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April 26, 2006

HEADLINE OF THE DAY SO FAR

(Thanks to ShadowKatmandu)

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First?
Important quote from the article:

"Males need practice. After a couple of months of practicing, they get it lined up just right," Holekamp told LiveScience.

Isn't the same with people?

Oh my. Where to start?

That's why we like to do it so much - we're just practicing.

"... giving birth through a 'penis' isn't a trivial problem."

Sorry, what was that? I think I blacked out for a minute.

"Hormone Surge" WByou know the rest.

Because of the female's awkward genitalia, successful mating for hyenas is tricky to pull off. It takes careful positioning for the male to crouch behind her and somehow get his penis to point up and backwards to enter her clitoris.

This is no laughing matter.

This is no laughing matter.

As I'm sitting with my legs tightly crossed the thought "waaaaayyyy too much information" keeps crossing my mind...

Words escape me.

I don't know where to start. *Wanders off thinking how glad I am I'm not a hyena*

Why didn't we learn about this on the National Geographic Channel?

"Imagine giving birth through a penis"...

No, thanks. I'd rather not.

*bill clinton joke? not legal in georgia joke? twit and k-fed joke? k-fed and female hyena joke? k-fed and male hyena joke?* *nothing*

ENTER!?? hoooooooooooooooly...

For hyennas living is hairy
and birthing particularly scary
the cub when it's done
may rip dear old mum
'cause she's got genitalia contrary

What's disturbing is that someone had to study all the hyeana genitalia close up to know this. I mean they had to stick their face real close.

*shudders *

Tell me again about Intelligent Design???

*snork* at mud

Mary Holekamp?

Making little hyena's no breeze
Say experts, "It starts like a sneeze,
Though more orgiastic
And sort of gymnastic
And ends up with a case of the fleas."

OUCH!!!!!

the hyenas are in a fix
they've got their sex parts mixed
the males are beyotches
and in the female's crotches
no Bonny Beavers, just d!cks

Her clitoris, which contains the birthing canal, protrudes 7 inches from her body.

I bet it's closer to 5 inches. She says it's 7 inches to impress the fellas.

It's really weird genitalia, but it seems to work...

If I had a dollar for every time I heard that...

STOP!!! You guys are killing me...

Special *SNORK* to poet laureates mud & insom...

"The Painful Realities" WBAGNFARB, as would "Hyena Sex". Ok, now I gotta get ready to go to work. :(

The hyena, afraid of a gaffe,
Consulted his friend the giraffe.
The giraffe said, "Say what!??
Are you some kind of nut??
If that's true, then pray, why do you laugh?"

"Males need practice. After a couple of months of practicing, they get it lined up just right."

That's amazing. There are guys that practice for years and never get it right.

Just means that male hyenas are quicker learners, Annie.

maybe because they ask for directions - "Hyena" comes from "High enough?"

the hyena wins
the contest of genitals
that I'm glad aren't mine

Excellent limericks all. Let me try.

It's tough being a male hyena
You've got to be faster and meaner
And to get satisfaction
During amorous action
You've got to tie knots in your wiener!

There once was a hyena named Sue
Whose privates were in public view
While the boys would all stare
At her derriere
Still they couldn't decide what to do.

*snork* at everybody:)

Betsy has it right. Snorks at everyone. I'll try:

The male of the hyena genus
Say's there's only a few things between us
My angle for entry
Don't bother me 'cause
Just imagine giving birth from a pen!s!

*SNORK* at the limerick gods.

Have to give special kudos to Ford79 (who else could rhyme "hyena" with "wiener" at such an apropos moment), but Betsy gets my particular regard, as well!

Well!

Whut I learned from this article:

The hyena genitalia is (apparently? obviously?) NOT homolygous to its human counterparts ... merely observin' ...

I heard a hyena named Lena,
Was shortchanged in the sexual arena.
They'd poke and they'd pry,
Til she said with a sigh,
"They don't do it like that in Galena."

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