« Previous | Main | Next »

August 23, 2006

HURRICANE PREVENTION

I am sick and tired of reading news articles offering so-called "scientific"  explanations for how come this year's hurricane season has been relatively hurricane-free. This article, for example, blames so-called "wind shear." Are they serious? Wind shear?

I have already explained what is really going on with the weather. What is really going on is: I got a bigger generator. How big is it? It is big. As you are probably aware, the standard unit of measurement of generator bigness is walrus-penis bones (WPBs). As you can see in this exclusive CrapCam photograph, my new generator is, like, a number of WPBs in height:
Image_00012
OK? So let us hear no more talk about "wind shear."

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Just in time for Hurricane Debby! Way to go, Dave!

Does that one run on propane? Also, what did you ddo with the put-put generator of yore?

Hat trick? No? Yes?

The concept of wind chill is bull-ony too. Yeah, it's cold, but "when I was a boy" we never talked about no sissy "wind chill factor!"

*dances naked on the blog while the others are gone*

So, Dave - On the side of your generator, does it list energy savings, kilowatts per hour and "height in WPB's"???

What would you say is a satisfactory WPB length?

Suzy- we saw you.

and glad to see Walter's gettin' out more.

*sends blurk Suzy pix*

Photoshop is wonderful, Dave. You can manipulate any image you want.

You know what they say about Big Generators.

*wishes Dave would rescue Walter before he gets sucked into the generator*

That is a big generator! Is that the kind that's already connected to your house so you just have to flip a switch? I'm envious.

YAY Walter's back!

Measured in WPB's? Hmmm. What, exactly, does that thing generate? PS - I thought size didn't matter?

Thanks for the Suzy pics, Wyo. But I was watchin'. You don't really think I'd miss that do you?

Eeeeek!!!! *covers self with sarong*

And it's quiet too. We don't even have a loud one. Based on that article, I guess I'd better go shopping.

I knew you were not only watchin' but keepin' a scrapbook.

I had two generator mech's in my motor pool, and neither of them ever mentioned WPB's to me. Where are you gettin' your information, Dave?

*remains jealous suspicious of Walter.

Why are you coverin' up now Suzy? We've already seen it.

*may be grinning all day*

I'm shy, blurk.

Usually when I break wind everyone complains. In the case of hurricanes everyone's happy.

.... go figure!

Psst... Walter is naked. Maybe that is because of wind shear? The generator, on the other hand, looks large enough to power most of the block and downtown Miami. I guess Flordia Power & Light can plug right into your generator when their system fails during the next breeze.

People try to put me d-d-down
Cos my walrus penis is long and round
BTU's and WPB's
Bring it on, get a piece of me

Talkin' bout my g-g-g-generator...

So am I Suzy, so am I.

Anybody buyin' that?

dave, the rest of the state, as well as great portions of the south east would like to thank you for your sacrifice.

So, is that really Walter, or is that an emergency backup WPB that was installed with the emergency backup generator?

Hey, Dave, if I get a reeeeeaaaallly long extension cord, could I maybe plug in?

no Blurk, I am not buying that either....she sounded so cute when she did that...cute in a "I know I AM CUTE" SORTA WAY....

Dave,

It's because of global warming. Just like last years big season was because of global warming.

Dave, if there were wind shear your generator would kick the living crap out of it!

I would just like to say that I’m sure everyone appreciates Dave’s sacrifice in purchasing the largest generator he could. That way he saves Florida, and gets to buy boy toys. :)

The other really good side effect is that he can continue to blog, even if the power goes out. (We would all miss our daily dose of his Daveness.) (Grin)

May I add one other thing, I really like this blog, you’ all have a good time without being mean and that is a really good thing. I know I’m more of a lurker rather than a poster for the most part, but some of the other blogs I’ve read, if you have an opinion and someone doesn’t agree with you they really write nasty stuff. So, I just wanted to say that this is really nice.

kittypaws, everyone is welcome here as long as they don't engage in personal attacks. We get a little upset when that happens.
Keep blogging!! Stop lurking and just jump in. That's what I did.

kittypaws - we rein it in when necessary - but it can get a little too serious, which is a 4 letter word on the blog

Kittypaws, just who the h3ll do you think you are saying that about us? Are you some kind of raving lunatic bi...

Huh? Whaddya mean? It's not?
Uh, whoops...

;-)

*snork* @ meanie

A little bit of pressure going down,
A little bit of winds spinning around,
A little bit of moisture's what I need,
A little bit of satellite data feed,

A little bit of warming in the sun,
A little time 'till category 1,
A little bit of UKMET and of BAMM,
A little bit of "whew" makes me your man….

kittypaws, this may be the first time in our lives that some of us have made a good impression!

Welcome, Daddio!

Now get back to work or I'll beat your twin.

;)

You do that, THG (Tropic Hunt Guy)!

Serves him right for denying me that flight pack.... ;-)

I woke up with Paris Hilton's song in my head. Somebody please kill me.

Welcome Kitypaws and *snork* @ Daddio!

Dave,

Two questions:

1) Is the new generator set up to kick in automatically? The problem with that is that it can make it difficult to know when to laugh maniacally at your neighbors.

2) When you told the old generator it was being replaced did it say "Whut!"?

Betsi: BANG!

Oh, in case you didn't get the reference in my "lyrics" (since I stupidly didn't post it), it's called "TD#5" (since I don't think Debbie is coming close to SoFla), to the tune of Mambo #5.

Thank you Suzy.

errr Dave....

In the event that a hurricane does hit your neighborhood (perish the thought), and it turns out that you are the only one with power in the area, might I suggest that you may wish to have a look at something from the Smith & Wesson (TM thingy) catalogue, to go with your new generator...

During St. Louis' marathon power outage in July, one of the news stations ran a story about generators. The guy from Generators R Us was extolling the virtues of the Binford 5000 Big A$$ generator with More Power (or whatever it was) and saying how a homeowner doesn't have to do anything; as soon as the power goes out, the generator takes over and runs everything, including A/C.

The reporter asked about the smaller, gas-powered generators. He laughed and laughed and said they are worthless and that everyone needs the big a$$ generators.

Then he was asked how much the Binford 5000 BigA$$ generators cost.

$4,000 - $5,000. Without installation.

I'm going to have to go with the smaller gas-powered put-put generators.

How I've missed Walter!

Seriously, I've been hoping he'd come outside (no pun intended, trust me) to check the skies.

Hmmmm, walrus penis bones?

Is this measurement anything like a cubit?

Good to see you again Walter. I was begining to think that you were kidnapped by Castro as shown in picture 6.

Dave...Thanks for saving us from the hurricanes with that big-a$$ generator you bought. What are you gonna do for next year??

It is possible that the hugeness of the generator (as measured in WPBs) could have a lasting effect for years to come.

The comments to this entry are closed.

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise