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July 22, 2006

THEY SAY THERE ARE TOO MANY TELEVISED AWARDS SHOWS

But this blog firmly believes there is room for one more.

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Wow, two firsts in one day!

Strumpeting will be over by July 31. Does the Blog have plans to report live from the event?

Most importantly, will Punkin be eligible?

Punkin is a definite contender in the D+ category.

Bra, humbug.

Oooh! Can we vote on this? I have a few choice things I'd like to tell Playtex and Bali about their products.

On another note, I just got back to my sister's house after attending Dave & Ridley's Dayton strumpet event. They were very funny and personable, despite the fact that they must be utterly worn out after the day/week they've had. If any of you guys can make it to future signings, I highly recommend the experience. Thanks again guys!

Bumble, did you bite?

*snork* at Dr Acula!


I dunno, Bumble. Ridley and Dave were getting pretty testy in Naperville last night. For example, I didn't mention it before, but Ridley was kinda losing his temper here, yelling, "Move this line along, willya!? Can'tcha see Dave's arm is getting tired ?!"

(Just kidding. They were SO sweet, and a big hit with all the kids too.

And thanks again to Meanie for posting my pics.)

Looking forward to Bumble pics.

OOOOOOH! Do ya think they'll have a "Best Supporting" Award? I need the 50lb and over catagory.....

i think they should call the award the 'Teddy'...

I think they should call the award "The Punkin."

"I'd like to thank the Academy, a shout out to the US Army for coming up with lighter, stronger fabrics, and a dis to gravity. Peace out."

"Can somebody help me down these steps...I can't see my feet..."

If half the thought that went into supporting women's breasts went into supporting men's balls, men would not feel so oppressed. When was the last technical innovation of the jock strap? I'm telling you, if women had balls, they'd be getting plenty of attention. But probably not applicable to men's balls though. Ponder this... there are plenty of men with fairly large breasts. Yet there is no Ipex man's sports bra. Women's sports bras prevent chaffing, but check out some guy who's run 10 miles in a polyester shirt sometime -- many chafe till they bleed. We guys have to resort to hair removing band-aids or athletic tape to prevent chafing.

Men, stand up and demand equality!!

Brad, dude, the meds are over there. *points*

Brad - yes.....but if men had to be tested for testicular cancer the way WOMEN have to be tested for breat cancer (by being squeezed in a vice!), I don't think you'd be welcoming the "equality".

Am I RIGHT, girls??????

*tosses an 's' up to her breaSt*

"Am I RIGHT, girls??????"

Punkin, you talking to us bloglits of the female persuasion, or to your chest?

If to us, HEAR, HEAR!

*jumps off soapbox....gets whiplash from a bouncing breast-slap to the face*

Yeah, but Punkin... Who was last female athlete to give her left breast to win 7 straight Tour de Frances? Answer me that!

Dominique Androgenay, in 1952.

And, I might add, most men would not choose to wear a jock strap unless absolutely necessary (how many hours a day are you guys really playing contact sports, anyway?). Many females would love to go braless, but because of size, gravity, discomfort, and the fact that the working world would come to a virtual standstill, we are forced to wear them, like it or not.

It's been many years since I was able to pass Ann Landers's "pencil test". Nuff said.

And lets do some more comparative anatomy while we're at it... When a woman has huge breasts, she is admired. A man with huge balls... He either has an infection or is "too aggressive". More blatant sexism from society. Quick brothers, someone quote me some Simone de Beauvoir...

Huge balls are "aggressive"? Huh? Unattractive maybe, but aggressive?

Brad, you know you can't win this, right? When a woman has huge breasts, she has difficulty being taken seriously in the business world. When a woman has small breasts, she is considered less desirable by certain males in the social world. If a man has balls that are larger or smaller than average, in the course of normal business or social occasion there is no awareness or judgment to affect him. And when it is 105 degrees out, like this delightful day, he can sit comfortably in his living room, legs splayed in front of the fan airing out the boys. A woman gets to choose which form of discomfort she wants, hot and chafing bra or the gravity thing.

*climbs back down off soapbox, joins Brad at the medicine cabinet*

Is that Brad on the left in this photograph?

snork @ wooster girl re pic of Brad

Yeah shellann... You try walking around with your knees two feet apart and see how seriously the business world takes you.

Even our favorite jokes are totally sexist... Consider... "What do you have when you have two green balls in your hand? Kermit's undivided attention." Ha ha freakin ha. Now, let's turn that into a Miss Piggy breast joke and you have a lawsuit, a slap in the face, a restraining order, and probably a GPS tracking device permanently locked around your ankle.

(snork@wooster girl too!)

Nine out of ten men prefer women with ample breasts, the other one prefers the nine other men.

NTTATWWT, but I'm with the first group. Well, I've never met one I did'nt like.

two feet apart? - no fair without pictures! And I hadn't heard the Kermit joke - good one.

Chuckles all around.

Punkin', what were once vices are now habits.

Shell, what you do, guy or gal, when it's hot is walk across the street and skinny dip with the manatees in the Indian River. Manatees only chafe on boat props. Excuse me, I gotta

You want a picture huh? Here's are some "ram parts" for you:

Click

Brad, that photo leaves me sheepless.

Baa, ram, ewe!

Mmmm, we could add some ram parts to this recipe and make it even yummier!

That's not normal?

WoosterGirl ~

You're drifting into "Fear Factor" territory now!

WoosterGirl...After seeing that, I'm starting to question my heritage.

Brad, thank you for the visual, I completely understand now.

CJ, enjoy your manatees (or womanatees as the case may be).

Allright Brad....He scooooooooooooorrrrrrrrreesss

I have started work on a book about Ramparts. Read it here.

If anyone would like to join in the fun, grab the software (it's free for Mac and Windows), make your own Ramparts book, send it to yourself (this will make sense when you have the software) and post a link here.

BTW, if you like the software, drop me an e-mail offline. This is what I work on when I'm not trying to earn *snorks* on the blog...

"Lungs are illegal in the United States, so you may have to do without that delicious part"

So sheep lungs are illegal?? Do the sheep know that??

Wessonality--what is this Ann Landers pencil test? I ask this with some trepidation.

Ok, you asked.

To determine whether you have too much bazoomage to go braless, you perform the Ann Landers pencil test.

Place a #2 pencil beneath one unadorned breast, and stand up. If the pencil falls to the floor, congratulations! You need not wear a bra!

If it is trapped, (and possibly difficult to locate), and remains beneath your breast, congratulations! You need not worry about getting a date to the prom!

Wessonality ~ What if you send your accountant in there after the pencil, and he doesn't come out?

(I ask for, ah, a FRIEND......yeah, a friend...)

Punkin,

Who do you have in there?

Punkin...You are talking about the entire H&R Block staff!

got here late but...*sends in search & rescue team*

No one has mentioned the award " 'easier for pubescent boys to unhook in the dark' clasp innovation".
There could be a Nobel for that engineer.

Tigger...the thought occured, but I couldn't say it so eloquently as you. Thanks

Totally agree with Tigger. Speaking as a former pre-pubescent boy who once got slapped in the chin with a snap from a "body suit". Don't ask.

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