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June 30, 2006


They abound.

(Thanks to DavCat14)


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Thankfully, I have never seen Uranus or anyone else's.

Kibby, I was SOOOOO not expecting you to say Saturn....

*turns jello hose on her own mind and washes it outta the gutter*


Leetie! How did you know!?
*grabs pretzels and pop* (yes ppl, I said POP!)
*snarfs them down*

'scuse me

Brother's family almost didn't get a Christmas gift that year ....

Sorry DDi .... NOT!

I say "pop"

I bought Weasel a pair of boxers that has the milkyway galaxy on the back side and a big arrow pointing to a tiny planet saying Uranus is here.

We got them at the stargazer bed and breakfast where we saw Saturn and Jupiter and several moons. Have not seen Uranus (other than the one on the boxers)

I wanted to take this time to remind you all that I am a vagina friendly Moatie.

Oh lookie......something shiny this way comes


I say soda.

JU said that when he was living in Georgia, they'd say coke, and "What kind of coke you want?"

Although, I don't call machines that dispense such beverages soda machines. I call them coke machines.

That's how it was in Texas too Leetie, I had an argument at a restaurant once with a waiter when he asked me what would I have to drink and I said coke and he said what kind and I said coke and he said ok, what kind and I said COKE! And he said, OK, WHAT KIND!? And my date said "You'll have to excuse her, she's from Chicago".


For the record, that night was the night I switched to wodka...


but did you snort it? the vvodka i mean, not the waiter.

also, Leets, I'm calling you out. CHALLENGE!
I beg to differ that you haven't an an us.

I know personally, I had a conference with one just before lunch.

Sorta left a bad taste in my mouth

do me a favor and gently insert seen up there in front of your an us.

No, didnt snort it. That became the fad long after my days...

*hops on geezer bus*

Ok, I might have seen my daughter's anus once. *giggle* And the dog's. Ok. Maybe I've seen a few anii in my time. But I still haven't seen any of youranus.

Reminds me of an SNL Celebrity Jeopardy skit. Sean Connery says, "I'll take Jap Anus Relations for $200." The category is Japan US Relations. Another one: Sean Connery says, "I'll take Anal Bum cover for $7000!" The category is An Album Cover. *snickering*


was that a haiku?

Overheard in Times Square yesterday (how we found out Spitzer had resigned): "The new one is black and blind."

(These were two black guys talking, btw.)

A haiku?!?!

And a Fish Haiku at that?!?!

Two rarely seen items on the Moat these days.

actually the "pop" scene is like that here too.

I was trying to sound refined.

waitress: and to drink?
me: I'll have a coke.
waitress: What kind?
me: pepsi.

top 5 greatest one liners

I'll start

"does barry manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?"

in related news.... Leetie reminds of Sheedy.... In a totally hot 80's kinda way.

I'd kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.

2. As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.

Hey Fish, want a turkey sammich??

p.s. I've seen The Vagina Monologues.

And yes, I can see the Sheedy/Leetie resemblance. :)

immediately. i have a pretty healthy appetite and i've never met a sammich i didn't like. even the lousiest ones were still pretty good.

4. Did you know Lana Turner's eyebrows never grew back?


sammiches are the best

From NYTimes movie reviews:
"What distinguishes “Horton Hears a Who!” from the other recent Dr. Seuss film adaptations is that it is not one of the worst movies ever made."


Ok so spring is here and it is time to begin planning the Annual Vegas Invasion. Can you believe this will be number 5?!!!!

A bit of history for the new folks:
On April 14, 2004 many bloggers complained to Dave of the blog clock being 1 hour off. Dave responded with a mighty snork the MOAT was born. Many in this community had the desire to meet up in person. Some met in small groups at book signings. Some even went dressed as pirates and fell in love. Some craved meeting even more kindred spirits and sought out their great leader President Barry. His Majesty Barry was creating spewage in Las Vegas at the AARP convention. Many thought to make the journey, but few dared. The brave few were smart enough to sit in the water spewing row and not in front of the spewers. And on that day in October of 2004 an annual pilgrimage began. The faithful return every October to drink heavily and laugh heartily.

So if you are interested in laughing along with others please send me an email and let me know which weekend in October will work best for you. All bloglits, family and friends are welcome.

Wow! We're coming up on our 4-year MOATiversary?!?!

Funny you should mention the Ally Sheedy thing. I never saw it until JU said something about it. Now I get freaked out at this picture of her because I totally see me. Well, maybe 10 years ago me. Notsomuch now me. I had that haircut, and certainly have my fair share of big black eyebrows and pointy chin... ;)

5. Well, let's not start sucking each other's d!cks quite yet. (Pulp Fiction)

A good pun is its own reword.

Leetie, since you said it I can totally see the (slight) resemblance.

I like Ally Sheedy. She's a real New Yorker.

Mad, you know Jackie wants to go to Vegas as usual but we might have to make it the last week in the month if that is doable for you. We're going to the big annual mystery convention (in Baltimore this year) and it is October 9-12.

Annual mystery convention? Ooh, that sounds awesome! What's that for, Jeff (pardon my ignorance)?

Vegas is someplace I'd love to visit again, but I have NO idea what finances will be then. Besides, being such a newbie.... :)

I've noticed the Ally thing...glad to see I'm not the only one.

I'd love to go to Vegas...but barring a total change in my life, I don't see that happening.

Besides, the way things are going here, we'd be working on getting a tv station going here.

*faints at the thought*

If wishes were horses..........

Spitzer? I don't even know her.

*admits that came from Allen Kalter on Letterman*

happy Pi day

Pi song!

Happy 3.14159 Day!

You ever notice (oh, sorry, good morning)...you ever notice how all the morning shows seem to do the same stories the same day, often at the same time?

This morning everyone started out with foreclosures, high gas prices, high wheat prices, and the generally crappy state of the economy.

One exception was our local Fox station, which decided to go their own way, with All Hookers All The Time.

*zips in*


I'd like banana cream please, to go with my coffee - NOW!

I always think that Pi Day is really insom day.

Beware tomorrow.

Insom uch as it has to do with numbers.....

it always reminds me of hair

(vegas sounds so deliciously doable, but put me in the "if wishes were fishes" group)

Semi-annual reminder: Support your local public radio (and television) station! If you don't have a favorite, then tune in to WNKU online. (And go "ooo" and "ahhh" over the awesomeness of the banner at the top of the page!)

wow I actually did all three of those things.


Lab- during your vast studies, have you noticed a direct correlation between hair loss and increased intelligence? (I'm pullin mine out and I'm hoping there's at least an upside. Other that having women wax it of course)

The cigarette lighter thing doesn't work for you, Fish?

Cigarette lighter thing? Do I want to know? Or is that something better left unknown?

yeah, what cigarette lighter thing?

*innocent look*

ok, so i'm not very good at that.

That is one smoking hot banner! Da-yum!

Good morning everybody.

*smoooches everybody who will hold still*

Fish? An innocent look? Yep, I'm not falling for that.

Someone wrapped Saran-wr@p (tm thingie) around an SUV in our parking garage.


and -- Where was Security>!?!?!

Eating donuts?


Taking pictures?

we saran rapped (yo yo yo) a fellow's car once on his last day of work and yet another annoying fellow to a large metal beam in the warehouse.

that stuff is so useful.

*tries really hard to hold still*

ok, so, apparently I'm not very good at that either.

*Adds late entry to the one-liner derby*

3. Asked at a press conference if he had ever patronized a prostitute, like Mr. Spitzer, he [the soon-to-be governor of NY, David P@terson] paused, like any good humorist, and then said: “Only the lobbyists.” [from the NY Times]

I think I'm gonna like this guy.

Can I get my pi a la median, please?

That is hilarious, sly. *snork*

Blue, here's what else you STBGov said. Does this make you feel confident? ;) NYTimes: QUOTATION OF THE DAY

"I kind of feel like the student who’s getting ready for the final exam but they didn’t attend any classes."
DAVID A. PATERSON, who takes over as governor of New York on Monday.

He's pretty self-deprecating, El, but I hear he's a lot smarter than he lets on.

Although (as Jon Stewart pointed out) taking office on St. Patrick's Day might not have been the smartest choice. Or otherwise.

*tosses pants on Lab's lawn*

Susan, if you didn't get the lighter thing (or should that be lighted thing?) I'll send it to you.

Jeff, I didn't get the lighted lighter thing...that I remember anyway.

*tickles Fish to see if he'll hold still*

Aw, Susan. You're gonna make him wet himself!

trillian - that Pi song was truly disturbing.

Hey - know what Spitzer's favorite song is? "Love for Sale!"

You guys are so goofy. It doesn't matter to Canadians if their politicians pay hookers a lot of money. We LIKE it if they pay a lot because that means they weren't patronizing any of our kids, of which we have way too many on the street, and are therefore just keeping honest working girls off the welfare rolls. In order for any of our bright political lights to fizzle out they have to publicly declare that they believe that dinosaurs and humans occupied the earth at the same time. 'Cause, you know...that's just topical and pertinent. To all of us.

I'm watching 'Army of Darkness'. I love this movie.


(Yes, I just checked my email. If I had checked it earlier, I'd have seen it...but thank you [I think] to Jeff for sending it on anyway.)

(The I think is because I don't know that I really needed to see that. Yeeouch!)

I don't want to know what he was thinking. If anything.

We once parafilmed a coworkers car. Parafilm is like saranwrap, but wax based and really stretchy.

Colleen-If it was only a visit to a lady on the street he might have gotten away with it, but 10 years and $80,000 for "escorts" will definitely get you caught.

Mad - you are BRILLIANTLY devious! That's outstanding.

Jeff - what "lighter" thing? Or is this an old in-joke?

Mad, I have something I want to try with some parafilm. C'mon over here and hold this in your...well, in your hand if you're shy, in your mouth if you're not.

And then put on these chaps.

Just go with the flow, D.

Eleanor - you crack me up in a good way. =^D

Ok you Primitive Screwheads, listen up! You see this? This... is my boomstick! The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart. You got that?

Diva, check your mail.

Puts on chaps and stands at attention for Colleen

*pulls out ones*

*pays attention*

Is that what the kids are calling it these days, Fish? "ones"?

*has cash at the ready for Mad*

pretty sure El, I've been going to hip therapy for the last several months now.

I'd say it's really payin off.

It's money. G. uh, dog.

*goes back to filling his mouth with things other than words*

well, since no one is here, I'm spending my two-hundred and fourty dollars on something we're running low on around here.

Butt it's Friday !

Cook... and chill. Yeah, baby.

*zips in*

Good clips, Fish. I love Michael Ian Black. He's on all those VH1 I Love The 70s, 80s, etc.
And the puddin one is hilarious. Who are those guys?

Yesterday was almost hot here. (I blame Mr. Fisher.) Today the ground is covered in snow. I believe it is time to dive back into bed and huddle under my comforter.

It's gorgeous here, neo. We had a little rain overnight but it was 56 yesterday and nearly the same today. Tomorrow, relatively cold but no snow!

It's snowed up here in Northwest, Missouri also.

As we were sitting here eating lunch, I looked out in the pastures behind their house and said,d

"HEY! Where did the cattle go?"

Jenni said the other night at dinner, she wondered out loud where the cattle go in the winter; if they go to another pasture or something.

Tim looked down at his dinner, which was steak, then gave Jenni a meaningful look.

The Circle of Life for the Herd of Lesbian Cows.

Snow? We've had a tornado warning here this afternoon...heavy rain and some hail. I'm waiting to see what else the weather is going to do before I go home and finish the brisket I'm cooking.

We have had, other than one tiny light snow, no winter weather this year. That is so wrong.

We got into the mid 60s today. JU and I planted 150 pachysandra plants. *passes out* gaah! *wakes up* We're going out to see Adrian Belew tonight. The babysitter will be here in an hour. Better start drinking. Coke!

Man, some scary sh!t is going on. First two tornadoes hit Atlanta and amazingly no one is killed.

This afternoon one of those humongous cranes fell off a building at 2nd Avenue & 51st Street in Manhattan, killing at least 4 construction workers and totally destroying a four story brownstone underneath.

If you've been to NY lately you know contruction is everywhere. Jackie hates those cranes and made me cross the street just the other day to avoid walking under one.

I guess she was right.

Jeff, as you know I was in NYC recently and noticed all the construction. I read about this earlier. How tragic. It's the same thing in Miami. Everywhere you look, those cranes are UP. I hate it too.

Btw, I did have a wonderful time there. We visited two colleges. Pratt and SVA. My daughter LOVED Pratt. We're still waiting to hear from them. She got into SVA and the rest of the art schools she's applied to. I'm a proud Mom. We went to see a couple of Broadway shows - Young Frankenstein and In the Heights. Loved them both. Did some shopping. It was cold as heck though.

Jeff, I saw that. How HORRIBLE!!!

Construction is a PITA, but it's a good thing. Improvement, jobs, etc.

I agree, sly. Hey, how goes it? :)

Pratt? Yay, Brooklyn! That's a good school. I thought about applying there a century or so ago.

*warms up the geezer bus*

Also, I wish they could get some of the people putting up a gazillion condos to work on fixing the roads as the city is just not doing the job. I can't think of anywhere (though I'm sure other big cities can compete) with so many streets and highways in such miserable shape.

Jeff, the reason you have so many streets in bad shape is that you just have so many streets! I'm thinking of one little town I know where only three of the streets are a mess. Now, they only have three streets in town, but still.

What amazes me is how quickly the roads disintegrate. One week they are fine, and the next there are giant potholes. It's like the streets have an agreement; they all get together and say, "We can't work under these conditions! If it freezes and thaws just one more time, we're quitting!"

The Circle of Life for the Herd of Lesbian Cows.

Posted by: slyeyes | 02:21 PM on March 15, 2008

Now there's a topic....


Man, it was quiet here yesterday!

I hope a lot of you got to see the adaptation of David McCullough's John Adams on HBO last night. It was really, really well done.

Interestingly, not only were the actors playing Franklin and Jefferson English, but so was the director.

Oh, and what Kibby said.

Happy St. Pat's, all you O'MOATies. I was doing my usual completely robotic morning routine today and altogether forgot to wear anything green, though.

I read about that crane horror in NYC, and immediately flashed on the very same type of crane that had, until about 3 months ago, been looming outside my office window for a year working on a hotel tower. My colleagues and I watched in wonder on a few occasions as workers performed the maneuver where the crane adds new sections to raise itself higher. That's the maneuver that went awry in NYC. A very impressive operation, until you see the havoc that resulted from the collapse. I had always been concerned about the very real risk of that crane dropping something from far above onto the site below, but never imagined it toppling.


I know. Jackie has been paranoid (and obviously, with reason) for years about those gigantor cranes. Too scary.

neo, you are obviously correct. Even if they fix 100 streets there are thousands more out there and by the time they fix group 2 or 3, group 1 needs work again.

A few years ago they instituted a new policy that sounded sensible, so much so that we should have know it could never work. The idea was to do everything on a street at the same time, so they wouldn't have to dig it up to replace a water main (say) just after repaving. Needless to say, it didn't work.

Oooh! *pinches Blue*
You know, you could save yourself a lot of pinching if, just for today, you became Meanie the Greenie.

*installs a relatively safe crane for St. Pats day* (Yeah, so origami is traditionally Japanese; EVERYbody is Irish on St. Patrick's Day!)

Did you say Crane?

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