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May 31, 2006

ATTENTION, WAL-MART SHOPPERS

Be careful.

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First ?
It's them there wal mart terrorists !

Note to Self:

Wear Hockey Goalie Gear when visiting Fla. Take Stick. Oh and take cage as well. (May not be allowed to take cage as carry-on, but tell the Security People that Dave Barry said that you could do bring anything you wanted on the plane to Fla. and that they had better not try to search you.)

First Marwan in Home Depot now this. I think the whole 'Home Depot plan' was to direct our attention elsewhere while he sent in his cohorts to the real target. Slippery (or slithery) one that Marwan.

OOPS! I forgot that Dave was OUT of the country! May want to wait on the threat until he gets back in country, lest they stop him.

KOW,

Have you noticed that the creatures like the big box stores? Mom and Pop stores would probably shoot them in the thigh (if they had one) and ask questions later.

"A green snake fell out of a tree and wrapped around my neck," said Jarrell. "It stuck with me for the rest of my life."

So she's had this green snake wrapped around her neck for the last 60 years?

I wish Gary Larson would come out of retirement. This just reeks of the Far Side.

She says Wal-Mart workers told her the snake was not poisonous. Wal-Mart workers are herpatologists? Myself, I'd seek more professional advice.

Well-trained Walmart employee:

"No, madam, none of the snakes in our garden department are poisonous. We are running a special. Any snake that attaches itself to a customer is free with a two-plant purchase."

*snork* at fivver

Snake: "This is because I'm black, isn't it."

fivver: you took the words right outta my mouth.

which is, if you think about it, a really weird saying.

Snork @ judi

Did you get a load of the close-up of her arm? (another weird saying)

I want to know why Florida even has people trying to live there. I just don't understand. The beaches are cool I'm sure but what with the snakes& gators and whatnot....

Such a useful story! So the snake was green, but it was black? Either way, it probably wasn't poisonous; she could have eaten it without dying.

Also appears it wasn't venemous, as her reaction wasn't much different than sticking herself in the arm with two dirty nails. Folks not in Florida still need to be cautious when sticking their arms into plants as these get trucked from all over, including south of the border.

I still can't understand how Wal-M@rt can sell goods for so much less than their competitors, let alone with extra reptiles.

How do they do it?

they do it wholesale, Meanie.

this is what happens when you try to save money by combining departments. first pets and plants, next infants and household cleaners...

"Also appears it wasn't venemous, as her reaction wasn't much different than sticking herself in the arm with two dirty nails. Folks not in Florida still need to be cautious when sticking their arms into plants as these get trucked from all over, including south of the border."

Yeah - it coulda been worse, she could have been bitten by an illegal alien...

I wish Gary Larson would come out of retirement. This just reeks of the Far Side.

J of G, we are LIVING the Far Side-as this blog proves time and again!

Thankfully it wasn't in the bathroom - the Walmart restrooms are scary enough as it is without toilet snakes.

"When I brought my hand out, there was a snake attached to my arm, and it hung way down below my knee," said Jarrell.

Um, never mind...

Did they at least give her a discount on the plant?

crossgirl | 09:22 AM,

They sell infants at W@lm@art?

Well, that's Wal-Mart for you. Not only are they stuffed to the gills with marketing genius, but now they apparently know all kinds of stuff about snakes!

Good thing she didn't get glued to a toilet shortly after being bitten by the snake. Then she would have had grounds for a lawsuit.

obi wan, I had the same thought. She is probably used to long, cylindrical (sp?) objects dangling below her knees. This is WAL MART.

Now, you know the manager on duty was saying this:

"What the h*ll is this snake doing in the garden center? It's supposed to be in the pets department!"

Well, I had the perfect Far Side comic in mind, but I can't seem to find it (book's at home, so I can't even scan it.) So, instead, I give you this.

"Get these motherf---in' snakes off my motherf---in' arm!"
- Snakes On A Hausfrau

Glix - I'm picturing one with a snake hanging off a person's nose - don't remember the caption...

Nothing helpful (or funny) to say, sorry

Meanie:
CostCo sells cheaply by selling in wholesale. Wal-Mart sells cheaply by building factories in far away countries where they can pay people *almost* $3 a week, and then pay their employees dirt. You think I jest? Check out the video below. It's an hour and a half of well spent time:

(i don't know how to make the cool link-in-a-word thing, so you have to copy and paste:)
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3836296181471292925&q=Walmart

And on a lighter note (this one only takes about 30 seconds):
http://www.jibjab.com/JokeBox/JokeBox_JJOrig.aspx?movieid=122

oops, not funny.

mUFFLES- the unfunny thread is the political one. For this one it seems clear that WalMart was guilty of aiding and abetting an illegal alien - albeit a reptilian one.

sthnbelle--I think you know exactly which one I'm talking about. A man is getting on the elevator, with a snake hanging off his nose, arms, etc. A sign next to the elevator doors list several offices, such as social services or the like. The man says "Second floor, please", or something to that effect, which according to the sign is where the poison control office is.

Somwhere North: do you think they covered reptiles in the new immigration bill they passed? I'm guessing they overlooked them, the fools!

She trusted a Wal-mart employee to tell her it wasn't venemous? I think I would have asked for a second opinion . . . :-)

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