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May 31, 2006

I SWEAR I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP

We went to the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace, and after MUCH pomp and ceremony and marching around by uniformed personnel and horses, the band started playing various martial tunes. And then, as the crowd -- at least my part of the crowd -- gaped in astonishment, the band played.... Copacabana!

Really. I have no idea why. But I do know I would not feel safe in a palace guarded by people playing Barry Manilow.

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Disco never really died over there.

I bet it's some kind of evil plot by the Queen's Corgis.

Barry Manilow: he not only induces stupified shopping frenzies but keeps terrorists at bay as well.

What more could you ask for?

It's a secret code message for you Dave, from the Queen.

*mumble, mumble, grumble, No, Dr. Freud, I am not parinoid, everyone has these ideas

I think they play this sort of stuff as a prank. They are forever playing the Monty Python tune (aka Liberty Bell by Sousa). And the entire repertoire of Sir Cliff Richard, for chrisay.

It's Camilla's influence, I tell ya.

Dave! Your cover has been breached! THEY KNOW YOU'RE THERE! Get out! Get out!

Next thing ya know there'll be snakes in the loo and British squirrels in kilts lobbing bland foodstuffs at you til you cry.

Other songs you're not likely to hear at Buckingham Palace:

10. Like a Virgin
9. Afternoon Delight
8. Inna Godda Davida
7. God Save the Queen (Sex Pistols Version)
6. What's New, Pussycat?
5. Mellow Yellow
4. Beer Barrell Polka
3. The Chicken Dance
2. The "Benny Hill Show" Theme Song
1. (When I Think About You) I Touch Myself

They haven't let their guard down. It's just their way of saying that you're copacabanned from entering the palace, Dave.

And really, would you WANT to enter a palace that had Barry Manilow tunes playing all the time? I think not. I figure it's a good form of protection.

Wait wait wait..... They're playing Manilow tunes at the palace, President Logan just HAPPENS to be in England the same time The Blog (and Mrs. Blog, and the Bloglings) are, and there's been over 20 weeks of posts here about "24"?

This is no coincidence. I'm thinking someone needs to set up a perimeter, or at least get in Flank-2 position. Maybe even carry around one of those anti-Terrorist shovels that Barooz had last year.

If The Blog sees Marwan, run.

Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves that, if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will say, "This was their finest hour."

Had I but known......

Damnit, Steve beat me to the comment about President Handbag... :)

achem, what's that word - oh'yes SNORK @ mudstuffin, that's the freaky-ist playlist I've ever seen, please stay away from my iPod.

Snork @ Steve.

I second the motion for at oeast a perimeter, Dave. YOu can't be too careful.

Snork @ mudstuffin's playlist.

it is a conspiracy. but i am still laughing at the thought of the palace guards doing the chicken dance .... and may i add, the Macarena.

*Heaves a "*" up in an attempt to hit Lucy's post (#4), but put too much force on it, and it flew right by...*

admit it dave, you sang along after you recovered from the shock.

Snork @ muds, I'm definately picturing Mike Meyers (Austin Powers style) for #1. I mean, he's already got the Union Jack underwear, just throw a beefeater on him, give him a rifle, and multiply by 1000.

*definitely

Here's some other musically talented soldiers. These are Norwegian troops (check out the longboat patch on their sleeves). And yes this caused an international incident.

Norwegian soldiers are hot!

fivver - IAPM (not really), but it's still really funny.

Oh no! The * is coming back down! Look out! Save yourselves!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!

*
***
****
*****
*fudtheman has been crushed by a falling star*

fivver: That's hilarious!

"We screwed ya
Rawanda
Wished we coulda helped ya"

Double snork @ mudstuffin's list, and if I may be so bold as to add:
11. Muskrat Love

I always thought barry was the queen......hm.

I believe we recently had a discussion of the play list used to drive Manuel Noreiga out of his fortified residence.
The British are merely using similar techniques to protect the Queen. Would YOU breach the Manilow Line?

Dave,

It was a test. If the guards could withstand that, they could withstand ANYTHING!

}---snork-free zone---{

♫ At the Copa, Copacabana, the hottest spot north of Havana . . .♪

And this is exactly why the terrorists attacked. It was a natural reaction to being forced to hear Barry Manilow during the 2 hour tour.

love the video, fivver. :)

Would this be a good time to admit that, sometimes, deep down, I actually like Copacabana?

If it's not, then I never wrote this.

How about a few more for the song list?

12. Killer Queen.
13. London Calling.
14. Diana. (Sorry, that was bad, even by my standards!)

I would really like to see the guards do THIS.

Blimey guv'nor, them blokes were just nibbling the ol' crumpets and scones and nipping up the weckershams when some Yank piddles by and makes a big argy-bargy o'er some other Yank's great shower of musical bollocks and blogging pork pies...

*WHAP*

OK, I'll stop now.

....

cricket cricket cricket. Ok, now I'm done.

OK, final exam time for the Geezer Group. The video that Meanie just posted is a song that used to be the opening of another TV show. Name the show, or the star.

I think it was "Pat Paulsen's Half-A-Comedy-Hour", but I'm not 100% sure.

So long as Schadeboy is confessing, I did learn the lyrics to "The Wreck of the Edmond Fitzgerald" in grade 9 and I still sing it at campfires.

Or is that Neil Diamond? If so, sorry Schade, you're on your own.

Schadeboy......go lie down, you've been out in the sun too long.

15. The Name Game
Charlie, Charlie bo barlie, banana fana fo farlie...

wreck of the edmund fitzgerald was gordon lightfoot. yikes. i was in grad school then. i'm a serious geezer.

and might i add Horse with No Name to the Palace Guard playlist.

The fact that Dave said:

"I SWEAR I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP"

means

"I AM MAKING THIS UP"

You bloggers will fall for anything. Good one Dave.

Make it "Horse with no name" sung by those two guys from Good Morning Vietnam.
How about "I'll be there for you" by the Rembrandts.

I'm with you Schadeboy--I always hated "Copacabana" but a few weeks ago I was in Vegas at a piano bar, and it made for an awfully fun singalong. *ducks*

Aw c'mon. In honour of today, the most appropriate song to be playing at Buckingham Palace has gotta be the "Thong Song"

*hides to avoid being thrown out of the blog*

*comes out of hiding to sterilize brain from earwig invasion*

Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl.
With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there.
She would merengue and do the cha-cha.
And while she tried to be a star, Tony always tended bar.
Across a crowded floor, they worked from 8 till 4
They were young and they had each other
Who could ask for more...(looks around...sees everybody else staring...bows head in shame)

Yes, Punkin. I have been in the sun too long. But I live in Arizona, and since we don't have any water out here, I don't have much choice. But I'll take that invitation to lie down anyway.

Shadeboy, I'll admit it, too.

*wonders if Empress Twidget the Fanged is Federal Duck in drag disguise*

If you stand on the St. James Park side of Wellington Barracks you can hear them warming up ... hysterical to hear the theme from Star Trek and such. You also get to see the inspection prior to them marching off to the palace. (And the occasional goat or wolfhound mascot.)

Musically Challenged: Nope. When I say I'm not making something up, I'm not. They played "Copacabana." I still don't know why.

Story:

I was on a college trip to England, and crammed into the giant crowd watching the changing of the guard, when a couple of our friends who had decided not to do the cramming bit and were standing back a bit ran up to us yelling and pointing.

The Queen was in a car going behind us.

So I've now got a theory that the changing of the guard is a clever, elaborate ruse so the Queen can go to Starbucks or something every day.

Dave, they've been doing this a long time. I visited London in 1970, rose early, rushed to find a good vantage point. I dearly hoped to hear a favorite British "quick march," yes, I owned a collection. There was a flourish, snappy moves, the Drum Major swung his baton.... BRRRRRRRRRRRRR BRUMP BRRRRRRRRRRRRR BRUMP went the drums......here we go! This is it!
I got Strangers In The Night. No lie.

Thanks Fiver - that was great!

Hey, it's better than hearing the Macarena.

Dave, did you dance?

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