24

We begin tonight's episode hoping desperately that a serious plot will emerge in time to be resolved next week, in the Big Two-Hour Season Finale.

What do I mean by "a serious plot?" I mean "a plot where at least one major U.S. metropolitan area is totally doomed." Think back to last year, when we had, as our arch-villain: Marwan. Now there was a villain. He shot down Air Force One, and then he almost caused nuclear reactors all over the United States to melt down, and all of that was just a diversion to draw attention away from his real evil plan, which was to launch a nuclear missile from Iowa (a known rogue terrorist state) at Los Angeles. Jack thwarted Marwan, of course, but not before Marwan thwarted Jack and the entire U.S. military about 17 times. He was a Thwarting Machine, that Marwan, and by God I miss him.

And what kind of plot do we have this year? For a while we had the Killer Kanisters, but they never seemed all that scary. Mostly they rode around Los Angeles getting Karsick. After the Kanisters got blown up, all we had left, plotwise, was: the Secret Recording. Ooooh! A recording! For weeks now, Jack has been chasing this recording around in a series of episodes in which the only truly memorable action sequence involved Chloe tasering a drunk named Ross in a hotel bar.

Anyway, last week, Jack finally obtained the recording that, if made public, would expose the president of the United States as a murdering scumbucket. But did Jack, having risked the lives of a planeload of innocent people to get hold of the recording, immediately make it public? Of course not! He rode back to CTU, handed the recording to Chloe, then wandered off to moon over Audrey.  Good going, Jack! Way to prioritize!

And as for Chloe -- a woman so technologically advanced that, simply by tapping on her keyboard, she can remotely defrost any given refrigerator on the planet -- did she immediately make the recording public? Of course not! She sat there, tapping cluelessly away, while Miles the Homeland Security Creepster, who might as well have the words "BAD GUY" tattooed on his forehead, wandered over and did something to the recording with a mysterious black plot device.

And so tonight we begin yet another episode with not much going on except for the president being puppeted via cell phone by the evil villain bald puppetmaster Graham, who has got to be the most boring evil puppetmaster since... well, since whoever was the evil puppetmaster before Graham.

The point is, something had better happen tonight, and it had better be something truly dastardly. It had better not be just the president ordering Jack arrested for the 283rd time this season alone. No,  dammit: We have sat through 21 hours of fake tension. The writers owe us something big.   

Speaking of something big: Edgar is still, as of this writing, dead. On the other hand, Secretary of Defense William Devane, despite having spent two episodes under water, is alive! Meanwhile the First Lady is still totally wasted resting.

Also be advised that a guy named "Bierko," who was the evil genius mastermind behind the Killer Kanisterzzzz plot, suddenly reappeared last week to be transported somewhere. He exchanged a Meaningful Look and a Nod with the van driver, so as to indicate to every member of the viewing public with an intelligencve level of rutabaga or higher that they are Up To Something.

That is where we stand as we begin tonight's episode. Time is running out. They need to turn this season around now, or else I swear I'm going to... OK, I'm going to tune in next week no matter what. But still.

UPDATE: Whoa. The president on Prison Break just died. But of course he was a different president.

UPDATE: So NOW Chloe figures it out.

UPDATE: They need to call Technical Support.

UPDATE: Man, Jack has gotten soft. He broke, like, zero of Miles' bones.

UPDATE: It's a TRICK, Jack.

UPDATE: Not the Kanisterzzzz!

UPDATE: Bierko just ripped his Band Aid right off. That is a manly terrorist.

UPDATE: The First Lady knows how to party.

UPDATE: Good old Aaron.

UPDATE: Aaron "Charles"ed him. Whoa.

UPDATE: OK, could this be moving any slower?

UPDATE: They're gonna take Jack out. Ooooh, we're scared.

UPDATE: So do we think Jack is going to end up saving President Manilow from Bierko? Wouldn't that be ironic?

UPDATE: If David Palmer were here, he would want Jack to buy some Allstate brand insurance, that's what.

UPDATE: I think they have started randomly showing scenes from earlier episodes.

UPDATE: Jack can't touch them? WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT.

UPDATE: Blah blah blah. Blah.

UPDATE:Wouldn't it be cool if Jack and Karen said, "Hey, we're famished! Let's order Chinese!"

UPDATE: Wasn't Audrey, like, nearly dead just a short while ago?

UPDATE: Ooooh! Henderson's dissing Chloe's 'puter!

UPDATE: Next up for the First Lady: Heroin.

UPDATE: Whoa! Chloe-like behavior from the FL! Martha and Aaron, sitting in a tree!

UPDATE: Perimeter!

UPDATE: I have no idea who Henderson is going to see, or why. Does that make me a bad viewer?

UPDATE: Seriously, was this guy on before? Or is he new?

UPDATE: SCANNER REPORT: "No weapons, but his prostate is the size of a grapefruit."

UPDATE: Does anybody know what the hell is going on? Does it matter?

UPDATE: OK, if they didn't trust Henderson to go in there, why the hell did they send Henderson in there? So they could have somebody else shooting back at them?

UPDATE: Chloe is on it.

UPDATE: I still don't know what's going on, but I'm glad to see Chloe is decrypting the files.

UPDATE: Aaron is hatching a plot! Good old loyal, bleeding-profusely-from-the-mouth Aaron.

UPDATE: Chloe's got it! A RUSSIAN FRICKING SUBMARINE!

UPDATE: They need to use EZ-on, EZ-off handcuffs for Henderson, the way they keep changing their mind about him.

UPDATE: We need to keep track of the gratuitous Audrey scene quotient (GASQ).

UPDATE: OK, that is definitely the last Killer Kanister, right?

UPDATE: It's a good thing the terrorists, despite being foreign, speak English to each other, so we know they're getting the missiles ready.

UPDATE: OK, at least now we have missiles. That's a definite upgrade over Kanisters.

Comments

[Allen at Division]

I'm blogging blind, because our tape delay is only about to start, but...

List of 24’s Abandoned/Forgotten Characters:

Jack’s Hot New Girlfriend
Her Now-Hero-Worshipping Son

Kim (Thank God!...)
Kim’s Creepy Analyst/Boyfriend

First Cleavage’s Assistant (Who By The Way Has HEARD THE RECORDING!)
Her Terrified Daughter

Former Presidential Brother (WBTWHHTR!)

SecDef Devane (WBTWHHTR!) Yes, I know he’s in Intensive Care (it’s OK, he’s covered by Allstate…), but in 24 he could be up and around with a band-aid in an hour or so…

Dead Banker: Still in the magic stealth police car?
Dead Banker’sWife: Still tied up at home?

Air Marshal and Unlucky Diplomat: Were they still in the baggage compartment during the emergency landing on the freeway? Did anyone think to open the baggage compartment after they landed? Ewwww…

Hot Flight Attendant: Jack should have brought her in for questioning, IF you know what I mean… ;)

Okay bloggers, anyone else? Help me out, here…
++++++++++++++

List of 24’s Characters Who Could Have Heard The Recording If Jack Had Just Played The Friggin’ Thing:
…Oh, never mind, the list is too long since it now includes an entire plane…
…and ALL of CTU…

[Larry~Barry]

Where's the blog on CSI:Miami????

[ChloeMyHero]

Steve, we NEED you Steve! Please help us understand, Oh Wise One..... Where ARE you???

[slyeyes]

OK, Meredith Grey has just gone completely nutz.

[AnotherBob]

Grr... you read all the comments, you miss the show. You watch the show, you miss the comments. >_<

[Suzy Q]

Bring it on....the shots, I mean.

[T and C in KC]

Wow - that russian sub's "missles are ready" beep is the same one my clock radio wakes me up with every morning.

Now my wife and I are going to have to remind each other that a russian sub seized by terrorists isn't going to launch nuclear missles when we get out of bed tomorrow!

CURSE YOU EVIL-DOERS!!!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

SuzyQ: *sniff* I guess I'll just mosey along then...

[Johnnie]

What a bad episode. At least First Lady Cleavage could have given Erin some in the horse stall.

[Gretchen]

Tropichuntguy: Thanks! Are you familiar with the people on HawaiiUp? They used to have the Transmission podcast which was the podcast to end all podcasts, but they gave it up. www.hawaiiup.com/lost

It is SO GOOD!

Now I'm off to check out the link you gave me!

[Wes S.]

I suspect Kim and the obnoxious boyfriend will show up in the season finale. Seriously, what did you think would happen when Traitor Robocop told Jack "You can't touch them, but they can touch you?"

Besides, it's obvious how they're paying for Kiefer's new, enlarged salary: they're killing off the rest of the cast.

[Deskdiva - drinking right along with SuzyQ]

Hey T & C - KC as in Kansas City? Me, too!

[Suzy Q]

Oh, tropichunguy, stop it! Guys are always welcome, too. It just seems that us gals drink a WHOLE LOT more than you guys. Belly up!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Good Lord...

[Tony]

Anyone else notice gas prices suddenly dropped to $2.93 in Los Angeles as they drove by that Arco station?

[Betsy]

Maybe with his three-year contract he can afford a belt AND suspenders...

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Ugh...

[Wes S.]

Kansas City? Me too! Well, Independence, anyway...

[Larry~Barry]

2.93 a gallon, AFTER the curfew

[tropichunt.com guy™]

The "Jack Bauer of the Blog™" saves the day again!

Hey...whatever happened to RRT..er..Adonis?

[Betsy]

Steve..no pressure, guy, but I can't go to bed until I've read your summary. Otherwise my subconscious will be all jumbled.

[Suzy Q]

Steeeeeeve..............

[WoosterGirl]

So...Steve? We wait for you with wine/shot/whiskey glasses in hand.

[Johnny]

Hey! I just realized how they can still prove that the President's the bad guy! When they played the recording in the bank, the audio got picked up by the bank's security video/audio camera recorder!

Oh wait, that would be logical. Never mind...

[T and C in KC]

Yep, T and C in Kansas City. Since my beloved sports teams are in the tank, had to get involved in TV ;-)

[Larry~Barry]

Hey Steve!!! ("Jeopardy! theme...")

[Annie Where-but-here]

At the rate this show & blog are going, Nielson projects that pretty soon the blog will outdraw the show.

WTG Allen at D - blogging blind is fun!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Laptop power fading...I'll catch y'all in a bit!

[Deskdiva - drinking right along with SuzyQ]

OK - All you Kansas Citians - we should have a 24 party and watch some of the "best" of the season.... Or at least the most random bits.

[WoosterGirl]

*raises a toast to Steve*

[Gretchen]

*slams a tequila shot, smack lips*

Ahh! Thanks Suzy Q, makes it all worthwhile! See y'all next Monday!

*waves bye-bye, stumbles off into the night*

[Larry~Barry]

Didn't the banker hear the recording and recognize the Prez' voice?

What about: The President is brought down by a Banker...?

Naw, never happen...

[Betsy]

Johnny...Yeah, but it's good to go on trying to make rational plot inferences. Don't let them destroy your thinking processes...fight them every step of the way!

[Suzy Q]

Bye, Gretchen! Imma pretty much right after you.

[WoosterGirl]

Bye, Gretchen! Sweet dreams!!

*waves drunkenly, drops head on counter*

[Suzy Q]

Yep, girlies, I'm right there with youse. Faaaading!

[Deskdiva - drinking right along with SuzyQ]

*Sings seductively....*

Steeeeevieeeee! We're waiiiiiting!!

[Betsy]

Waiting for Steve...an existential non-drama in several hundred posts.

[slyeyes]

as long as we're doing rollcall, anyone here from St. Louis?

[OhioNora]

Anyone from Cleveland? And willing to admit it, that is.

[Betsy]

Chicago here...

[Deskdiva - sleep blogging in her drink....]

And speaking of posts, anyone know what the record number of posts for a 24 posting is?

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Not from St. Louis or Cleveland--I'm from Florida where we are having many fires. Send some rain our way, please.

[Johnny]

I am. (from STL, that is) among other places..

[mellio]

we have to cut steve some slack tonight--he's gotta have his work cut out for him after this ep...

[Betsy]

All our rain went to New England. Maybe when they're done with it they can send it down the coast?

[Deskdiva - sleep blogging in her drink....]

Hey, Bets - what part? City or 'burbs? I'm a former suburbanite.

[ChloeMyHero]

Aloha from Honolulu!
(Outside the Perimeter!)

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Betsy-Thanks, we'll even take used rain.

[Betsy]

City...sort of NE of Wrigleyville - Irving near the lake. What burb?

[slyeyes]

Johnny, what's your answer to the "St. Louis question"?

[Deskdiva - sleep blogging in her drink....]

I was born in Hinsdale and lived most of my childhood in Libertyville. All my relatives still live all through Dupage County. I'll be up there next week for a family wedding, in fact. (Yay! Cuz I miss it.)

[OhioNora]

Is everyone quaking in terror at the idea of 06/06/06 or am I only one who thinks the whole thing is funny??? My local Fox station keeps promoting this dumb idea as a "Day of Terror" (TM). Won't the May sweeps be over by then?

[Deskdiva - sleep blogging in her drink....]

OHNora - You've GOT to be joking....

[chase]

i escaped cleveland and live in florida now!

[Betsy]

DeskDiva...Nice area! I have a friend who retired and moved up in the Grayslake/Libertyville area. She loves it, except when the geese get overbearing:)

[slyeyes]

OhioNora; it's not REALLY 666. It's 06/06/06. So we're safe.

Without the "0's", we'd be toast, of course.

[Suzy Q]

chase: what part of FLorida?

[Betsy]

Nora...thanks for the heads up! I'll add it to my list of things to panic about during my spare time. I haven't heard that in Chicago, but then I rarely watch Fox, except for the obvious exception:)

[Deskdiva - sleep blogging in her drink....]

FYI - You should all be watching CSI: Miami if you want some shooting right now!

[slyeyes]

Ddiva, I used to live in Western Springs; back in the day.

[OhioNora]

Wish I was. Maybe the Cleveland market is the only one so stupid as to actually watch such a show. Me, I've only starting watching 24 live so as to keep up with these comments. I usually DVR and watch later, sans commercials. You guys are too funny to miss!!

[mellio]

No! OHnora, it's just to keep you in a "heightened state of alert" (I like to call it "Booga Booga", myself...)

This is why as soon as 24 is over, I flip it right back to the music channels. None of that flapdoodle that passes for 'teevee news' plays in this house!! ;)

[slyeyes]

...and Clarendon Hills.

[Deskdiva - sleep blogging in her drink....]

'Tis a truly small world out there!

[Deskdiva - sleep blogging in her drink....]

Sly - where in CH? My grandparents and my best friend lived on Virginia for umpteen years. Both of my Gparents are buried in CH cemetery, even.

[Betsy]

Maybe Steve got confused and starting blogging during the Prezidential speech, and is soaking his head in club soda to recover his equanimity.

[Suzy Q]

Ok, good night, all. Can't wait any longer for Steve. Drunk....tired....

[OhioNora]

Any one ever seen The Unit?? President Allstate and Agent Doggett both seem to be on it. Not that I really yet another show to be behind on...

[Betsy]

Night, Suzy. Sleep tight (as it were). Steve's words of wisdom will be here when you wake up (unless he's been kidnapped by random terrorists)

[Betsy]

Well...it's been a long day (although not as long as a day on "24" of course). I'm thinking I'd best become horizontal voluntarily before it happens spontaneously.

Nytol...see y'all tomorrow:)

[slyeyes]

Ddiva; I'm trying to remember. 55th Street, I think? In W'springs, it was Harvey. In-laws live in Graue Mill in Hinsdale.

[Allen at Division]

Sorry about the boldface virus... I DID put the end slash, I did, I did!

Thanks, Annie. :)

[bbescuela]

Maybe Steve got some thigh in his shot.

[Steve]

The following takes place between 4 am and 5 am

4:00am – Haig and Jack talk about the recording, while Creepy attempts to stun them using an evil eye. Chloe and Bill have called congress to start impeachment, and have ordered party favors all around.

4:01 – They find out the chip has been been replaced with a recording of the Creepy singing “The Hokey Pokey”, and they realize that he erased the recording while he was in the room.

4:02 – Jack punches a security guard with ONE JackPunch and grabs Creepy by the neck to adjust Creepy's tie with extreme prejudice. They discuss the recording while Jack holds Creepy by the throat against the wall. Creepy's been transferred to a different show, “The West Wing”. Little does he know that show ended. Haig slaps Creepy, and he walks away.

4:03 – Haig tells Chloe to try and recover the recording, when Manilow calls, acting all innocent. Now he wants her to believe that the charges against Jack have been dropped. He says that he made a boo-boo.

4:06 – Bill comes in to announce that the writers have come up with a new plot! Woo hoo! A phone call from an agent in the field confirms that The Terrorist Guy With A Napkin On His Face escaped! Unfortunately for us, there was an explosion, and we didn't get to witness it. There are, however, plenty of very flammable cars all around, just to prove something violent happened. Oh no.... One of the Gas Canisters has escaped and has threatened to explode. Terrorist Guy With a Napkin On His Face becomes TA DA! Terrorist Guy Who Formerly Had a Napkin on His Face when he rips it off.

Commercial

4:13 – Mrs. Manilow is about to eat a LOT of Good and Plenty candies, but it looks like she realizes what they are just in time and spits 'em out. She grabs a cell phone (I think the one that Agent Aaron turned into), and goes to talk to an agent in the hallway, who grabs Agent Aaron The Cell Phone and walks away.

4:14 – They've converted Aaron from a cell phone back into his normal self! It looks like he attempted to beat the living daylights out of someone's fist with his nose, because there's blood everywhere. Manilow goes into talk to Aaron, and Aaron isn't buying this whole spiel that Manilow is trying to convince him of. Manilow wants Aaron to forget the whole thing, and Aaron stands up to him! He gets in the first dig on how Manilow is a complete disgrace, not only to the presidency, but to handbags everywhere! Go Aaron go! Manilow tries to intimidate Aaron by making a really mean face.

4:15 – Manilow walks out into a hallway, and another agent tells Manilow that Aaron is going to be a problem. I hope Aaron can turn back into a cell phone in time.

4:16 – Manilow calls the Hollywood Writer Guy, and Hollywood starts quizzing him about all the loose plot points. Manilow says there are WAY too many loose plot points, and Hollywood tells him to concentrate on Jack. Manilow thinks there is nothing to worry about.

4:17 – Cheney Looking Guy tells Manilow that Terrorist Guy is probably going to set off another gas canister, and Manilow tells him there's nothing to worry about because they're just recycling plots from earlier in the show.

4:18 – Haig, Bill, Jack and Chloe are at CTU trying to find Terrorist Guy. Haig reminds them they have Robocop and that by offering him some extra motor oil, they might be able to entice him to talk. Bill asks WWAD? “What Would AllState Do?”

4:21 – Jack goes to talk to Robocop and wants Robocop to tell him where Terrorist Guy is. Robocop realizes he can get a deal, and asks for Howie Mandel. Jack tells him there's NO WAY they could get Howie on the show.

4:22 – Robocop tells Jack that he's (Robocop's) dead. A deadman. Something like that. He says that as soon as he walks out of here, unless something REALLY great happens, having this show on his resume is going to end his career, so he wants to do something to help. He points out that, as a handbag, Manilow could never have thought up any of the plot that's happening right now.

4:23 – Robocop says, and I quote “They can't touch them, but they can touch you”. MC Hammer comes through the door, and informs them “They Can't Touch This”, and Jack shoots him in the thigh.

4:23 – Robocop wants immunity and to disappear just like Jack did, and Jack points out that didn't work out so great. Robocop says all he needs is Jack's word, but doesn't say exactly which word Jack uses. I'm guessing he means “chokehold”. Jack says he wants Robocop to give Terrorist Guy the John the Baptist treatment, and serve his head on a plate! Eeech! Robocop asks what kind of wine goes with that and they share a brief laugh.

Commercial

4:29 – Jack gives Chloe a bunch of names to check. Audrey finds out that the recording has been erased and bursts into tears. They she finds out that Robocop is getting an immunity deal and bursts into tears again! I'm beginning to think Audrey is made entirely of tears.

4:31 – Bill tells Jack that he thinks he has something. Jack offers him some medicine, and Bill tells him that's not what he meant. Robocop tells everyone about an arms dealer. Haig says “eeech!” and that they're interested in weapons dealers, so they go with that instead.

4:32 – Robocop completely disses all the computers at CTU, telling them that the weapons dealer has a MUCH bigger hard drive. They all look at Chloe, and she agrees.

4:32 – Mrs. Manilow is outside the compound stalking a car. She looks disoriented....so she's about normal.

4:33 – That Secret Service Guy that Manilow was talking to is trying to get Aaron to take a ride in the trunk of his car, and Aaron says that it's way too small. They fight, and since Aaron is in handcuffs he only partially beats the snot out the other guy. Mrs. Manilow shows up and distracts the agent by giving him the chance to shoot her. He looks really eager to do this, but Aaron kicks him and knocks him off balance. The Secret Service Guy picks up a tire iron, and a shot rings out! It was Mrs. Manilow! She shot him and says “Just like a Secret Service Guy, bringing a tire iron to a gun fight”.

Commercial

4:40 – Curtis comes out of no where and is escorting Jack and Robocop to the next plot location driving right by the same gas station that Audrey was at a couple of episodes ago. They're headed for the weapons dealer. Jack sends in Robocop to go in wearing a wire, and Robocop reminds him that since he is Robocop, he's completely wired, and that will do no good whatsoever. Jack tells Robocop that he doesn't need a reason to put a bullet into his brain, and Robocop tells him that he's not scared of that since it's already happened to him, and suggests Jack go rent his movie. Jack tells Curtis to set up a perimeter, and Curtis doesn't look too happy about setting up yet another perimeter.

4:41 – Robocop goes to talk to Weapons Dealer, who, inexplicably, is fully dressed at this hour in the morning. Jack sees a ladder to the roof, and can't resist climbing it. He goes to lie down on the roof for a moon tan.

4:42 – On the inside, Weapons Dealer has a complete body scan done of Robocop, and gets his measurements. Robocop uses the word “phalanx”, and Weapons Dealer giggles until Robocop tells him that means there are a LOT of people outside with guns, and they're just itching to shoot people in the thigh. Robocop convinces Weapons dealer to crash all his systems. Weapons Dealers does the unthinkable and starts to install Anti-Virus software onto all his systems, thereby assuring they'll never work properly again.

4:43 – They're all moving in! Jack goes in through the roof because it's more difficult that way. Curtis moves in by throwing a random CTU agent through a plate glass door, which wasn't as quiet as they hoped.

MY DVR WITH THE INITIAL D.I.S.H SEEMS TO HAVE BEEN HAD THE SAME TREATMENT AS THE RECORDING! I THINK CREEPY WAS THE ONE THAT PROGRAMMED IT! IT STOPPED IT FROM RECORDING THE LAST 17 MINUTES!

FORTUNATELY, I THOUGHT OF THIS, AND HAVE A CHLOE-BRAND TIVO DOWNSTAIRS THAT CAPTURED EVERYTHING, IN CASE OF JUST SUCH AN EMERGENCY.

4:44 – Robocop asks for a gun and they start shooting everyone. Jack uses ONE bullet and takes down the Weapons Dealer. Curtis gets shot. You can tell because he's has his angry eyes on.

4:46 – Robocop informs them there was a premature Jack invasion, and that Robocop ALMOST had the files downloaded to the world's largest flash drive, because it would have had all the mainframe data on it. Jack orders Robocop handcuffed, and calls Haig to get Chloe to look at the files. They leave.

Commercial

4:52 – Mrs. Manilow is taking a bloody rag and wiping it all over Secret Service Agent Aaron's face. He's faking being asleep so he doesn't have to listen to her. Mrs. Manilow confesses to Aaron she was going to lie about everything. Aaron tells her he'll dispose of the other secret service agent's body, and he'll lie low because it's easier not to get shot that way.

4:53 – Jack tells a random CTU agent to secure Robocop by the tailgate, and the CTU agent says “Wouldn't that hurt?” Jack calls Bill to find out what Chloe is doing. Chloe says, the files are for a Russian submarine that the US is helping with.

4:54 – Jack and Robocop leave to find that submarine on a suspiciously similar black helicopter that like the terrorists use, except we know it's a good guy's helicopter because it's got CTU on the side.

4:56 – Jack gets on the phone with the US captain in charge of helping with the Russian sub. The Captain tells a Russian they need to put everyone on alert. The Russian crew guy says they're completely out of “lerts”. The US captain gets a gun, goes off to see if the missiles are OK, and goes to see if everything is OK on top. He puts his head up like a gopher out of his submarine hatch, and Terrorist Guy is waiting to shoot him, and he does. Jack doesn't look the least bit surprised.

4:58 – Terrorist guy turns on the gas canister, drops it in the sub, and closes the hatch. Sub guys go through dramatic death scenes for about 10 seconds through the WHOLE sub and they're dead.

4:59 – Terrorist Guy and his henchmen go into the sub and get control of the weapon systems. Fortunately for Terrorist Guy, all his henchmen are well-versed in Russian submarine technology, which they learned in Terrorist school.

5:00 – Time's up!

Next time: Audrey's video on the Internet! 12 missiles ready to launch! Lots of shooting! Jack pulls a gun on Manilow!

[WoosterGirl, paddling off in her skiff]

Well, I'm following Gretchen and Suzy's example, and disappearin' into the very wet NH night air.

'Night all. Here's hopin' for some serious gunfire next week.

[Deskdiva - sleep blogging in her drink....]

Bedtime all....Steve, we missed you!

[WoosterGirl, paddling off in her skiff]

OMG! Simulpost with Steve!

*faints*

[Annie Where-but-here]

Omigod! They got Steve, who was moonlighting as the president on Prison Break! Help us, Chloe - call Technical Support. Or at least call an Athletic Supporter. Steve is AWOL, which is just south of Pointy Magoo.

"Jack has gotten soft on Miles' bones." - I did NOT see that comin'. Gives new meaning to 'thigh shot.'

Kanisterzzz are SO last hour!

Bierko - hee, hee - they said 'beer.'

The First Lady = Nice Kannisterzzzz - whoops snoozed off on the plot. Apparently didn't miss anything.

Somebody wants revenge on Jack for what he did to that Christmas tree.

I'm blogging blind here, people. Have I scared you yet?

Oooh - dance number (kidding!)

Audrey is a vampire. She only hangs out to feed on Jack's kills. Obviously, she's very fussy eater.

Henderson:"Well, little lady, I'm a Ford man mahself."

Yo, Missus Prez, quit boa-guarding the stash!

Martha and Aaron -has FOX no morals?

"Hi, my name's Perry Meter, and I'll be your guide tonight as we - ugh, I'm down! I'm down!"

Random acts of plot juggling...scrambled...over easy. Over soon I hope.

"Ay-yi-yi, que huevos!"

Anyone remember "Harry and the Hendersons"?

Chloe - nice sweater. Is it new?

I thought it was wrong to defile a crypt.

I get it - it's a SUBplot.

Every time they put those cuffs on Henderson, he starts panting like a dog. Hmmm...

I got yer killah kannisters right here, baby!

"I'd like a rheume for my missile, pleazzz."

Steve - you rock. I don't know how you do this. I miss you soooo much.

[Steve]

Sorry about the late post....between 24 being on 20 minutes late and my DVR upstairs not recording the whole episode, I'm lucky I have a Chloe-brand Tivo downstairs as my emergency backup DVR.

[FleaBailey]

Well, Steve, I stuck around, and it was worth it! I particularly liked the "gopher in a hole" analogy.
You're the tops, you're a mausoleum!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Steve, thank goodness! We thought they got you! How do you do this? I'm gonna stick to one-liners. Me dizzy - me lie down for a while.

[Betsy]

Steve...I'm so glad my daughter IM'd me before I signed off...she kept me going just long enough to check back and find your estimable contribution to Western culture! Yaaaaaaaaaaaay!!! We love you, Steve!!!
Are you going to do some kind of carb-loading or meditation preparing for your two-hour shift next week? We'll light candles for ya...

[slyeyes]

Thanks, Steve! I loved the "Premature Jack Invasion". Usually, though, notsomuch.

*snork*

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

*snork* @ Annie

Chloe was on Fox News tonight. She said someone from her past is coming back next week. Who could it be? We did see Edgar stop breathing, right?

[Allen at Division]

"SUB Plot"! Bwa-ha-ha-ha! Great one, Annie--and Steve, magnificent as usual.

[Valerie]

"Jack tells a random CTU agent to secure Robocop by the tailgate, and the CTU agent says “Wouldn't that hurt?” "

Hahahahaha!!! I'm SO glad you picked up on that. That was the best line of the whole show tonight, imho :)

[Jimmy]

I stopped watching the show back when it was called Frasier. We're talking about Will & Grace, right?

[rachelnewbie]

Not the Phoenix!

Being this is comment # 5million, probably no one will see this. However, if you do... check this out. Jack is so ADORABLE. I heart him

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nP43M5ov118

[Mike Antonucci]

"24" West Coast Post Game Recap

* First, a plug for my examination of the Robocop Cast Conspiracy, titled "24" and Three Degrees of Robocop.

* Jack jumps Miles like he's a Christmas tree.

* Apparently Audrey had a change of clothes on hand at CTU. If so, couldn't she lend Chloe a sweater?

* The impenetrable Phoenix Shield! The Suns could use that.

* Aaron sweats a lot. How does he manage to run alongside the Presidential limo?

* You know the show is going downhill when the First Lady has killed more people in an episode than Jack.

* Do you think Curtis is getting tired of playing Tonto? I'm sure he grew up watching Shaft - he knows he's one bad mother--- shut your mouth!

* Jack and Robocop go to question Molina.

* Molina has such a sophisticated security system that his computer can make a cartoon image of your body, but he never got around to putting a motion detector, or even a light, on the roof.

* Molina has one of those "Matrix" screensavers.

* The writers have packed it in for the season. Bierko escaped with the "Patriot Games" plot device, now they're ripping off "Hunt for Red October." Tom Clancy used his PDA of Doom to contact his lawyer.

* By the way, did the terrorists cobble together this submarine heist after rescuing Bierko less than ONE HOUR AGO?!?

* The best part of this episode was the Meb Keflezighi MasterCard commercial.

* Next week: Jack infiltrates the submarine so Bierko can tell him: "You're a pirate, man!"

[KOW]

Weapons dealer to crash all his systems. Weapons Dealers does the unthinkable and starts to install Anti-Virus software onto all his systems, thereby assuring they'll never work properly again.

To be fair, that's just Norton Anti-Virus. Once my cousin had a problem with that AV, called tech support because it wouldn't uninstall, and they literally told him to format his machine. *SIGH*

Steve, you rock as always, though I didn't get to read this last night. Have a good day all!

[mellio]

(re: Norton Anti-Virus) "Reformat the hard-drive" is the new standard for getting a refund on an errant purchase of computer software; ie. if you try this and still can't get rid of the problem, we'll give you your money back".

As Dave would say, I am not making this up. I can't be, I bought a program not long ago that advertised a "money-back guarantee" if I wasn't happy. (Whenever you see such a thing online with a mile-long disclaimer regarding What You Have To Do to participate in such a guarantee, RUN!)

On a side note, I hear Symantec is offering "Random Plot Generator" software for sale to the general public this fall, since it's been so successful this season, right in this here blog. Where do I pay??

[Wavey]

Wow, 592 posts. Do I have to be a 24 fan now in order to be a true bloglit here? Because that's probably not gonna happen. I tried to get into the show, but it just doesn't do a whole lot for me. Oh well.

[judi]

wavey: i'm not sure it would be valid to say everyone who posts in this thread is a fan of 24. :)

[judi]

at least, not in the way you mean.

[chase]

Sorry for the looooong lag time suzy-q

Fort Myers, Fl.

[daisymae]

Yayyy Steve & Mike a & Annie WBH - your recaps were super!

[Betsy]

Wavey...we're not so much fans of '24' as devotees of the watch-24'n'drink'n'blog experience. And actually, the drinking part is optional.

[taddic]

600?

[Leetie]

I love reading the "24 party" comments every Tuesday morning. I was saying "WWDPD" at the same time as you all did last night :)

Steve, you rock.

Is it suprising to anyone that the random plot generator fell on the Kanisters again?