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May 29, 2006

ADVICE TO CAR RENTERS

Decline the python.

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Funny, I thought the ball python was exclusive to toilet bowls.

AGAIN?????

I've mentioned this before, but because the man of the house works for a rental company, we always drive rental cars.

And these stories scare the living crap outta me.

Extra collision insurance? Check
Extra Flood insurance? Check
Fill the tank up before the return? Check
Rodent in glove compartment? Decline
Snake on steering wheel? Decline
Lawyer under front tires? Check

"Yes, i'd like something mid-sized, 4-dr and a jaw that can detach and swallow something much larger than itself"...

Has anyone else noticed the increase in snake-related stories since the announcement of "Snakes On A Plane?"

Since when is a "2 ft. long" ball python a "large snake"? The adults are usually at least 3 feet long, a subcompact ball python at best. That's just sloppy reporting.

So maybe it was a baby ball python. Maybe mom and dad were "sleeping" in the trunk and they would have found them when they went to get their luggage.

Does that matter? What matters is, Dave is blogging!

How's the Mother Country, Dave? Any spotted dick sightings?

under minor,

A 2 foot snake is NOT little when it is a snake. I would leave with great haste if said subcomapct snake were in my vicinity.

Hey, I sent that one in! It was in the Courier- Journal - that guy drove from one end of the state to the other (vertically, that is) and didn't notice it... How could you not notice it?

Jeff, who wants old spot when they can have all
this

And what the hell is a crumpet...Really.

Kathy...how does somebody drive vertically?

Relax - it's just a BASE-ball python, not the deluxe version. If it had been a spitter, he would have been ejected.

Ancient Chinese proverb say - Baseball wrong - man with four balls cannot walk.

Yeah, Annie, but it's easier for the Ump to say "walk" than "hobble" ... merely sayin' ...

Update:

After further investigation, the Paducah Police Department discovered that the previous renter of the aforementioned vehicle had just returned from a trip to Thailand . . . where he had (allegedly) pursued newly-discoveredl remedies for sinus congestion.



*Presses "oops" hyperlink button* See link below:

http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_sep2004/SnakeManu.jpg

"hello On-Star speaking"

"there's a 2 ft. snake in the front seat, and he's cutting off my airway"

"sir, there's no need to panic, just give him one of the live mice in the glove compartment."

"mmmmphflrble"

"oh, and sir, if you are still conscious, the 'snake-skin' option you signed for did not refer to upholstery."

Wait, so the guy sees what he thinks is a plastic python draped over his console, and he just goes "ha ha, funny" and starts driving?

First, either plastic/rubber snakes are getting way too realistic these days (I've never seen one I couldn't immediately identify as fake), or the guy just doesn't know a real snake when he sees it.

Second, even if you thought it was fake, wouldn't you give it a closer look, or at least want to get it off your console? If I thought it was a fake snake, I would've probably picked it up to get it off my console, at which point, realizing that it is not a fake, the snake would've gone flying further than any snake has flown before, assuming that they sometimes fly when we're not looking.


Oops...I mean that *I*, realizing that it is not a snake, would've sent the snake flying. Not that the snake suddenly realized that it was not a fake. Where's Mr. Grammar Person when you need him?

are there extra special 24 reruns on tonight, or does Dave not realize that the season is over? Or is that an automatic post that he forgot to cancel?

Who cares? It's a chance to make fun of...er...write about the show some more!

It's a new pic. Maybe in the next season, Jack auditions for "Singin' In The Rain" in between his fix of thigh shootin' goodness

*snork* at Insom!

Betsi, I wondered the same thing. I think he's just afraid to let go and get on with the rest of his life.

*snork* @ Kaf

Nah, I doubt Kiefer can let go of the gun. He'd be thigh-shootin' in the rain.

somebody forgot to cue the milk, 'cause I don't see the rain

Ball pythons are docile snakes but to the unaware person, they are mean, evil and probably packed to the brim with venom! That's just not the case with ball pythons. They are actually great pets and snakes in general.


Regards,
Ron Crawford, Ball Python Breeder
http://www.RCReptiles.com

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