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August 30, 2006

ERNESTO DEVASTATION REPORT

After two solid days of girding for Former Potential Hurricane Ernesto, Floridians emerged from their homes this morning to find a devastating scene of devastation. Many sidewalks were dangerously wet. Locomotives had been tossed about as if they were toys.
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Also many trees and utility poles were horizontal.
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We definitely need federal assistance.

Comments

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Dave,

You should be ashamed of yourself.

FEMA, Where are youuuuuuu?

Dave,

As the newly appointed head of FEMA (Female Emergency Manager of Alcohol) I have seen the devastating devastation first hand! AND I assure you my office has truckloads of Federal Assistance(chilled of course) on standby ready to be distributed amongst the poor helpless victims of
Tropical Breeze Ernesto.


This terrible state of affairs might provide your only chance to do a two-handed 360 reverse slamma jamma. Don't miss it, the kids will be impressed.

Why do Thomas' eyes look so crazy?

I'll drink to that even!

*hic*

we're still having Hurricane Therapy here...

More beer, you defintaly need more beer!

*snork@Siouxie* Looks like Walter could use some emergency Viagra.

Why do Thomas' eyes look so crazy?

Because he's been tossed about as if he were a toy? Or maybe just a tad too much Federal Assistance.

Thomas is way too excited to be on Walter

could you send fema my way? i'm stuck at work with a small child who is rapidly losing interest in the workings of the office.

Dave, Try to avoid a hangover hang on! I have it on absolutely zero good authority that President smirking chimp Bush is playing golf giving this weather fart tragedy his easily distracted, look, something shiny! undivided attention.

The sound of crickets Help should arrive by electiona day shortly.

Last year on 8/28 we had the worst hurricane ever; this year on 8/28 we had the nothingest hurricane ever. Maybe next year we could have no hurricane at all?? Signed, Hopeful

Are you really sure that's the brand form of federal assistance you're after?

(Scroll down a bit on this link)

It seems obvious that Thomas has been left behind because he's old and blue. If he were a new, silver train the government would have been there in a heartbeat. It's sickening.

-Steve

Yeah to Punkin!

Help, I'm being drizzled to death!

Meanie -- Thanks. Fixed it. Whew. That was close.

hmmm linky not working for me....

nevermind...it works :)

Dave - As a Certifiable Red Cross Volunteer, I will soon be deployed to your house to asses damages. Please have all hopped & barlied semi-perishable beverages available for testing, as they may require filtering thru my kidneys our Secret Red Cross Filtering Device (SRCFD).
Please keep in mind, it is desirable illegal to spank interfere with a largebreasted hoochie mama volunteer in the course of her nekkid hurricane dancing duties.

So all day yesterday I was glued to the TV and the TV people kept saying that we should all hunker down. I'm new to Florida and wasn't sure how to hunker. I thought maybe this was some Spanish word. So, I called my brother who took a semester of Spanish and he said that he thought hunkering involved alcohol and probably rum. It worked like a charm.

Sobe,

Welcome to Miyami!!

As a fellow So. Floridian of the Cuban kind...hunkerin' does indeed involve plenty of alcoholic cool refreshments. I've been hunkerin' for most of my adult life and I've never had a problem during any Hurricane or emergency situation. So hunker away!

asses, Punkin?? :)

yeah! labatts! my favorite!!! this should make work, and small children, bearable.

Thanks, Punkin... needed the lol.

Hows that taser workin' out for ya?

That would have been very FEMA-like, Dave.

Glad to have helped avert a near disaster.

Actually, it was a near disaster. Glad to have helped avert a disaster.

/pedantry

This is to much for me to take. I will personally go to Miami and help with the rebuilding effort (or just work on my tan).

better you shouldnt get federal assistance. they will show up 3 months late, with warm, old beer anyway.

It's a horrible mess down here, Addicted! I mean there are branches AND puddles EVERYWHERE!!! We need all the Federal booze aid we can drink get!

If I didn't have class, I'd love to be a drinking buddy...er...of assistance. Good choice of beer, too.

for anyone wondering why duct tape is on the list of hurricane survival supplies, it is for strapping down loose children who SHOULD BE IN SCHOOL RIGHT NOW, D@MNIT!!!!!!

Caption for the first pic:

Train on a snake.

Okay, I'm certain Walter was not short in the last picture. What has Ernesto (or Thomas, or Dave, or Judi) done to him??

Uhmmm... Dave? Us Canadians would love to send you down some real beer to help you get through this devastingly horrendous time. That's just the kind of aid we're best at providing. But we could send you a better beer than Labatt's Blue (or Bleu) ;)

How about some of Granville Island Brewery's finest? I'm sure that one of your Vancouver bloggers could send down a truckload, or so :)

I volunteer to drive the truck. Someone else is going to have to volunteer to pay for my plane ticket to Vancouver ;)

I'm with ya, Dave!!

We watched in rapt fascination as the horror of near-tropical sub-disturbance Ernesto stealthily stalked or placid shores.

We laid in our emergency supplies (12 bottles of sake, 2 loaves of bread, and three jars of peanut butter, a roll of tape and a box of hefty bags. We prefer sake in a crisis, 'cause it's best warm and completely eliminates the need for ice!), and hunkered down for the impending doom.

As Ernesto made landcrawl, we killed the first 2 bottles of sake. The tension mounted as several leaves and branches in the yard appeared as if they might be about to sway in the breeze, and at least a dozen rain drops fell on our Cape Coral driveway. Oh, the humanity!!

As school had been cancelled, we had no choice but to drink the rest of the sake and make the kids clean their rooms.

Please tell FEMA to send more sake, and for God's sake please get the kids back in school!!

Pirate64

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