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June 30, 2006

THIS CAN'T BE GOOD

Ants know how to count.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

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How the heck do you blindfold an ant?

dead ant...dead ant....dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant.....

First its the worms writiing us messages, now the ants can count...the apocalypse IS here!

Oh no. Now even ants are better at maths than moi.

"They cut off their legs so they have to walk on stumps"? Has PETA heard about this, or do they only protest about "cute" animals?

They think counting is a big deal and just sort of skim past this:

"Desert ants on foraging expeditions use celestial cues to orient themselves in the homeward direction..."

You mean, ants are saying to themselves "There's Polaris, and that means Orion's Belt is over there, and so if I keep Kochab off to the left, I'm on course!"

I had students at navigation school who couldn't do that.

Whatever method they use, they always seem to find my doughnuts.

By the way, "Ants on Stilts" WBAGNFA Canadian comedy improv troupe.

It's not so much that PETA only protests about "cute" animals, but more so that they don't protest about animals that come into your home by the thousands, unannounced, and steal your food, like ants, cockroaches, rats, or teenagers.

and ants on stilts, I've heard of a flea circus, but this is ridiculous.

Curse you Coast! You took my comment! I didn't have a chance.
oh well. *snork* anyway

"They cut off their legs so they have to walk on stumps"
I can hear the ants screaming! Make it stop!

Oh and to blind the ants I imagine they run a pin through a bunsen burner flame and ram it in the ants' eyes.

I think Dave has a crush on Claire because she gets posted all the time and I never do....sigh

Once again I find myself disenlightened as to the scientific importance of discovering how ants find their grub.
I will stick with my previous beetle comment.

It's.

A.

Bug.

sad, I think Claire has the polaroid pictures.

Setting: Formal cocktail party

Scientist #1: I'm currently working on a study to find out if hemoglobin injections can negate the effects of the WRX virus' disruption of immuno-productive bacterial development. What kind of research are you currently doing?

Scientist #2: I'm cutting the feet off some ants, and gluing stilts on the feet of other ants, so at least I've got a guarantee of further government grants.

Scientist #1: (Slapping forehead) Oh, WHY didn't I think of that... Is your company hiring?

BTW- Do ants HAVE feet??

and they march to a tune played on this.

Evil earwig...bwahahahah:

The ants go marching one by one hooray, hoorah
The ants go marching one by one hooray, hoorah...

CR: how gratifying to come here and find the very first comment is what i was thinking :)

So how do they know they can count? Did they attach a little microphone to them and hear them counting? And what do they talk about when they aren't counting?

CR, that was the very first thing I wanted to know! And if they are so smart, how come they don't just take their little blindfolds off? Maybe they only blindfolded the ones whose feet they cut off, so they couldn't reach their heads...

Government subsidies to torture insects. We thought those kids who pulled legs off ants were up and coming psychopaths. Who'd have thought it was a career choice?

CR, Judi - By "blindfold" they meant "BLINDED" - like in gouged their eyes out. Might as well since their amputating their legs, too. Oh, and just for fun they dress them in humiliating stink beetle costumes.

"they're" not "their"

*stooopid brain*

I want to know why these so-called scientists haven't gone looking for the guys who are installing the pedometers. Sounds like a practical joke to me.

I thought they looked good with the stilts. I want to see how tall they could make an ant before they start falling over.

OK, counting your steps to find your way back does not work

i've tried this method many times to find my car after last call, and it's never worked once

I guess they should test the ants after last call and see if the theory still holds true!

Puppy: that's hilarious.

Ants are arthropods; jointed critters. Living Legos. Blindfolding would entail snipping off the eye-stalk [yeah, yuck, but you would be surprised, arthropods do this to themselves; it's called autotomizing].

The only reason to run this test is to see if said critter has an internal clock or if it's able to count; it's important for figuring out circuit models for nanobots. *resumes making noises with his sackbutt*

The ants go marching one by one, hurrah, hurrah. The ants go mrchng one by one, hurrah, hurrah. The ants go marchng one by one , the little one tripped and fell on his bun. And they aaaaallll go marching down in the ground to get out of the rain, boom, boom boom.....
I've known ants knew how to count since I was five because of that lousy song, which is never going to leave my head....

I pity the poor research assistant that got stuck with gluing the little stilts on.

IF AN ANT CLIMBED UP A TEN FOOT FLAGPOLE AND HE WENT 100 STEPS BY DAY AND SLID BACK 99 STEPS BY NIGHT, HOW MANY DAYS WOULD IT TAKE HIM TO REACH TO THE TOP OF THE FLAG POLE?

answer: He never climbed the flagpole in the first place because the 4th of July picnic basket was on the blanket on the ground all of the time. Ants aren't stupid!!!!

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