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August 24, 2006

PRAISE BE

The Holy Ultrasound

(Thanks to Matt Foster)

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I like that. It's a sweet story.

Unless the face is actually another head. (forget I said that.)

If she thinks the image is Jesus, why didn't she name the boy Jesus instead of Joshua? They name kids Jesus in Mexico all the time!

Lisa, that is something to think about! You were first!!

Lisa, I was wondering much the same thing. don't batteries show up on xray?

Why didn't she ask for the 3D image, to confirm that her womb was, in fact, hosting the Second Coming?

It doesn't sound like she took this very seriously, until she heard the siren call of eBay...

Did anyone notice they come from a town named Studley?

Oh, for God's sak.....CRACK

ouch

I'm with billin... if not Jesus, how bout matchin up with a New Testament name at least... Joshua is SOOO Old Testament.

I don't see a face. Not even a fetal face. I definitely don't see a Jesus face. I'm going to use my Jewishness as an excuse.

billin: the names "Joshua" and "Jesus" are the same name in different languages. "Jesus" is the Hellenized (Greek) form of "Joshua". The man known to us as "Jesus" was actually called "Y'shua" by his friends, as was the man known to us as "Joshua".

"Miss Turner said she and her partner David Meikle, a 31-year-old removals man,..."

What the heck is a removals man?

oh, and "Booger".

Jesus is just one-upping Mary. What a showoff.

I think a removals man is a man who removes people named Al.

Moving-van sorta guy. Wears suspenders, if you're lucky.

Otherwise, you're looking at five to ten... centimeters of crack.

Maybe he removes 31-year-olds?

And does this kid have a crazy moustache growing already or what?

Ultrasound is ok, but to be sure, they should try amnioscenjesus.

Looks like an alien to me.

mud, thanks for sayin' that. I was just writing the same thing. 'twixt you and Lisa, I'm not yet needed.

*stands by*

Has her holy water burst yet?

She: "David, I'm about to have the baby."
He: "How do you know?"
She: "My wine just broke."

(I am SO going to h-e-double-hockey-sticks.)

Wyo-We need you!

So I guess circumcision is out of the question?

Wyo, I think you should perform a bovine gyn exam on this woman... just to be certain. :-D

*snork* @ stevie

*looks sheepishly at mom's IUD*

If the girl's name was Rose, they could make a movie called "Rose and Mary's baby."

*snork* @ Ford

it's so nice to feel wanted.

Sorry CH, fresh outa gloves

Ya'll check out the link I posted on the nekkid thread.

OK, I'm logging off now. Gonna get some work done. Here I go. Later. See, I'm clicking the red "X".

(poof)

Okay, a couple of things:

First, "nursery nurse"? Kinda redundant dontcha think?

Second, "my partner and I"? Don't people get married anymore?

end rant

Laughing at Steve W and Ford79!

I see an Eskimo trying to club a baby seal.

I also see two delusional humans. But they're OUTSIDE the womb.

...and the uterine walls came a-tumblin' down.

Looks like a hooded monk to me, or possibly a ghost.

LOL! Good one, Punkin.

Oh Puleeze, that's not Jesus, that's his penis. Although with equipment that big as a fetus, I'm sure he'll (not hell) be hearing people say "Jesus" for the rest of his life.

Well, good sex CAN be a religious experience. Maybe little Joshua was conceived at the second coming.

If you click on the picture to blow it up, and look at the middle shot, it looks like a head on shot of a dachsund, not Jesus. You can see the eyes, nose, the long ears hanging down, and even a collar.

*cranks up the bus for the trip down the highway to hell*

We're gonna need a bigger bus.

*sings Don't stand... Don't stand... Don't stand to close to steve*

Yes, a dachsund! I was gonna say "The Creature from the Black Lagoon" from the same shot, but dachsund is better.

I was thinking Opus the Penguin, someone alert Bearke Breathed.

make that Berke

From a former nurses' perspective, it's probably just a parasitic twin who did not develop and will probably be reabsorbed by the mother's body.

Everyone oughtta have a little Jesus inside of them.

Oh - or it could meld with the baby and end up as a tiny Jesus head sticking out of the baby's armpit...braindead....simply existing and spouting nonsensical dogma.

I hate that when that happens.

I've got a saws-all should anyone need it.

*packs popsicles for rocket-sled ride to hell*

I'm getting sick of all these "sightings" these days. It's getting so you can't turn on the news without having to see pictures of somebody's daiper pail or a potato or something that's supposed to look like somebody. Take for insance that grease-pan thing yesterday. What the hell is that supposed to be? There ain't no eyes, no nose, just a smear that could be hair and a smear that could be a garment of some kind. - Who says it's human? Could be a monkey in a wig. Could be Cher. How do we make the leap from "Vaguely maybe human." To "Religious icon?" My kids finger-painted better likenesses of a human form when they were in pre-school, but we didn't call the press or try to sell it on ebay. Why, when I was younger the world made more sense. If an apparition appeared to you in a sandwich you just crossed yourself and vowed to lay off the sauce, a resolution that you kept for maybe thirty seconds when you realized that in order to deal with the psychological pressure of being visited by supreme beings you were going to need a "bracer" and then another, and then eventually the pig started to come out of your dog not "out of" really just sort of morphed from dog to pig and had that horrible grin that dripped smelled like rot and death and it spoke and the words cut into your skull like a chainsaw and you didn't dare hope for death because you were sure that the voice would follow you past the grave and into hell itself.

I just noticed Sir Dave has a new book out soon. I'm surprised that walter the christmas miracle dog wasnt Walter the miracle oosic.

/hands mud a Xanax

However, I agree with all that.

/takes one herself

blurk...does that bus run on a highway?

*innocently humming that old ac/dc tune*

Mud - Ahmen, brutha.

If you look cross-eyed at mud's post, you can kind of make out a face.

I remember once, back in the old days, when my mother actually bought cheddar cheese from retail outlets. It was much tastier than the cheese we now have to stand in line for at the state-run distribution centers. Regardless, tasteless goverment cheese is better than no cheese at all, and gets me by until Cuba is rightfully ruled by Sir Gary Glitter. I shall swim there when his benevolent reign begins.

Can someone please translate that last one for me.

*between mud and political, backing slowly away from the blog*

Miss Turner said she and her partner David Meikle,...
===============
Meikle, show the Jesus more, hallelujah
Meikle, show the Jesus more, hallelujah.

Caught His image on the ultrasound, hallelujah
come on fetus, don't fail me now, hallelujah.

People almost invariably arrive at their beliefs not on the basis of proof but on the basis or what they find attractive. Blaise Pascal

That said, I believe in Punkin Poo

"why not name him Jesus" you ask: because it's a little disconcerting to wake up in the middle of the night and say "I'ts your turn to change Jesus' diaper": because his friends are not going to call and ask "Does Jesus want to come see a horror movie with us": because you hate to have to tell your spouse after discovering a Playboy under the mattress : "Jesus seems to have developed a taste for soft core porn."

Wyo, sorry buddy, but I gotta disagree slightly. I'll worship at the altar of Punkin's bazoomage but I gotta see proof!
Seeing is believing.

*SNORK!! at Betsi

*snork* @ Betsi - and what about when he gets a girlfriend, will she feel wierd yelling out "oh, Jesus" or just pleased that now she doesn't have to worry about calling him by the wrong name?

blurk, the exception that proves the rule.

:-) my friend Val actually does have a friend named Jesus and when she emailed me "Jesus and I are going to see The Descent on Saturday" I lost it. She likes to see "Jesus calling" on her cell phone too.

kitten, it gets even worse if she yells out 'Oh God!'. "No, that's my dad."

*stands back from the blog and keeps hands in pockets while watching*

Sweetie? Could you grab me a coat hanger? Jesus clogged the toilet again!

random,

Most baby boys have HUGE equipment, proportionally, but sadly for some they stay that size.

If you catch our drift there.

blurk: the weight of your fascination, no, obsession with bazoomage has taken on planetary proportions and has it's own gravitational pull so that no matter what topic we start with we invariably end up with a mental picture of ramparts with your head between them, going "Hubblubblubblubbl".

Cool.

So, Pluto will be replaced with "Blurk's Bazoomage Obsession?"

mud, what can I say? I'm a very focused individual.

blurk uses his head, "like smart men do"

I'll hold yer hat so ya don't lose it, there buddy.

And anyway, Wyo started it!

The WORST friggin photoshop job EVER!!!!

"If you look cross-eyed at mud's post, you can kind of make out a face."

Good one, leetie. Ha ha ha.

Accckkk!! now i can't get that image out of my head.

Speaking of "Hubblubblubblubbl"...

A lady went in to see her gynocologist.

After a quick examination the doctor said "This looks pretty bad. I'm going to have to numb you".

She said "Go ahead"

The doctor said "numnumnumnum".

ewww..Jolly, my OB is a woman

instead of the shroud of Turin, this is the 'shroud uterine'...

*sings 'ave maria, gratia placenta...'*

Maybe she's Lebonese.

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, o're the still smoking ashes of our dear departed insom. struck down by his creator in the very midst of his song.

I know you're all asking the same question as I am, friends. "What are the rest of the words?"

*snork @ wyo and insom

Wyo, if insom got struck down for that we are all in A LOT of trouble.

Poor insom. I'll miss him.

Joshua would be a more direct name of Jesus.
The name we use is from the greek translation of the name. This name was copied onto most Latin texts and stayed there. But Joshua would be just as usefull. Christ's name in Hebrew would be Jeshua Messiah.

Just answering some questions. Wish I had a joke. But after explaining a biblical name, it is difficult to think of any.

Wait wait,

"So Moses how big was that fish?"
"It was this big."

Wyo, Blurk......welcome, my disciples...let me finish towel drying the altar and then you may come lay your offerings...

HOLD IT!

This is Punkin's inner voice. I don't get much use, but I'm gonna have to speak up here. There IS actually a line Punkin's conscience (me) won't let her cross - and that's making herself a God. Since she's an athiest, making herself a God would also cause her to not exist, so I think we better settle for a lower form of idol, like a @%*#tease.

There.....carry on.

*SQUISH*

Damn conscience.

***Begs for another thread, while ducking the thunderbolts..........***

ω

"Om many pat me hum"

If we make you a Demi-god we will be required to sacrifice virgins to you, the only problem will actually finding a virgin.

yeah but if they DID name him Jesus...you could say things like "Jesus is a friend of mine" and "Jesus is my co-pilot"...

or "For Christ's sake, Jesus...will you be quiet"

and if he gets hot and heavy with his girl, she could yell "OH JESUS, OH JESUS"

BTW...welcome to the bus Steve...

"We're going to need a bigger bar, Beezlebub."

Dave The Re...just sign the guest book on your way out...

On an unrelated topic, I am bitterly disappointed in the IAU. Bitterly.

That is all.

Poor Insom! We've gotta help him....

*Awaits song parody from H3ll*

Punkin, you and your inner voice call yourselves anything you want...just hurry up with that towel.

Oh, c'mon, blurk, are you really that picky? Head on in there and help her out.

CH, you're right.

Punkin, give me that towel and I'll dry the altar.
I'm nothing if not helpful.

*SNORK* at all of you - Punkin, I need to borrow the towel to wipe the tears of laughter off my desk. Am glad to know the boys of the male persuasion are ready/willing/able to worship properly at the correct alter.

This is all. I must actually work now. Will catch up in a couple of hours when reality has yet again dragged me down.

Belated *snork* @ Leetie's Mud/ Face.

*STILL dryin'*

Didn't know it would be this big a job.

worship correctly? I am just good at cleaning up after...I was an alter boy...

*zips in*

Giant *snork* at everyone.

ROFL at "did her holy water break".

Jemmy, I'm with you. I see nothing and I know it's because I'm Jewish! ;)

Aside: Jews don't believe in hell, so feel free to come on over and join us! :)

*Hands El and Jemmy each a pair of Gentile-colored glasses*

Also known as Jesus Goggles.

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