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May 30, 2006

A REALLY BAD NAME FOR A ROCK BAND

A POSSE OF CASSOWARIES

(Also The Marauding Cassowaries, as well as Hungry Cassowaries. We firmly believe that no rock band with "Cassowaries" in its name would get much air play.)

(Thanks to Pete)

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...although the Cyclone-Larry-Bearing Cassowaries makes for some good assonance, if not a GNFARB.

Cassowaries anagrams to ASIAS ESCROW...hmmmm

"The critically endangered and famously testy flightless bird, known for its ability to disembowel humans with its razor-sharp claws"

Polly want a poison cracker?

Ok - never going to England, Florida OR Austrailia.

*vows to never complain about black flies ever again*

I'll never forget the day my friend, John, and I were sitting in the living room of his house and suddenly looked up because an emu was walking by his window on the porch....

It had escaped from the back of a truck or something and the owners were close behind and caught it pretty quick...

But there was this brief moment of silence as we both looked at the emu, it looked at us and then walked away. We looked at each other and then started laughing. It was just too surreal....

(and for the record, this happened in Hot Springs, AR, where emu sightings are not that common...)

OK, here's a quick list of the gnfrb's that I found in just about 30 seconds:

Cyclone Larry (obviously)
Luckless Residents
Disemboweled Humans
Running Amok
Famously Testy
New Dilemna
and...
Flying Foxes

♪ Hey, hey, we're the Cassowaries!
People say we cassowarie around ♫

Nah. Guess not.

NOT Flying Foxes of the Yard, I s'pose ...

and, "The critically endangered and famously testy flightless bird, known for its ability to disembowel humans with its razor-sharp claws"

what a lovely pet!! and such lovely plumage!

Cassowarie casserole?

Eww, she looked at their droppings and there was no food in it...so what was in it then?

Wow. I love birds. That is a beautiful (though big) bird.

I love the photo of the woman hanging laundry with the vicious bird glaring at her. Possible caption:

"Photo of Mrs. Dimwitty, of Stupid-upon-Numbnuts, seconds before she was disemboweled. She is survived by her son, Retardington, who, at the time of his mother's attack, had his head caught in a mayonaise jar. The washing had to be totally redone."

To combine a couple of posts here I would just like to remind you...

"That is a beautiful (though big) bird."
that can
"disembowel humans with its razor-sharp claws"

Australians tend to be very blase about lethal creatures. My uncle (Australian) had a red bellied black - which is an extremely poisonous snake (read: get to the hospital in 20 minutes or less) in his backyard, called the snake guy who dutifully came, captured it and then released it down the block since red bellied blacks are a protected species while humans are not.

So a few birds in the backyard, razor claws or not, at least you have a fighting chance...

Did anyone else click on the picture that mentions what good swimmers they are, only to continue to the next paragraph in the article where "...one recently fell into a backyard swimming pool and had to be rescued. "

To paraphrase CR.~~ A beautifully lethal bird.

Jack B. could train this bird.

Those Jehovah's Witnesses will do anything to get into your yard. Now they are dressing like big birds.

She is saying, "Sorry but I'm a Catholic."

Betsi ~ "Eww, she looked at their droppings and there was no food in it...so what was in it then?"

People. Cassowary poop is PEOPLE!!!

Brainy J, he who fell in the pool was the guy who was chased by the cassowary - the fall guy, not the fowl guy.

hahaha...and I've never even seen that movie

A friend of mine in Gainesville had 2 Emu that escaped from their yard, while rounding them up one used its foot and struck my friend in the face and shattered his cheekbone, needless to say, the emu didn't live long after this.

I SNORK at Punkin's caption!

*snork* echo @ punkin.
Retardington Dimwitty, with the mayo jar on his head, is an only child, as this was the family to which the Angels sang,
"Oh, your baby's gone down the drain hole
Your baby's gone down the plug
The poor little thing was so skinny and thin
'E should have been washed in a jug
[In a juuuug]"

Southern cassowary chick in forest habitat with local man

Is some of that a hat, or is that all his hair? Aside from the flower.

Apparently, Australians take their laundry very seriously. I mean, is it really worth risking disembowlement?

Cowardly - they only attack when cornered. This one is a friend of the family. Although a real friend would at least, while standing there, help with the laundry.

A cassowary ate my baby!

From the photo, I'm guessing that the only known defense against being disemboweled by a cassowary is B.O.

Yikes! Paraphrased from Wikipedia:

* They have a dagger-like middle claw that is 5 inches long.

* They can run 32 MPH.

* They can jump 5 feet in the air.

* They are good swimmers.

* The Guiness Book lists them as the "world's most dangerous bird."

* Over the years, they have lost their natural fear of humans.

I sure as heck wouldn't be hanging laundry next to one.

clark - when the emu looked at y'all, did it cassowary eye on you?

(A Case of Pissowaries wbagnfa ... um ... Australian Cowboy band?)

Rather than a band name, it works better as a person's name. New Irish singing sensation Cass O'Wary.

On another note, as I was browsing cassowary stuff on the Net, I just learned that Australia's Cassowary Advisory Group (CAG) -- has warning signs posted around that say, quote, "Be Cass-O-Wary!"

*Groan*

OK, someone tell me what this sign means.

Are they merely illustrating what would happen if you hit one with your car? (I think I can figure that out for myself, thanks.) But the After is before the Before -- so maybe they're saying that cassowaries are able rise from the dead? Because they certainly look evil enough to be capable of it.


I think that's before and after it eats you. As for the before being after the after (huh?) that's probably one of those southern hemisphere things, like toilets flushing in the wrong direction.

Big Bird!

On XTC's "Drums and Wireless, BBC Radio sessions 77-89" the fabulous John Peel (if you don't know look him up, 'cause he's dead!) does indeed introduce the Cassowary's from Hell.

Cassowaries?

I just Googled that XTC/Peel reference. The band he introduces after the Cassowaries From Hell is called Inevitable Groin.

*snork*

Wavey, I believe the bottom one is a legitimate large-testy-flightless-bird-crossing sign and the other is a defaced regular sign. I'm afraid the worker who installed them did not have the forsight to see this prank coming or i'm sure he would have rethought his placement.

also, what about cassowary castaways. might be a GNFARB. They were sent to a desert island for their noticably evil features, foul tempers and razor sharp talons with which those tempers were backed.

Cassowary anagrams to:

Woas, Scary! <-- first reaction upon seeing one face to face
Cross Away <-- let it have the right-of-way, crossing the road
Car Says Ow! <-- what happens if you hit one

"If I was a Cassowary
On the plains of Timbuctoo,
I would eat a missionary,
Cassock, bands and hymn-book, too."

Bishop "Soapy Sam" Wilberforce (19th cent)

Distant relative of the velociraptor?

Am I the only one who read that first line as:

The critically endangered and famously tasty flightless bird

Don ~ Yes.

/begin Dino Dweeb Alert
Cheesewiz -- many paleontologists, including John Ostrom and Bob Bakker have used the way a cassowary fights as a model for dromeosaur (read: raptor) hunting. Sort of like kick-boxing whilst wearing knife-tipped boots. Evidently cassowaries have a reputation for being the zookeeper's worst enemy, disemboweling far more happless animal handlers than all the zoo lions, tigers and bears combined. No wonder Crichton picked their ancient cousins for the bad guys in his book.
/end Dino Dweeb Alert

A possible punk-rock band name my wife and I came up with: Toxic Sock Syndrome

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