, you ain't gonna get any wine!

[Clean Hands]

*Snork* @ sb & Punkin.

[Clean Hands]

I dunno, Chaz. Demand's pretty well unlimited, at least among the Russians I've known.

And, for your own sake, NEVER believe a Russian who says that his vodka won't make you sick.

[blurk]

I hope not, Punkin!! Good lord, that would drown a man!

[Clean Hands]

Yeah, maybe, blurk... but he'd die happy.

[queensbee]

i cant figure out that picture. but couldnt they have at least used an ice cream scoop? sheesh.

[Stevie W]

Wasn't this a movie?

ALIENS - starring Shoehorney Weaver

[slyeyes]

Mother: Here's my son's picture in the paper. Did I ever tell you he was a breech birth?

[Stevie W]

Caption:

Upon their return they were promptly ostrichized.

[Somewhere North]

This is what happens when you take an economy trip in Russia. Never take the economy fare. Just go first class and you might get the donkey.

[sthnbelle]

Major snork in stevie's direction.

So glad I had finished that glass of soda before I read that. Mountain Dew is so STICKY...

[Clean Hands]

*snork* @ all y'alls.

[Leetie]

After they broke the shoehorn, they resorted to digging with pen!is pumps.

[sthnbelle]

Now, Clean, as a sthnbelle, I just have to step in here and say that "y'all" is already plural - a contraction of "you all". No need for any additional "s".

Now if someone could please explain to me what the heck a "youse" is.

[Punkin Poo]

Caption:

"Dad.....Couldn't you've had the chinese delivered like everybody else?"

(get it? diggin' to China? get it?)

fuggeddaboudditt

[slyeyes]

"Youse" is the South St. Louis version of "y'all". The SSL version of "all y'all" is "you'ens" -- experts differ on the spelling.

[blurk]

sthnbelle, if it were spelled differently I would say it's more than one female sheep. But as it stands, I don't know.

[slyeyes]

Examples.

South St. Louis Waitress: Are youse ready to order yet?

South St. Louis Waitress: Would you'ens like a box so you can take home your muskacholi? (that's mostaccioli to the rest of the world)

[24]

sthnbelle - it's frequently used in the north - especially Cleveland, as in "youse guys better get over here"

[crossgirl]

youse, usually proceeds guys so it must be masculine as well as plural. yoots is the offspring.

[Chaz]

Caption: "Nope...no Chinamen down here..."

Clean...I have th best luck with Potato vodka...usually always stays down and doesnt hurt me the next day

[Clean Hands]

In the part of Texas where I learned to use "y'all," it was the singular form, but could be used to designate the plural, as well, akin to the Standard English "you."

If you wanted to specify the plural, though, the addition of "all" and the terminal "s" clarified your meaning.

FWIW, there's a barbeque place around these parts called "All Y'alls," so I'm pretty sure that I'm not just imagining this usage.

[Stevie W]

They don't know how lucky they are, boy....

[Clean Hands]

Mosta-what, slyeyes???

[Clean Hands]

crossgirl, I'm pretty sure that "youse guys" can be used in a gender-inclusive manner with a mixed crowd. A crowd of gals of the female gender might be a different matter... or not, depending upon what neighborhood you were in.

[Clean Hands]

Chaz, that was what the Russians told me, too.

They also said that the pickle would help.

It didn't.

I made relish.

[Stevie W]

Shoehorn, Egyptian friction, funny funnel, dig themselves a big ol' tunnel
That they bore in the worst kind of way

Egyptian friction, science fiction, Moscow molemen, interdiction
Back in the USSR, they wanted to stay.

[Clean Hands]

Okay, I researched it, and all I can say is, "I'm cooking tonight!!"

[Clean Hands]

Crud.

[Wally Ballou]

I knew I shoulda turned left at Albuquerque!

[ldyadiva]

Is this a real paper? Did you see some of the other stories? The guy who killed a man, cut up the body, boiled the head for soup, and kept the heart in the freezer?!!@!

[CJrun]

*snorks* like an egyptian, relishes CH's comment, having played poker with Russian fishermen while drinking water glasses of vodka and chasing them with pickled tomatoes and pickled hot dogs.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Is that photo in the article a reenactment of the crime? *snork*

Didn't they have a map?

"Lost in Poland"? Quick, somebody write that book.

[gradgirl]

worst. ethnic. joke. ever.

[quick, hide your grandma]

how many polish guys does it take to dig a tunnel with a shoehorn?
none; they just get the russians to do it.

BOO-YAH; geez that's the first smart-polish joke Y'ALL have ever seen, isn't it??

*c'mon, you can admit it....*