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August 28, 2006

FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSES WILL BE SENT

...to the woman and the dog.

(Thanks to, according to judi, "one million people")

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"Li paid for repairs."

Well, Duh.

The dog deserves the Florida license. The woman, not so much.

Li has got to be Chinese for Paris.

This being China, though, the dog may by now be in a bit of a stew. :-)

*snork* CH!

That woman is stooopid! Everyone knows only CATS can drive! duh....

according to judi, "one million people

One million people what? Danced the macarena? Were shot in the thigh by Jack Bauer? We need to know!

What color was the dog?

I found it amusing that steering wheel was a hyperlink to related topics.

I thought about sending this in but knew I would be only one of many!

So, was the woman crouching down while the dog steered? And if so, I am getting a very disturbing image in my head...

The woman, identified only be her surname, Li . . .

uh, yeah. that narrows it down.

reminds me of Talledega Nights commercial....

A Florida driver's licence should also be on its way to this Detroit-area teenager.

The teenage driver told police he was text-messaging on the phone....

thus he avoided the good cop/bad cop interrogation that was inevitable...

The moron in Detroit and the Li woman in China both need to be euthanized. The poor dog has already been roasted for sure.

First the dog then the texting teen what's next???

...And on the story from Detroit, there was an ad for recieving weather & traffic updates on your phone.

OFFICER: "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
TEENAGER: "Uh, sorry occifer. I was just reading about this accident on my phone and uh... yeah."
OFFICER: *thump*

Bwaaaaaaaaaahahahahahahahahaha!!!

What an idiot!

Too bad these two can only be Darwin award nominees. Enter them both in the people are stupid fan club. My church's youth minister says the students text message during discipleship classes and church! Even saw one dope answer his cell phone during the sermon and talked for a couple of minutes! The future looks bleak.

Anyone else think of Toonces the Driving Cat from Saturday Night Live? He wasn't very good either.

Cheer up, sweet pea! Soon, we'll be able to have implants, so you won't have to listen in on the dinner plans from the nimrod down the pew from you.

On the other hand, it'll get even more difficult to tell businessmen apart from the stark raving nutters shouting to themselves on the street.

I will admit I texted during Church once.....and I do do it while driving...but I dont drive slow when I am doing it. I, unlike most south florida morons, can do two things at once

I swear, when it rains here, the windsheild wipers confuse most drivers as they go back and forth

I used to drive faster in 2 inches of snow then these people do in the rain...

just shoot me......

whole lotta snorkin' goin' on.

I had to take the keys away from my Border collie. Every time he drove we ended up at Pet Smart.

Adora, that's what I was referring to when I mentioned up there that only cats can drive...Toonces drives better than most here in Miami.

Chaz, I've some experience driving both in 2 inches of snow, and in a South Florida rainstorm.

I, too, would drive faster with two inches of snow on the ground than I would when I cannot see the car in front of me for the rain between our vehicles.

Did I ever tell you about the time that someone tried to kill me on a Florida highway, by tossing a refrigerator box at me? ISIANMTU. Right after leaving the Miami airport, and having turned down the rental car agency's CDW coverage.

Fortunately, I am not a South Florida driver, so my reflexes were fast enough to dodge the box. I didn't stick around long enough to see whether it had a fridge in it or not.

Off topic a tad--phone implants (GNFAB?) reminds me of driving in Nashville and passing an obviously mentally ill person who was yelling at the top of his lungs. My hubby and I debate on the object of his wrath--manhole or blade of grass. Either way, made sure the doors were locked. And this was definitely before bluetooth and such.

my mother says she has a third cousin who was killed by a mattress flying off the back of a truck. I have no idea if that's just family legend or not.

ISIANMTU

I have never had a refrigerator thrown at me while driving (me, not the refrigerator) on the interstate.

I occasionally see box springs along the freeways out here. They generally look as though they've fared approximately as well as the deer that sometimes accompany them on the roadside.

What a deer is doing in the middle of the road on a box spring, I do not want to know.

Yeah, well, I guess I must have done something to provoke them, blurk.

Maybe I startled them by using my turn signal.

CH, I wouldn't wanna know either...

There was a sad news item here in ATL a few years ago. A guy was killed when a portapotty fell off a truck on an expressway and came through his windshield.

Insult added to injury.

pogo, I dare say that it added more than insult.
Sh!tty way to die.

Hey, somebody had to say it.

Can you imagine the guy who had to tell the widow and keep a straight face.

I have got to think that that's where the writers for Dead Like Me got the idea for "toilet seat girl."

"I never said he could drive WELL . . ."

there were a bunch of people that got impaled by road debris down here.

the weirdest thing I ever saw on the side of the road was a giant screen TV...rear projection. D'oh

"But officer, he was the only one sober!"

I have to admit to having a horse take me home when I'd had a few, and that worked out ok.

That is one very disturbing image, MKJ.

(Or do I just have a hyperactive dirty mind??)

I always feel bad when I see someone whose brand new furniture flies out of their truck. And then I think "what moron would get on the highway with furniture in their truck and NOT tie it down?" Then I just point and laugh.

anyone ever hit a deer? I did...thats scary

Chaz & CH: last year while driving I-95 in Florida I had to dodge a padded comfy chair sitting in the second lane. A few miles further on we passed a Mexican family in an ancient open truck with the rest of the living room furniture. A 10 year old boy was riding in the back trying to keep from losing the rest of it.

ISIANMTU

Perhaps Ms. Li thought her dog was a Greyhound.

no but I once hit an old man that was crossing the street...HIS fault totally!!

Jeff - makes you wonder where that family's priorities are! sheesh!

The real reason for the crash is the dog forgot to use his hand signals. They're stupid that way.

I've hit a deer. Not fun.

Deer snot all over the windshield.

Watched my headlights pop out and go bouncing merrily down the road.

Fortunately, this happened right in front of someone's hunting cabin, so the deer did not go to waste. Tenderized, even.

I almost got hit by a house once. I was pulled off and stopped on the side of the road so this house moving crew could get past and they came within a couple of feet of taking the top of my car off. I could see myself trying to explain that one to Allstate.

Wyo: was a dog steering (driving?)
;-)

CH, old geezer snot on the windshield is NOT purty either!!!

Chaz, I've hit deer, and they have hit me, but with This Bumper I don't much notice.

MKJ, the dog was passed out at the party. Saw him limping home the next day.

dang Wyo, can you come and steer Ernesto away from Miami with that thang????

wyo, i have a similar story, only when i've been drunk it's been jackasses that carry me home.

Wyo - I would love to have that bumper and pummel all the jerks that run red lights well after my light has turned green!!!! "oops, sorry I demolished your car - I've barely got a scratch!"

Hope your geezer didn't wind up the way my deer did, hung up for dressing in a tree before the tow truck even arrived.

Mrs. Hands used to work at a job processing insurance paperwork. Saw a pic of a car that had hit a road crew worker... it had an imprint of his face on the hood. *shudder*

it does give one a sense of well being.

Cross, maybe you and I should give up drinkin'.


... nah.

Wyo: that's not a bumper, that's a cow-catcher . . .

CH, the geezer was ok...couple of broken bones...hair line skull fracture...no biggie...but my car had a DENT!!!!! sheesh!!!

Then again, gas probably doesn't cost as much in dog dollars . . .

Deer snot beats deer booty. Three doe ambling across the interstate at 5AM. All three lived to tell the tale, however.

Wyo, blurk - will you guys come out here and round up yer dang coyotes? They aren't native here, and now we got 'em in the neighborhood here.

her brother did it

So... the guy was just an attention wh0re? Who knew?

sheesh..he coulda just done a Paris and released a sex tape or somethin'

Can't do that, pogo. some non-Wyo residents insisted the feds reintroduce wolves here. We tried to tell 'em. Now the coyotes are bookin' out of the country. Tough cookies.

Siouxie! How's the weather down there in The Cone of Death these days?

its a very nice day out...except for people waiting for gas

cowboy, not only off topic, but NOT funny. shame on you. no more beer.

We used to have red wolves here. They're nearly extinct. They kept the deer herds managed. Coyotes aren't any good at that.

Siouxie, where is the hurricane party? Fritz and Frans?

Further info: From perky 9 news team

if any one cares.

The weather is gorgeous...you'd never know that we're all ABOUT TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

uh...I'm ok now..really!

We're gettin' the same problem up here, Wyo. Do these *bleep* treehuggers know how much money a rancher loses everytime a calf is lost to one of those d@mned wolves?

sorry, Cross, don't click the link.

This turd just wanted a free ride back from Thailand... and to avoid spending time on the Thai prisons for whatever he did that was so serious that it drew the attention of law enforcement there... the mind boggles.

My dad once hit a deer when I was about three or four. My mom and I went to go get him at the site of the crash, since the car had to go to a garage to be fixed. According to my mom, when we got to the scene I asked "Mommy,is that Bambi?"

My mother replied, "No, Bambi isn't stupid enough to jump in front of cars."

I was okay with some random animal dying as long as it wasn't Bambi.

Chaz, I'm SURE there's a party @ Fritz & Frans! you know Miamians never shy away from a hurricane party...it's our reward for standing in line all day :)

did some one say party? do they have a hitchin rail for the horses? I'll need a ride home.

I'm sure we can find you a ride home, Wyo...

You can catch the Ernesto Express...course that'll blow ya to North Carolina.

Siouxie - is it really pretty there? It's always wierd to watch the news after a huge storm hits. They're always standing amidst destruction, but the sky is the most beautiful blue!

kitten, you really wouldn't know there's a hurricane about to destroy every living soul in the state :)

it's awesome outside...

Siouxie- Also, I'm hearing tentative good news that it may make landfall as a TS. We can hope.

Lisa, I sure hope so! by the time it get up your way it probably will be just a rainstorm...

sends an "s" up there

Hopefully for you too. Dare I say...maybe Dave's generator will save us again?

I'm tellin' ya, Lisa, hunker. HUNKER!

I'm HOPING Lisa..if not we'll all go crash at Dave's house!

blurk...I'm ahunkerin'!

blurk-I realize you’re speaking militarily, however speaking hurricanily…oh what the hell. I’m hunkering! *wink*

Did the dog have a license?

not sure, stevie but I think he had a tag...

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