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August 27, 2006

VERMONT

Suddenly, it is more interesting.

(Thanks to Charley Delaney)

WHEN PEOPLE TELL YOU THAT SPENDING HOURS ON THE INTERNET DOING THINGS LIKE LOOKING AT A BEATLES-RELATED WEBCAM IS A WASTE OF TIME WITH NO BENEFIT TO SOCIETY

You tell those people, quote: Oh yeah?

(Thanks to Steve W.)

SPEAKING OF MONKEYS AND CRIME

This is low.

(Thanks to Heather Bergevin)

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER ONE OF THESE STORIES

Snake on a Train

CRIME PREVENTION IN INDIA

To stop a monkey, hire a monkey.

(Thanks to Ken Pendergraft)

SOMEWHERE, A TALENTED BUT UNEMPLOYED ACTOR IS CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE

(Thanks to Siouxie)

August 26, 2006

IN A WAY, WE ALL WENT TO SCHOOL THERE

Boogersburg

(Thanks to Jeff Hwozdek)

August 25, 2006

THEY HAVE TO BE DOING THIS ON PURPOSE

Don't they?

(Thanks to warren anderson)

PRE-STRUMPETING UPDATE

WAIT A MINUTE....

Does this mean that it would be more hygienic to steer your car with a toilet seat?

SUBHEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

Mistakes on a Plane

(Thanks to fivver)

UPDATE

Peterdaveridleyhook

Just Read

SPEAKING OF FREEDOM...

Have shoehorn, will travel.

(Thanks to DavCat)

WON'T YOU PLEASE, WON'T YOU PLEASE

Please won't you be my neighbor?

(Thanks to Cheryl Howard and many others)

STRIKE A BLOW FOR FREEDOM

Get behind a worthwhile cause.

(Thanks to Schadeboy)

THE DECLINE OF CIVILIZATION

It continues apace.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

AND THIS BLOG THOUGHT IT WOULD FOREVER REMAIN AN IMPOSSIBLE DREAM

The robotic welly wanger.

(Via Gizmodo)

URGENT ADVISORY FOR VISITORS TO MADRID

Stay indoors.

August 24, 2006

WHAT A MAN NEEDS

A man needs this.

(Via Gizmodo)

THIS CAN'T BE GOOD

(Thanks to sthnbelle)

BULLETIN BULLETIN OHMIGOD BULLETIN

WE CAN BREATHE EASIER

They have allegedly apprehended the alleged suspect who allegedly stole SpongeBob the squirrel monkey.

PRAISE BE

The Holy Ultrasound

(Thanks to Matt Foster)

YOU SAY YOU WANT A REVOLUTION?

Well so does Deputy Prime Minister Datuk Seri Najib Tun Razak.

WE'RE NOT SURE THEY'RE KIDDING

UPDATE WARNING: Be advised that the link will show nude people who are naked and not wearing any clothes.

AIR-TRAVEL HAZARDS

There are many. Especially if you're traveling with your mom.

EVENTUALLY, WE WILL RUN OUT OF THESE

Snakes on a Snake Farm

Key Quote That Is Meant To Be Reassuring: "I know when you hear about snakes in a building, you kind of get these visions of 'Oh crap, there's snakes crawling around all over the place.' "

GOOD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND

Society-Focused Spiders

August 23, 2006

DEFINITION, PLEASE

What exactly is a Ram Groper, besides, of course, a good name for a rock band?

(Thanks to Drew Harchick)

VIRGIN MARY UPDATE

She is everywhere.

(Thanks to many people, starting with CoastRaven)

COLOR THIS BLOG STUNNED

K-Fed is not being well-received.

(Thanks to Addicted to 24)

UPDATE ON THE SNAKES-IN-A-THEATER STORY

It turns out that this story was not totally accurate.

(Thanks to Steve Lancaster)

FASCISM UPDATE

If they crack down on this practice, it may never make it to the US.

(Thanks to Chaz Schlueter)

WHY WE NEED GUYS

Guys are problem-solvers.

(Thanks to Walker Sloan)

ATTENTION, LADIES (OR MEN) LOOKING FOR JUST THE RIGHT ACCESSORY

Make your own purse from items you have around the house.

(Thanks to Eleanor)

CSI ST. ELMO

Moose DNA!

(Which would be a good name for a rock band)

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

THE AMAZING STEVE'S AMAZING IMAGINARY 24 SUMMARIES

As you know if you have no life are a regular reader of this blog,  we have continued to follow the plot of the amazingly stupid hugely popular TV show 24, even though the show is not actually going on. A key element in this effort has been the amazing Steve (real name: "the amazing Steve") who each week in the comments section of our weekly 24 post has provided a minute-by-minute account of his random neural firings the latest developments. It turns out that Steve, along with pretty much every other member of the vertebrate family, has a blog, and he has collected all of his summaries here. We have no doubt that some day, Steve will be recognized for his work by a panel of Nobel Prize judges. "Hey!" they will say. "That's Steve!"

THEY ALSO CONSIDERED CONDOMS, BUT NOBODY COULD PUT THEM ON

Pills for 'roos.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

THEY WILL CONTINUE, HOWEVER, TO USE HEROIN

Tom and Jerry give up smoking.

(Also thanks to Artchick)

MADONNA: TWIT? OR MORON?

We report; you decide.

(Thanks to Artchick)

YOUR DAILY SNAKES-ON-A-PLANE-RELATED ITEM

Samuel L. Jackson confronts true terror.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

HURRICANE PREVENTION

I am sick and tired of reading news articles offering so-called "scientific"  explanations for how come this year's hurricane season has been relatively hurricane-free. This article, for example, blames so-called "wind shear." Are they serious? Wind shear?

I have already explained what is really going on with the weather. What is really going on is: I got a bigger generator. How big is it? It is big. As you are probably aware, the standard unit of measurement of generator bigness is walrus-penis bones (WPBs). As you can see in this exclusive CrapCam photograph, my new generator is, like, a number of WPBs in height:
Image_00012
OK? So let us hear no more talk about "wind shear."

WHOA

Cows have accents.

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

FUN GUY

WE DON'T LIKE THE SOUND OF THIS

SHREWD JOURNALISM OBSERVATION

"...it's hard to be calm when a snake is wrapped around your stomach."

Another Key Quote:

"You don't want to have a 19 foot reticulating python and not know what you are doing."

August 22, 2006

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL

HEY, MR. MONSTER-UNDER-THE-BED

Who's scared now?

 
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