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July 26, 2006

COURAGEOUS SNAKE TAKES ACTION TO REDUCE FEDERAL PAPERWORK

From one of the marine industry news roundups some environmental reporters (like me) wade through daily:

Python eats CFR
On Saturday, July 22, the Government Printing Office announced that a 27-foot Bolivian python (an endangered species) from the National Zoo slithered into the underground vault holding the official copies of the Code of Federal Regulations (CFR). Before it was incapacitated by numerous darts filled with strong sedatives, the snake managed to swallow Titles 33 and 46 of the CFR. It took veterinarians 12 hours to extract the important documents. In the interim, the US Coast Guard, Maritime Administration (MARAD), St. Lawrence Seaway Development Corporation, Federal Maritime Commission, and US Army Corps of Engineers had to curtail operations for lack of authority. (7/22/06).
Robert McClure
Seattle Post-Intelligencer
See my new blog "Dateline Earth" at www.datelineearth.com

Comments

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This is a joke, right? Seriously, this has to be a joke. Nothing this delicious (hee!) happens in real life.

ah-ahhahhahaha first

or not

Not sure I'm buying swallowing this ... but perhaps really a case of truth being stranger than fiction?!?

That is so much better than the dog ate my homework!

From the Code of Federal Regulations:

Title 33: Navigation and Navigable Waters
Title 46: Shipping

I dunno...maybe the snake was trying learn how to hitch a ride in the toilet of a ship?

too bad it didn't slither into the IRS building..

So, only one set of documents exists for the entire US Coast Guard, Maritime Administration (MARAD), St. Lawrence Seaway Development Corporation, Federal Maritime Commission, and US Army Corps of Engineers that they ground to a screeching halt after the paperwork got into the wrong hands...er stomach?

nah, me , they just wanted a day off

CLEARLY the Bolivians are working with South American Drug Lords to train their pythons to incapacitate the Coast Guard, thus allowing said Lords to slip unnoticed onto US shores.

OR

It was a hungry snake.

Either way, I'm against it.

Why is the government keeping important papers under the zoo? That distrubs me more than the snake eating the papers. Doesn't the government know that putting animals and papers together is just asking for a problem.

well, blurk, how else do you potty train animals?

WHOOPS I MEANT Baltimore Kat.Sorry

I think the government needs to be smacked on the nose with a rolled up newspaper for storing the files there.

Please, please, please tell me this is a joke.

On second thought, please tell me this is the absolute truth, and it'll keep my spirits up for days.

(But if it's the truth, what are these "official copies" -- some kind of holy books? I mean, if the original copy of the U.S. Constitution was lost, would that mean that all our rights........
Never mind. I don't want to give, uh, 'anyone' any ideas.)

This article is hilarious. I can't belive they only have one official copy, or do not have a computer back up that they could recopy. Are the articles even readable after bing in the snake. I am still disgusted by the fact, that it took numerous darts filled with strong sedative to inacapacitate the snake.

I don't think there's such a thing as a "Bolivian Python", is there? At 27 ft. it would be as large as all but the biggest Reticulated Pythons, so Bolivians would likely notice it right away.

Also, the GPO is near Union Station and the National Zoo is in Rock Creek Park, iirc.

I can only think of paper cuts. Also, MARAD could have kept operating, it's just that the snake would have been in charge.

Good thing I got my division's PRA approved already. The lengths they'll go to just to keep us from sending out a form.

sorry to be a little ray of sunshine, but.....

as a 21+ year gubmint employee, I can assure all and sundry (and anyone else reading this) that all federal instruction manuals are now available online, plus there is always some dweeb in a corner cubicle with two printed copies (just in case one copy gets lost).... plus no one ever reads the d*mn instructions anyway!

I'm pretty sure this is a joke, guys. Something like this would definitely make the news, and besides, no government agency relies solely on a printed copy-- even a master copy-- of administrative regulations in order to do its job.

instead of lethal injections, they should make the guy on death row have to read a CFR. he'd be bored to death before page 20. [as a civil servant, i try to steer clear of it] and if a CFR doesnt work - try the federal register.

This is just a publicity stunt for the new movie SNAKES IN A VAULT.

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