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June 29, 2006

MAURY POVICH: A COMPLETE TWIT JOURNALIST FOR OUR TIME

Maury tackles an important issue.

(Thanks to Mr. Gene Weingarten)

Comments

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My sister had an aquintance whose nickname was pickle ever since they played truth or dare.

ha ha ha ha

I'm sorry - is it rude to laugh at other's phobias?

I just wonder why girls would dare another one to take Pickle as a nickname?

I don't have sound on my (work) computer so all I kept hearing in my mind was Dane Cook doing his stand-up about working in a fast food joint "and I want the pickles, the pickles, ooh the pickles..."

And I thought the guy who could eat but not swallow because of a mental condition was the weirdest case I had ever seen.

Pity the boyfriend that shows up with a green colored condom.

Mr. Weingarten? Exactly what bit of pickle lore were you researching when you found that?

doesnt he have a staff who suggest topics? maybe they were all out sick that day.

I wonder if you blurt out pickel related words if she jumps.....

"GERKIN!!!!"

The site is blocked. Dammit!

Doesn't it seem kinda mean to chase the girl around the studio with huge platters of pickles? I mean, its a silly phobia, but he was kinda picking on her. Anybody see the You Tube of Connie Chung singing on top of the piano? Its especially funny when she tries to get off said piano and you hear her pant and grunt while still trying to sing.

No wonder Connie Chung left MSNBC - she wants to help Maury cover the hard-hitting issues the news networks don't want you to know about.

She must be fun on a date.

Does this relate to items shaped like pickles? If so I guess her love life is kinda slow. Either that or she really loves sausage and it evens out.

"Lots of kids don't like pickles, but they don't do this -- (*gestures toward her shaking feet and her sobbing*) -- stop it! You've got to get over this - Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!"

Hi! I'm Bob the tomato, and I'm here to help.

I could only take about 30 seconds of that. Wow. How grating!

I havve a brother who was afraid of fruit, would run away if we came near him with a banana, but he was never that bad. It was always fun to hide fruit in his bed in retaliation for something he'd done. When he found the fruit he'd scream until someone took it away and changed his sheets. He grew out of it when he was about 10.

"I wanna throw up. What I hate most is the shape..."

So, a virgin then?

Hey Sarah, you're lucky your brother didn't know Self-Defense Against Fresh Fruit or you'd really have been in trouble!

But where does she stand on the issue of cucumbers? Is it dill she's really upset about? Lazy reporting I tell ya.

Seems like she could have chosen a career other than waitress, but I guess all the positions for screaming ninny were taken.

THAT'S why women run screaming from the room when I use the "wanna tickle my pickle?" come on line. It's a PHOBIA.

Right?

Right?

You go right on thinkin' that, Blurker.
I'm glad I'm not the only one who thinks her problems might be more phallic related than culinary!

This reminds me of the Everybody Loves Ray episode...Robert the older brother always touched food to his chin before he ate it, and they were all trying to figure out why and when it started.

Frank, the father, said he took Robert to his lodge and everyone fed him pickles from the jar on the bar...only those pickles had been there since 1952 and Robert vomited copiously, much to the amusement of the lodge folks.

"At least now we know why Robert screams at pickles" his wife Amy says, drily.

I prefer zuchinni over pickles. In SO many ways.

*did I say that out loud?*

Maury needs a "real" life. Dave, maybe you can coach him on the etiquettes of humor. I wanted to throw up at this video. Yuk!

punkin- you mean like in cake? Cause zuchinni cake would be WAY better than pickle cake, or even bread for that matter.

ha ha, that fun-lovin Maury. What a sweet, sensitive, caring kina guy.

Glad she was arrested and in trial with the most famous Okie of the week, Penis Pump Judge!!!

btw - please DO NOT judge all Okies by that man. Some of us are kinda normal.

Maury: Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!

sheesh .. I dunno what was more grating, Brainy. The fact that Maury took this pickle-phobic to a pickle factory to shock her and then yelled "Stop it!" ad nauseum, or the gal's whining.

Think how easy it would be for Jack Bauer to get information out of her ...
Jack, whispering: "Pickle for your thoughts, Missy."
*leans in really close to her face with a kosher dill*
Girl, screaming in terror: "AUGH! Okay, Okay, Okay ... I'll talk! Take it away, ohpleaseohplease, just get it away from me!"
*Jack shoots her in the thigh anyway*
*ratings soar*

Maury was just trying to compete with Tyra Banks, who recently devoted a full hour of her show to facing her own personal fear of....dolphins.

It was not pretty.

Hm too bad I missed that. Wait, doesn't everyone love dolphins? They're so cute and cuddly, and smarter than your average American...

I used to know people in college who used to make up ridiculous things about themselves in order to try to get onto talk shows like this.

I'm sorry, but being in the medical profession, phobias can be debilatating. Yes, pickles might be as wierd as they come but to her they are as real as someone afraid of snakes, or spiders, or whatever. Phobias are by definition irrational. So cut the girl some slack. And good job to Maury by trying to get her to overcome her fear by chasing her around the audience with a pickle. That's one they never taught us in med school.

I don't want a pickle
just wanna ride on my motorsickle

That's all she's sayin'

Boy, am I pi$$ed!! Last time I chased a girl around with MY pickle they took me to jail.

Fear of snakes and spiders is VERY rational.

Spiders, snakes and venetian blinds. 'nodding'

anon - I think that's what part of our comments address - the total heartlessness of Maury. Or at least that's what I meant. It made me sick to see him haul her to a pickle factory and then yell, "Stop it! You have to get over this!" at her.

If it had been a dog who was afraid of thunderstorms, would people find it as funny to torment the animal with loud noises?

Still think Maury was kinda mean. Apparently the girl sitting next to pickle girl was scared of mustard. Wonder how he tortured her?

MOTW: If it had been a dog who was afraid of thunderstorms, would people find it as funny to torment the animal with loud noises?

Yes.

You all are forgetting that the idiot chose to go on television and foolishly admit to the whole wide world her irrational and quite weird picklephobia. She deserved what she got. Plus I hear she was awarded a life-time supply of pickles from the show (for her, probably about 0) so it all worked out.

Pickle!

Hey, no matter how smart they may be, a DOLPHIN ain't nothin but a big grey pickle! AIEEEEEEEE! AIEEEEEEEEE!

This whole post reminds me of the phrase "I'm in a pickle"
How exactly does one get in a pickle?

Old joke (supposedly true) from H. Allen Smith ... about a Hollywood producer (Samuel Goldwyn? P'haps) ... who couldn't remember the classic formula for movie story lines, so he created his own ...

Boy meets girl.

Get the girl in a pickle.

Get the pickle in the girl ...

(Some geezers can mebbe help me out with anything I've forgotten ...)

Some people will do or say anything to
get on TV - sheesh!

I hate pickles, too!

*NOT FUNNY ALERT*

24-aholic: Yes, it is (because I have basically the same problem and I can't even write the word, or read it or hear it, without feeling physically nauseated - so I've skipped most of the comments).

Not that I would ever go on Maury, but you can't have this issue without it being known by everyone who has ever eaten around you.

Every freakin' restaurant in the world serves them next to sandwiches, and they never listen when I tell them I DON'T WANT IT. A life spent sending food back to the kitchen because you're nauseated, or not ordering a sandwich even though you really want one because you can tell from the getgo that the server isn't listening. The worst, though, is when the menu doesn't say it will be there and your lunch comes out and...there it is. So I've learned to say it everywhere, and I now say it like this: "This is EXTREMELY important. NO PICKLES. You could bring me beef when I order chicken, and as long as nobody puts a pickle within 100 feet of my plate, I will not care."

So you get over the weirdness in order to KEEP THEM AWAY. It seriously is a physical reaction (imagine trying to eat while not being able to smell anything but sweaty feet, and you might get the idea of what it's like).

Like some others have said, it's the arbitrary meanness of Maury that's the issue here. What a jack@ss.

Certainly a weird phobia, but it makes one question where it comes from. Her reaction seems to be one of true fear. To take things to a completely un-funny level, I rather wonder whether she was abused in some way; there are some sick bastards out there.

Embalmer's license plate:

I PKL PPL

"Spiders, snakes and venetian blinds. 'nodding'"
SSSSSNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKK
LBFF, That is awesome.

Re: Cecilia's comment about "sick bastards out there." That was my very first thought. Someone did something nasty with that particular item to this girl as a small child, and she's revolted by them now.... that's one possibility. Or she got really sick as a small child.. maybe she ate a whole jar at one sitting or something. Maury should be shot. He shouldn't be allowed The guest is either a a) really good actress or b) truly afraid and Maury was beyond cruel with the way he dealt with her.

You know, when I started watching I assumed he would have a psychologist of some kind there to explain about phobias and how they need to be taken seriously, etc. but instead we just see Maury tormenting the poor girl in front of everyone. What was the point of that? Ratings, I know, but does Maury have to be such a rating whore?

And the poor mustard girl just broke down the second he said the word mustard. What did he do to her, do you think?

This is certainly not the way to confront a phobia. You need to be in an environment where you feel safe, and you need to have supportive, understanding people around you. I'm getting there slowly with my fear of heights, but it actually makes it worse again when people are cruel like this. My mother keeps inviting me to things that are high up. She took me to a concert, and failed to mention it was on the mezanine, right at the front, and the only thing between myself and a 3 story drop was a "wall" that didn't even clear my knee. She took me to a baseball game and got seats waaaaaaaaaaay up in the nosebleed section, right up in the very back. I felt like I was going to throw up the whole time and had to hold my arm rests and close my eyes half the time to keep from passing out.

But when I'm around people who understand and care about my phobia, and I'm not put in a position where I feel exposed, vulnerable, and in life-threatening danger, then I take the opportunity to take a small step closer to the edge, maybe peer a little downward.

more info about the hypnotist in the Maury fears and phobia series at http://www.comedywood.com

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