THOSE TERRORIST BASTARDS

Now they're using radioactive seagull poop.

(Yes, this is old. But it was sent by Ridley.)

Comments

[Eleanor]

OLD?!?!?!?

I'd say Ridley's a teeny bit behind on his reading material!! :)

[Chianca at Large]

In a related story, Iran claims it is using its sea birds strictly for energy production.

[Eleanor]

Yes. I. Was.

[bahoola]

thanks Dave, I was having a great day
until you decide to remind us all that we're gonna
die, it's gonna be ugly and painful,
it's gonna rain nuclear waste and radioactive birdshit...
thanks Dave, thanks alot

[fivver]

Bringing a whole new meaning to the term 'atomic pile.'

[bahoola]

can these birds be trained?
i'm envisioning a sychronized attack,
a bombardment, and if the gulls are shot
down then the enemy ends up eating
radioactive BBQ, HA! take that you bad
enemy person, don't mess with the U.S.
we're experts at training birds...

[bahoola]

kill the enemy by contaminating the food chain...
this must be a program left over from the
Nixon administration...

[MartiniShark]

If it isn't radioactive enough to kill a seagull should I be all that worried?

Radioactive material gets into the oceans from natural geological processes on the sea floor.
In other words there is nothing we can do to stop it, yet they had to add the bit that mankind is contributing to the mess.

Reminds me of a story on the volcano in the Carribean that blew, and in the statistics they said it produced more metric tons of CO2, chlorine gases, and flourocarbons than all of the cars on the planet produce in a year. And that volcano is older than my AMC Gremlin, so why am I being blamed for the ozone hole?

[bahoola]

Song and lyric actually about birds & bird droppings
literally prdicting the perdicament we find ourselves in now. Song writers? prophets?

RADIOACTIVE
The Firm

Well I'm not uptight
Not unattracted
Turn me on tonight
Cause I'm radioactive
Radioactive

There's not a fight
And I'm not your captive
Turn me loose tonight
Cause I'm radioactive
Radioactive

I want to stay with you
I want to play with you baby
I want to lay with you
And I want you to know

Got to concentrate
don't be distractive
Turn me on tonight
Cause I'm radioactive
Radioactive
Radioactive
Radioactive

I want to stay with you
I don't want to play with you
I want just to lay with you
And I want you to know

Got to concentrate
don't be distractive
Turn me on tonight
Cause I'm radioactive oh yeah
Oh yeah radioactive
Don't you stand, stand too close
You might catch it

[CoastRaven]

Talk about yer dirty bombs!
It may be old, but it hasnt gone beyond its halflife yet.

[bahoola]

"for evry action there is an equal and oppisite reaction"
therefore,
radioactive bird droppings is equal and opposite to
nuclear testing fallout?

therefore Nuclear Testing Fallout, NTF =
Radioactive Bird Droppings, RBD,
finally,
NTF=RBD,
Where Fallout is equal to Droppings,
and nulear tesing is opposite to birds,
(i.e. Birds fly up, bombs drop down)

[bahoola]

solution:
I propose a concert:
Bono will be involved of course,
BONO's fight against Radioactive Guano,

Live from the Artic wastes on pay per view

[bahoola]

if we can track birds by tagging,
perhaps we can track droppings as well,
inject different colored dyes into birds
and the results will look something like a Pollack
painting, only radiocative, and stinky..er

[bahoola]

National geographic Society's
Radiocative Mating, rated R

[insomniac]

Rudolph , who fed on lichen
Contaminated though it's froze
Set off the Geiger counters
And now it's everywhere he glows!

All of the other reindeer
With their bald patches and bleeding sores
Couldn't figure out how Rudolph
Oozed gamma rays from every pore!

They say a nucular accident
Spilled cesium one-three-seven
Made Santa and his elves call out
"Won't you stop this here fallout?"

Though all the reindeer stagger
And Santa's taken to his bed
You'll have a merry Christmas
If your chimney's lined with lead!

[KDF]

(Yes, this is old. But it was sent by Ridley.)

Dave, what are you saying, exactly? That old news is okay, but only if it comes from Ridley? That Ridley makes everything old new again? That you wouldn't have blogged this if it had come from someone else? Does Ridley have higher postability status than say, Claire Martin?

And Vast Piles of Guano WBAGNFAGrungeRB.

[fivver]

KDF - I think Ridley has the negatives IYKWIM.

[KDF]

Oooooh!

Got it. ;)

[kibby F5™]

Anyone else find this distrubing that it's the second, consecutive, blog regarding .... poop?

And I'd find 2 years collecting poop to be a bit trying .... I'd probably go knuts too.

BTW. There's a recent report that birds around Cernobyl AREN'T experiencing high radiation levels... hum...

[bahoola]

Q: human droppings.. radioactive?
Q: are these droppings being studied and tested, if not why?, O.K., I can think of why,
but shouldn't we hold the scientific community
responsible if we're all radioactive and we
don't know it, just because our droppings end
up in toilets rather than on the rocky outcroppings
of artic waste lands...
experiment: test and evaluate droppings from early
researcher- explorers who must certainly have
dropped droppings up in the artic regions, or was it carry in / carry out back then..
well, some never came back so they couldn't have carried out...
in any event, compare relative radioactive levels
of early explorer droppings with levels found
in contemporary explorer droppings,
...these contemporary dropping can be gathered conviently here by scoping out the bathrooms of the
science labs where explorers drop droppings, thereby
eliminating a trip to the artic just to get explorer
droppings, which are probably carried back because of
the carry in / carry out policy etc. etc...

[crossgirl]

kibby, yes, i'm disturbed. especially after yesterday's high number of posts concerning farts.

[fivver]

kibby @ crossgirl - I would say things seem to be firming up but that would be disgusting.

[kibby F5™]

...subs & for @ in previous post.

[fivver]

Thank you. My finger will be severely punished.

[kibby F5™]

*shakes finger at fivver's finger*

No! No! Now got to your room!

[bahoola]

i'm at peace again Dave,
i've turned to faith to find
my center, I also just emptied all the
bird feeders, ...dirty radioactive little a-holes
can eat somewhere else...
and remember, this is not evolution,
this is intelligent design,
i'm sure the one great supreme designer
has something in mind, there is a place,
a meaning, and a design for radiocative birds,
i'd bet my radioactive chicken nuggets on it...

[wolfie]

I thought he was throwing you at crossgirl kibby, which would indeed cause something to firm up I'm thinking.
Don't know why you'd want to punish him for doing such a thing.

[kibby F5™]

*shakes finger again*

GOOD Boy! GOOD Boy!

[bahoola]

no, that's a lie,
my faith has been shaken to the core,
there is no supreme anything,
Designer-God, whatever...
how could such a One
allow this, THIS, to happen...
poor helpless birds,
with little radioactive colons and sphincters,
i bet it's painful to poop radioactive poop,
these birds, theses creatures are suffering because of our mindless, Godless ways of living...
there is no God,
Shut Up!,
no, you shut up,
screw you bird lover!
SAVE the BIRDS!,
Intelligent Evolution?
God's Guano?
Who'da thunk it would end this way?

[bahoola]

Dateline 2051:

Surface of Earth buried under hardening shell
of radioactive guano:
Nixon Administration program to defeat the enemy
is rated a success!

[Phillip (not my real name) Conrad]

Oh, I get it. Dave Barry posts something on each day, and then goofballs post replies.

Here is a good phrase spliced from (sort of) two that were found in the article:
Vast piles of Radio Guano.

I like it.

[Exorcista]

Hi. I guesswe all should be worry about all the things that surround us. We must take care of this planet and all the people that live in it.
Bye...

[kibby F5™]

Radio Guano!

A pirate station? COOOOOOOL!!!!

*goes in search of his FM dial*

[Leetie]

*snork* @ Insom!™

[sthnbelle]

Phillip - who you calling goofballs?

[KDF]

All our goofballs are belong to us.

[Betsy]

Glad you're so sanguine, Mr. Shark.

But we have all the naturally-occurring radiation and atmospheric pollution, etc., PLUS the addition of all the crud we're managing to feed into the atmosphere. And less and less uncontaminated water and air and vegetation to help process it.

I guess the martini helps, though.:)

[Sondra]

I know there can't be much to do in the Arctic, but inspecting bird poop...?

[Kathy P.]

Nothing would kill a seagull, just sayin', you who wondered if it was that bad if the radioactivity didn't kil the seagulls....

[CJrun]

The issue here isn't high levels, enough to kill the gulls or the fish/ crustaceans they are feeding on. That would be bad, but it would be over for the individual gull/ fish/ crustacean.

What they will really be concerned about is genetic mutations affecting the offspring, or cellular mutations causing cancers, etc., long term. That could get very ugly when your talking about the cold water fishes, etc., that are the chief basis of the food chain.

[Eleanor]

Vast Piles?

Shouldn't a proctologist be called in?

ick

[AFKA tsktsk]

goofballs...we don't need no stinkin goofballs..

[azred]

<<>> Ridley got posted...... Ridley got posted.....

**doing drunken snoopy happy dance for ridley since he didn't do it for himself**

sheesh, gotta do ALL the work around here!

whut?

[mUFFLES]

They spent two years between 2000 and 2002 collecting soil

Two years, huh? So what'd they do with the rest of their time up there?

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Since Ridley sent the article late, I decided it's okay to post late on this item.

First: snork @ insom

Second: Why hasn't ArticAl commented on this item? Al, we'd be interested in your thoughts.

Third: I have a birdfeeder outside my window. Should I be worried??