« Previous | Main | Next »

July 25, 2006

FOR THE ACTIVE CELL-PHONE-USIN' MAN

Like Jack?

(Thanks to Qween Puler)

Comments

Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.

Well, if Jack ever used the bathroom, he might want one of these.

But that's half the fun of going. If it were shaped like a woman's hand, now you're talking.

or a figure-skater.

I didn't see the urinal penny

it is adjustable???

Aside from the obvious disturbing aspects of this "invention" - what is the poor schmuck who is on the other end of the line supposed to do when he / she is forced to hear the cell phone user relieving himself WHILE ON A CALL!?!?!?!?!

That is just nasty!

Does it give you the shake???

To be truly guy ready it needs some extra controls like a hydraulic height adjuster, heater for cold days, girth adjustment, shaker attachement etc.

Needs to be automated. Zipper-puller-downer, thumblike waistband pulling device, dangly bit extractor, shaker, and of course all of these in reverse.

If I were a man of the male gender, I would pull a Madonna about this little device. Why would you wanna rest yours where some nasty dude just rested his?

Ann, 'cause unlike women of the female gender we aren't too particular about what it comes into contact with. (i.e. Twitney, Paris Hilton, etc.).

*scratches Layzeeboy off list*

Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!!!

List? What list?

Wow, I just turned into Monk. "Don't touch me with that thing until you've washed it at least 100 times in hot, germ-killing water! And bleach! And ammonia!" (But not at once, 'cuz that'll kill ya)

Awww, Annie I was talkin' about OTHER guys of the male gender. Please reconsider.

*scratches Layzeeboy under ear*
Ann - pass the bleach, please.

How do you adjust the height on that? I'm just asking... for a friend of mine... yeah, that's it...

I'll take your "EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW" and second it with "ICKY!"

Also: you shake it? Don't you use toilet paper? What if there are ick particles left on you?

Annie, pass that bleach...

Here.

No TP at urinals. We gotta shake it.

(From History of the World Part II: "Oh, pi$$ boy, wait for the shake.")

Ann - we're gonna need a bigger bleach.

Interesting level that cellphone holder thingie's at...Is that in case the Little Man wants to join in on the conversation? I don't remember them talking much...

I'm picturing a guy trying to get...ummmm....positioned correctly without using his hands......I'm seeing a hip rotating type motion trying to flip it into the saddle, kinda like those old games where you had to get the ball on the string into the cup........

hahahha

OH I get it...sorry...not owning one of those things that makes one of these things necessary, I wasn't sure what it really was for. Ignore above post. *blush*

women really don't want to know
the places that mr. johnson will go

ahem...

where does he go
when nobody is looking?

why heaven knows!
is apple-pie is cooking?

you've seen that movie
did you think it pure fiction?

you thought that cooked apples
would not provide enough friction?

you've heard of livestock
right here on this blog

of sheep, fowl and cattle,
God forgive me, a dog

a corpse, and a donut
a bowl of clam chowder

the barrel of a cannon
replete with gun powder

the shell of a conch
for those with a bend

a nice watermelon
bring warm days a cool end

a chimney, a monkey
a vacuum, a squirrel

when I'm mad, out the window,
I say, "f**k the world!"

where does he go?
Rather: Where doesn't he?

the only restriction is fit,
don't you see?

If you don't believe me
ask any teenager

and he'll lie like a lawyer
on this I'll wager

'coz women don't want to know where he has been,
and most of all he wants you again.

Not unlike the eyeglass holder/anti-sliding device popularized in The Jerk

the OptiGrab!

so would this be the PeenieGrab?

we're gonna need a bigger hands-free penis holder....

You all seem to be forgetting that guys are, above all else, PRACTICAL!!

for cell phones - BlueTooth
for weapons of mass distraction- BlueUnit

Remember - shake it more than twice and you're (not your) playing with it!

and kudos to Mud on his Dr. Suess poem...

*snork* at sthn

also *snork* at mud, and *ew*

mud, excellente!!

mud, have I mentioned you're a genius?

*Snorks* at Mud and Curious.

And, 24, you won't hear a darn thing, 'cause we're not talking, we're listening and nodding. We take our thumb off the microphone often enough to say 'Uh-huh' and 'Really?'

CJ: That's good, 'cuz we wouldn't want any "Naked Gun" moments.

No way I'm draining the dragon using some gizmo like that. Some things will just have to remain manual...

*snork* at Studmuffin
*er um* Mudstuffin

Philintexas - Manuel drains it for you? The things they'll do down there for a green card....yeesh.

Philintexas - Manuel drains it for you? The things they'll do down there for a green card....yeesh

i'm ashamed i laughed at that. i'm ashamed i submitted the article.

*snork* Annie - my ex's name is Manuel ...HA!

OLS - I know, that was bad. I was ashamed for a minute. Then I got over it.

Sadly I haven't learned how to link, but on the Petaluma Creamery link to Cheese Process. there is a photo of a cow's udder(s) hooked up to a milking machine......kind of reminded me of this gadget

http://www.springhillcheese.com/process.html

who IS claire martin anyway?

OLS-We took a vote a while back, but the results were inconclusive. Some speculated that she's Dave's alter-ego. (that's my personal favorite)

She's the alter ego of Chuck Norris.

Oh Annie, now I have a new favorite. :-)

Is this thing used to hold one's GIANT PINK TESTICLE?

Oh.

Never mind.

Occam's Lady Schick wanted to know "Who is Claire Martin?" Well, I don't know. But I DO know that the anagram for Claire Martin is: Cranial Merit.

Well, it doesn't clear up the mystery, but it's a good "fun fact to know and tell".

The comments to this entry are closed.

-
 
Terms of Service | Privacy Policy | Copyright | About The Miami Herald | Advertise