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April 19, 2006

WOMAN OF THE WEEK SO FAR

We found out about this from judi, whose reaction was, and we quote, "Yowza."

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*ahem*

Appears I'm first. The inmates are "planning something"...ya think???

Judi is correct.

She probably figured that none of the male guards would be able to find the pin...

So much for Kegel exercises.

Those grenades should really come with a warning - "For external use only."

Yikes!!

Annie, it was the Kegel exercizes that gave her the strength to hold it in. :)

So what would motivate a woman to do this? Was it love or money?

And I would add, Yikes and Yowza also.

El - yes, but she better not practice while she's um, packing. "Grenada? Dang near killed 'er!"

OK, a party ain't a party until a chick pulls a grenade and some righteous parfait out of her hoo-hoo

just sayin'

my sister had got to do an update for her book...

giggle @ Annie and El

And you too Lairbo

what, I don't get a giggle? how about a tolerant yet obviously forced smile? I'll settle for that

I just read that article out loud to my flatmate, and her response was, "So what?"

That's right, she said SO WHAT?

She is a different breed of female, I think.

What tipped them off? Her walk? Drug sniffing dogs (and really the way dogs behave normally, sniffing her crotch really isn't probable cause for a search, I'm just saying)?

And I reiterate judi's Yowza.

El, I don't know if you received the smooches I sent you earlier on another thread (don't ask me which one. cuz I don't remember), but you seemed to think that I had abandoned you for slyeyes. Not true. I love you both. :)

And believe, me, there's enough of me to go around! ;)

Hey, if you do that in New Orleans, you can get a righteous set of beads!

TC, we're just afraid that if we let you see us laughing, snorking, smiling or encouraging you in any way, you might invite us to one of those "parfait magically appears from the hoo-hoo" parties.

It's just not our brand of fun. :)

Prisoner: I'd bang her.

Guard: You got that right.

Didn't mean to ignore you TC. Would a giggle, a hairflip, and two snaps up make up for it?

slyeyes! I was just thinkin' that! EYE-YI-YI!

Snork @ slyeyes.

It said drugs and grenade were in a cylindrical container. duh

No pity giggles.

I think they discovered her when they heard whistling.

Lisa - yes (excellent hairflip BTW)

Annie - mind your own business - I'll take my giggles (and hairflips) any way I can get 'em

With apologies to Groucho Marx...

Lidia oh Lidia, say have you met Lidia?
Lidia the Grenade Lady.
She has very dangerous labia.
Your privates could land in Arabia.
Lidia oh Lidia, I’m glad I ne’er didya
Lidia she comes with a bang.
Though the reefer she carries, it ain’t worth a dang,
She’s willing to share it with you and your gang,
Just don’t try to tickle her yin with your yang,
You could detonate fair Lidia!

La la la, la la la
La la la, la la la

If you are in stir, you just wait for her
On visiting day she will be your pal.
With a weapon and pot, there’s a reasonable shot
That you’ll find your escape in her birth canal.

La la la, la la la
La la la, la la la

*snork* @ford.

My sis and I used to sing the original of that song when we were kids. I should direct her here.

Prisoner (whispering): Did you bring it?
Lydia (whispering): Yeah. It's right down here.
Prisoner: Cool. Give it to me now while the guards aren't watching. Quickly!
Lydia: Here.
Prisoner (Shouting): What the h*ll kind of file is this??!

I'm guessing they became suspicious of her by the way she was walking and, under her breath, saying "no. sudden. move--ments."

Your Royal Daveness,

Apparently I missed the email, letter, and stripogram you sent making your announcement, but MOTW clued me in.

So, uh, congrats to you and Brad.

Naturally, I paid off your oosik for a photo.

"Baby, do you love me?"

"You know I do baby bo baby baby baby!"

"And you'll wait for me, no matta how long I'm locked up?"

"Even longer."

"That don't make sense. Once I'm out, you won't have to wait."

"Yeah, but if I did have to, for some reason, I would, baby."

"Cool. I need you to do something for me baby."

"Anything."

"I'm gonna need you to smuggle a working military grenade into the prison, in your vagina."

"What?"

"And some weed."

"I hope you rot in here, jail booty."

I wuz merely thinkin' ... even before I saw sly's post ... that p'haps she just wanted a quick ban ... um ... nevermind ...

Prisoner: Lydia, you fool! I said bring a "gay aide," not a "grenade!"
...NTTAWR...boom!

NTTAWW my spelling!

if any of you kids had watched south park tonite, you'd have seen a variation on this "concept"... i.e. oprah's vagina holding folks hostage at gunpoint. so... y'know, anything's possible, i guess. (i'm just sayin'...)

*snap* I missed that oprah epsiode of south park tonight, ah well, as long as I don't miss it when they poke fun at the tomkat alien baby.

*still waiting for my 'giggle' from Tiny....tap, tap, tap...*

did the guards shout out "Fire in the hole!"

*zzznorkzzz* at insom.

"Okay, weed...check. Grenade...check. Little pin that's supposed to hold the handle down...umm...

"Get back here, baby, I think you forgot something!"

*snork* at c-bol for "jail booty"

Here comes Lydia Pot-in-tail,
Hoppin' to her man in jail.
Hippity, hoppity, packin' a grenade.

She had nerve and little class,
The guards heard clanking from her a$$.
Clickety, clankety, don't try to get laid!

... um ... mebbe she wuz merely tryin' out a new version of enema and found the wrong ... um ... nevermind ...

that would be one hell of a lap dance!

If anyone cares, here is what a M67 grenade looks like. The handle on the side must have been quite a trick,either going on or out. What an IUD!

snork@ slyeyes, and thanks ford for the groucho-ness. i had a snarky comment too, but not as good as the above.... so never mind. all i can think of is that grenades are good in so far as.........

I'm with you Wally, don't quite get the logistics of it (i.e. how did it fit?).

one comment, lube, lots and lots of lube

Remember kids: Once you pull the pin, Mr Grenade is no longer your friend.

Always double-check the visitors who waddle like ducks...

jemmy, are you charles II's illegitimate son? if so, would you like to marry me?

snork @ ford (i sent that to my chorus director, whose quartet sings the 'real' version.)

my REAL response was "she's going to be awfully disappointed the next time she {is with a man}," because the one i read was more like this one which includes the dimensions of the objects.

judi's link explains that these items were in a TUBE (albeit a big tube). That makes the story a lot easier to swallow (sorry)


...and the pot was just packing material inside the tube to minimize the clanking noise.

lol

excuse me, but is that your private storage area clanking, or are you just glad to see me?

At the age of 44 she was running the risk a hot flash would trigger that grenade...and bake the parfait.

judi - she's really lucky the drug-sniffing dog didn't get her!

Boinkin' her would really be a blast!
(sorry, I had to do it)

All I can say is she must have been very experienced in these matters. If it went off would she blow out or up. Sounds like missle material to me.

I'm thinking since the inmates were convicted of rape, maybe she was planning to give them the grenade... sans pin.

A belated *snork* @ annie and judi!

"Police who inspected the M-67 grenade said it was in working order." No information on the working order of the holster.

I suppose that gives a new meaning to the the phrase "That girl's a real firecracker".

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