SCIENCE NEWS FOR MALES

This is huge.

Comments

[queensbee]

oh, first.

great. more d!cks.

[Chianca at Large]

This worries me. If they can create an artificial penis, the only thing women will need us for is to operate the barbecue grill.

[wolfie]

Damaged or diseased?
It seems that if they didn't take care of their original one, we really shouldn't reward them by giving them a new one.

[Stephen M. St. Onge]

        Thank God that we have The World's Greatest Reporter® (and My Close Personal Friend™), Dave Barry, keeping us abreast on top ahead informed of the Important News Stories.

        Remind me, why do we keep the New York Times around?

[southerngirl]

would penis-shaped matrix bagnf anything?

*snorks* for Chianca and wolfie!

[Bill]

Will they be, ahem, fully functional?

[Olo Baggins of Bywater]

penis cancer

Good thing I do regular inspections. I mean....my wife does regular inspections. Yeah.

[slyeyes]

A rabbit d!ck?

hasenpfeffer.

[CoastRaven]

"entirely replaced the organs with penises grown from the animal's own cells"

They put back more than one!??!

[Jemmy]

This could be good news for some, but I wonder if the experimented-on rabbits will get their revenge, someday, somehow, when we least expect it, BWAHAHAHAHA.

[Betsy]

Indeed, the replacement penises worked like a charm. The rabbits were able to get erections, mate with females, and get females pregnant with normal, healthy pups.

But did anyone interview the rabbits??? Did they relax with a dreamy smile and a cigarette afterward, or look slightly puzzled, shrug, and go back to the carrot patch?

[Jaybird]

Huh.

Fully Functional? The article states that mama rabbit had pups! Sounds iffy to me...

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Boy it's tough to be a rabbit.

[puppytoes]

not yet huge... but one suspects it's only a matter of time.

[SquirlCat41]

Chianca - Don't forget squishing bugs

[wolfie]

Chianca ~ you don't have to worry about it until they make us foot warmers that work as well as a mans warm body does when our feet are blocks of ice. With that extra blast of warmth that yall get right the moment after you fall asleep that draws our popsicle extremities like a magnet.

[random thunking]

Puppytoes, Huge you say? I got yer "penis shaped matrix right here.

[O. the U(manity)]

HOWever, there's the whole "penis-shaped matrix" thing ...

[crossgirl]

why are they using rabbits for models, aren't they rather, errr, petite? dave, can you lend them walter?

[russell]

"The Rabbit Grown Glands" wbagnfarb

[puppytoes]

random thinking: and why-oh-why does something like that exist?? because men are just that ambitious and/or hopeful and/or delusional!

[bunny foo foo]

"Indeed, the replacement penises worked like a charm."

Guess that means they'll be putting them on key chains.

[pogo]

Yeah Doc, it seems to be working OK, but I have this urge to hop over to the salad bar all the time.

[fivver]

Bringing an entirely new meaning to What's up doc?

[Schadeboy]

I think I see where this is going. Sure, they'll use it for something noble now, like reconstruction when pissed off girlfriends have their last word, but just you wait until California gets their hands on this technology. Mark my word, they'll invent a whole new industry out of it, and celebrities (Tom?) will be touting how wonderful it is.

But when it comes to human trials, I'll thankfully be counting myself out.

[Glue gun bob]

Story in box to right of main story.

"Study links plastics to small genitals."

Do they think it will help?

[KOW]

"Our goal is eventually to treat infants and adults with birth defects, penis trauma, or penis cancer,"

How but the increase in Bobbitectomies? Or is that what they mean by 'penis trauma' as opposed to 'removal'?

[Punkin Poo]

"It's now possible to replace a defective, damaged, or diseased penis with a penis grown in a laboratory -- in rabbits."

So, do they have to kill the rabbits to get them out?

[Aunt Nancy]

Wait a minute - female rabbits have pups? I thought baby rabbits were called bunnies.

No wonder my dog looks at rabbits and gets confused.

[obi wan]

All this time I've had it wrong? It's REALLY "cottontail peter"?

[obi wan]

ISIANMTU, but "penis-shaped matrix" anagrams to "tie expands a shrimp."

[judi]

if it's huge, isn't it science news for females? be honest.

[Curious John]

Key Quote:

"But this is a future goal. We are now deciding which animal model to explore next."

Suggestions, anyone?

gee-ee-ee, Wilbur!!

[O. the U(manity) (MBE LP)]

obi ' --

LOL! HAR!!!

[D. Esker]

Hum. Theoretically, the production of spares would be possible.

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