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May 24, 2006

YOUR FLORIDA TRAFFIC REPORT

We have a gator on the turnpike.

(Thanks to George Spiggott)

Comments

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No rap?

I hate when that happens.

"They filled its head with cannonballs and powdered its behind,
And when they touched the powder off the gator lost its mind."

*geezersnork* @ Jeff
We fired our guns...

P.S. - thanx for the earwig!

Yeah, those University of Florida students are a bit slow, if you know what I mean.

I'm sorry, but the first thought that came to me was:

I've seen horseshoe crabs that had been run over-what would a run-over gator look like?
A gator-skin rug? With red paisley accents?

Surprised a trucker didn't do the deed!

OK, back to work, nothing to see here!

poor liddle gator was tryin' to get away from the big, mean boa.

And the British kept a'comin'
I lived a few blocks from Johnny Horton when that was released, in Shreveport.

Wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago

*yawn* Ho, hum. Typical day here in So Fla. There was a gator on the Dolphin Expressway just last week. Didja miss that one, Dave? I sent it in.

Easy, Suzy Q. Not all gators make it on the blog. This ain't "American Idol-Croc."

Was he tail-gatoring?

He caiman went, I suppose.

American CrodoIdol ?

Annie: Yes, I suppose the Turnpike would trump the Dolphin Expressway. *pout*

Jeez, NO ONE has asked the important question:

WHY DID THE ALLIGATOR CROSS THE ROAD??!

To get to the lady gardening in the backyard. And the "experts" keep trying to tell us that its us messing with the gators instead of the other way around.

All I can hear in my head is Eddie Murphy's voice from Beverly Hills cop. Instead of "gotta banana in the tailpipe" I am hearing "gotta gator on the turnpike".

Time to up the meds!

(this still relevant?)

ran so fast the hounds couldn't catch 'em

"Spotting" the alligator? I thought "spotting" was something ladies did inside their underwear. I guess I don't want to know.

"...the reptile made his way into a nearby canal without injuries..." Spotted alligators? Injured canals? Still don't want to know.

The 'gator crossed the road to catch the chicken!
Romanian men wearing shorts: Beware!!

...down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.

There. Now innocent folks have been exposed to multiple strains of the earwig from hell. Heh.

chuckle - thats the first time I have seen an entire verse handed off so well during a thread!!
*tear*
that was beautiful gang!!

Why did the gator cross the road?
-to get to the otter slide.

CR - I think we're ready to open for the Remainders...

Shouldn't the police have reported "a reptile dysfunction"

But why do they name streets in Florida after the PGA?

As the Republicans continue to sell the Everglades to developers; people who are living on what used to be distant swamp are bound to meet some alligators that still think they are in the Everglades.

Yeah, whut y'all said ... others caught all the various facets that bothered me, so I don't hafta say it now ...

Tnx 4 the help ... seriously ... (HAR!)

Shouldn't the police have reported "a reptile dysfunction"

Posted by: bschuess | 05:20 PM on May 24, 2006

bschuess--outstanding!

Jack would have set up a perimeter if Chloe would DOWNLOAD THE DAM'D VECTORS!!!! Oh, well, just shoot it in the thigh...

Gators got thighs?

When they're lunching, they have thighs...and sometimes a wing or two.

*snorks Annie

heheheheheheheheheheheh ... @ Annie ... merely ... gigglin' ...

Well, as much as I complain about the insanely congested traffic in So. California, at least we don't have to deal with giant lizards on the road.

Wavey - yet. There's at least one in a lake near Long Beach.

OK, Wavey, but y'all might wanna watch out for fallin' whale parts ... or wuz that in Oregon? (Dave's exploding whale tale ... I've got it bookmarked, so now I'll hafta go look ...)

Yeah, Oregon ... well, mebbe they'll use a Douchenator™ dealy ...

the exploding whale was in Taiwan...or at least one of them was.

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4096586/

ya, know, if they'd wanted to get the gator off the turnpike quickly, all they needed to do was release a little yappy dog as bait.

I suggest using Paris Hilton's yappy little dog. And then Paris. And then her snotty vulgar trustafarian boyfriend. Round up multiple gators if needed.

Or get young Amos Moses: "When Amos Moses was a boy his daddy would use him for alligator bait..."

(As if one earwig weren't enough) *evil grin*

SPEED BUMP! But then I'm from Texas and we tend to over anything that gets on the road (armadillos, jackalopes)

SPEED BUMP! But then I'm from Texas and we tend to over anything that gets on the road (armadillos, jackalopes)

Mutliple personality-Sorry!

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