IT'S OFFICIAL

We now have what the news media traditionally refer to as an epidemic.

Comments

[djtonyb]

It's those damn terrorist bastards!

*makes vow to go before he leaves the house, everytime*

[Jessica R.]

I was just coming to the blog to warn you about this, Dave!

[mudstuffin]

Yeah, if toilet seat has a viscous substance of unknown origin on it, especially in a public restroom, I generally poop on the floor.

[Jessica R.]

*waves* to Dave and djtonyb,
Have a nice day, guys.

[CoastRaven]

I am SOOO glad I moved (didnt say had a movement) off the Delmarva Peninsula!!

[clark kent]

It's a little known fact that most super heroes don't go to the bathroom. It's the burning off of any food we consume that gives us the ability to fly...

Except for Batman. Which is why you do not EVER want to go in the Bat Cave.... Trust me....

[Layzeeboy]

Mrs. Layzeeboy swears this happens to me every morning between 6 and 7.

Yay, I've never been part of an epidemic before.

(Hey, Dave, is that secret code we have to know (qN7r4q) to get past the robot your mother's maiden name? street you grew up on? pet's name?)

[Punkin Poo]

Yeeesh! Guess you guys will just have to sh*t in the woods....like the Pope.

[Layzeeboy]

SNARK - the robot asked me for the secret code when I tried to post the above. A'int sarcasm grand?

[Kilmeny]

Have you noticed that its mostly MEN glued to the toilets?

Just sayin'.

[Kathy P.]

Yeah, I noticed - we gals not only check, but hover if neccessary to avoid other hoverer's splashbacks. Just sayin'....

[Syerra]

Don't these stores have security cameras outside the bathrooms to see who goes in and out? You think they would because how of stealing. How far in advance can you put glue on a seat before it dries anyway? Are these people gluing their OWN butts to the seats in order to gain a nice cash settlement? Makes you wonder.

[Sean]

It's a case of mass assfixiation..

[Layzeeboy]

snark atchya, Sean

[Sean]

Crazy Glue is taking advantage of all this.. In their new ad campaign, instead of a guy in a helmet that is glued to a beam suspended in air, they are going to have a guy whose ass is glued to a toilet seat trying to no avail to stand up..The whole worlds gone crazy! Crazy for crazy glue !

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Syerra-Good point. They would have to be using crazy glue, which dries almost immediately. (emphasis on the "crazy")

Sean-Way to go!

[Betsi]

I can't help thinking that Dave is somehow behind this...

[Sean]

And a new invention has been developed to free these poor individuals who find themselves in this situation..It's similar to the " Jaws Of Life" that fire departments use to free trapped car crash victims.. It is called " The Cheeks Of Duty "..

[herb]

*Inspires entire new line of solvent products* Infomercial script ad reads:

Got glued? Don't get unglued! Carry our convenient travel size of Ass-All-Rite in your pocket or purse. Don't bemoan . . . just dethrone! Get your butt unplugged today! Call now, and we will include a FREE Ginsu knife with your order!

[Juggler of Geese]

Snork @ Herb.

"I'll buy that for a Dollar."

[Matt Morrison]

What else are they going to do in Salisbury, MD? All they have down there is a Wal-Mart and the Museum of Wildfowl Art.

[lyndee]

Okay, maybe I'm just obsessive, but when using a public restroom I always wipe the seat off and use a seat protector.

[Cheesewiz]

"Mr. Nackermayer, I won't be able to come to work today. The oddest thing happened to me last night at the Walmart...."

[Annie Where-but-here]

I can't wait for the warning signs they'll post - "Walm@rt is not responsible for adhesives left on toilet seats. Please don't poo if you see glue."

[angene15]

"Spashback"?? I will most certainly add that term to my vocabulary. Be warned the day I have to use it.

[BillyJoeJimBob]

C'mon, everybody sing along (with apologies to Carly Simon):

Assfixiation, Assfixi-a-a-tion
Is makin' me late
Is keepin' me wai-ai-ai-ai-ai-tin'

Could be the RBR's next greatest hit!

[angstly yours]

This could create the funniest legal action in the anals, er, annals of law.

[Flash]

I was going to share this with my class, but I immediately decided that would be a bad idea. The next rash of butt-gluings would surely have taken place in Logan, Utah. When dealing with a bunch of high-schoolers, some things are better left unsaid. (They come up with enough dumb ideas on their own.)

[Kat]

Saw this on the news last night, really hoped they would show the guy being hauled out of Wally World with the toilet seat stuck to his hind parts. But since I wasn't watching Fox they didn't.

[O. the U(manity)]

NEbuddy check the story about the Maid of Honor takin' a bullet (for the Bride?) at the bouquet toss?

Hey, it wuz in Texas ... why should anyone be surprised?

and ...

Why is Hawaii reporting on stories in Maryland and Texas? Doesn't anything happen on the islands?

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

O.U I didn't see that link, but there is a voting box where we can tell "them" if we look before sitting. I haven't decided yet if I'm going to tell them or not.