BE ADVISED

In this blog's experience, it is easier to remortgage a home than to cancel an America OnLineOrElse account.

UPDATE: OK, here is why I say that:

I called the number they tell you to call if you want to cancel (although they do not make this number easy to find) and I went through the usual two or three or six dozen voicemail prompt/response exchanges with the sweet-sounding recorded voicemail lady, the only glitch there being when she asked me to confirm that I am, in fact, me, by telling her where I was born, which I did, and she TOLD ME I WAS WRONG, as if SHE knew something about where I was born that I DON'T know.

Anyway, I finally got through to a human, of sorts, a very agreeable guy named Jay who was sorry that I wanted to cancel but eager to be Helpful, as in "I can help you with that." His helpfulness took the form of asking me 183 different ways if I didn't want to in fact KEEP AmericaOnLineOrElse, as if I had gone through all that hassle with the sweet-sounding recorded voicemail lady for the sheer fun of it. I answered "no" in a dull monotone every time, until Jay finally gave up on Helping and said he would actually cancel my account. Then there was much waiting and pausing and putting-on-hold and talk of computer problems, and even a few more pitches to keep AmericaOnLineOrElse, until FINALLY Jay said he was going to give me my cancellation confirmation number, and then he put me on hold, and then....

...and then a voice came on saying, "If you'd like to make a call, please..."

AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH

So I don't know that I have, in fact, canceled my acount. The only way to know for sure would be to call back, and right now I do not have the strength.

Say, do you think....

Comments

[skewdperspective]

Dave - You should have known from the beginning! Seek the wisdom of FLEM!

http://www.flemcomics.com/d/20020521.html

[Boutros]

When I cancelled my AOL account I found it best to tell them that my computer had died, and I was never EVER going to get another computer. And I was moving to Africa. Then they shut up.

[sarah]

I once cancelled an AOL acct only to have the charge reappear 2 billing cycles later. I called,gave them my address etc...The address did not match. I asked them to tell me what the address on the acct was - they couldn't tell me for privacy reasons!! Hello this is supposedly my acct and my credit card!! She honest-to-God wanted me to guess the address. Do they pay their employees in crack?

After going round and round with the annoyingly perky woman (perky in the face of the inappropriate language) I finally hung up and disputed it with the credit card company. Mastercard has some mysterious power and they were able to get it cancelled.

[Maggie]

I cancelled my account with Compuserve (owned by AOL). It took me 30 minutes of speaking with someone who said his name was Todd. His accent and lack of understanding told me he was lying about his name. I thought I had cancelled successfully. Two weeks later, I received a letter in the mail that read, "Thanks for renewing your Compuserve account!"

[Bill]

I know a guy who negotiated with the customer service rep to actually get AOL for free. They are bleeding customers, and they are so desperate to keep them that if you are hard-nosed enough about it, they will let you keep the account for nothing. Try it!

[24-aholic]

Luckily, I have never had AOL; however, I've still been amazed at sales people's nerve:

I have a "do not solicit" sign on my door. In my town, it is illegal to approach a residence if this sign is in clear view, as mine is. I used to babysit 6 children and one day my doorbell rang. A young kid gave me the annual "trying to get myself through college so I'm peddling crap" speech. I interrupted him and pointed out my sign, to which he replied "oh, that little thing?" and CONTINUED to try and sell me crap. Again, I reiterated that it is illegal for him to try and sell to me and he CONTINUED to try and sell me crap. I told him I was not interested and was in the middle of caring for several children when he used profanity with me and stalked off! I said "excuse me, are you cussing at me after you just tried to sell me your crap?". He again cussed at me to which I told him to get the he!! off my property. The nerve!

[Elvisonvelvet]

I had a similar experience when I tried to cancel my Netzero account. I was switching to DSL. The customer service person tried for quite a while to get me to change my mind, and I finally said, "I know you're supposed to say these things, but I'm not going to change my mind so PLEASE just cancel my account." She must have heard the desperation in my voice (I absolutely HATE confrontation), so she changed tactics and suddenly turned into my best friend. Who doesn't know how to do her job. After about ten minutes, she provided me with a cancellation number, but didn't let me off the line because she "needed a supervisor to approve it." But you see, they were in the middle of a shift change, and she "couldn't find anyone" to make the approval. After waiting for about five minutes for her to find someone, I finally pointed out that since I already had the cancellation number, there was no reason for me to hang around on the line, and miraculously, a supervisor appeared at that very minute.

I never had a problem with them charging my account after that, which was also something of a miracle.

[O. the U(manity)]

When I dropped MSN and Netzero (both for dialup) 'cuz I'd finally wised up and got a wireless dealie ... my cancellation procedure was ... relatively ... easy ... din't take more than about eight-to-10 minutes ... of course, they all wanted to sign me up for highspeed ... but I said, "Does it work with my laptop when I'm away from home 225 nights a year?"

... um ... "No ... but ... you could put it in at home, for when you're home ..."

Ding-Dong! Anyone there? I ALREADY HAVE highspeed at home ... why would I want two (or more) ISPs?

Finally, no sale ... cancellation ...

[Henry]

[DensityDuck]

The hell? Who still uses AOL in this day and age?

OH NO, I TYPED OUT A BAD WORD WITHOUT OBSCURING IT WITH * or !