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Long-distance chiropractic: Bahlaqeem¹

(Thanks to Janice Gelb)

¹WWABAGNFARB

Comments

[Lairbo]

Burda's defense strategy is, "I'm not mentally ill, I'm a quack!"

[American Idle]

Could it be this guy? http://timetraveler.ytmnd.com/

[American Idle]

*sorry, i'm new on here and don't know how to post a link yet

[Kathy P.]

No, I don't think so...This guy apparently had something else in mind...Or out of mind, as may be the case...

[Eleanor]

I find this annoying.

Every time a genius comes up with a new revolutionay method of healing, someone from the - UGH - establishment mocks them.

Sheesh!

I'd give going back in time to a pain-free day a chance!

[eeyore]

For what it's worth, 'Bahlaqeem' means "in pieces" in Hebrew.

[The Sardonicynic]

This is just garbage. My psychic healer told me never to believe in this junk.

[bbescuela]

If only the Ohio State Chiropractic Board could reach back in time and instruct his parents on birth control.

[Lairbo]

Maybe this guy is the Dr. Who of chiropractors. Was there any mention of his method of time travel? A phone box, perhaps?

[mathmom]

Doesn't it seem like the Squeem should be part of the treatment in Bahlaqeem? It's five letters seem to mesh harmoniously with the lucky nine

[Sarah J-A]

Check out his site which contains this key quote: "I am a 10 year old Bassett Hound and I have been in a lot of pain in my neck area. I would even wake up during the night and yowl from the pain. My owner called Jim Burda and described the way I was moping around and walking with my head down. Over the phone he was able to work on me. He found the area in my vertebrae that was out of place and was able to manipulate it into place. I am feeling much better and I hold my head up high again. There hasn’t been a reason to yelp now for several weeks! Thank you.
DaisyMae"

[Eleanor]

*snork* at The Sardonicynic!!

[bbescuela]

*waiting for daisymae to defend herself*

[O. the U(manity)]

I am sceptical ... very ... but if somethin' seems to work, and people are helped by it, then it's prolly worth the $60 ... that's less than the average office call, even in low-priced Nodak ... not to mention the driving to the office, finding a parking space and all that ...

I wonder if he could've realigned my Charlehorse about 0300 this a.m. ...

and ...

Delusional Disorder, Grandiose Type wbagnfarb?

[Betsy]

I'll take you back in time, Kathleen
Through bygone days and long lost years
To when you first put on your squeem
Ere you succumbed to endless tears.

Tho angels high and doctors low
Could not relieve your endless pain
I've found a man whose testimo-
Nials tell of health restored again.

Oh I will give you back, Kathleen
The health that through your body flowed;
and quash, through Burda's Bahlaqeem,
The squeamish screams your squeem bestowed.

[insomniac]

Bahlaqeem - a little dab'll do ya!

"Hello, Dr. Burda's office."

"My back still hurts."

"Dr. Burda hasn't gone back in time yet to fix it."

"Wouldn't it already be fixed anyway?"

"You'd think so, wouldn't you? But the ways of temporal kinesiology are not for us mere mortals to understand."

"This is nuts. I'm gonna sue!"

"You do next year, and you lose. That'll be 60 dollars."

[Edgar Greenberg]

I think he should call his service "Back to the Future"!

[Sondra]

He's not very informed. There's a guy in Arkansas who claims to do exactly the same thing. I haven't mailed my check, yet, though.

[Peri]

"Burda, my man! I've just been in a car wreck and my arms are off. Get them to realign, yeah? Cheers, dude!"

Later...

"They're on the wrong way, dude! I'm cancelling the cheque."

[JT]

Can't he just reach back in time and fix it so that he's never discovered? He could also go back to the eighties and invest in Microsoft to pay for his defending himself.

[O. the U(manity)]

Temporal Kinesiology wbagnfa band made up of PE Majors ...

[Lairbo]

I once got handed a flyer for a "psychic tarot card/palm reader" with the printed phone number crossed out and a new one scribbled in with pen. Made me wonder how she didn't see that coming, and kinda undermined her credentials as a seer of the spirit world and such.

[herb]

I hope this guy reaches back in time to wipe before he flushes.

[O. the U(manity)]

Lairbo -

I'm agreein' with the principle of your thots above ...

I mean, they spend all that money on ads, when they know I'm not gonna call their number ...

Must be the other suckers - er - viewers that they've got conned, eh?

[Ernie G]

"Maybe this guy is the Dr. Who of chiropractors."

No, he plays first base.

[Pirateboy]

A specific combination of nine letters? Um, we call that a word, Einsten. And the word I'm thinking of has only eight specific letters. I'll help you out by giving you the first and last letters: B an T.

[stinky]

i would guess that his patients are obsessed with his time travel, and want to ask him all kinds of questions rather than tell him about their aches and pains. even I get back pain now and then, but I mean c'mon, the guy has seen an ACTUAL BRONTOSAURUS!

[Betsy]

But PB...these are VERY SPECIAL letters;)

[Paul Robeson]

In a VERY SPECIAL order ...

[Brad]

Bahlaqeem is also a great anti-masculine itch oitment with a pepperment fresh tingle that lets you know it's working.

[Mike "Dr. Mad's Dork" Weasel]

Yeah, I think if I had discovered the ability to time travel, I'd use it for something other than chiropracty*.

(*Is that a word?)

[Catherine Moore]

I first read an article about Dr Burda on April 7, 2006. It wasn’t the most flattering article so why would I contact him? Well, first of all I have been working with Alternative Healers of every sort for decades & even taken classes on several of them. But I was still in pain, having to get Epidurals & nothing was working. I had been working with a Remote Quantum Touch Healer who spent a great deal of time working on me yet still no success. After the first remote treatment from Dr Burda (I’m in North Carolina) I began walking better than I had in 3 years! People who saw me were shocked! As was I. I was able to do those simple little things that I hadn’t been able to do for ages, such as stand at the counter to make a sandwich, shampoo my own hair & even did some of my own laundry. Those little things that we all take for granted until we can no longer do them. I thank God DAILY for Dr Burda because honestly I was at the point where I no longer wanted to live. You can scoff all you want & I must laugh because I know this man is the “Real Deal”. I pray that those who are suffering as I was to seek his help. As for those who want to put him down and make jokes, well those people have always been around now haven’t they? And they always will be. I don’t say this to be mean but they just don’t know. They are afraid and they have closed their minds and we all know that once you close your mind you cease to learn, expand or grow. And worse, you will surely miss the blessings and Miracles of God that are all around you. I pity those and pray their disease of ignorance doesn’t spread.