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May 25, 2006

UPDATE ON DEER-ATTACK STORY

This certainly comes as a surprise.

(Thanks to obi wan)

Comments

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First!

Zhimin "Nancy" Wang, related to Harry "Snapper" Organs?

And if she loses the lawsuit, she can always strangle her lawyer...

Yet another reason why we need Universal Health Coverage (withOUT a deer injury exclusion)

OK, I got this one covered, folks... cause I saw the movie.

All ya gotta do is find that little butt ugly black haired chick that comes out of the TV and toss her back in the well and the deer should start acting normal....

Ramdoe: The Movie

She could handle a little doe. I hope she doesn't get win the big bucks.

ok, so I didn't proofread

*snorks marfie and bs

Just knew sumbuddy would hoof it over to a lawyer quick like!

Bambi: Where are you going? You just got back!

Mrs. Bambi: Back to that path by the college. I'm hungry again already.

Bambi:Probably because the last time you went all you had was Chinese.

"if a wild-eyed deer bounds towards [a student], run." Gee, ya think?

Have to change the phrase to "like an SIU student in the headlights."

Doe wounds Wang. Wang wants dough. Don't win, Wang!

She was walking along, minding her own business when.. WANG!! Broken clavicle!

I don't know which would scare me more. A wild-eyed doe, or a wild eye wang?

How much dough would a wounded Wang win, if a doe would wound a Wang?

ku-does x 2 to AWTH


Deer are dangerous. We ought to start shooting them.

Where's that homecoming queen bear-batterer when you need her?

Doe, a deer, a female deer... Ahhhhhhhh!!!!!

And since then, Mary Poppins hasn't sang that song!

Al, not to be picky, but it was Maria in The Sound of Music. Same actress, though.

When will they learn to bring the kegs in off the porch after the mixers. These deer start t'drinkin'
and it is all over.

"Sounds like some fraternity prank to me, Chief.
I mean you have a bunch of bucks hanging around, drinking and spotlighting the Chi O house and shit like this is bound to happen".

Just testing you guys! Marfie, you've passed, but I bet the others wouldn't have caught it!

Honest, does anyone really know where your clavicle is?

Jimmy - honestly? Yes.

Roving gangs of pot-smoking antler-brandishing deer.Chimpanzees who eat their owners nads.killer bees!!!!!!!!!!I'm locking the doors!

National Grudge Report:

WANG INJURED DURING FAWNING SEASON
Naked Post-Partum Doe Girl Heard Screaming: "Another fine mess you got me into, Bucko."

"Your Honor, the prosecution calls as its next witness, Bambi. And your Honor, I would like to request Bambi be identified as a hostile witness?"

Nine perky newsies? That's not a TV station, it's a cult.

That's a mean looking deer. Kind of part Rottweiler part Bambi, the Great.

Rabid Doe WBAGNFARB, doncha think?

"HUH?" inducing quote: ... June's fawning season, when officials say mother does tend to be more aggressive in protecting offspring ...

So, when do we find out what the father does are like?

... oh, this writer studied (?) in the Department of Redundancy Department ... nevermind ...

OtheU- during fawning season, does grow some great big brass ones. The bucks are all watching NBA and NHL playoffs, so...

Hey, come to think of it, "Brass-b@lled does" WBAGNFARB!

obi' --

OK ... I'll buy that, but y'all should also consider that during the fawning season, the bucks are antlerless, 'cuz they dropped their cranial adornmentation characteristics a few months earlier, and the new ones are just startin' to grow back ...

So ... p'haps we could say (allowin' for creative license) that durin' the fawning season, the bucks are NOT horny ...

There are does that are not yet mothers, hence they have no fawns to protect and aren't as aggressive as the 'mother does.'

Key quote:

"University officials last week launched a public-awareness campaign to implore anyone on the campus to watch out for deer, to not approach the animals and, if a wild-eyed deer starts bounding their way, run."


...as opposed to just standing there like a deer in headlights...

Annie -

Sorta, but not exactly ... the "does" nomenclature is sorta similar to the "cows" designation ... an unbred female cow is a "heifer" as an unbred female swine is a "gilt" and not a "sow" ... there's a term for an unbred female deer that's used sometimes, but I fergit whut it is, so ... an unbred female deer is not necessarily a "doe" ...

HOWever, your concept is correct ... the non-mother-type female deer will not be as aggressive as the one who has fawned, in protecting her young ...

BTW, deer are members of the ovidensis gang, and are considered sheep, of a different branch of the family -- Elk (wapiti) and Moose are also "deer" ... therefore, the Moose is the largest member of the sheep family (at least in North America -- in Europe, whut they call a "moose" is perty close to whut we call an Elk ...

and ... a female moose with offspring, would truly be a "Big Mother" ...

... merely ... discussin' ...

/TMI

No, it's not ...

BTW, the Pronghorn of North America is not a true antelope, tho it is often called by that moniker ... it is a member of the goat family ... hence, the term "prairie goat" [as opposed to "mountain goat"] or "speed goat" often used by hunters or other wildlife enthusiasts ...

Now, /TMI ...

O? How in the name of all that is holy do you know all this?

"The Speed Goats" WBAGNFARB!

Whoa. Flashback. I thought I'd wandered into an episode of Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom with Marlin Perkins.

Oh I just LOVE fawning season! It's just terrific. I love everything about it! And all your posts! They're so witty and wonderful! And such good grammar! And Dave! What a great host and a brilliant writer. And Judi! Lovely as always and the epitome of professioanism! And this website is so well designed! Have I mentioned how much I admire and respect fawning season? I have? Well, it can't be said often enough! And furthermore...

marfie - I pay attention ... and some of it (whut interests me) sticks to the memory banks ...

sly' ... yeah, I useta watch him too, but Johnny Carson's asides about Marlin and Jim were funnier ...

Bill -- EXcellent job of fawning ...

Snork! at Dear Al.

Is anyone else nauseous over this? What next? I can see the headline now.

"Man sues the state for not protecting him from the rain."

Quoted in the story: "I really feel the state has not taken the appropriate measures to keep us from getting wet when it rains".
Reporter: Well, couldn't you just get an umbrella?
Man: Oh sure, but that still doesn't stop my feet from getting wet and I think it's time someone told the state that we need protection from nature.
Reporter: From nature
Man: Yes. We can't be held responsible for the actions of nature! I mean, what if the wind blew really hard and my hair got messed up? I mean, normally that would be OK, but what if i had a job interview? I could potentially lose my edge with messy hair!
Reporter: So you're saying that the wind is also a problem?
Man: Yes, that is exactly what I am saying and that is why I am persuing this lawsuit.
Reporter: What about personal responsiblity?
Man: What?
Reporter: Personal responsibility.
Man: What's that?
Reporter: Never mind. Jane, back to you....

I love their solution to the problem: "If a wild-eyed deer starts bounding their way, run." Classic!

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