YOUR FLORIDA TRAFFIC REPORT
We have a gator on the turnpike.
(Thanks to George Spiggott)
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May 24, 2006
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No rap?
Posted by: Tamara Rhymes With Camera | May 24, 2006 at 03:25 PM
I hate when that happens.
Posted by: Eleanor | May 24, 2006 at 03:25 PM
"They filled its head with cannonballs and powdered its behind,
And when they touched the powder off the gator lost its mind."
Posted by: Jeff Meyerson | May 24, 2006 at 03:28 PM
*geezersnork* @ Jeff
We fired our guns...
P.S. - thanx for the earwig!
Posted by: CoastRaven | May 24, 2006 at 03:29 PM
Yeah, those University of Florida students are a bit slow, if you know what I mean.
Posted by: BillyJoeJimBob | May 24, 2006 at 03:32 PM
I'm sorry, but the first thought that came to me was:
I've seen horseshoe crabs that had been run over-what would a run-over gator look like?
A gator-skin rug? With red paisley accents?
Surprised a trucker didn't do the deed!
OK, back to work, nothing to see here!
Posted by: Curious John | May 24, 2006 at 03:33 PM
poor liddle gator was tryin' to get away from the big, mean boa.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 24, 2006 at 03:42 PM
And the British kept a'comin'
I lived a few blocks from Johnny Horton when that was released, in Shreveport.
Posted by: pogo | May 24, 2006 at 03:43 PM
Wasn't quite as many as there was a while ago
Posted by: nannie | May 24, 2006 at 03:45 PM
*yawn* Ho, hum. Typical day here in So Fla. There was a gator on the Dolphin Expressway just last week. Didja miss that one, Dave? I sent it in.
Posted by: Suzy Q | May 24, 2006 at 03:46 PM
Easy, Suzy Q. Not all gators make it on the blog. This ain't "American Idol-Croc."
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 24, 2006 at 03:48 PM
Was he tail-gatoring?
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 24, 2006 at 03:49 PM
He caiman went, I suppose.
Posted by: markhh | May 24, 2006 at 03:53 PM
American CrodoIdol ?
Posted by: MOTW | May 24, 2006 at 04:01 PM
Annie: Yes, I suppose the Turnpike would trump the Dolphin Expressway. *pout*
Posted by: Suzy Q | May 24, 2006 at 04:05 PM
Jeez, NO ONE has asked the important question:
WHY DID THE ALLIGATOR CROSS THE ROAD??!
Posted by: tropichunt.com guy™ | May 24, 2006 at 04:05 PM
To get to the lady gardening in the backyard. And the "experts" keep trying to tell us that its us messing with the gators instead of the other way around.
Posted by: Somewhere North | May 24, 2006 at 04:10 PM
All I can hear in my head is Eddie Murphy's voice from Beverly Hills cop. Instead of "gotta banana in the tailpipe" I am hearing "gotta gator on the turnpike".
Time to up the meds!
Posted by: Somewhere North | May 24, 2006 at 04:11 PM
(this still relevant?)
ran so fast the hounds couldn't catch 'em
Posted by: Ann | May 24, 2006 at 04:16 PM
"Spotting" the alligator? I thought "spotting" was something ladies did inside their underwear. I guess I don't want to know.
Posted by: mudstuffin | May 24, 2006 at 04:36 PM
"...the reptile made his way into a nearby canal without injuries..." Spotted alligators? Injured canals? Still don't want to know.
Posted by: mudstuffin | May 24, 2006 at 04:38 PM
The 'gator crossed the road to catch the chicken!
Romanian men wearing shorts: Beware!!
Posted by: CandyT | May 24, 2006 at 04:41 PM
...down the Mississippi to the Gulf of Mexico.
There. Now innocent folks have been exposed to multiple strains of the earwig from hell. Heh.
Posted by: Betsy | May 24, 2006 at 04:47 PM
chuckle - thats the first time I have seen an entire verse handed off so well during a thread!!
*tear*
that was beautiful gang!!
Posted by: CoastRaven | May 24, 2006 at 04:51 PM
Why did the gator cross the road?
-to get to the otter slide.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 24, 2006 at 04:54 PM
CR - I think we're ready to open for the Remainders...
Posted by: Ann | May 24, 2006 at 05:00 PM
Shouldn't the police have reported "a reptile dysfunction"
Posted by: bschuess | May 24, 2006 at 05:20 PM
But why do they name streets in Florida after the PGA?
Posted by: | May 24, 2006 at 05:54 PM
As the Republicans continue to sell the Everglades to developers; people who are living on what used to be distant swamp are bound to meet some alligators that still think they are in the Everglades.
Posted by: Traffic Citations Poll | May 24, 2006 at 07:16 PM
Yeah, whut y'all said ... others caught all the various facets that bothered me, so I don't hafta say it now ...
Tnx 4 the help ... seriously ... (HAR!)
Posted by: O. the U(manity) | May 24, 2006 at 07:30 PM
Shouldn't the police have reported "a reptile dysfunction"
Posted by: bschuess | 05:20 PM on May 24, 2006
bschuess--outstanding!
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | May 24, 2006 at 07:40 PM
Jack would have set up a perimeter if Chloe would DOWNLOAD THE DAM'D VECTORS!!!! Oh, well, just shoot it in the thigh...
Posted by: obi wan | May 24, 2006 at 07:54 PM
Gators got thighs?
Posted by: O. the U(manity) | May 24, 2006 at 07:55 PM
When they're lunching, they have thighs...and sometimes a wing or two.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 24, 2006 at 08:04 PM
*snorks Annie
Posted by: obi wan | May 24, 2006 at 08:12 PM
heheheheheheheheheheheh ... @ Annie ... merely ... gigglin' ...
Posted by: O. the U(manity) | May 24, 2006 at 08:31 PM
Well, as much as I complain about the insanely congested traffic in So. California, at least we don't have to deal with giant lizards on the road.
Posted by: Wavey | May 24, 2006 at 08:51 PM
Wavey - yet. There's at least one in a lake near Long Beach.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | May 24, 2006 at 10:02 PM
OK, Wavey, but y'all might wanna watch out for fallin' whale parts ... or wuz that in Oregon? (Dave's exploding whale tale ... I've got it bookmarked, so now I'll hafta go look ...)
Posted by: O. the U(manity) | May 24, 2006 at 11:15 PM
Yeah, Oregon ... well, mebbe they'll use a Douchenator™ dealy ...
Posted by: O. the U(manity) | May 24, 2006 at 11:34 PM
the exploding whale was in Taiwan...or at least one of them was.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/4096586/
ya, know, if they'd wanted to get the gator off the turnpike quickly, all they needed to do was release a little yappy dog as bait.
Posted by: marfie | May 24, 2006 at 11:38 PM
I suggest using Paris Hilton's yappy little dog. And then Paris. And then her snotty vulgar trustafarian boyfriend. Round up multiple gators if needed.
Posted by: Kid Charlemagne | May 25, 2006 at 01:11 AM
Or get young Amos Moses: "When Amos Moses was a boy his daddy would use him for alligator bait..."
(As if one earwig weren't enough) *evil grin*
Posted by: Kid Charlemagne | May 25, 2006 at 01:16 AM
SPEED BUMP! But then I'm from Texas and we tend to over anything that gets on the road (armadillos, jackalopes)
Posted by: Mikey | May 25, 2006 at 08:17 AM
SPEED BUMP! But then I'm from Texas and we tend to over anything that gets on the road (armadillos, jackalopes)
Posted by: Mikey | May 25, 2006 at 08:18 AM
Mutliple personality-Sorry!
Posted by: Mikey | May 25, 2006 at 08:18 AM