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June 28, 2006

CRIME IN AMISH COUNTRY

Psssstt.... Got milk?

(Thanks to Barbara Goldstein)

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first again? where is everyone?

"You can't just give milk away to someone other then yourself. It's a violation of the law," said LeeAnne Mizer, spokeswoman for the department.

And if you're in the habit of giving milk away to yourself, you may have a condition that would neciessitate the prescription of psychotropic drugs.

Is that where Dog found Beth?

So does that mean no one will want to buy the cow?

Grammatically, it should be: "You can't just give milk away to someone other THAN yourself."

No, Cyan - but if it were wooden, they would steal it.

yeah, i was so sad they didn't have a clickable email address for the author, cyaneyed... pet peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeve... then is a TIME thing. than is a comparison. learn the difference. grrrrrr.

My pet peeve is people who use "mute" when they mean "moot", as in: "it's a mute point." *snarls and gets up and walks around the room a few times to calm down*

coming from around the Amish country (southwestern Pennsylvania...) I used to drive to work on sundays and pass 10-20 Amish carts on the way to church. I respect all they do and stand for...it just aint me.

I said Guten Morgen, Sir!

Curses on Barbara - I sent this in, too, under "Amish Farmers: The New Terrorist Bastards."

That dairy-law-enforcer woman should be forced to shovel cow manure for her torturous language useage.

or "acrossED" the street, or "anywayS", or "ON accident" (not by accident) ..
Yeah, I have a lot of them. I feel your pain.

muffles: my adam has a song with 'anyways' in it. it bugged me for the first, oh, 9,000 or so listens. then (or is it than? hahahaha) i got used to it.

judi, if you broke the cd, it would be a mute point.

Judi SPOKE to me!! *cue heavenly music*

And btw, there's a song out now (Lonely Day by System of a Down) that I HATE with all the passion of my soul, and my reasons are twofold:
1) the main line that they repeat over and over is "it's the most lonliest day of my life"
and
2) it's a very catchy song. I've heard it all the way through, like, once and now as soon as I hear it starting on the radio that song is stuck in my head for the day. ohhh the agony!!!

Muffles, this really going to date me, but "Seasons in the Sun" had the same effect on me. There were days when it would get stuck in my head and I just wanted to shoot myself.

What about those who say they could care less about something, when in fact they could NOT care less?!?! That drives me freakin' nutz...

*goes off in search of more Valium*

Dim, would you settle for a Mojito?

Yeah, them people who make those assumptions and then misuse the word/language are irritatin' ...

I once had a newspaper "manager" (not "editor") criticize me for usin' a misspelled word in a story ...

I asked, "which one?" ...

Paraphernalia wuz the word.

I spelled it correctly ... in the article, and here, as well ...

Stoopid people who can't talk/write/spell have the Brazen Gall and Effrontery to criticize persons who use the language properly ... ICK Attack!

(Obscure dramatic reference there ... NEbuddy get it?)

I just got back from a trip to central Ohio, home to the world's largest Amish community. I think the Amish are a pretty interesting group. And lots of laws are altered to accommodate them. Why not the milk laws, too?

DimWitte: I HATE that one too!! I wuz a'gonna mentionitise that but I've hadden it 'splained to me that either way is correct, and I wasn't a-lookin' fer no one to start that there conversation with me here today

marfie,

Valium good, mojito more better!

(although I don't see how they can both be correct... maybe it's like "ain't" - if enough people use it then we change the rules instead of trying to correct all those people)

I had a "teacher" (read misplaced football/wrestling coach) in high school who used to say, "It ceases to amaze me..." all the time. Of course, being the shy, young, shrinking violet that I was, I asked him if that meant he was no longer amazed by anything. He was not amused.

All this grammaticizin' on this here blog is givin' me a headache. Originally originatin' from West Virginia, I'm lucky if'n ol' pimple face at the drivethru can understand me orderin' a hamburger.

As a geek in good standing I cannot sit idly by when someone misuse the word "penultimate". This, however, did not endear me to a variety of instructors. They, for the most part, did not believe me. Finally, the last time it happened, I xeroxed the dictionary page, blew it up as large as possible and left it taped on the blackboard. I have never heard the word since.

Oh, and don't get me started on "nuc-you-lar".

There is a small Amish colony near where I live, just a few families. When they first moved here, they used to host dinners occasionally in the nearby town, for which they charged an amazingly small fee for an amazingly large plateful of food, and they also sold baked goods, etc. Their main purpose, besides selling their goods, was to get acquainted with the townspeople and be good neighbors. Some government goon closed them down because to serve food on a semi-regular basis means you are a restaurant, and they didn't have a permit. AArgh!

As to the grammar discussion: I hate it when people use "comprised" when they mean "composed." And don't even get me started on "its" and "it's"!

My big word-peeve is heighth. It's HEIGHT, people! no -th at the end! It's not width and heighth, it's width and HEIGHT

Why buy the cow when you can have the milk? Betsey, the Heifer always practiced Christian ethics,- she always shared with those who were needier than herself.

Yay for the beaurocrats! Motto: Messing with your life until it's worse than it was before!

Back to Cyaneyed's original comment, *snork.*

I loved the story I read where the Amish completely reconstructed a [non-Amish] neighbor's house in 14-hours, after a recent tornado. I recall the figure the neighbor's were able to pocket from the insurance settlement, after paying off the materials bill, was in the neighborhood of $60,000. They would take no money for their labor.

a gift for all my fellow grammargeeks, courtesy of having to look stuff up for my other job (try the powerpoint prog about halfway down the page):

http://grammar.ccc.commnet.edu/grammar/diagrams/diagrams.htm

if anyone knows where the INTERACTIVE one is (where you can do it yourself), i'd appreciate a link.

I agree with the than/then pet peeve. However, Judi, as a freelance writer for several small-town publications, I am very often frustrated by my editors' efforts to "correct" my spelling/grammar/usage. Last month alone, my editors changed:

*"sheer" curtains to "shear"
*A show "starring" a magician to one "staring" him
*food that pleased my "palate" to tempt everyone else's "palette".

This poor writer might have had nothing to do with the error, and may, like me, be regularly mortified (but unable to do anything about it).


I'd be willin' to tutor you, Judi ...

merely ... um ... in a tutorial mood ...

oh yeah, that has happened to dave a number of times. luckily we always have the "real" version from the herald to send back to the incensed grammarians who write in. at least there ARE some :)

"Incensed Grammarians" wbagnfaliteraryRB...maybe the Remainders should change their name.

...and the ever-popular your, instead of you're, where appropriate - this makes me nuts. along with noting that somebody or other was able to achieve something; well, if they were able to, then they achieved it. why waste words?
but, as a writer and editor, the thing i always find amusing is when they describe someone as a former head of the suchandsuch, when they need to be saying 'formerly' the head of the suchandsuch. nobody is ever elected or appointed as a former head of the etc... grr.
and the good news is that the amish arent reading this since they dont have electricity and computers. right???
and sorry guin. no need to curse me. lotsa times i send stuff, and then dave or judi puts it on here with someone else's attribution, there are worse things in this life.
queensbee a/k/a barb goldstein

we attribute it to whoever sends it in first.

Would that, then, Judi, be whut we would refer to as a "primary attribute"?

Or, a "Premiere Attribute"?

Merely ... attributable ...

thanks judi, and i'm sure that if something sounds really postable - well, lots of folks send it in, since we seem to gravitate to the same, er, goofy, er, i mean deeply meaningful articles.
and i left out one pet peeve - use of the expression- "being that". "Being that she was a woman.... "Shutup! Obviously, if you are being a woman..... you are one.
when dave invites me to be secretary of grammar, I will ensure that sentence diagramming is legislated.

"Joe and me went to the store."

Or even worse, the pretentious types who use "I" incorrectly to prove their intellectual superiority.

"She served beverages to Ed and I."

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHH

Ok- superfluous apostrophes to indicate plural instead of just posessives or contractions- e.g., on my new remote controller the instructions say "You can also control TV's, VCR's, DVD's and Audio equipment" but on the next line it has the appropriate pleurals.

And don't get ME started on the proper use of y'all. It is the best second person pleural that we have! I, you, he, she, it, we, y'all, they. We, YOU, they is just stupid. "All y'all", though redundant, is acceptable in certain areas of the deep south where the reference is to a very large group.

Layzee- I was seeing red and missed your (not you're) post- I hate that too.

Muffles - that "most loneliest day of my life" song is my MOST HATED SONG OF ALL TIME ever since I first heard it! I agree with you 100%! Seriously when I first heard it, my thought process was as follows:

[musical intro] Hey, this new song sounds cool. That's catchy.
[lyrics begin] Huh... these lyrics are lame. Are they for real?
[chorus begins] Wait, I get it, it's a parody! It's a joke! These guys couldn't possibly be serious.
[song continues] Oh my god. They are serious. *head explodes*

My boyfriend gets a big kick out of it, actually, because any time it comes on the radio I get so worked up, change the station, and proceed to huff and puff and rant and rave. Then he gets to mock me for actually caring about grammar in music.

there are lots of things that bug me about grammar in music. :) the aforementioned "anyways" and a couple of third eye blind lyrics, which escape me at the moment. but i love them so it doesn't bother me as much. the one i HATE is paula cole's "i don't want to wait"

So open up your morning light,
And say a little prayer for I
You know that if we are to stay alive
Then see the peace in every eye...

say a prayer for *I*?!?!?! holy crap! couldn't come up with a more stupider way to put it, you dumbass?

... um ... Judi?

Calm down ... deep breathely ...

"And say a little prayer for I" ?!?!? That's really what she's saying? Really for real? AUGH!!!!! I always assumed she was saying something I couldn't quite make out. I never pursued the matter, since I didn't like the song anyway. Paula Cole must be slapped. That comes close to "Loneliest!"

(It's a lonely day. And it's mine. The most loneliest day of my liii-iiife... *stabstabstab*)

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