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June 26, 2006

24

Here are the plot parameters inside the perimeter as of 2100 hours Eastern Steve Time:

Jack Bauer is being held captive aboard a freighter by Chinese actors who are still ticked off about a subplot from the previous season that most of us don't even remember. Audrey is still devastated. Edgar is still dead.

Because this blog has a wide international readership, we have translated this plot summary into French using Babel Fish:

Jack Bauer est jugé captif à bord d'un cargo par les acteurs de Chinese qui sont encore faits tic tac outre environ d'une intrigue secondaire de la saison précédente que la plupart d'entre nous ne se rappelle pas même. Audrey est encore dévasté. Edgar est encore mort.

For our many German-speaking readers, we have translated the French translation into German:

Bauer-Klinke wird an Bord eines Frachtflugzeuges durch die Beteiligten von Chinese für gefangen gehalten, die noch TAC-Tick außer ungefähr einer sekundären Intrige der vorhergehenden Saison gemacht werden, daß die Mehrzahl unter uns sich nicht sogar erinnert an. Audrey wird noch verwüstet. Edgar ist noch gestorben.

In case any of our French readers missed it the first time, here is the German translation translated back to French:

La poignée d'agriculteur est tenue pour recueillie au panneau d'un avion de fret par les participants du Chinois qui sont faits encore à des TAC-Tick excepté environ un lopin secondaire de la saison précédente que la majorité parmi nous ne se rappelle même pas dessus. Le Audrey est encore ravagé. Edgar est encore mort.

We just realized that we probably also have many Greek readers, so here is the French retranslation translated into Greek:

Η χούφτα του αγρότη κρατιέται για συλλεχθέν στην πηνακίδα ενός αεροπλάνου του ναύλου από τους συμμετέχοντες του Κινέζου που γίνονται ακόμη σε ένα Tac-Tick εξαιρουμένου περίπου μια δευτεροβάθμια συναρμολόγηση του προηγούμενου εποχή ότι η πλειοψηφία μεταξύ μας δεν θυμάται μάλιστα ανωτέρω. Το Audrey καταστρέφεται ακόμη.  Edgar έχει πεθάνει ακόμη.

And just in case any French readers are just now joining us:

La poignée de l'agriculteur est gardée pour collectionné à pinakj'da d'un avion nay'loy  de participants du Chinois qui deviennent encore à TAC-TICK approximativement un montage du second degré exclu du précédent époque que la majorité entre nous ne se rappelle pas même ci-dessus. Le Audrey est détruit encore. Edgar est mort encore.

In case you forgot what this is about, we will translate it back to English:

The handle of the farmer is kept for collected with pinakj' da of a plane nay' loy of participants of the Chinese who still becomes with TAC-TICK roughly an assembly of the second degree excluded from preceding the time that the majority between us does not remember even above. The Audrey is still destroyed. Edgar still died.

If ONLY Audrey is still destroyed. And if only Edgar is not still died. But we cannot think about those things now. Now is the time to think about the handle of the farmer.

INTERVIEW OF THE WEEK SO FAR

(Thanks to mudstuffin)

LEGAL MIND OF THE WEEK SO FAR

(Thanks to Chaz Schlueter)

THIS WBAGNFARB

(Thanks to Russell Mc, who seems to have a one track mind, today.)

UPDATE: And he is not the only one.

AWWW

A man and his hot dog.

(Thanks to Claire Martin)

BAD IDEA OF THE DAY SO FAR

Are they serious?

(Via Gizmodo)

RUGBY: INSANE? OR CRAZY?

We report; you decide.

(Thanks to Kaf)

A PHRASE YOU DON'T HEAR OFTEN

"Iconic public toilets"

(Thanks to Mollenkamp)

UPDATE: And we mean public.

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

THEY'RE KIDDING, RIGHT?

Right?

(Thanks to Steven Jens)

NORTH CAROLINA

Education is our business.

(Thanks to Greg Anderson)

UH-OH

Super Lice

(Thanks also to DavCat14. Get some rest, DavCat14)

FASCISM CREEPS INTO ENGLAND

Now they're saying a man can't torment his neighbor with a fart machine.

(Thanks to DavCat14, who also sends interesting links about Irish road bowling and octopus dumplngs.)

June 25, 2006

TERRORISM UPDATE

Now the bastards are using cows to chase people into bogs.

(Thanks to DavCat14)

A SIGN OF THE APOCALYSPE, AND A GOOD NAME FOR A BAND

Pelicans on Acid

(Thanks to many people)

WORLD CUP UPDATE

So on ABC they're showing some drunken Dutch fans (if that is not redundant) and one of them is holding a replica of the World Cup. So the TV guy asks him, "Is that real gold?" And the guy answers, "Yes! I am crazy from Holland!"

June 24, 2006

AN EXAMPLE OF INFLATION

(Thanks to Addicted to 24)

June 23, 2006

HUH

(Thanks to leetie)

AND THEY WERE THIS CLOSE TO LETTING HIM GO

Saddam caves in.

(Thanks to Charlie Law)

WE HARDLY KNEW YE, WHAT WITH THE SHELL

 Harriet is gone.

(Thanks to guin)

THE NEWS FROM ORONO

It is deeply disturbing.

NEIGHBOR OF THE WEEK

That neighborhood needs to bring in this fun couple.

(Thanks to Doug Boeringer)

DISAPPOINTING HEADLINE OF THE DAY

(Thanks to Stephen Clayton)

JAPANESE INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEO OF THE DAY

With a special guest appearance by... Mr. Hanky!

(Thanks to Tabitha Sanborn)

CAN YOU HEAR ME AAAACCKK

(Via Gizmodo)

RUN THEM OVER WITH TANKS

A call for the Australian army to fight... toads.

SERIOUS HEAT FANS STRIKE BACK

Your article this morning was very upsetting and so unfair to all of the loyal heat fans.
I for one have not missed a game.  Win or lose.  Do I go to the Arena?  No.  Do I have a beautiful T.V. and a nice comfortable chair to watch it?  Yes. 
Why you wanted to put ice water on such a great day for Miami I don't know.
I do hope that none of our wonderful team read your article because it is not true.
I get the paper at the door and the first place I look is the sports page.  I have so many friends and office mates that are also Heat fanatics....win....lose....or draw...
Over 500 of us at a prayer service at the end of last season said a prayer for Alonzo's continued health.
I think you owe your town an apology....
A loyal Heat Fan
Loretta deVries


I totally agree with Mrs. Loretta De Vries why would any one especially a sports writer say something like this unless you want to stir up controversy and get a little name “name recognition” and some face time

I have been a growing Heat fan for the last three years !!!!!!!!!!!!!

Go to another city

Scott Sichak


EMAIL

It's a mixed bag.

(Thanks to Mollenkamp and Russell Mc)

CRIME REPORT

Looks like the notorious Cleaning Products Exchange Gang has struck again.

(Also thanks to DavCat14)

MOST ALARMING SCIENCE DISCOVERY OF THE WEEK SO FAR

This can't be good.

(Thanks to DavCat14)

WE WANT ONE

The Goo Shooter

(Thanks to Warren Anderson)

BULLETIN BULLETIN BULLETIN

HMMM

ATTENTION, WISCONSIN MOTORISTS

Look out for the commode seats.

June 22, 2006

BE THERE, OR BE... OK, BE SOMEWHERE ELSE

(Thanks to Lori)

THEY CALL IT A "FROLIC"

We call it terrorist-training Squirrel Fu.

(Thanks to Schadeboy)

THAT SUCKING SOUND YOU HEAR?

That would be Florida.

(Thanks to Susy Cruz)

HEY, SOUTH FLORIDA FANS

This is for you.

SUPERMARKET TIP FOR THE DAY

No matter how long the other cashier lines are, never, ever, ever, EVER get behind a person who is using coupons to purchase cat food. EVER EVER.

This has been your Supermarket Tip for the Day.

UPDATE: EVER.

GEEK FASHION

it does not get much better than this.

(Via Gizmodo)

HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

ADVISORY TO DINERS IN TURKEY

Pass on the shish kebab.

WORLD CUP

I would hate for anybody to not be paying full attention to work today, but: The US plays Ghana this morning in a game that the US must win to have any real hope of continuing in the tournament. At the same time, Italy plays the Czech Republic; the US also needs Italy to win that one. (I know these things because Mrs. Blog is in Germany, covering the World Cup. She has also sampled the beer, which she reports is excellent.) So if you have any rooting mojo to spare today, beam it toward our guys and the Italians. Especially our guys, because they need all the help they can get.

Hey... Do you think Dwyane Wade plays soccer?

June 21, 2006

TERRORISM UPDATE

Now the bastards are using baboons to steal British flags.

(Thanks to Jeff Meyerson)

IF YOU SEE JUST ONE INSTRUCTIONAL VIDEO DESIGNED TO TEACH JAPANESE SPEAKERS, VIA AEROBICS INSTRUCTORS, WHAT TO SAY WHEN THEY ARE BEING ROBBED BY TWO ENGLISH-SPEAKING MEN, ONE OF WHOM IS WEARING HIS HEAD BANDANA BACKWARD

...make it this one.

(Thanks to Mr. Gene Weingarten)

WHOA

A Peephole Reverse Tactical Door Viewer.

(Via Gizmodo)

BUT DID THEY HAVE A WARRANT?

(Thanks to many people)

MASSACHUSETTS

...a state unafraid to tackle the issues.

(Thanks to CoastRaven)

UPDATE ON THE ATTACK CAT FROM HELL

(Thanks to TC K)

FLORIDA DRIVER'S LICENSE UPDATE

Whoa. They're getting strict.

(Thanks to Michael M. Ester)

DAY OF THE DAY

(Thanks to Collins69)

 
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