As you know if you follow international events, tonight is the two-hour finale of 24, which begins at 8 p.m. Eastern Canister Time. At 7 p.m. this blog will be providing a synopsis of what we like to laughingly refer to as the "plot." Meanwhile, we offer this prediction from Steve "Steve" McMacken, the man who has been providing the amazing weekly post-show plot summaries in the comments section
CORRECTION: Steve "The Real Steve" Pietrowicz, in the comments section, says that this is not from him, so apparently it is from another Steve. This blog apologizes, and urges parents to for God's sake stop naming everybody "Steve."
The bad guys escape from the submarine after their stupid missile plot is foiled and they all pile into Air Force One to fly off with evil President Logan, who has dragged Martha and Aaron along with him as hostages. (Jack has already holed up in the luggage compartment because Chloe found some vectors and schematics for him.) Also accompanying him is Audrey, who won't be left behind because her father, who was in transit to CTU, is now missing and Jack thinks he's been kidnapped and is on board. The jet takes off and heads out over the ocean. Suddenly, in the cockpit of the plane, the final, absolutely final, without-a-doubt final canister goes off. (The canister has been onboard all this time and is remotely detonated by an unseen person. You just catch a glimpse of a pair of gorgeous, female hands.) Then we watch as everyone - the President, Bierko, the slimy guy from ER, et al - froth at the mouth and flop around a bit in pure agony - in graphic detail, of course - before dying horribly. Then poisonous snakes begin to appear. No, wait, let's save that for another movie. Cut to the cargo hold. We see Audrey begin to cough and act like John Hurt in "Alien."
Cut to an exterior shot of the jet as it heads away from us. We hear Jack cry "No! Audrey, stay with me." Then we hear him, too, coughing and sputtering. Cut to Air Traffic Control. We see a close-up of a radar screen with a green blip moving away. Suddenly, the blip stops blipping. 24 theme music comes up. Fade to black.
THIS URGENT BREAKING UPDATE JUST IN:
I hope this isn't too big of a spoiler, but according to the Yahoo! TV listing tonight's episode is going to have some "shocking developments." I hope I didn't ruin anything for you.