24

Here is the situation on the ground and in the air as of 2100 hours Eastern Perimeter Time:

Chloe is in a hotel bar with a laptop and a taser and a drunk named Ross, whom Chloe keeps tasering. This has been, hands down, the coolest action sequence of the season so far. We hope Chloe stays in the bar and continues tasering Ross and anybody else stupid enough to try to mess with her. We hope that by the end of this season, there is a large pile of tasered drunks surrounding Chloe, who is still pounding away on her laptop and uploading schematics, manifests, recipes, etc. to Jack's PDA.

Meanwhile, Jack is on a diplomatic flight with the Secret Tape Recording That Will Bring Down The President (STRTWBDTP), which Jack obtained via the clever tactic of repeatedly threatening to kill everybody on the plane. If only Jack can make the STRTWBDTP public, the president will be doomed, and the Evil Plot (whaever the hell it is) will be foiled!

(Many of you have asked why -- since Jack is in constant contact with Chloe, and he is an extremely high-tech individual, and he has a PDA that can do pretty much anything, including remotely detonate terrorists -- Jack doesn't simply transmit the STRTWBDTP to Chloe, so she can broadcast it. There is a simple, logical explanation for why Jack has not done this, which is: Shut up.)
   
So as we tune in tonight, Jack's plane is trying to land, but President Manilow, acting on orders from the Evil Bald Guy Puppetmaster of the Week, is about to order the Air Force to shoot the plane down, which means in a few minutes Jack could be DEAD. Also a race of giant Swedish-speaking oysters from Jupiter could land their spaceship in Milwaukee and dance the macarena.

In other plot developments:

The First Lady of the United States is stoned out of her gourd has taken some medication and retired to her room.

Edgar has embarked on a new career as an underwear model.

No -- Sorry! --  Edgar is still dead.

Audrey -- we are trying not to get too excited about this -- was missing altogether from last week's episode. Maybe the writers forgot about Audrey! We can dream, can't we? Meanwhile, we still are not totally 100 percent certain about the fate of Secretary of Defense William Devane, who drove into a lake two weeks ago, but may have figured out some way to survive.

So that's the situation, with four hours to go: Chloe in a bar; Jack on a plane; no coherent plot anywhere in sight. Just the way we like it.

UPDATE: We just realized that during tonight's episode we will also be monitoring the NBA playoff game between the Miami Heat and the New Jersey Sewer Discharges. So we will be busybusybusy. But that is why this blog makes the large dollars.

UPDATE: The Discharges have evidently bribed the officials.

UPDATE: At the end of one quarter, the score is: Miami 21

UPDATE: Ooooh! Jack broke his nose! Poor baby!

UPDATE: NOT AUDREY! DAMMIT!

UPDATE: Secretary of Defense Devane has survived two episodes underwater!

UPDATE: They are going to arrest Jack for the 362nd time.

UPDATE: "I know Jack."

UPDATE: Jack Bauer? ERRATIC??? WHO THE HELL ARE THEY CALLING ERRATIC????????

UPDATE: Point Magoo? Did Bill just say something about "Point Magoo?"

UPDATE: No biggie. I often land on the freeway.

UPDATE: Wait! When did Chloe leave the bar? WHERE'S ROSS?

UPDATE: "Everything's going to be fine," says Jack. Usually this means... DEATH.

UPDATE: Chloe is working on it.

UPDATE: He's not gonna make it!

UPDATE: Why do they need oxygen masks? They're almost on the freaking ground.

UPDATE: I believe this violates many California traffic laws.

UPDATE: I miss Ross.

UPDATE: "Thank you for flying the diplomatic flight. We hope you'll think of us again next time you need to nearly die eight different ways."

UPDATE: Two batallions of Marines against Jack? Those poor Marines.

UPDATE: Perimeter! Seriously, has one single perimeter EVER worked on this show?

UPDATE: Curtis! Making them stand down!

UPDATE: Uh-oh. Karen's gonna spill the beans to the creepster.

UPDATE: Wait... Isn't Bierko from the old Killer Kanister plot? Why's HE back?

UPDATE: Miami 54

UPDATE: They really need to do something about the lighting in the presidential retreat.

UPDATE: JUST PLAY THE FRICKING RECORDING, JACK.

UPDATE: Oh not Audrey again pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeez

UPDATE: It's over! Sure.

UPDATE: Suicide time?

UPDATE: Speaking of suicide: Miami STILL 54

UPDATE: Not now. The First Lady has a headache.

UPDATE: Look, just kill yourself, OK?

UPDATE: Lotta moping around in this episode.

UPDATE: Don't drink and shoot! Ask the vice president about that!

UPDATE: The creepster! That slimeball!

UPDATE: Taser him, Chloe!

UPDATE: Plotwise, this was a snorefest. Too much brooding, too much Audrey, not enough Chloe, zero shooting.

UPDATE: Next week Jack goes after the Evil Puppetmasters. Call me naive, but I believe that eventually a plot WILL evolve.

UPDATE: Miami 64.

UPDATE: Seriously, did anyone else hear Bill say "Point Magoo?"

Comments

[Glow]

Well, at least Devane heard the recording.

[Annie Where-but-here]

no one got shot? Really? Did Jack drop his shorts? Did anyone drop Jack's shorts? If not, I'm watching the Clipper game. Ah, the advantages of the left coast...

[Suzy Q who doesn't need a perimeter anymore]

*sits back, sips wine, waits for Steve*

Very disappointed in the last 2 shows. Not nearly enough blood. And Awdrey survived. Yuck.

[Jessica R.]

MAFG...huh? politics belong on a different thread. This is ENTERTAINMENT; it is a TV SHOW, just like reality shows are NOT REAL either, just sayin'.

[Amy]

Well, I had much more fun in the dining room at a 90 degree angle from the TV than sitting right in front of it.

[WoosterGirl]

Annie, no one got shot. Very depressing ep.

[Gretchen]

Dave thinks a plot will evolve next week. Has he been watching this show? Or maybe he's talking about the basketball game.

[Layzeeboy]

OK, Steve. WTF happened?

[Wes S.]

...And just what did Traitor Robocop mean when, in next week's previews, he told Jack "You can't touch them, but they can touch you?"

Sounds to me like Kim will be coming back again, as a hostage again, just in time for the season finale.

Dare we hope the cougar will return, too?

[WoosterGirl]

I need to get drunk, fast. Suzy, you with me?

[Glow]

They are going to redo the "Question Robocop" hour again. Then they are going to redo Kanister Threat Bierko again. That should take us to the finale!

[FleaBailey]

Dave, sir, no offense, but you are naive.

[ldouthjit]

thanks Jessica...I didnt know what politcis had to do with that either...
Plus Chloe would never let Miles slimeball his hand on her recording...whats up with that? It was too easy

[Suzy Q who doesn't need a perimeter anymore]

Ok, I totally misseed the part where Sec of State William Devane survived. Hopefully, Steve will enlighten me.

[CJrun]

*floats in*

I loved this episode. Had to work, so I just had it in the background, but I just loved how Handbag, prior to blowing his brains across the wall, had to make sure Ramparts knew he could live with all of the other betrayal, but not the betrayal of her.

'Honey, this messy wallpaper is for you!' Now to go read your play-by-play.

*climbs out*

[Suzy Q, crying into her wine for the lack of violence]

WoosterGirl: I'm with you, girlfriend!

[Melody]

Any Audrey is too much Audrey. Any.

And there's never enough Chloe.

I doubt there is a plot, frankly. I think they decided to shred the plot and go with action and anxiety so thick you forget there is no plot.

[Glow]

Evil puppetmasters is a plot?

[chrisinmd]

Yeah Dave,
I heard 'Point Magoo' myself.
You got to hand it to the writers, they sure can slip a few jokes in there through the perimeter, if you know what I mean. Is it just me or does everybody seem to be practicing their Chloe eyes?

[Steve]

Hope this was a bit quicker this week....my hands are smoking...

Apologies for any grammar, spelling or logic mistakes. I mean in "24". Not the summary....

-----
Summary

3 am – Jack broke the co-pilot's nose. He's lucky he didn't get shot in the thigh. He calls Haig and lets her know that he has the recording of Manilow. Bill talks extra loud into the

3:01 – Curtis tells Audrey he has great news... He's going to save a ton of money on his car insurance, and he that Secretary of Defense Devane used his super defense car to actually survive that 200 foot drop into the water we saw a couple of episodes ago. Aside from being EXTREMELY waterlogged after being in the water for two weeks, he's OK.

3:02 – Haig calls Curtis and tells him that Jack needs a ride from an airport. Since Curtis is a REALLY good friend, he'll pick him up....but Jack owes him. Also, Jack has this evidence that can bring down Manilow. Curtis says that if that's true, Jack won't owe him anything.

3:03 – The Evil Genius Think Tank (EGTT) has figured out a way out of Manilow's dilemma can the guy who looks like a hollywood writer calls him. Hollywood says that Manilow needs to shoot down the plane. Manilow protests, saying he doesn't have a gun nearly big enough, or with enough range. Besides, he can't shoot straight anyway. Hollywood says they're going to use a BCI distress signal, which will make it look like the entire plane is full of American Idol fans, so no one will question Manilow's motives. Manilow protests because he likes American Idol, and then agrees by saying “My Ryan Seacrest have mercy on my soul!”.

3:06 – Bill wants Chloe back at CTU. He and Haig talk, and Creepy sees what's going on. He doesn't like it. He definitely looks like he wants to tattle-tale to someone....but WHO?

3:08 – Cheney Looking Guy (CLG) tells Manilow the FAA has a plane full of American Idol contestants, and they really really want to shoot down the plane.

3:09 – An Admiral briefs Manilow and tells him they want to shoot down the plane. Manilow acts like he's really concerned. CLG really can't believe this is going on and tries to stop this, but Manilow doesn't want to hear about it. Manilow very dramatically tells the Admiral to “Release the Flying Monkeys!”.

3:12 – Back at CTU, Haig gets news about the Flying Monkeys. Haig and Bill call Jack and let him know. They start to look for a place to land at Jack's request, preferably with a bathroom since Jack hasn't been to one in HOURS.

Commercial

3:16 – CTU – Chloe's back, and Creepy just can't believe it. Haig and Bill give her a big assignment, try and hack into the airline system to help Jack.

3:17 – Jack tells the stewardess to get everyone in an upright and locked position.

3:18 – Bill calls Jack, and tells him about a place to land. It doesn't look like they have enough room to land. They call Curtis, who's apparently in a REALLY fast car, and let him know where the plane will land.

3:18 – The Admiral patches Manilow into radio with the flying monkeys, so he can listen in on their combat chatter.

3:19 – Chloe finds the flying monkeys by following the trail of banana peels, and CTU lets Jack know where they are. Jack and the co-pilot send the plane into a dive. Lots of Star Trek moving from side to side in the cabin of the plane.

3:20 – Flying monkeys radio that they're close to the plane. The plane is making a dive to the freeway below and the pilot gets excited he can see a Denny's. Jack looks releaved because he knows they have that bathroom there. Only one problem... the co-pilot says can't pull out of the dive the plane is in. Other than that, everything is AOK. Jack looks annoyed that this guy can't do ANYTHING alone, and agrees to help land the plane.

3:21 – Missile lock from the flying monkeys! The head monkey hesitates, and tells everyone that they don't need to shoot anyone down because they're landing. He does volunteer to blow up the Denny's, however. Manilow wants that plane shot down, but finally relents. He orders the Marines in there to get the plane, and to send the Flying Monkeys back to base.

3:22 – Curtis spots a shooting star. He then realizes it's Jack's plane. They finally land on the highway, but only after three cars with Florida plates pass the plane.

3:23 – Everyone's off the plane, and Jack runs off the plane, and heads straight for that Denny's at top speed.

Commercial

3:27 – Hollywood calls Manilow to complain, and Manilow apologizes.

3:28 – Emergency vehicles arriving at the plane landing site. Jack uses the JackPhone to call Curtis, and they make plans to meet as the Marines arrive.

3:29 – Jack runs, undetected, to Curtis's car. The Marines stop the car, and Curtis talks his way out of the road block.

3:30 – Curtis calls CTU and talks to Bill. Curtis plans on taking the secret freeways that no one knows about back to LA. This is how they get around LA so fast! Finally! An answer to that question!

3:32 – Creepy calls Haig on her cell phone, and gets really whiny about why he hasn't been informed about what's going on. Chloe must have super hearing, because she gives her the evil eye. Creepy threatens to tattle-tale. Haig goes to talk to him.

3:34 – Haig and Creepy talk, and he's really whiny. She brings Creepy to heavily soundproofed cement walls, tells him the whole story. Creepy is NOT into this AT all. An assistant interrupts them (oh oh...I think she heard). Creepy agrees to help Haig.

3:36 – Terrorists guy that got taken down by Jack back at the gas plant they both blew up together is being brought into CTU. He's obviously hurt because he has a napkin with a ketchup stain on it taped to his face. They're transferring him to a Terrorist Storage Facility, under police escort.

Commercial

3:40 – CLG tells Manilow that Jack got away. Manilow can't believe it. CLG says that's what it says in the script he has. Manilow stares out the window and doesn't say anything while CLG gives him the mind control evil eye. CLG is unsuccessful which appears to mean that Manilow has no mind to control, but we know that.

3:42 – Phone call someone, but Manilow doesn't pick it up. He lets his voice mail do it: “Hi! I'm busy plotting against President Allstate, aiding terrorists, and looking for Jack Bauer! Please leave a message at the sound of my sobbing”.

3:43 – Jack's back at CTU! He gives Chloe the recording to clean up and post to the Internet. He suggests the wildly popular and famous Dave Barry blog. Jack goes to see Audrey.

3:44 – Audrey's on the phone trying to get a nurse to wake up her father, who's in intensive care. She looks up, sees Jack and for the first time in her life is speechless. They share a tender moment, and they think everything is over. (They haven't read the rest of the script, or know that there are more episodes left!) Loud piano music plays.

3:46 – Manilow goes to his hidden secret box and calls Hollywood in his Evil Think Tank. Hollywood informs Manilow that CTU has the evidence. Manilow and Hollywood talk cryptically about how bad it would be for the country for their relationship to be exposed. Manilow pulls out a gun from his secret box! (Mrs. Steve comments “They can just not keep presidents alive on this show!”).

Commercial

3:51 – Mrs. Manilow is watching TV, and Manilow goes in to see her. They stare at each other for a while, using up valuable “24” episode time. Manilow says that what he did was really really wrong, and that he didn't want to hurt Mrs. Manilow. They're speaking really slowly, using up even more episode time. She says he's a good liar and should go on “To Tell the Truth”. He leaves.

3:55 – Manilow goes down the hall, back to his office to stare at his secret box. He pours himself a glass of Pina Colada that he keeps in his desk, looks a this gun.

3:56 - Another phone call interrupts, there's a phone call from someone from CTU. CREEPY IS CALLING THE PRESIDENT! Creepy wants to thwart what's happening at CTU! Creepy has Manilow's blessing!

3:59 – Manilow puts away the gun! Montage of Hollywood, Audrey and Jack, Mrs. Manilow. Creepy goes in to talk to Chloe, and has his hand really really much to close to the recording. He's lucky that Chloe didn't taser him!

4:00 – Time's up!

The recording is erased?! Terrorist escapes! Secret Agent Aaron talks back to Manilow! Robocop threatens Jack's loved ones! Are we going to see Jack's girlfriend and her teenage son again?

[wolfie]

This episode was more disappointing that usual.
*sighs*

[Annie Where-but-here]

Of course Devane survived. He landed on his teeth....on a Republican.

[Glow]

So is the Prez going to off Aaron next week? He has been drinking, folks!

[Gretchen]

No shooting. No blood. Awwdrey's not dead. Miles is a douchebag. Mike's incapable of independent thought. Manilow drank perfectly good scotch and DIDN'T off himself. And Chloe was tricked. Bleah.

Glad I have a gallon of peach ice cream in the fridge.

[bbescuela]

Dave, I live near Point Magoo. Believe me, you don't want to drive near there.

[Amy]

Well, Suzy - Sorry the transmission failed. My laptop is nowhere NEAR as cool as Chloe's. My bad.

[WoosterGirl]

Good. We'll wait for Steve together. Barkeep, bottle o' wine please. Just keep 'em comin'.

*glug*

[Steve]

Yes, I definitely heard "Point Magoo"

[Tony]

Why don't they just make 50 friggen copies of the recording as backup?

[Glow]

Thank you, Steve! Once again, you made more sense than the show.

[Annie Where-but-here]

btw - it's "Point Mugu," a real military base out here, right next to Port Hueneme (which sounds like 'pork my weinie').

[bbescuela]

BTW "Point Magoo" (actually Mugu) is a naval base north of L.A.

[Glow]

It's probably Point Moo Goo Gai Pan.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Thank you, Steve, well done. But with all the suffering (on the part of the viewers), y'all will be back next week, of course. It's more fun watching your agony and frustration than watching the show.

[Suzy Q, crying into her wine for the lack of violence]

Whatta a downer of an episode.

*snork* at Amy. No one is as cool as Chloe! :)

Grethcen: You have peach ice cream? *sniffle* I don't.

[Betsy]

Yaaaay! for Steve's magic fingers!!!

Thank you once again for restoring some sense of order (not odor or ordure) to the so-called plot.

[Becca]

Two episodes without a single shot?

WHAT. THE. HELL.

Watching Curtis talk his way through that "permiter" makes me feel awesome about our homeland security. Way to go, champs!

[Annie Where-but-here]

oooh - bbescuela - lo mismo!

[Suzy Q, crying into her wine for the lack of violence]

I feel so....anticlimactic.

[jasonargos]

Wow what an episode

Any other show would have milked the plane scenes for an hour of so. But the f-14 was sent back to airbase ScoobyDoo after fifteen minutes of show, why, cause we got more plot that an Erik Estrada infomartial.

[WoosterGirl]

Well, Suzy, you're going to be one sick missy tomorrow, what with all that wine and peach ice cream.

One drink for the road, and I'm off, my friend.

Next week, same Jack time, same Jack station.

[Jon]

634th!

[Becca]

Only good thing about ANY of this was 1) the thought of the Pres shooting himself in the face and 2) THE RETURN OF AARON.

[Valerie]

I'm glad Secretary Daddy is still alive. I guess The Force (Ted Kennedy) was with him.

I always put closed caption on every week when I watch the show and, yes, it was Point Mugu. But I thought of Leslie Nielsen who played Mr. Magoo but who also starred in Airplane. 6 degrees of separation or whatever.

[Amy]

*Perks up* Magic fingers?! Oooh! It's right there! Just a little lower....aaaaah. That's it. Right in the middle of the back where President Manilow Handbag stabbed me with this PATHETIC EPISODE!!!

[miracle]

when the pres was staring at his gun..and the phone rang., wouldnt it have been great if he answered with his GUN?

[Annie Where-but-here]

jason - that's all the stock footage they had of the jet.

Suzy Q - did he finish without you?! The horror!

[Suzy Q, who is going to bed]

Good night, all!

[WoosterGirl]

And thank YOU, Steve, for your excellent recap and for tickling my funny bone!!!! Excellent, as usual!

G'night, all!

[OhioNora]

You do realize that 2 whole episodes without bloodshed only means that the 2-hour finale is going to be extra, extra bloody, don't you? They've got to keep their standards up!!

Here's hoping, anyway... :-)

[m]

my husband can't understand why I had to bitch him out for sneazing during next week previews.. man ..he is on the couch tonight!!

[Suzy Q, who is going to bed]

Annie: Story of my life.

[m]

my husband can't understand why I had to bitch him out for sneazing during next week previews.. man ..he is on the couch tonight!!

[Latch1]

I'm a little late in signing up, but surly I'm not the only one who noticed that all the men, after being up for God knows how many hours, have yet to show even the slightest beard stubble! Does Jack keep and electric razor in that Mary Kay Cosmetics bag he is always toting around?

[mellio]

OK, first of all, now that I stopped to read, HOW do you guys keep UP!? I need to get a laptop. Or somethin'. I tried to blog during, but it's a long way from the living room to the den!

And, snork to Betsy, I'm still laughing at your news adventure today...."And it was all I could do not to grab a beer and start blogging..." HAAAAA!!! Ha ha!

Finally, it's Point Mugu, it's a Marine base. Somewhere. In southern California. I always thought it was pretty far away from LA, but, well, "real-time" geography doesn't seem to be much of a problem on this show ;)

[SealMan]

Point Mugu is a Navy base actually just north of Malibu, California, and is about ninety minutes away from Los Angeles. I actually lived on the base about six years ago, and as far as I could tell, the main purpose of the base was a missile testing facility (for air-to-air missiles, I saw an F-14 fire one at a remotely controlled F-4 once, over the ocean). Also, it was originally built as a "first line of defense" against the Soviet Union if any attacks were to come from the southern Pacific.

[Annie Where-but-here]

oh, my - no wonder no more Heat updates. I see the Nets are up by 10 in the 4th. Shaq couldn't concentrate when he thought he saw Audrey courtside, but it was just a ball rack.

[Steve]

Just finished all the comments....you guys are hilarious!

Tropichunt.com guy, you were right on the money.

SuzyQ...don't worry, I saw plenty of thighs to be shot next episode...hopefully starting with Creepy's. Shot and tasered. And shot again.

[twentyfoured]

Didn't the irritating suspense music sound as if someone was blowing into a beer bottle?

Y'all crack me up.

[Spiny Norman]

One advantage of being on the West Coast, I have the inestimable joy of reading Steve's hilarious summaries and then get to watch the show later and laugh my ass off the whole time.

Thanks Steve.

=^D

[mellio]

Oh, oops. Yeesh! Sorry, I know how Marines and Navy guys get when they get mixed up (eeek! *cringing* )

[the man]

Don't forget.... Jack Bauer Appreciation Day is tomorrow - May 9th.

[SealMan]

lol, no problem mellio. My dad was the one in the Navy at the time actually, so I'm not offended. Just thought I might give a first person account of what Point Mugu is.

[John]

What the hell is Jack powering that phone with? Raw determination? Maybe that's the next "green" fuel.

[mellio]

Whew! Thanks, SealMan! I've done that once or twice before, and always caught all kindsa grief about it (in a fun sorta way, but still! Haa! ;))

[photo_tim]

They saved President Manilow so that First Cleavage can off him instead. She deserves a little action in this show (as do we all)!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Mugu still tests missiles...makes for pretty sunsets...in an armageddon sort of way.

[aaron]

if anyone can tell me where aaron pierce is and what in the world happend to evalin(the first ladies assisiant)and her daughter please email me at ayd3041@hotmail.com

[Pete]

I live in MST. Next week will you all record 24 and wait to watch an hour later so we can see it together? Just asking.

[rachelnewbie]

West coasters? Anyone? Didn't read the comments, so I can be surprised...

umm. Audrey, where's your bra & how the HELL did her dad survive. He isn't Jack?!!

[Wurm42]

I would love to know how much bandwidth this blog goes through on Monday nights. I bet it's frightening.

[rachelnewbie]

I type my comment and I missed how the president got them to shoot down the plane. How do you guys watch and type. Sigh.

[AlanBoss]

Okay, I'm jumping in with a quick comment without reading all 72 Bazillion previous comments.

President Manilow can't even succeed in killing himself. What a handbag.

I've lived in SoCal for over 20 years and I still *snork* whenever I hear "Point Mugu."

[Riteaidbob]

Am I the only one who paces through the entire show?

Am I the only one who is really concerned that CTU may possibly be the most DISFUNCTIONAL/Slept with each other/Have issues with each other/Back stabbing/lying to each other/mistrust each other/dated or was "involved" with each other department in the world?

[Catherine]

673rd!

I don't know how you guys can watch and type, either - even an episode like this demands my full attention. I was especially excited at the prospect of Handbag self-detonation (does this make me a bad person?), and in a funk when that didn't pan out. but you guys give good dessert - you totally make even a bummer episode worth it - especially when it's topped with a fresh scoop of peach ice cream. See you next week!

[Catherine]

OMG, I mean 675th and 676th. I took too long composing my comment.

[Mike Antonucci]

"24" West Coast Post-Game Wrap-Up

* Some day, Jack will retire and move to Hawaii, where I expect he will eventually become as mellow, easygoing and fun-loving as, say, Steve McGarrett.

* Bill says of Jack: "I don't always agree with his methods." He must have seen Jack kissing Audrey.

* BCI distress signal installed on aircraft. The only appropriate "BCI" for this plot device is brain-computer interface (http://www.ece.ubc.ca/~garyb/BCI.htm). That's scarier than anything on "24."

* "We're 100 miles from the nearest airport." There are 274 operational airports in California.

* Might as well land on the freeway. As we learned from a couple of episodes ago, there's no one working at the airport, and that fuel truck is probably still burning.

* Chloe's going to open a socket!

* The tasered guy is still unconscious in the bar, the dead bank manager's wife is still tied up and gagged in her house, and Marwan is probably still lying at the foot of that building.

* Jack says, "You can either land this plane on the freeway or I will!" Better listen to him. Here are a few photos of Jack's last landing. (http://www.theaviationzone.com/factsheets/c130_forrestal.asp)

* The single stupidest line ever uttered comes from Jack's lips as the plane flies OVER LOS ANGELES: "I can see the freeway!"

* The wingspan of a 727 is 108 feet.

* Secretary Heller is still alive. If he shows up in a neck brace (http://fatboy.cc/images/Ted%20Kennedy%203.jpg) I'm gonna lose it.

* Julian Sands makes a reappearance, but gets no lines. This may be due to budget cuts, or it may be because the writers finally saw Sands' 2000 interview in which he said, "I was the group groper. I was everyone’s bitch." (http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/Exhibit/6747/sands.html)

* Judging by Sands' nod to the driver, and the scenes from next week's episode, it appears Sands saw the Sean Miller escape from "Patriot Games" and figured if it worked for one Brit, it would work for him.

* Everyone is awake for 24 hours, but you never see anyone holding a big old mug of Kona coffee.

* The bald guy subtly suggests Logan should kill himself. I'm guessing he won't suggest this method (http://www.moviedeaths.com/robocop/emil_antonowsky/).

* President Logan pulls out a gun, but surprise! It's not a luger.

* Pills and booze, but the First Lady is still wide awake.

* The Centers for Disease Control report that women attempt suicide three times more often than men, but men succeed at suicide four times more often than women. Thus we can only come to one conclusion: President Logan is a woman.

* Three spoilers for the season finale:

1) When Jack slid the tape to Robocop on the airfield tarmac, it actually slid all the way under a tool cabinet where no one could reach it, and both sides are pretending it didn't happen because it was so embarrassing.

2) President Palmer actually survived being shot in the throat. He's in the hospital bed next to Secretary Heller in the Improbable Plot Device Recovery Ward.

3) The U.S. Attorney General will show up to hear the tape. He will be played by Kurtwood Smith (http://robocoparchive.com/wide/viewsc9.jpg).

[Mike Antonucci]

Oh, and visit my blog for Jack Bauer's Life and Ancestry.

http://www.mikeantonucci.com/2006/05/jack-bauers-life-and-ancestry.htm

[WriterDude]

Another stellar job, all. I feel your pain with respect to the lack of gratuitous violence. At least we had Tony and Christopher gratuitously shooting some bikers while heisting wine in Pennsylvania this week.

I deeply fear that writers from the first season of "24" have infiltrated the last season of "The Sopranos".

[Betsi]

So anyone want to tell me what is supposed to happen next week? My roommate tapes CSI Miami and it kicks in before i get to see the preview.
Also..how many episodes do we have left?

[mellio]

Kurtwood Smith? Heeeyyyyy, waitaminute...isn't this "That 70's Show"'s last season?

So this means that President Handbag will live, and we can look forward to hearing him being called "Dumbass" a lot next season. Cool!

(snork at Mike--that was a joke, right?)

[MONGO]

I am a big fan of 24, but the writers are officially out of ideas. The show slowly descends into complete stupidity. This whole season now hangs on the fact no one has heard this recording other than Jack, a guy at the bottom of the ocean (or maybe not!), and Audrey who suddenly seems perfectly normal. Jack, the plane might go down, hit play on the recorder, hold it up to your phone, and let CTU listen to it! Jack just arrives to CTU, hit play on the recorder right then and let CTU listen to it! Instead he gives the most damning piece of evidence in the history of US Presidency to one person and says - "I'll see you in ten minutes!" The plot stinks!

[Allen at Division]

SecDef survives: All bloggers knew it! No explosion, no death.

Admiral: “Right now they’re over the desert, but…”
CUT TO COCKPIT, showing lights, buildings, roads, and heavy population…

There won't be any cars on the freeway....except all the ones driving with their headlights off to be invisible to the curfew, going to the gas stations and bars!

Jack, sucking on Awwdrey’s knee through her sweat pants: yeccchhh! Is there any woman anywhere who would think this is remotely romantic?...

Somebody check me on this—is Awwdrey going to be the first injured person in five seasons to be taken to CTU Medical and live?!? It’s just not right…

Chloe, Chloe—NEVER work on your original! Always dupe it first! With this 20-second recording, it might take as long as—what, 20 seconds?...

First rule of espionage: DO NOT nod knowingly to your accomplice when escaping from a so-called security transfer team.

[Allen at Division]

Oh yeah, my vote is that CEBM (Council of Evil Bald Masterminds) will survive and be the carryover villains to next year's show...

[taddic]

A bit late but... I was really hoping the plane couldn't stop in time and its wings would be ripped off while going under the overpass. Would have been a bit more exciting. They could have even thrown in an explosion or two.

[Suzy Q]

Now that Decretary of Defense William Devane has survived two weeks underwater, I am now going to refer to him as Manimal.

[Annie Where-but-here]

Tip to those who have a hard time typing and watching simultaneously - type your comments out beforehand. Here are some of my comments for next week's show:
-No WAY does the 210 run past Point Mugu!
-Awwwwwdrey! Ugh - not again - please die already!!!
-President Handbag has stolen some pills. Is he going to take them or slip them to Heller?
-Jack, put your pants back on.
-Didn't they already use this plot device in the first season?

[Awayrio]

VERY IMPORTANT CONSPIRACY THREAD UNRAVELED: I have no answers but believe I have found the fire which is producing all the smoke. ROBOCOP!!! This movie features Peter Weller (Christopher 'Shootmywife, please' Henderson), Ray Wise (Vice President), Paul McCrane (Scary Bald Puppet Master). I don't believe in coincidences.

Be on the lookout for Kurtwood Smith (Dad from That 70s Show). He could blow this wide open.

[Awayrio]

VERY IMPORTANT CONSPIRACY THREAD UNRAVELED: I have no answers but believe I have found the fire which is producing all the smoke. ROBOCOP!!! This movie features Peter Weller (Christopher 'Shootmywife, please' Henderson), Ray Wise (Vice President), Paul McCrane (Scary Bald Puppet Master). I don't believe in coincidences.

Be on the lookout for Kurtwood Smith (Dad from That 70s Show). He could blow this wide open.

[Ann]

Amy, I think the "violins/violence" sketch was Emily Litella, not Rosanne Rosannadanna. EL was the old lady who would go on and on about the wrong thing in an editorial comment and once Jane Curtain corrected her would say "Oh. Nevermind."

Either way, Gilda was a comic god, and thank you Betsy for inferring her.

[24-aholic]

Mongo - buh-bye - we don't need no stinkin' haters here...only Jack love as it is Jack Appreciation Day. You'll get no card from me!

[24-aholic]

Awayrio - you are about 3 weeks behind on that theory....I would like to hear Red call some people dumbasses, though!

[24-aholic]

Awayrio - you are about 3 weeks behind on that theory....I would like to hear Red call some people dumbasses, though!

[Annie Where-but-here]

Mongo bad. Mongo need time-out.

[awayrio]

Apparently, I have wasted valuable time blog time and space with an out of the loop, redundant topic. I feel very much like the Hobbit in his last few defeated moments.
Apologies, bring on the gas.

[Sarah J]

I've only ever seen the first season, which was great, all written before shooting, none of this make-it-up-as-we-go-along business they're doing now. I think it's going to turn into another Alias and totally suck at the end

[AlanBoss]

awayrio, Don't feel bad. I am still promoting the theory that the "24" connection is to "VIP," the last great, bad show on television. Virtually every supporting player (and Pres. Handbag) were guest stars on "VIP" during it's run. I have mentioned it several times, but... well... nobody cares.

[AlanBoss]

awayrio, Don't feel bad. I am still promoting the theory that the "24" connection is to "VIP," the last great, bad show on television. Virtually every supporting player (and Pres. Handbag) were guest stars on "VIP" during it's run. I have mentioned it several times, but... well... nobody cares.

[AlanBoss]

Oops.

[Joeltron!]

So, when Curtis came into Audrey's room and said, "I have great news..." did anyone else out there REALLY want him to say, "I just saved a bunch of money on my insurance by switching to Geiko!" ? I sure did!

But on a more serious(er) note, does anyone know the name of the actress who was the main (and, it looked like, only) flight attendant on the plane Jack Hijacked? Or at least tell me what else she has been in so I won't be driven INSANE by pondering over this?

Thank you.