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August 30, 2006

SOMEBODY STOP US! WE CAN'T HELP OURSELVES!

Snakes in an Auction

(Thanks to Zlotnick, Mike)

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There's mother frisking SNAKES all over the mother frisking BLOG!

Not another snakes story. Danmit

*waiting for mud's Snake poem*

Lets see now, sales of rubber snakes, theft of adult items, and many radio shack employees out of work...

I see that my poem has had no effect... he seems to be made of stronger stuff... I've been thinking of this for some time... and have held back as a matter of good taste... but I think it's perhaps time for this:

Whenever a snake story is posted I will write a poem containing the words "a snake crawled up my ass" or innuendo to that effect.

Give me a minute.

Feel free to join in.

each new day's a journey
a new lesson to learn

let each new mile traveled
equal the wisdom earned

heed the still small voice
that whispers as you pass:

"Hey waste-of-space, wake up,
a snake crawled up your ass"

And we will soon be seeing articles involving realistic-looking snakes in a crime.

Yay for being able to blog/follow the antics of fellow bloggers and bloggettes, now the Hurricane Workload has passed.

I say The Blog buys them, and goes around making the news by planting them at various places..

then we can blog our own actions...

Snakes at The Herald
Snakes attack Claire Martin
Snakes vs Walter
Snakes at Calle Ocho

the = that, just fyi

And the dog ate mother's toes.

Mud sounds like material for a new asault on poetry.com

There once was a lovely young lass
who had snakes all up her fair a$$
she uncrossed her legs once
and said,"Wanna see a good stunt"?
The smart people said, "I'll pass".

They put my picture up in a store window for trying to steal a 53 inch rubber um... snake

There once was a snake named Zippy,
Who wanted to be seen as "hip-py"
He visited the blog,
People called him a dog,
So he quietly moved to Mississippi.

Sorry Mud... I dont have talent, but I do have some ability to type, please forgive that BAAAAAAAAD limrick.

the tail flicks, protrudes
what the hell was i drinking?
embedded reptile


I came back from Disney World on Friday and had a snake in my suitcase - nobody noticed apparently.

Thats stright out of a Harry Potter movie set it looks like....

Gotta love how fake reality is now defining reality...

(Um, is that a a way of saying life is imitating art? I dunno...)

mofaux: actually i loved it.

once upon a late quiet night stroll
happening upon a bench near a light pole

while in reverie i sampled the cool evening air
a three foot black adder crawled up my derriere

alarmed by this circumstance i leapt quickly to my feet
and ran rapidly in circles, and like a sheep did bleat

then coming to my senses, i visualized a plan
and waddled to the grocers, bought lima beans, three cans

i ate them all, and chased them down with turnips and cheap beer
and soon felt a scaly missile escaping from the rear


BTW: I am a soccer coach, and I have to leave now to get to practice. My teams name? The Diamondbacks.

I am surrounded by pictures of snakes as I type.

Mud, I hope you don't mind if I "reprint" your latest poem on the men's room wall at The Northside Tavern, in Atlanta, Ga?

Going...going...HEY!! WHERE'D THOSE SNAKES GO??!!!

I do play therapy, and the very first item I bought for sand tray was a large rubber snake. Seems to be a universal symbol for lots of icky things. It gets buried, bites parents (playfully, of course), is usually the first object grabbed by a troubled youngster. Taps into the dark murky world of the unconscious... I can't help but comment that the topic seems to have the same kind of impact here... with us "adults."

**cancels playdate at Hanna's**

Points his baby rattle firmly at Hannah:Nyah nyah nyah!

Mo Faux - I haven't been to the Northside Tavern in about a hundred years, but if the grafitti hasn't changed, it's time.

PS. My wife got us thrown out of Blind Willies, whose motto is "It ain't easy bein' sleazy".

I developed a real aversion to snakes reading this blog a while back . . . I got over it when I had to relocate several garter snakes from my basement to the local park recently

Unfortunately, one of my duties as a householder here is to dispatch he occasional copperhead out back in the woods. I'd move 'em elsewhere if I could. We have kids around a lot.

The occasional, that is.

"you're scaly and smooth, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I'd say you must be either an accountant, or possibly someone else in senior management."

back...

guess we're still talking about ssssssssssnakes....

those weren't real snakes and no snakes were harmed during the making of that movie!?!? where's the fun in that. if anyone needs me i'll be busy returning my movie tickets.

but but snakes do have backbones, unlike senior management... or politicians...

And we have Samuel Jackson to thank for all this.....this.....ever-what! You're only as good as your last movie -or, so they say.

I leave for a while, come back and we're still talkin' bout silicone snakes........

hmmmm..... maybe its just my twisted mind. *sighs*

mud and mo, love it.

Speaking of bazoombage....

What? We weren't? Oh well, we all know we're gonna get there eventually so...

I went for my mammogram today. She had to get the "big plate".

Carry on.

Why's it always hafta be snakes? I'm movin' to Ireland.

Oh yeah, guess that's not safe anymore either.

St. Paddy, where are you?

Pogo- what could she possibly have done to get thrown OUT of Blind Willie's? Bathe? Seems more likely that any debauchery would have gotten her thrown IN there!

P.S.- I wanna party with her!

Uuummmm errrrrrrr, Kathybear? We need more details on that story, please.

Punkin' ... I'd've guessed "serving platter" ...

(that's merely supposition, however ...)

Supposition: adj., sometimes used to describe which person is on top. I wanna be supposition this time!

I so want that ebay snake lock - but $48 shipping and $10 insurance for a .99 bid seems a bit steep, even from China.

ldyadiva: Chinese sellers like to overcharge on shipping and take less on the purchase price so they will have to pay less commission to ebay. I think it just ticks people off enough that they won't buy . . .

Snake came from the Dinosaur section - won, red and fuzzy. It was a great thing to have on a hot day, needing to be kept cool by dunking it in ice water -er,well, that was me, not the snake. It being the snake dipped in ice water, however, and then draped around my neck.

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