DAWN OF THE HYPERCAFFEINATED FREAKS
(Thanks to Emily, Via Mark)
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June 19, 2006
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I'll have some of what they're having.
Posted by: havingaball | June 19, 2006 at 05:25 PM
Someone please describe the picture. My IT squirrels won't let it through.
Posted by: blurkernomore | June 19, 2006 at 05:27 PM
Wow!
Posted by: MrBill | June 19, 2006 at 05:33 PM
blukernomore - there are super imposed images of shining blond people who sing an annoying song titled "Happy Morning" ad nauseum to the real people who are sleeping or sleepy.
At the end, one of the real people goes to his automatic drip pot which has finished making Floggers coffee. As the shiny superimposed people sing and clap behind his chair, he sips from his mug and begins to tap his finger in rhythm against his mug.
The viewer is left to ponder whether this real person will now become one of the shiny overhypersupercaffeinated choir members.
It's better this way - you don't have to bleach your eyeballs and eardrums.
Posted by: MOTW | June 19, 2006 at 05:34 PM
Thanks a LOT, Emily. /sarcasm
Posted by: MOTW | June 19, 2006 at 05:35 PM
Blurk, Imaging if the 70's happy-band Up With People did a coffee commercial, imaging happy singing, imaging perky smiling faces, imaging hung over twentysomethings mowing them down with AK-47s and chainsaws. That's pretty much it. Except for the part about AK-47s and chainsaws, that's my imagination.
Posted by: random thunking | June 19, 2006 at 05:35 PM
The punch line is
Wake up, wake up, you can sleep when you are dead.
*eye roll*
Posted by: Eleanor | June 19, 2006 at 05:36 PM
I kept waiting for a large Monty Python foot to crush the blonde dweeblets.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 19, 2006 at 05:38 PM
i would not even consider advocating violence in any form. really.
but if these people come to my house, well,
i'll wish i had a machine gun
Posted by: rickh | June 19, 2006 at 05:38 PM
uh-oh...is that an earwig I hear? Argh!
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 19, 2006 at 05:39 PM
Thanks MOTW and RT. If I had happy/perky/supercaffeinated people in my house before MY coffee AKs and chainsaws would certainly become involved.
Posted by: blurkernomore | June 19, 2006 at 05:40 PM
See as how they are superimposed perky people, they may not be susceptible to chainsaws.
Might I suggest a long and hearty fart in their general direction?
Posted by: MOTW | June 19, 2006 at 05:45 PM
see = seeing
(no, thank you, I don't need more caffeine)
Posted by: MOTW | June 19, 2006 at 05:46 PM
*SNORK* at MOTW...you're killin' me here.
Posted by: blurkernomore | June 19, 2006 at 05:51 PM
Field Reporter: Chief, if I were surrounded by eight or ten of these things, would I stand a chance with them?
Sheriff McClelland: Well, there's no problem. If you have a gun, shoot 'em in the head. That's a sure way to kill 'em. If you don't, get yourself a club or a torch. Beat 'em or burn 'em. They go up pretty easy.
(with apologies to Night of the Living Dead)
Posted by: Mike Antonucci | June 19, 2006 at 05:52 PM
Eeeep. As if the AOL cancellation call wasn't enough.
Why must you torture us so, on a Monday no less?
Posted by: scat | June 19, 2006 at 05:52 PM
Can I superimposedly-open a hefty can of WHOOPASS on those glow-worms??? Please?
*goes to drive a nail into eye just for relief*
Posted by: Punkin Poo | June 19, 2006 at 05:55 PM
Is this the Shiny Happy People REM were singing about?
I'll never be able to listen to that song again without quaking in terror...
Posted by: clark kent | June 19, 2006 at 05:57 PM
Mike, that quote's perfect. Perhaps this one also applies:
Field Reporter (Bill "Chilly Billy Cardilly" Cardille, then host of Pittsburgh's late Saturday night horror film double feature): Are they slow-moving, chief?
Sheriff McClelland: Yeah, they're dead. They're all messed up.
Posted by: scat | June 19, 2006 at 05:58 PM
I have absolutely no interest in coffee that turns me into one of those. I'll stick with cranky and slightly oblivious, thank you.
Thank goodness I drink organic coffee. I'm sure they're a result of heavy pesticide use.
Posted by: Sallyacious | June 19, 2006 at 06:03 PM
Oh. My. Freakin'. Heck.
Posted by: Sarah J | June 19, 2006 at 06:04 PM
"It's dead, Jim. But it's very perky."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 19, 2006 at 06:09 PM
My TV will be "sleeping" pretty soon if that commercial appears on it.
Posted by: Ann | June 19, 2006 at 06:09 PM
I'm with the dog...
GGRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!
Posted by: diverdowndoc | June 19, 2006 at 06:10 PM
I just realized (blame my undercaffinated state) those ghastly singing yellow freakazoids are supposed to be sunbeams.
Posted by: Sallyacious | June 19, 2006 at 06:29 PM
*sings about being a sunbeam, popping up at beam*
*realizes most people won't understand this*
*posts it anyway*
Posted by: Sarah J | June 19, 2006 at 06:31 PM
Y'all are just missing the point.
The shiny happy joy joy people are the manifestation of the morning. Notice that any time the sunshine would be seen, there they are, annoying, way too bright and in your face.
One of the creepier scenes where this shiny guy's face is hovering over the poor guy in bed, is supposed to be when the sun shines in your window and slowly creeps down to hit you right in the side of the head, again rather annoyingly.
The tag line at the end is the key, "Tolerate morning".
It was clear to me, I think because I like wierd art and funky images. So hey, throw me a melting dog spinning in space made out of spaghetti and legoes and I am all over that.
Posted by: Prairie Dog | June 19, 2006 at 06:33 PM
PD - we got it, alas we find the delivery more irritating than the message.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 19, 2006 at 06:36 PM
One more reason to be nocturnal.
Posted by: scat | June 19, 2006 at 06:38 PM
Awwww
I liked it. It was different, kinda catchy in an annoying way and I could identify with the victims. I am certain I will never see it on tv.
Posted by: Prairie Dog | June 19, 2006 at 06:41 PM
I dunno, they seem pretty mainstream to me.
Posted by: Jazzzz | June 19, 2006 at 06:46 PM
I am scared....
Posted by: julietin | June 19, 2006 at 06:47 PM
Ok, PD, you got me with the 'awwww.' It WAS different. I was just imagining some Kreatives at Chiat Day getting up on their high horsies....
...and of course, the potential for earwig infection.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 19, 2006 at 06:48 PM
my roommate's response:
"someone was paid to make that?!?!"
Posted by: Sarah J | June 19, 2006 at 06:48 PM
I dunno...
I kinda liked it. Prairie Dog nailed it.
Posted by: rundogrun - an Ad guy | June 19, 2006 at 06:56 PM
Please tell me this isn't real. I need to have more confidence in my fellow humans that they would never, ever, in all seriousness make this as a commercial.
Posted by: muffles | June 19, 2006 at 07:00 PM
If I haven't had my (not Folger's) coffee, cheerful yellow people will be slapped.
Posted by: Kafaleni | June 19, 2006 at 07:02 PM
Juan Valdez needs to make a commercial with his donkey kicking the daylights out of one of these shiny gold tweakers.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 19, 2006 at 07:03 PM
Ok, someone check if rundogrun, prairie & jazz are glowing.
And if Jack (if you say "Jack who?" you will be shot in the thigh)had some of these nuclear perkizoids on his team, the Chinese would all fall on their swords. Or is that the Japanese? Oh well, their cannisters all look alike to me.
Posted by: Punkin Poo | June 19, 2006 at 07:04 PM
Wait...didn't the Oompah Loompahs glow a little???? Is this evolution????
Posted by: Punkin Poo | June 19, 2006 at 07:05 PM
Muffles.. I think a lot of commercials aren't made for us, they're made for ad award campaigns. This one, sadly, would probably win something
Posted by: Kafaleni | June 19, 2006 at 07:06 PM
Passing on the Folger's from now on - I'll pay the $4 a cup for Starbucks to keep the happy morning crew away and me out of jail for mass murder.
Posted by: hd4mtns | June 19, 2006 at 07:11 PM
Haha, I think its done an excellent job of being irritating. However, just that they used the phrase, "wake up, get out of bed, you can sleep when you are dead" probably puts into the category of non-playable. I don't think I have ever heard death of people ever used in a commercial before. Well, maybe for a movie.
You are all safe from the shiny happy sunshine people, at least ... for now. (jarring chord)
Posted by: Prairie Dog | June 19, 2006 at 07:27 PM
i will never buy coffee again.
Posted by: pepe | June 19, 2006 at 07:36 PM
They were like teletubbies on acid.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 19, 2006 at 07:40 PM
Just a guess, but could the yellow mutants be The Polyphonic Spree? I really hope not, but that non-stop perky dancing has me worried.
(And I can't shake that "music" out of my head!)
Posted by: PirateBoy | June 19, 2006 at 07:59 PM
They were like teletubbies on acid.
*snork*
Exactly, Annie.
If I had to watch that in the morning before coffee I would definitely have to hurt someone.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | June 19, 2006 at 08:00 PM
ooh... teletubbies in acid? What kind? Hydrochloric? Sulfuric?
Oh, wait. Damnit. and yes.
I watched it again in case I was missing a subtle nuance anywhere. Apparently there are no subtle nuances..
Posted by: Kafaleni | June 19, 2006 at 08:00 PM
If "Happy morning" doesn't stop going through my brain I AM going to hurt someone...myself. I'm going to get my hammer right now.
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | June 19, 2006 at 08:01 PM
It's lunchtime now.. I've had my morning quota of coffee and they're STILL annoying. Is it me or is it everyone?
Posted by: Kafaleni | June 19, 2006 at 08:01 PM
*makes another coffee, just in case it is me*
(Robert Harris Colombian blend - no shiny happpy teletubbies, just hungover, caffeine addicted humans)
Posted by: Kafaleni | June 19, 2006 at 08:04 PM
OK Annie, just how do we know what teletubbies on acid look like? Would it be any different than their normal behavior? How about teletubbies on banana splits?
Posted by: Jazzzz | June 19, 2006 at 08:07 PM
Jazzzz - this ad kept my attention solely because I fully expected someone - the dog, the sleeping guy, anyone- to retaliate against these inhumane bearers of unwanted happiness. That's how I felt watching the teletubbies. I tolerated them for my kids' sake, but I truly wanted a rottweiler to shred their colorful intestines all over their sunshiny park.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 19, 2006 at 08:13 PM
mmmmm... coffee...
I don't know if it's a plus or a minus that the theme tune seems to have replaced my previous earwig ("Why Can't The English Teach Their Children How To Speak?" from "My Fair Lady")
Nope.. on reflection - definitely a minus
Posted by: Kafaleni | June 19, 2006 at 08:14 PM
Sorry about your ear worm, Kaf.
Posted by: Sarah J | June 19, 2006 at 08:31 PM
The earwig!! It kills!!
Posted by: almne | June 19, 2006 at 08:36 PM
Sarah.. it won't open or download for me! It's okay.. I have it on VHS somewhere if I need a refresher!
Posted by: Kafaleni | June 19, 2006 at 08:48 PM
Annie W-B-H...... it's clear to me now. That is quite a pleasant vision you describe.
Posted by: Jazzzz | June 19, 2006 at 08:50 PM
With a nod to Punkin Poo, I believe we have identified next season's Evil Masterminds. Can't wait to see Jack mow 'em down!
Posted by: Nora | June 19, 2006 at 08:55 PM
In the very worst of my bad trips, I have never, ever seen anything that made me want to claw my eyes out quite as much as this did.
Posted by: Kim F. | June 19, 2006 at 09:02 PM
Clearly, this advert is indicating that the coffee has the same mind alteringn effects as LSD as the formerly sleepy and annoyed-with-reason person actually starts to bop along to the grating (and I use this term VERY loosely) 'music'. Just say no people.
Posted by: KOW | June 19, 2006 at 10:25 PM
KOW.. it's too late.. I'm an addict. I simply don't believe that there's any help for me. Or if there is, I don't want to know about it.
Posted by: Kafaleni | June 19, 2006 at 10:37 PM
*zips in*
I love the
Teletubbies. They're adorable. How could anyone not like them? (rhetorical, please don't answer)
*zips out*
Posted by: Eleanor | June 19, 2006 at 10:54 PM
Teletubbies on acid? You mean Boobahs?
Posted by: scat | June 19, 2006 at 11:22 PM
Ahem. Boobahs.
Posted by: scat | June 19, 2006 at 11:27 PM
scat - I think that might be the new productivity enhancer. I know that I've been enhanced by Boobahs.
Posted by: monkeyshines | June 19, 2006 at 11:52 PM
Several of the participants in this oeuvre are New Zealanders. I'm thinking maybe this wasn't meant to woo the likes of us, but rather for the slightly wackier NZ crowd...?
Posted by: Betsy | June 19, 2006 at 11:59 PM
maybe the ad agency should hire people who can pass the drug test.
Posted by: tarzina | June 20, 2006 at 12:49 AM
Scat: Boobahs! I was thinking the same thing. My children and I watched it once, mesmerized, waiting to see it start to make sense. But then the show was finally over. It never did make sense.
"Dude. Whow." Indeed.
Posted by: Andrew | June 20, 2006 at 02:10 AM
Betsy - I've seen boohbahs - sadly, they're here... on our tv.
Teletubbies - UK
Boohbahs - NZ
The Wiggles - Australia
Thank you SO much, British Empire
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | June 20, 2006 at 02:13 AM
On behalf of everyone in New Zealand, I apologise for the Boobahs. Also for the Party Animals, if you ever have to watch them.
Posted by: Kafaleni | June 20, 2006 at 03:18 AM
Also, I'll apologise for The Go Show if someone apologises for Blues Clues.
Posted by: Kafaleni | June 20, 2006 at 03:30 AM
Looks like a cult to me...terrible hair! LOL...reminds me of what I would see during my college days....very scary.
Posted by: christysmom97 | June 20, 2006 at 07:13 AM
Does anyone else have that damn song stuck in their head now? HAPPY MORNING!!!
BTW, I work with all those freaks. Kill me now, please.
Posted by: Antonio | June 20, 2006 at 07:21 AM
Mrs. Olsson, we need you now more than ever...
Posted by: JT | June 20, 2006 at 08:59 AM
Sadly of all the productivity enhancers Dave and Judi have posted it is this post by scat that I do the best with. I'm a pretty unproductive person.
Posted by: monkeyshines | June 20, 2006 at 09:20 AM
Can't see the video, can't see the freaks, happy to not have annoying song stuck in my head.
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | June 20, 2006 at 11:39 AM
Mike & scat: "Send more paramedics."
Posted by: Layzeeboy | June 20, 2006 at 12:45 PM
Annie WBH:
Inhumane Bearers of Unwanted Happiness would bagnfarb.
And really, Rottweillers are usually very nice dogs. But, yeah- every dog has his breaking point.
Posted by: Targetgirl | June 20, 2006 at 03:17 PM
If anyone at Folgers had actually authorized this commercial for television play, I would say that the DEA should be paying more attention to what they're shipping in their coffee.
Posted by: rhealist | June 20, 2006 at 06:41 PM
Tolerate Mornings?
Riiiiiiiiiiight.
If this commercial is accurate, we should try not to commit hari kiri in the morning.
Posted by: smoochykat | June 21, 2006 at 12:11 AM
They have had way too much coffee.
Posted by: Dr. Doug | June 21, 2006 at 10:39 AM
Dave deserves a special circle of AOL hell for posting that.
I'm afraid the "You can sleep when you are dead" tagline is going to be the 2006 equivalent of Wendy's "Where's the beef?" back in the 80s.
Posted by: This Won't Hurt A Bit | June 23, 2006 at 09:12 AM