LEGAL EXCUSE OF THE WEEK SO FAR
(Thanks to RussellMc)
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Your Blogging Staff
Contributing to this blog:
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
- "Dave" is Dave Barry, who is a humor columnist and presidential contender.
- "judi" is Judi Smith, who is Dave's Research Department, as well as being interested in men.
- "Walter" is Walter, a bone from the penis of a walrus.
Mother always said it would fall off from doing that sort of thing.
Posted by: Addicted to 24 | April 12, 2006 at 04:42 PM
first
Posted by: first timer | April 12, 2006 at 04:42 PM
FIRST AGAIN I RULE!!!!!!!
Posted by: Addicted to 24 | April 12, 2006 at 04:42 PM
But it seems the bit about going blind must have been a lie.
Posted by: «LabSpecimen» | April 12, 2006 at 04:42 PM
snap!
Posted by: first timer | April 12, 2006 at 04:43 PM
should make for a dramatic courtroom moment when he "presents" his "defense" ...
Posted by: rory shock | April 12, 2006 at 04:45 PM
"pssst, hey kids, how'd you like to see what was recently labeled 'Exhibit A' ?"
Posted by: insomniac | April 12, 2006 at 04:45 PM
repulsive behavior, sure, but at least it's a safer passtime than driving into a farmers' market.
Posted by: lurker | April 12, 2006 at 04:46 PM
We had an 78-year-old here arrested for indecent exposure and for trying to grope some woman in an elevator. His last name was Whipple. Seriously...
Needless to say, every variation of "Don't Squeeze the Charmin" jokes were abundant around the courthouse for awhile....
He never tried to claim he'd lost his penis, though. He had some dignity.
Posted by: clark kent | April 12, 2006 at 04:46 PM
Hmm, I wonder if he left it in his other pants?
Posted by: Turd Ferguson | April 12, 2006 at 04:51 PM
A+ for creativity !
Posted by: Eleanor | April 12, 2006 at 05:06 PM
I'll bet Eleanor could determine the truth of his claim in a single *zip*!
Posted by: Betsy | April 12, 2006 at 05:12 PM
*sneaks off to someplace private to make sure his is still attached*
What? Considering how often I lose my car keys, wallet, and glasses, it's a distinct possibility!
Posted by: djtonyb | April 12, 2006 at 05:22 PM
Maybe its because his past partners told him that they couldn't feel anything, so he came to believe that it was gone.
Posted by: ArcticAl | April 12, 2006 at 05:52 PM
ROFL and LMAO at ArcticAl!! :)
Posted by: Eleanor | April 12, 2006 at 06:16 PM
I think I saw that guy at the carnival once!
Posted by: MoFaux | April 12, 2006 at 07:33 PM
Key Quote: "I have dry skin, and I have to itch it a lot."
Eleanor, mind if I borrow a *wide-eyed look*?
Posted by: KDF | April 12, 2006 at 08:39 PM
The man is 81 years old. Perhaps he's also forgotten the Korean War, the civil rights movement, and his home address?
"I hate everything except Judge Wopner!" <- Grandpa Simpson.
Posted by: Pirateboy | April 12, 2006 at 10:27 PM
parts that men his age typically have
Is there an age at which parts start dropping off?
Posted by: Sondra | April 13, 2006 at 01:43 PM
I read that one in the paper yesterday. I'm just waiting to see , so to speak, how it comes "out", if indeed it does....
Posted by: Kathy P. | April 13, 2006 at 03:03 PM
So do you think this defense will stand up in court?
(Groann...)
Posted by: Militant Grammarian | April 14, 2006 at 08:37 AM
How many degrees of lewdness are there anyways?
Posted by: John | April 16, 2006 at 05:30 PM