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July 27, 2006

ATTENTION, GUYS WHOSE WIVES WOULD LIKE THEM TO HELP OUT MORE IN THE KITCHEN

You should help out more. But to do that, you need this.

(Via Gizmodo via OhGizmo)

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first.

And way cool!

won't cut your fingers but will cut harder materials.

HUH??

Oh, sheesh - who has to defuse a vegetable anyway? Step away from the cabbage - leaf it alone!

Look out for the cherry bomb!

You never know where those terrorists will turnip.

Help! The broccoli is stalking me!

Wow, that tomato is loaded!

*snork* Annie!

Guess I beet you to that joke.

now we just need Dan Akroyd to do the marketing...

Peas make it stop!

lettuce, turnip, and pea?

Annie, you're gettin' a little corn-y.

Ah, shucks, blurkie!

I don't see an electric cord-maybe it uses a 2 hp Briggs & Stratton engine? (geezing along...)

Didn't anyone else go to the other "products" link?

Lotsa strange stuff, like a water door! Looks like one of those relaxation sculptures, but over a doorway-I'm guessing there is a sheet of glass in the doorframe??

So a carrot is harder than my index finger?

If this thing makes cole slaw too it's a really grate idea!

OOOOHH!!! I LIKE that! MINE is getting dull....makes them scream too much.

Vegetables, I mean.

*blush*

blurkie, just keep it away from your um paint set.

Yeah, Annie, 'cause it won't cut your finger but it'll cut harder things.

Hi, I'm Bob Vila, and welcome to another episode of "This Old Horseradish."

Sarah, can you order me one of those herb garden things?
*ponders business opportunity*

*doesn't understand*

on your link there's an "instant herb garden" (scroll down, and on the right) there oughta be a way to slice herbs on the table saw and roll 'em into balls...

Sarah J, order me one of them muff packs.
Oh. Nevermind. Not what I thought it was.

I solved this problem by constantly showing up in the kitchen naked and yelling, "Who wants to make something yummy!"

Haven't been asked to help in years.

So I don't want any more cutting implements around the kitchen, and I'm not allowed to visit the kids' school for lunch anymore.

blurkie - I set you up for that.

Sarah - I beg your pardon
You never promised him an herb garden.

*snork* @ Christobol

I was trying to link to the rocking chair toilet, it's a gross idea

Wyo - slice Herb's what?!

So, C'bol -
If you can't take the meat
Stay out of the kitchen.

(and welcome back - long time no trashtalk)

*tackles C-bol*

Where ya been??!! :)

Don't try this at home! [But I definitely want one]. It'll cut through anything if you push hard, just like a cast saw, but the idea is you're supposed to notice when it gets to fingers before continuing to push. Picture a clutch; the transmission will still go into gear, but this gives you a chance to control how much of your body you choose to feed into it. The saw. Not the transmission. Nevermind.

*Goes into the kitchen to finish defusing the corn and spinach*

KDF, are you related to Tigger?

Night all. I'm goin' home.

Hey KDF, Annie, and gang - I've been busy. But I gaze off in the distance of Dave Barry and Friend's section of the web wistfully every day.

This product seems like technological overkill to a largely nonexistent problem, so I love it. Its only flaw is that, without an black belt in non-sequitor transference, it is hard to use it to get more quality time with Selma Hayek.

Well, that and the fact that you're supposed to stop pushing on it when it starts slicing you to pieces. That's asking a bit much from the consumer, I feel.

Chris, any time with Selma is quality time.

1. Can't believe no one pointed out that Slice-a-Rama WBAGNFARB, of some sort.

2. Christobol, keep away from my Salma!

*Snorks* @ Cbol; yeah, it's been done, but I was busy in the kitchen, not having conceived your brilliant strategy

If you click on 'home' there's a product called "the ashhole" and the slogans are well...LOL

1) We present for your dining pleasure a diffusion of defused beets with julienned strumpets.

2) Actual menu item from restaurant Clio in Boston last week:
Fricassee of wild Burgundian escargots with stinging nettles and macerated beets.

Truly. They are trying to get diners to eat snails mashed with plants that are trying to kill you.

I ordered the tuna sashimi instead. I forgot to steal a menu to send to Dave via snail(HA)mail.

'bout time! Where's my gas-powered Cuisinart? Or my chain-knife turkey slicer? I demand power in my appliances!

BTW, the silicon sink seems a little too organic for me.

Does anyone else recall a column of Dave's about exploding carrots in the micro wave?

*Snorks* to AWBH and all the punsters.

First thing I thought of upon seeing this gadget -- "yeah, but how do you clean it"? Such a wife.

Sarah J -- that site is the motherlode of snorks.

Guin....STOP! you're making me hungry!

huh!

so why can't I do this with my Delta table saw?

we have a kitchen remodel coming up, maybe I should just mount the tablesaw in the counter?

That'll actually be useful when I need to rip a big chunk of stock, so long as Leah isn't also making a big pot of stock..

tek - 'mount the table saw'? There are easier ways to get a Brazilian.

*blows a kiss to C'bol*

We missed ya!

A real man would also like this

Does that thing run on batteries? 'Cause I've got a few leftover from the Ron Popeil juicer I ain't using.

Elizabette - you're among friends - you don't have to call it a 'juicer.'

Reminds me of an infomercial, or some Super Bowl/Christmas Day football pregame thingy, where there (not they're/their) were a coupla guys carving a turkey with a chain saw...or Tim "the Tool Man" Taylor with a Binford 6000 anything.

BTW, blogguys, how do bloggals define "thingy?"

No, it's not what you think, it's anything under the hood. (FYI, bloggals, "thingy" is properly defined as that bra closure hook "thingy." Just so you know...

Annie - I don't? Well, that's good to hear... Next time I'll be rid of my PG rating... ;)

Annie: It has to be a juicer. She said she's not using it.

Ann & Annie: I think the juicer was recalled. Darn thing wouldn't shut off.

I'm sure no one is reading any more, but I was out all day and didn't get to the blog until now.

I showed this item to Mr. Sallyacious, and a light of unholy glee filled his eyes.

He wants one now. I am so afraid.

Fine! So where can I get a FINGER saw?

in the words of Tim Allen in Tool Time..."ugh ugh ugh!"

which meakes me think this is made by Binford!

I'm trying to mustard up enough strength to ketchup with the consersation. I relish these jokes, & you can all take that as a condiment. You guys are soup-er! I'm not trying to butter you up, but you guys kale me with these blog postings! I'm going to milk this for all it's worth so don't squash my hopes. Lettuce all be fronds; peas don't dessert me in my hour of knead. It's not my fault- I've bean bread to make these corn-y yokes. It sure beets having to wok for a living.

wowsa catherine - I think that's a record! well done!

Obi - borrowing jokes form Sunday's Opus??

Not that it wasn't a good one!

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