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May 24, 2006

DISTURBING HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR TWO YEARS AGO

(Thanks to Drew Harchick)

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I hear they can grow new ones now.

Unfortunately, this happened 2 years ago, so I think the guy might be out of luck. Although, if they can grow peni now, I bet it's only a matter of time before they master time travel and matter transportation.

Why was his...how did he...how could it...
nevermind.

I thought I remembered this story. And, indeed, I did. It is from Oct. 4th, 2004.

I knew there coudn't be THAT many Romanian old men with noisy chickens who keep them awake and, in turn, mistake said bird's head for their own penis, thus, resulting in mistakenly chopping off said organ, only to have thier dog rush up and eat it.

first off, "mistook his penis for a chicken neck"??? whoa. but second, based on this earlier link, obviously there's still hope for this guy.

Doctors said the man, who was brought in by an ambulance bleeding heavily, was now out of danger.

Though he's still mental.

Just HOW in the frick does anyone mistake their own dick for a chicken neck? Didn't he realize that there was no beak? And it wasn't squawkin'?

SuzyQ - How do you know? Where you THERE??? Hmmmm?

OK, I'm trying to reconstruct this scene in my head: A guy goes outside, let's says its dark and he can't see well. He reaches down to pick up a chicken by its neck, let's say about knee level is where a big chicken's neck would be. He grabs something, he grabs it firmly cuz he's in a killin' mood. He then proceeds to start slicing away.

He didn't feel himself grabbing himself?

He grabbed himself at knee level? Romanians must be hung like oosiks.

...or perhaps MRS. Romanian Old Man snuck in and glued a few feathers to it before she tossed the cat among the chickens and rattled the dogdish.

...are you telling me that NOBODY, out of all these Barriers (that'd be kinda like Heinleiners), has had the presence of mind to verbally associate the man in this article with "choking his chicken"?

I'm appalled.

--
Words of the Sentient:
What difference does it make to the dead...whether the mad destruction is wrought under the name of totalitarianism or the holy name of liberty or democracy? --Mohandas Gandhi

"He is out of danger"?? I don't think so.

kaz, i did, but you beat me to it.

KAZ - Um, ah...yeah, we thought of it...in fact, we were gonna say it...um, but, ahhh, well...

We had a meeting and we all decided it was just SO obvious....yeah, that's the ticket...

I don't buy the story.

Psst, KAZ -- I thought we were "Heinlein's Children". That's what Ginny called us, anyway.

Were the chicken gent not elderly, I'd be tempted to call it Darwinism in action.

Dr. Doug ... I hate to be cynical, but I think I'm with you. This does have the vague smell of "weekly world news" on it, doesn't it ...?

A elderly Romanian man mistook his penis for a chicken’s neck, cut it off and his dog rushed up and ate it

First of all, I know I'm a geezer but since when is 67 elderly? Back me up here, Dave.

Second, I thought for a minute I got this confused with this guy. I mean, you'd have to be at about 18 times the legal blood alcohol limit to mistake your shlong for a chicken neck, right?

What did the guy think the chicken was doing pressed between his thighs in the first place? Or is that a normal position for a chicken, when his wife's not in the mood?

Nah, we heinleiners have a long and dubious tradition of being crochety, opinionated, rugged individualists, and generally pissing everyone off, including the Heinlein Society...who have taken my domain name, which I mistakenly allowed to lapse. Maybe they'll give it back.

I think Heinlein's Children referrs more to those adorable hippy-type new agers, like the silly people belonging to the actual Church of All Worlds ( http://www.caw.org/ )

I'm not certain who first used the term "Heinleiner", though John Varley and Spider Robinson actually worked it into their own material.

Gotta love the ad placement for Purina Littlebites right there mid-story.

Out of danger.
Also, out one dick.

This is exactly why it is always safer to buy your chicken prekilled in a safe environment like the grocery store. Otherwise, tragedy strikes...uh okay bad use of words - tragedy severs, nope... um stalks? Tragedy will do something...

If I remember correctly, this guy appears on the Darwin Awards website as a winner

On a different tangent, this guy's emotional support dog, um, well, isn't very good at it...

*snork* @ Betsy

Squawkless No-beaked Chicken-Necked Penii wbagnfa ... um ... whut?

I'm more of an Asimovian, myself.

I'm sure this is a common mistake amongst chicken farmers

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