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April 27, 2006


Lobster abuse


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Seems to me they'd be much less aware of their impending doom when sitting on a block of ice, no?

The only real lobster abuse is slathering them in butter! A little lemon juice is all you need. *DROOL*

DJ - I think lobsters in water are blissfully unaware of their fate. Sitting out in the open, they HAVE to know something is different... plus they can see all the folks at the tables wearing bibs with their picture on them.

Laugh all you want, people, but when the lobsters unite and rise up to attack the human race, I will be able to say with complete honesty that I could never afford to eat them and stuck to fish sticks...

I may be the only human left alive... until the fish sticks get organized.

I think I saw "Lobsters on Ice" the last time it was in town. Looked humane to me.

I go with the Julia Child method, myself. Hold it down with one hand and whack it down the middle with a cleaver held in the other. It is a little bit disconcerting to have two lobster halves that are still moving crawling around your cutting board, but I do like to give my guests a show before dinner ;)

Whew! They're talking about COOKING lobsters. I thought maybe somebody saw me.... wait, did I just say that out loud?

BJJB - The unshellfish thing to do to is to experimentally determine whether the lobsters themselves prefer butter or lemon juice. It should also be noted that lobsters are bisque-averse.

*quickly covers his lobsters with seaweed and puts them in the refrigerator*


i've always prefered my lobsters over ice.

Great article! Gives me an idea for a promotional slogan!

Ask any mermaid you happen to see,
"What's the best lobster?" "Cockroaches of the Sea!"

Maybe we should do an experiment with two PETA members on the best way to store lobsters. We'll put one PETA rep submerged in a big tank of water and another PETA rep naked on the ice in the high arctic. We'll see who suffers the least. Then we'll let the lobsters eat them.

I wonder if these animal rights folks ever watch Iron Chef? My personal favorite was the one where the chef tried to make live eels unconscious before killing them by dousing them with some sort of alcohol. That really ticked them off, so they flopped out of the tub onto the floor, where they were scooped up by sous-chefs, then beheaded and filleted, still flailing, by the ever-popular giant kitchen knife. That's entertainment.

I've never understood what is so great about eating lobster, anyway. My feeling is, if it has a hard shell that's tough to crack, and it also has claws, it probably should be left alone.

*snork* at Bumble

Jemmy~ Did you ever see the "Star Trek: Voyager" episode where Seven of Nine went on her first date? When presented with a lobster dinner, she looked at it with disdain and said, "This creature has an exoskeleton." That about sums it up. I tried lobster tail on my birthday once. I don't see what all the fuss is about. My trout was better. But my sister says if I really want to try good lobster, it should be at a better restaurant than Red Lobster. So I'll probably never try good lobster. :-)

If you're worried about lobster abuse, try this instead.

xmnr~ That's interesting. My mother claims that when my great grandmother was pregnant, she craved chimney soot and clay soil. Perhaps it has something to do with the body needing minerals found in foods not available to these people? Whatever the reason, it's icky.

Bumble, you are correct, Sir! There is a scientific name for it that escapes me right now and I am too lazy to look it up, but cravings for things that are not normally considered edible is a sign of something distinctly lacking in your diet. I craved red clay soil and cabbage when I was pregnant. Doc told me to take magnesium supplements on a daily basis. Someone smarter than me will have to explain the connection between dirt and magnesium.

Oh, and lobster.....Mmmmm MMmmmm good!

xmnr ~ I think the girl misread the instructions. It said 'ex'ternal instead on 'in'ternal.

I think he was just trying to numb them before he threw them into the hot boiling water. Seems rather humane to me. I don't know that I'd particularly like to be boiled alive unless I've been numbed into unconsciousness first. Who made these rules anyway?

The correct name for the disorder is Pica.

"snork" @ everyone
As an aside:
"The local press here noted that the case has given the restaurant operator some excellent, free publicity ."
On that note,I am a habitual abuser of daisies and arborvitae, please come by for a free landscaping quote.

Casey - that's no Sir. That's a Lady.

Big steroid-fed bugs on a plate. I'll just drink my water, thanks. And avert my eyes while the shells fly around the table. :)

*dry heaves*

*takes lobster carcass, removes antennae, sticks behind ears, removes eyestalks, sticks to his glasses, wears carapace as a hat, and chases KDF around with a large claw held in either hand*

"...four years ago there were no specific guidelines on maintaining live lobsters, regulations which entered the law books only in 2004."
It's a good thing the European Union is focused on lobster laws instead of - oh let's think - getting their freaking economies out of the tank.

Cheesewiz - should their economies be on ice instead of in the tank?

Hey djtonyb, can we see a picture of that?

*douses Tony with melted butter and lemon juice*

Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah, nyah! That's gonna stain!


*...feels ... not so...*

*passes out while shielding self with buttery plates*

Trillian - unfortunately, I'm usually asked to leave the restaurant before proper photographic evidence is taken.

Cheesewiz ~ It's only a matter of time before we will pass the same crazed laws by girly-men law makers. (no slight on the very girly-girls in this blog). Wait..that doesn't sound right.

*digs deeper hole for himself*

*jump in*

*takes pic of DJT from outside restaurant*

You know, if they want to sell more lobsters in Italy, perhaps they should stop referring to them as "cockroaches of the sea" but, maybe, that's just me.

On second thought, I wonder if Jessica Simpson thinks they're real cockroaches...

casey & djtonyb~ Thanks for the medical update. :-)

Blue~ Thanks for clearing up the gender confusion there. Btw, why the heck is the German word for girl neuter rather than feminine? It's weird. All the other girl words are feminine, and all the boy words are masculine.

*wanders off to Cracker Barrel humming "She's a Lady"*

nice shot, Bangi!

djtony: what is up with you? You have been in a extraordinarily silly mood today. Are you in love? New meds? Reaction to sunshine? (That's my excuse - sort of the opposite of the seasonal affect disorder.)

C'mon, tell.

Bumble - glad to help, didn't realize you were also confused.

Can't give you the rhyme nor the reason behind German noun gender associations. Kinda baffling to me too.

*Wanders off to German restaurant humming "Dude Looks Like a Lady"* ;)

:D niiiice...
*stares at DJT's lobsters...pictures*

mud - none of the above, just plain silly. Lord knows it can't be exposure to sunshine... I've got to be the whitest person in Florida. If I go out in the daytime, you can actually see my circulatory system. *curses day job*

hahaa dj, that made me laugh out loud. i have a friend with coloring like that - she calls it irish phosphoresense. i have lotsa melanin, but i keep out of the sun anyway. its not safe. and i think lobsters are deeee-lish.

queensbee - I can actually get a good tan, if I ever had the chance to go out in the sunlight. One wouldn't know it to look at me, however. I'm a night owl anyway, so this daylight stuff usually bothers me. The only reason I'm up and working is because the rest of the world thinks that's what we should be doing during the day.

I, too come from northern european stock - I'm so white that my face, neck and hands are "tan" (sort of a Crayola Peach) all year round, while the rest of me is fish-belly white. Even the sun during an Ohio winter is enough to color my pale ass.

pale ass. Lobsters...now this

"fish-belly white"?! uuuuughhhh...TMI, TMI! -that's enough to scare me back to work.

Sorry. At least I didn't mention the odor... Did I say that out loud?

Can't hear you, I'm wooooorking!!! La la la....

back to your question, mud, the owner of the bar I moonlight at on weekends often asks me what the hell kind of drugs I'm on, cause I'm usually in such a good mood. My job consists of listening to music, fiddling with a computer, and drinking Jaegermeister all night... why wouldn't I be happy? Of course, I have no explanation for being this silly on a Thursday, but I'm usually pretty silly all around the clock.

My wife always complains about her legs being too white... I find it best not to mention that though.

Sorry I was distracted by the ad at the top that had a reasonably old man and woman in front of a golf course, and the message beside it said, "You can do both." I didn't catch the rest, that was too much for me.

Deutsch Boy~ I wasn't confused, thank you very much. I said the confusion, not my confusion. Go eat your wienerschnitzel. :-P

At a Keyboard: How much?

DJ: I know, you've mentioned that before. I'm only slightly jealous.

When is someone going to address the real issue -- the fact that lobsters, which are IN the cockroach family, are actually CONSUMED. Which means that people EAT them. But putting them in their, y'know, MOUTHS.

... why does no one else find this disgusting?!?!?

(Although, I actually really like lobsters. I mean, when they're alive, and swimming around, and stuff. Not to EAT. Sheesh.)

V, there are people that even eat cockroaches
Although I'm guessing slightly fewer than number of people that eat these

Perhaps even than the number of people who eat these

*sadly disappointed*

fudtheman -- Scary thought, though, eh??

Also, that first photo was REALLY scary.

If I may:

"The general opinion of lobstermen is that a hard shell lobster can survive out of the water for 24 hours or more, while soft shell lobsters, those which are re-growing their shells after shedding, are best kept in water."

This means that not only do Lobstermen exist, but news organizations are seeking their opinions!

It's only a matter of time before a Lobsterman becomes director of Homeland Security. Oh wait...

*snork* @ dj and thanks for the science lesson--I never knew all that! ;-)

Lobsters are NOT in the same family as cockroaches, despite the fact that some people seem to think they look similar. (I'd think that if you're comparing lobsters to land creepy-crawlies, scorpions would be a more obvious match.)

But anyway, the hierarchy goes:
Kingdom: Animal
Phylum: Arthropoda

...and that's as far as the similarities go between cockroaches and lobsters. From there they branch off into completely separate directions -- insects and crustaceans. Class -> Order -> Family -> Genus -> Species are all different.

Lobster abuse?

Would the PETA wackos be happier if we just let the lobsters do it until they need glasses?

Merely wonderin' ...

I just hate that it's always so late by the time I can read your comments. DJT had me laughing out loud.

Wavey is right, of course. When I was a young Pre-starve [that's what they called biologists where I went to school, as we had to take the same classes as the Pre-meds, but no job prospects], a marvelous grad student gave us this phrase:

Keep Pot Cold Or Forget Getting Stoned. Kingdom, Phylum, Class, Order, Family, Genus, Species. It was so funny and useful that I have never had to think twice about the arrangement since. Not scorpions, which are in the family of spiders, but the shrimp and crabs. Crabs are lobsters or shrimp with their tails folded underneath. As good as lobster is, I'd say stone crab claw is the equal. And the cool thing is, the crab gets tossed back and grows a new claw. Renewable crabegy. I've studied these guys for years and I have actually watched a stone crab remove its own claw in a stressful situation. Like 'Here, take this.' Meat fruit.

fudtheman -- I thought I posted yesterday how, in fact, disgusting, that picture of the cockroach was ... but apparently, my second entry got eaten when I tried to post it. Possibly by a lobster.

Anyway, the honey ant is even WORSE than the lobster, but neither are going to top that ginormous cockroach picture.

There should be some sort of warning about staying away from those pictures if you are anywhere NEAR your lunch hour ...

Wavey -- fair enough, but I'm still not eating them. Because even the same PHYLUM leaves the two species too closely-related.

I hear ya. I don't think lobsters look very appetizing on the plate. I just had snow crab at Red Lobster a little while ago, and that always looks REAL appetizing at first. A pile of weird alien legs, complete with a device to crack them open and another device to pick the meat out of the leg. They taste good if you can get past that, though.

Days later and nobody has asked the question, "What's the difference between meat and lobster?"

The answer, of course, is, "If you beat your lobster, it'll die."

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