24

OK, here is the situation:

Jack Bauer has been captured by evil Chinese actors from a previous-season subplot and is being held prisoner on a Chinese freighter under horrible conditions. The only ray of hope is that Audrey is not on the ship.

Edgar is still dead.

Those are the main plot points. We do not expect anything to happen tonight.

Comments

[snickers]

i'm guessing 3rd...

[Layzeeboy]

First! And I even took time to grab a beer.

[snickers]

Or first!

[snickers]

I was first, even with a cat lying on one of my arms so I had to type 1-handed...!

[snickers]

Where the hell is everyone? We finished grilling hours ago!

[bbescuela]

too...drunk...to...typ............................

[Jeannie]

YAWN!!!

[Jeff Meyerson]

Uh Dave...you do know that 24 is over, right? That it won't be back until January?

Of course, you could watch out for Kiefer's world drink-strip-and-urinate on a Christmas tree tour. I hear London is a favorite spot.

[Renee (the First)]

SNORK at the horrible conditions!

[AnotherBob]

Umm... is he still going to be doing this every Monday? Can he really find that many new ways to convey what little information we know until January?

Oh, right, what am I thinking, this is DAVE. Of course he can.

[mikey]

Well, at least I won't have to wait for the Left Coast feed before joining in...

[AnotherBob]

Actually, at this point, we could probably come up with a whole season by ourselves to keep us busy until next year.

[I'm Betty Lou]

The way the networks are cutting back on budgets, I won't be surprised to see the title changed to "23" next season ... And then?

Oh, the horror.

[mikey]

7:03 - After a knowing nod from the driver -- who looks like an aggrieved German intelligence agent -- President Handbag breaks free of the federal marshals, who prove no more competent than CTU agents in keeping high-profile prisoners in check.

[AnotherBob]

They could do a "23" with the time changes. Either that or a "25."

I think Mikey has the right idea. We should just collectively make up one hour a week.

I'm not going to continure mikey's story though, becuase at the moment I've got nothing.

*thinks*

[wolfie]

I miss Chloe.
*is slightly sad*
I miss the speed blogging with my fav people.
*is really sad*

[mikey]

7:05 - Chloe and her Flamboyantly Straight Ex slip into his closed store on Rodeo Drive to "try on some shoes". During a moment of Passionate Fitting, a box explodes on a back shelf.

[AnotherBob]

7:06 - Terrorists appear from behind an isle of shoe boxes and attempt to abduct Chloe. Even though they have guns, she still thwarts then using nothing but a pair of stilettos.

[AnotherBob]

them*

[Kafaleni]

The evil Chinese Mafia guys are forcing Jack to star in a theatre production of "Singin' In The Rain" co-starring the late, great President Manilow

[tropichunt.com guy™]

BLEEP! BLOOP! BLEEP! BLOOP!

What the heck am I doing??!

There's no Jack Bauer Power Hour™ tonight!
There's no JackSack™!
There's no ChloeSack™!

What the heck is going on?!?

And, most importantly, is Steve going to be doing a recap for us?

[mikey]

7:11 - Acting on a hunch -- or a really transparent plot development -- Audrey commandeers a boat heading for Catalina Island. As the boat sails out of frame, we see its name: "S.S. Minnow".

[Jessica R.]

Chloe has a taser and an endless supply of computer lingo. I think she'd taser the terrorist's and confuse them with jargon and throw ex-hubby at them. She is still on his insurance policy after all!

[KOW]

Ah...withdrawl is a hell of a thing. Hi my name is KOW, and I'm a 24aholic. I wonder how addictedto24 is holding out?

[Baylink]

> Jack Bauer has been captured by evil Chinese actors from a previous-season subplot

Who do you think you are? David E. Kelley?

[AnotherBob]

7:15 - Edgar, watching from the Big Krispy Kreme In The Sky, is pissed that he was killed but not Awwdrey. In retribution, he uses his powers to create a storm over Audrey's boat.

[mikey]

7:12 - As the smoke clears from the store, one "terrorist" remains standing, holding a shoe to his ear. "Sorry about that, Chloe," says Special Agent Don Adams.

[Jessica R.]

David E. Kelley? Didn't he come up with Doogie Howser, MD?

[mikey]

7:16 - Audrey cries.

[mikey]

Commercial - Victoria's Secret announces the new IPEX iPod, with 15 gigabreasts of memory.

[daisymae]

Snork @ mikey for 15 gigabreasts

[AnotherBob]

*snork*

[daisymae]

The only reason I'm not having extreme withdrawal is there is a Rerun of Season 3 on WGN on Sunday nights 8 - 10 pm. When it ends, I hope another network starts rerunning Season 4.

7:17 Curtis sets up a perimeter and Chloe sends vectors to Jack's PDA...but wait...we don't know where Jack's PDA is...maybe the evil Chinese have it? Oh, woe!

Anybody want to volunteer to shoot somebody in the thigh?...I know let's shoot Audrey in the thigh...right...we'll have Mikey do it, he'll do anything!

[mikey]

7:19 - Somewhere in the Los Angeles Forest, a bloody hand shoots out of an unmarked fresh grave.

[daisymae]

(pssst, Mikey, that's from Carrie

[daisymae]

Tosses ) up there.

[Kafaleni]

David E. Kelley is the Michael Jordan of televsion production. It's not that he's better or worse than the rest, it's just that he takes more shots.

Although, unlike Jordan, Kelley gets to come home to Michelle Pfeiffer.

[wolfie]

7:21 ~ Chloe finds a lovely pair of kitten heels to match her sweaterset and ChloeSack before heading out to tazer drunks in bars until Jack finds his PDA and she can send it vectors and victors and the recipe for MickieD's secret sauce.

[daisymae]

7:22 After trying on every pair of shoes int he store, Chloe succeeds in locating Jack's ship via satellite. Just as she sends it to CTU from her laptop, Morris shows up with...MORE SHOES!

[mikey]

(daisymae -- They've already stolen everything from every action movie in the past two decades. I'm merely extending the Perimeter of Pilferage.)

[daisymae]

7:24 Audrey says, "How come she gets to try on all the shoes?" and heads for the shoe shop.

[jtcorey]

Clue to next season--!

The phrase "JACK BAUER WAS BEING ROUGHLY HANDLED BY CHINESE MEN" can be re-arranged to spell "BARRY MANILOW"...erm...something.

[daisymae]

extend away, mikey, I'm with ya

[wolfie]

7:26 ~ Chloe tazers Awwwdrey for trying to move in on her shoe action.

[AnotherBob]

7:30 - Awwdrey wakes up on a beach. The only thing she remembers is that she was on a boat heading for a shoe store. She takes a look at her surroundings, and then proceeds to cry.

[daisymae]

7:26 Audrey calls Martha and tells her about the shoe sale, and Martha, after patting Aaron fondly on the shoulder, heads for the shoe shop.

[AnotherBob]

damn... too late

7:30 - Awwdrey wakes up on a beach. The only thing she remembers is being tazered by Chloe in a shoe store. She takes a look at her surroundings, and then proceeds to cry.

[mikey]

7:24 - Nobody in CTU sees Chloe's incoming message. They're all in the bathroom for the next half-hour.

[daisymae]

7:35 Chloe tasers Martha when she tries to enter the store, saying, "Mine, they're all mine."

[AnotherBob]

7:36 - Meanwhile, the recently escaped Prez Handbag is in the next department looking for a new purse.

[daisymae]

7:38 Martha calls Bill Buchanan to find out what's happening to her husband. She catches Bill flagrante delecto with...Karen, who when she hears abut the shoe sale, demands to know the vectors, and heads there herself.

[wolfie]

7:36 and 1/2 ~ Pres Handbag holds up a new purse for Chloes' inspection and asks 'Does this handbag make my sack look big?'

[mikey]

7:40 - President Allstate's brother is seen wandering aimlessly around a studio backlot, looking for something to do.

[daisymae]

7:42 Chloe grabs her kitten heels and a luscious pair of lime green silk mules, her laptop and orders Morris to take her back to CTU. With Jack out of communication, they need her.

[AnotherBob]

7:40 - Meanwhile, in a Secret Meeting Room, the Evil Bald Puppetmaster and the Bluetooth Group are celebrating the success of their plan. It is revealed that they arranged for there to be a shoe sale at that store on that day in order to lure almost the entire cast into one place.

-cut to commercial-

[Antonio]

7:45 - Edgar's ghost comes back, but then chokes on a ghost twinkie and procedes to die again.

[daisymae]

7:44 Martha arrives, sees the jumble of shoes...and starts trying them on. She sees Prez Handbag in the purse department and shoots him in the thigh. (yay, some gratuitous violence).

[mikey]

Commercial - Dodge shows off its Super Duper Extended Cab Pickup, with enough room to hold all deceased cast members from last season.

[AnotherBob]

7:45 - Store security attempts to apprehend Martha, but she throws a tantrum and they slowly back away.

[mikey]

7:46 - The Chinese Subplotters poke around the JackSack, discover a car battery with a cellphone adapter.

[wolfie]

7:46 ~ Chinese subpolt extra whips out Jack PDA to make several expensive (peak hour even) long distance calls to his family only to discover it has, finally, had it's battery drained. After an unsuccessful search for a charger that fits, he gives up and tosses it back into Jacks cell.

[AnotherBob]

Ok, let me get the ending. I've got a great cliffhanger.

[wolfie]

subpolt = 1 step below wearing a red shirt. He will swim with the sharks soon.

[AnotherBob]

Actually, nevermind. Feel free to take the ending. I just have a good idea for Audrey.

[Jan]

7:35 - Through her tears, Audrey sees evil-eyed creatures lurking in the distance. She worries that they have set up a perimeter....and cries more tears.

[daisymae]

7:50 After shooting the presidential handbag in the thigh, Martha picks out a pair of leopard mules and calls Aaron to pick her up immediately. He agrees.

[wolfie]

Go for it AB. We have an entire off season we are gonna have to fill here. We need cliffhangers.

[mikey]

7:47 - In a four-way splitscreen with serif clock fonts, we see Chloe, Martha, Audrey and President Manilow all trying on ladies' shoes.

[Jan]

sorry folks, timing very wrong

[daisymae]

snork @ mikey

[AnotherBob]

that's ok, we'll make a summary at the end and put everything in order

[Mike Antonucci]

7:01 - Bad dialogue.

7:02 - Kim is kidnapped.

7:08 - Something implausible happens.

7:13 - Character appears, performs some vital service for, or provides plot information to, Jack, then disappears, never to be seen nor heard from again.

7:18 - Romantic interlude with Audrey. She cries.

7:25 - Unknown character says something cryptic.

7:30 - Commercial for bra, SUV, movie based on comic book.

7:36 - Jack walks into a room, arms extended, holding an automatic.

7:42 - Political backstabbing at CTU.

7:45 - Jack interrogates a bad guy, who refuses to speak until something unspeakable is done to him.

7:47 - Someone is a mole.

7:52 - Bad guys sneak into CTU, posing as Fuller Brush men, even though no one at CTU is old enough to remember Fuller Brush men.

7:55 - Under torture, bad guy explains to Jack that a group of Fuller Brush men will sneak into CTU and plant an unidentified prop with blinking lights and buzzing sound.

7:58 - Close-up of unidentified prop with blinking lights and buzzing sound.

7:59 - Scenes from next week, which include bad dialogue, Kim in danger, explosions (with fireballs), and unidentified prop. Jack shouts.

7:59:55 - High winds, with a chance of showers. Your complete local forecast at 11.

[daisymae]

7:50 Karen enters shoe store and asks where she can find the Size 9s.

[AnotherBob]

7:52 - Evil Bald Puppetmaster is talking into a Bluetooth Headset. He says "Execute Phase 1." We faintly hear the person at the other end say "Affirmative."

-cut to commercial-

[daisymae]

Well...until next week. Thanks guys. That was almost as good as watching the show.

[mikey]

7:53 - The zombie in the Los Angeles Forest finds a discarded gun and shoots itself in the thigh.

[AnotherBob]

7:58 - Awwdrey is running from the monsters. She runs into and is knocked out by a stone pillar. Just before she blacks out, she sees the shape of the pillar. It is a foot, with only four toes! (LOST reference)

7:59 - Chloe approaches the cashier desk. Upon seeing her approach, the cashier struggles to hide what appears to be a headset of some kind. Chloe reaches the register, and the cashier rings up her shoes. She swipes her credit card, but then the cashier gives her a very sober look, and says gravely, "Your card has been denied."

-smash cut to clock, winding down the last seconds to 8-

[wolfie]

G'nite daisymae.

Wonder if Steve will recap this for us?
Wonder if Dave is wondering if he should seek therapy for us?
Wonder if Chloe will get to change her clothes for next season?

*waves g'night* to everyone.

[AnotherBob]

Since wolfie's going, I guess I'll put this all in order. Does anybody have anything else to add?

[AnotherBob]

Oh, and if anybody could come up with a title that would be great. I've got nothing.

[mikey]

If it's not too late...

Commercial - The new Fox summer series, Stalking With Celebrities, which features D-listers teaming up with the public to annoy A-listers.

[Kafaleni]

24... hour 25, when the hallucingens kick in.

[mikey]

Title? "25", of course.

[mellio]

"Those are the main plot points. We do not expect anything to happen tonight."

Ha ha! That's what you think ;)

[AnotherBob]

24 Episode #601 "25"

Writers: mikey, wolfie, AnotherBob, daisymae, Antonio, Jan
Director: mikey

7:03 - After a knowing nod from the driver -- who looks like an aggrieved German intelligence agent -- President Handbag breaks free of the federal marshals, who prove no more competent than CTU agents in keeping high-profile prisoners in check.

7:05 - Chloe and her Flamboyantly Straight Ex slip into his closed store on Rodeo Drive to "try on some shoes". During a moment of Passionate Fitting, a box explodes on a back shelf.

7:06 - Terrorists appear from behind an isle of shoe boxes and attempt to abduct Chloe. Even though they have guns, she still thwarts them using nothing but a pair of stilettos.

7:11 - Acting on a hunch -- or a really transparent plot development -- Audrey commandeers a boat heading for Catalina Island. As the boat sails out of frame, we see its name: "S.S. Minnow".

7:12 - As the smoke clears from the store, one "terrorist" remains standing, holding a shoe to his ear. "Sorry about that, Chloe," says Special Agent Don Adams.

7:15 - Edgar, watching from the Big Krispy Kreme In The Sky, is pissed that he was killed but not Awwdrey. In retribution, he uses his powers to create a storm over Audrey's boat.

7:16 - Audrey cries.

Commercial - Victoria's Secret announces the new IPEX iPod, with 15 gigabreasts of memory.

7:17 Curtis sets up a perimeter and Chloe sends vectors to Jack's PDA...but wait...we don't know where Jack's PDA is...maybe the evil Chinese have it? Oh, woe!

7:19 - Somewhere in the Los Angeles Forest, a bloody hand shoots out of an unmarked fresh grave.

7:21 ~ Chloe finds a lovely pair of kitten heels to match her sweaterset and ChloeSack before heading out to tazer drunks in bars until Jack finds his PDA and she can send it vectors and victors and the recipe for MickieD's secret sauce.

7:22 After trying on every pair of shoes int he store, Chloe succeeds in locating Jack's ship via satellite. Just as she sends it to CTU from her laptop, Morris shows up with...MORE SHOES!

7:24 Audrey says, "How come she gets to try on all the shoes?" and heads for the shoe shop. Nobody in CTU sees Chloe's incoming message. They're all in the bathroom for the next half-hour.

7:26 ~ Audrey calls Martha and tells her about the shoe sale, and Martha, after patting Aaron fondly on the shoulder, heads for the shoe shop. Chloe tazers Awwwdrey for trying to move in on her shoe action. Pres Handbag holds up a new purse for Chloes' inspection and asks 'Does this handbag make my sack look big?'

7:30 - Awwdrey wakes up on a beach. The only thing she remembers is being tazered by Chloe in a shoe store. She takes a look at her surroundings, and then proceeds to cry.

7:35 Chloe tasers Martha when she tries to enter the store, saying, "Mine, they're all mine." Through her tears, Audrey sees evil-eyed creatures lurking in the distance. She worries that they have set up a perimeter....and cries more tears.

7:36 - Meanwhile, the recently escaped Prez Handbag is in the next department looking for a new purse.

7:38 Martha calls Bill Buchanan to find out what's happening to her husband. She catches Bill flagrante delecto with...Karen, who when she hears abut the shoe sale, demands to know the vectors, and heads there herself.

7:40 - President Allstate's brother is seen wandering aimlessly around a studio backlot, looking for something to do. Meanwhile, in a Secret Meeting Room, the Evil Bald Puppetmaster and the Bluetooth Group are celebrating the success of their plan. It is revealed that they arranged for there to be a shoe sale at that store on that day in order to lure almost the entire cast into one place.

Commercial - Dodge shows off its Super Duper Extended Cab Pickup, with enough room to hold all deceased cast members from last season.

7:42 Chloe grabs her kitten heels and a luscious pair of lime green silk mules, her laptop and orders Morris to take her back to CTU. With Jack out of communication, they need her.

7:44 Martha arrives, sees the jumble of shoes...and starts trying them on. She sees Prez Handbag in the purse department and shoots him in the thigh. (yay, some gratuitous violence).

7:45 - Edgar's ghost comes back, but then chokes on a ghost twinkie and procedes to die again. Store security attempts to apprehend Martha, but she throws a tantrum and they slowly back away.

7:46 - The Chinese Subplotters poke around the JackSack, discover a car battery with a cellphone adapter. Chinese subpolt extra whips out Jack PDA to make several expensive (peak hour even) long distance calls to his family only to discover it has, finally, had it's battery drained. After an unsuccessful search for a charger that fits, he gives up and tosses it back into Jacks cell.

7:47 - In a four-way splitscreen with serif clock fonts, we see Chloe, Martha, Audrey and President Manilow all trying on ladies' shoes.

7:50 After shooting the presidential handbag in the thigh, Martha picks out a pair of leopard mules and calls Aaron to pick her up immediately. He agrees. Karen enters shoe store and asks where she can find the Size 9s.

7:52 - Evil Bald Puppetmaster is talking into a Bluetooth Headset. He says "Execute Phase 1." We faintly hear the person at the other end say "Affirmative."

Commercial - The new Fox summer series, Stalking With Celebrities, which features D-listers teaming up with the public to annoy A-listers.

7:53 - The zombie in the Los Angeles Forest finds a discarded gun and shoots itself in the thigh.

7:58 - Awwdrey is running from the monsters. She runs into and is knocked out by a stone pillar. Just before she blacks out, she sees the shape of the pillar. It is a foot, with only four toes! (LOST reference)

7:59 - Chloe approaches the cashier desk. Upon seeing her approach, the cashier struggles to hide what appears to be a headset of some kind. Chloe reaches the register, and the cashier rings up her shoes. She swipes her credit card, but then the cashier gives her a very sober look, and says gravely, "Your card has been denied."

-smash cut to clock, winding down the last seconds to 8:00-

[AnotherBob]

I wonder what Dave will think when he sees that....

[mikey]

Thanks to everyone for playing, and special thanks to AnotherBob for the wrap-up! I think we can all now consider ourselves honorary members of the Bluetooth Group.

[Suzy Q]

Aw, crap! I am SO late to the game tonight. No one told me we were blogging!

All the action seems to have been already blogged. I feel so....useless. *snif* And I need shoes.

Belated 25 countdown checklist:

wine: check

dinner: check. beanie-weenies tonight.

totally missing out on all the fill-in fun: check. and damn.

Being able to read all the great comments and "plot points" by other bloggers: priceless.

Blog on, all!

[Steve]

The following takes place between 7 am and 8 am

7:00 am – Curtis arrives at CTU. After searching forChloe and most importantly Jack, he realizes that someone must have taken them hostage, but he has no idea where they are, and he dashes out to his to look for them.

7:02 – Mrs. Manilow watches as Manilow drives away in his limousine, and turns to “high five” Cheney Looking Guy (CLG). CLG doesn't realize this is coming, and when she slaps him straight in the center of his face, CLG falls over.

7:03 – Jack, very strategically, remains passed out in the middle of a dark room aboard the ship.

7:04 – Audrey confronts one of the CTU agents about Jack's whereabouts, and CTU agent tells her he has no idea where Jack is. Audrey bursts into tears. The CTU agent backs up slowly and tells her he'll try and find out what happened. He turns around and runs.

7:06 – Scary Shari exits the computer room at CTU, and goes back to her workstation. She looks around, and decides it's safe to continue her solitaire game.

7:07 – Chloe, on her way home, stops at a gas station. She looks around, leans in close to the gas pump, and presses several buttons on the key pad. The gas pump price resets to 25 cents, and Chloe starts to pump gas.

7:08 – On a hunch, Curtis sets up a perimeter at the nearest McDonald's.

7:09 – Miles is yelling into his cell phone and pulls rank on the secret service agent on the phone, telling him that he's number two at CTU. The secret service agent on the other end tells Miles that he completely believes that. Then he tells Miles that Manilow is under investigation, and they're looking for an unnamed accomplice. Miles screams like a little girl and drops the phone.

7:10 – As a Chinese agent peers into a door's window on the ship, Jack, appearing to be completely passed out still, rolls over with his back after from the window.

7:11 – A convenience store.

7:12 – Chloe, driving home, realizes it's a bit odd that there are no cars on the roads anywhere. She hits a button on her dashboard, and we see every traffic light on the road she's driving on turn to green exactly at the same time.

Commercial

7:17 – A maintenance man empties trashcans around CTU. He accidentally brushes Scary Shari's shoulder while trying to reach for her trashcan, and she screams at him, saying that she'll sue for harassment! The maintenance man runs off.

7:19 – Curtis drives off from the McDonald's, all the Egg McMuffins completely secured. He tries again to reach Jack on the his cell phone, but can't reach him. Curtis calls Bill's cell phone.

7:22 – Audrey realizes that she can try and call Jack. She dials the number, just as her cell phone runs out of battery. Audrey bursts into tears.

7:23 – The Chinese guard, sensing that something is not quite right, opens the door to the room they've been keeping Jack in and goes in. Just as he reaches Jack, who rolls over, trips the guard, knocking him unconscious. Jack very professionally continues to be asleep.

7:25 – Bill's cell phone rings, and it's Curtis. Bill realizes that something is wrong, mainly because Curtis tells him that something is wrong. Bill tries to call Jack, and gets the message “The customer you are trying to reach is on a boat headed to China. We can connect you for a charge of $52.23 per minute.”. Bill is amazed at this price, and can't believe the cell phone company is offering him a discount rate, and decides to make the call.

7:28 – Miles, in a complete panic, heads back to CTU.

Commercial

7:34 – A second Chinese guard goes past the room where Jack is being held, and sees that the first Chinese guard is on the floor. He grabs Jack and drags him out into the hallway of the ship. Jack takes this opportunity to sleep some more.

7:35 – Bill reaches Jack's cell phone! But it's only a message: “Hi, this is Jack. I'm out of range right now. If this is a terrorist emergency, please press one. If you'd like a bomb disarmed, please press two. If you'd like someone's thigh shot, please press three. If you have any other needs, please press four, and you'll be connected to someone that can help you.”.

7:36 – Miles reaches CTU. The guard there has no idea who he is. He shows them his ID card, and the guard tells him that the last time someone showed him an ID card like that, they came into CTU and set off a gas canister, and he's not going to let THAT happen again.

7:38 – Bill presses “4”. Chloe's cell phone rings just as she arrives in front of her house, and she answers. Bill quickly explains that Jack is missing, and they need her help. Chloe runs inside her house.

7:40 - Commercial

7:45 – The Chinese guard that has Jack drags him into the top deck of the boat. Another guard is out on deck, smoking a cigarette. He sees the guard dragging Jack, goes to help. He grabs Jack's arm. Out of pure instinct, Jack's elbow smashes the guy right in the face. The guy drops his cigarette, and it rolls down the deck. Strange foreshadowing music plays.

7:47 - Audrey sees a pay phone, and runs for it. She digs in her purse, trying to find enough money to make a phone call. She realizes she has none, and bursts into tears.

7:49 – Chloe runs towards the front door of her house and we hear “Chloe identified”, and the doors open by themselves. Chloe yells “Chloe ID: 4 8 15 16 23 42”, and the whole wall of her living room swings around to reveal a really, really big computer.

7:51 – The guards on deck start hitting Jack, while Jack continues to be completely passed out, waiting for his big chance. The cigarette that fell to the ground earlier rolls towards some large leaking gas canisters that were there by an obvious plot device.

7:53 – Scary Shari, obviously distraught, goes into the lady's room to freshen up. She goes to wash her hands, and sees her reflection in the mirror. She sees her hand touching her other hand, looks straight into the mirror, and decides she's going to sue herself for harassment.

7:54 – Audrey sees a squirrel. Audrey bursts into tears.

7:55 – Madam Haig calls Bill asks him if anyone at CTU called someone to tell them the curfew in LA was over.

7:56 – Miles tries to storm past the guards, and they taser him.

7:57 – Chloe hits a big red button on her computer console, one labeled “In Case of Jack Going Missing At The End Of An Episode”. Immediately, the computer screen switches to an overhead shot of Jack being beaten up on the deck of the Chinese ship.

7:58 – The gas canisters aboard the ship explode, knocking everyone off their feet. In another obvious plot device, Jack – still passed out – falls into a life boat attached to the side of the main boat. Another explosion. Then another. Then several more just to prove that there are a lot of explosions going on. Jack's boat is throw off and away from the main boat by the force of the explosions. The last thing we see is Jack fast asleep in the life boat as the last of the Chinese boat sinks.

7:59 – Jack wakes up, and wonders where the heck he is.

8:00 – Time's up!

[Steve]

"- Edgar's ghost comes back, but then chokes on a ghost twinkie and procedes to die again. "

LOL

[mikey]

Suzy Q -- not to worry, plenty of unshot thighs left in the broiler. If Dave is so kind as to post a plot summary next week, we may have enough pent-up material to run a double-episode...

[SallyRogers]

Steve, Thanks very much for providing a realistic episode of 24. I will sleep so much better now...

[mikey]

Oh, and since I'm still admiring everyone's work, props to Steve and Original Mike for continuing their fine efforts from the season. We don't need no stinkin' hiatus!

[ArcticAl]

Thanks so much for filling the void in my life, guys and gals. You gave me a fair number of snorks to ease the tension.

I love you all. See you next week for the next episode.

[homeybeef]

I......love....this.....place!

[Evil Network Notegiver]

Not so fast, people! The network has some script changes:

Shoes - we need product placement - work in Timberland and Jimmy Choo.

Steve - we loooove your idea of Jack sleeping nearly the entire episode, and we need you to continue that for at least, say, 5 more episodes. Kiefer kinda over-celebrated his new contract, so the only shots we have of him are um, sleeping it off.

Chloe's reversible living room - what a unique concept! But we'll need a wardrobe change - when the wall flips to reveal the massive computer, put her in a black, skintight catsuit, something that goes with that sweater. Throw in a stripper pole.

Audrey's crying a lot. Work in endorsements from Kleenex and Zoloft.

Another Bob - 'smashcut' is one word. You'll never work in this town again.

Evil Chinese guys are so '90's. We need a new race of bad guys. Make that a Tibetan freighter. With evil Canadians working for an HMO.

That's it for now, people. Chop, chop - we only have an 'hour'! Har! Looove that line - work it into the script. I'll check in on you after my botox colon-rinse.

[Spiny Norman]

Yeah, Steve! That was every bit the 24 recap as we've come to expect.

Something tell me the next 24 episode won't be all that different. Heheh.

[Dave]

Good job by everyone, especially the increasingly amazing Steve.

[LucyVanPelt]

Snork at "Commercial - Victoria's Secret announces the new IPEX iPod, with 15 gigabreasts of memory."

Will make me snorky all day.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Hmm..makes me think:

Wow, check out the mp3's on THAT one!