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July 21, 2006

SNAKE-RELATED STORY OF THE DAY SO FAR

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This would be the ONLY kind of snake I'd want!!

JuJu Man WBAGNFARB

Who the hell wrote that??!! Did any of it make sense to anyone?

"What kinda snake you got there?"

"An Indonesian ATM - very rare"

So what happens when the snake that vomits Dollars eats the Goose that lays the Golden Eggs?!? ;-)

Maybe you end up with these?!? ;-)

blurker - I'm confused as well...but then again...doesn't take much.

Huh? Read it three times and still don't get it.

"Upon entry her 18-year old granddaughter chanting as two red candles gave out a yellowish glow."

Who wrote this thing, Captain Beefheart?

My head's still spinnin'.

Perhaps our Pullet Surprise winning leader needs to give a tutorial.

Apparently there was some sorta scam going on...that's about all I figger out.

*can*

How lovely! A candlelit snake soup dinner in Lagostown. Sounds like a fine evening.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go as I have caught the whiff of strong-scented incenses.

blurk, thank God I'm not the only one who walked away from that train wreck of writing scratching my head. All I got was ju ju, snake and Grandma killed it.

And what did the story have to do with "a building housing military personnel"?

Should I be offended?

Somebody help me out here.

Blurkie, just eat your soup, hon.

maybe snakes are their secret military weapon????? I don't know.....

oops, I forgot I'm still mad at you, blurk

Don't be mad 24. I will send the pictures as soon as I get written permission from Mr. 24. If I remember correctly you're married to a cop. I don't have many rules that I live by, but being a cop myself, there is one that is invaluable:
Never send pictures of your dangly bits to a woman whose husband carries a gun for a living.

Big deal. Anyone can vomit dollars if they eat enough of them. We've already seen that snakes will eat electric blankets and alligators. Dollars ought to go down pretty easy after that.

Then I shall have to paint a mental picture! Don't you carry as well?

I know I haven't had enough coffee this morning, so was very happy to see that Blurk, et al. confirmed that this looked like it was written by a kindergartner in heavy need of Ritalin.

"The enraged old woman quickly went for a pail of boiling water"... Yeah, I keep one on hand at all times, too.

Yep. Beretta 9mm and on occasion (by which I mean in a war zone) an M4 (the new version of the M16). Which is why I know this is a rule to live by.

good rule. I can use his .38 but his .45 is a bit much. I have learned to use our shotguns, which I prefer. Glad I do not have to worry about it as a living but sue to his profession, I have learned from necessity.

...due, not sue...

anyone know where i can get some a that money-makin juju?

I agree with Punkin. If ya GOTTA have a snake, I suppose a money-pukin' one would be the way to go.

"The enraged old woman quickly went for a pail of boiling water and poured the hot fluid on the esoteric python, which died instantly."

It needs to be said that Esoteric Python WBAGNFARB.

Also, what, this enraged old woman keeps a pail of boiling water handy in case of money vomiting serpents?

Dave - this is what happens when you stop blocking the barn door. What language was that exactly?

"All roads led to the commandos part of Accra Newtown, otherwise known as Lagostown"
-Do other towns you know of have commandos parts?

"The enraged old woman quickly went for a pail of boiling water and poured the hot fluid on the esoteric python, which died instantly."
-That is one pissed-off old lady.

"The girl whose account of the event could thus not be obtained, was said to have sought money-making juju and the juju-man"
-Okay, this makes perfect sense now.

Jeeez....

Dave please cancel your plans to strumpet books in Nigeria--please.

Lairbo, doesn't EVERYONE know that when the juju-man gives someone an incantation to make pythons vomit American dollars and cedi (why is it that currency keeps appearing on this blog??) esoterically on a Wednesday, the ONLY remedy for enraged grandmothers is a pail of boiling water??? Sheeeesssshhhh, did you just fall off the turnip truck??

if I rub its belly, will it crap platinum?

Forget the money-puking snake, I want the juju-man. So much more potential.

Here come ol' gramma, she come groovin' up madly, don't like juju cedi, she one holy roller, she got boiling waaa-ter in a pail, got to kill the python and you know she won't fail! Come together, right now, esoterically!

Those were turnips?!

I couldn't find the part of the article confirming that the dollars came from inside the snake.

Also, if the old woman poured scalding water on the snake, did she therefore launder the money too?

*snork* @ obi wan

that was great!

*SNORKs Lairbo

Thanks SNUCC!

I thought it said monkey vomiting snake.....not sure that makes anymore sense than money. ...making appointment to get my eyes checked.......

Bookworm - I read that article three times (which was painful, given the writing) and I couldn't find any reference to the money actually coming out of the snake either. I'm going to get me a job writing headlines - apparently they don't have to be very accurate.

All your juju are belong to us!!

Also, ROFL at obiwan...

I noticed where the article came from. Was this translated from the official language of Ghana? Oh, wait, that would be English.

Still confused.

Marfie--good goal! Apparently all you need to do to write a good headline is sensationalize! Never let the contents of the article or *facts* get in your way!

Lemme think...who do I know that writes great columns without worrying about facts? Don't tell me, it'll come to me...

Bookie, when have I EVER let those pesky fact thingies get in my way...?

How did the snake get on the plane? The electric blanket would have set off the metal detector!

BTW, SusyNameUnderConstructionCruz, how about SNUCCI? That would fly on this blog! Plus, (and a BIG plus it is!), "*Snorkin' SNUCCI"* kinda sings, doncha think?

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