24

Things are looking good this week. Jack finally got rid of the Killer Kanisters by blowing up the gas works. Granted, the explosion probably killed everybody within a 50-block radius, but as the old saying goes, "you can't make an omelet without leveling a large sector of Los Angeles." The important thing is, the Kanister plot line, which was a total snore-a-palooza, is DEAD. Tragically, Audrey is not, but we can't have everything.

With the Kanisters gone, we can now get to the REAL plot, which probably has something to do with the Big Secret being carried around by deceased-ex-president Allstate's brother Wayne. Last week Wayne was being chased by bad guys through the vast Central Los Angeles Forest. Wayne was rescued by Agent Pierce in an exciting scene, which is described as follows in the official 24 web site episode guide (the entry for 9:46 p.m.):

Pierce and Wayne make their way past his flipped car. Suddenly, a missile wheezes past them. Wayne is knocked down. Pierce returns fire into the darkness at the gunmen. He puts Wayne into his car and they escape.

Yes! A wheezing missile! Probably the deadly AsthmaSonic 2000.

In other news:

Chloe has a new sidekick, Shari, who is competent, dedicated, and, in accordance with the Counter Terrorism Unit's strict hiring guidelines, insane.

Edgar is still dead.

We didn't see the President last week, but we're sure he's still a huevos-free zone.

So that's about it for the plot as we... No, wait! We almost forgot! Jack might be dead. At the end of last week, he disappeared in a ball of flame with the evil terrorist leader Bierko. They didn't show Jack in the previews for this week. Is he dead? Is the season over? We will just have to wait and see!

Also we have a minor conflict caused by the fact that the NCAA, which is apparently run by idiots who did not have the simple human decency to check the 24 schedule, decided to hold the national college-basketball championship game tonight. We here at the blog may have to cut away from 24 from time to time to monitor the game, because we have strong ties to the University of Miami, which means we have to root for the Florida Gators to fail. It’s not personal, Gators fans! It’s just that we hate you.

UPDATE: Audrey sure recovered quickly from extreme torture.

UPDATE: JACK! What a shock.

UPDATE: They do not make terrorists the way they used to, when they made Marwan.

UPDATE: Jack thinks this is bigger than anything they ever imagined! That's pretty big, for a show that had Edgar in it.

UPDATE: Who are these sneaky people?

UPDATE: Mrs. Logan's assistant! That bitch!

UPDATE: They took Evelyn's daughter? Does anybody have ANY idea what's going on? No? Me either. At least there's no canisters.

UPDATE: Evelyn's going to give them the evidence!

UPDATE: Chloe and Shari are so busy THEY CAN'T EVEN SIT DOWN WHEN THEY TYPE!

UPDATE: A unit-wide backslash protocol! Those bastards!

UPDATE: Who are these greasy quiet-talkers? What do they want with Audrey?

UPDATE: Did Wayne say he wants to meet Jack in an old barn? In Los Angeles?

UPDATE: They really want us to like Audrey. WHY??

UPDATE: Jack needs the satellite, dammit!

UPDATE: Audrey must be sleeping with the scriptwriters. All of them.

UPDATE: UCLA 2! Gators NADA.

UPDATE: UCLA 3, Gators 2.

UPDATE: UCLA 4, Gators 4.

UPDATE: The Gators have obviously bribed the refs.

UPDATE: The UCLA cheerleaders are a great deal more attractive than the Gators cheerleaders.

UPDATE: Chloe is gonna deck that woman.

UPDATE: This kind of reminds me of "Days of Our Lives."

UPDATE: They're patching Jack in...

UPDATE: There is nothing lower than kidnaping a child actor.

UPDATE: Chloe's re-tasking the satellite for a full infrared sweep. That is why we love her.

UPDATE: We have no update at this time from the UCLA game.

UPDATE: There's the old barn, such as you find all over the LA area.

UPDATE: Chloe can't BELIEVE the vice president is involved.

UPDATE: I want a PDA like Jack's.

UPDATE: President Handbag! I kind of missed his huevos-free self.

UPDATE: It's almost go time...

UPDATE: Chloe has a nice set of schematics.

UPDATE: The idiot NCAA can't even time the commercial breaks right!

UPDATE: OK, I am going to have to estimate here: UCLA 78, Gators 14.

UPDATE: One down.

UPDATE: Jack has the PDA of DEATH.

UPDATE: Wayne! You go!

UPDATE: Jack is showing a full range of lethality this evening.

UPDATE: Henderson is the Marwan of this season.

UPDATE: It's NOT the vice president! IT'S THE HANDBAG!

UPDATE: UCLA 173, Gators 6.

YOUR OFFICIAL FINAL SCORE: UCLA 687, Gators minus 14.

Comments

[Betsy]

Audrey is have an episode of ballsiness.

[Glow]

Pour some coffee on him, you silly woman!

[homeybeef]

I thik jack just explained the plot and I still don't get it

[bizrey]

Doesn't this guy know who Audrey's dad is? One call from her and he drops a main battle tank on his slimey head! DOHS are total tools

[Suzy Q]

Whoooo - Audrey' s standing up to Homeland guy!

[Silhouette]

It doesn't make sense. Division is supposed to take over CTU, not HLS. They do every year. It's tradition.

[FleaBailey]

My goodness, Jack is certainly quick on the uptake, isn't he?

[mama jodeo]

Way to go Jack, Chloe will do it!!

[Gretchen]

Ooohhh! An evil vice president. I wonder where they got THAT idea!

[Suzy Q]

I want to see what Chloe is going to do with that backlash protocol.

Chloe: Backlash THIS, bitch!!

[ZP]

Yes, with Chloe and a retasked satellite, Jack can have this wrapped up in a couple more hours.

[bizrey]

Audrey signed the statement, "I.P. Freely"

[MaryContrary]

Now Jack has to find the captive hostage baby girl AND defeat the Department of Homeland Security. The plot is picking up!

[Betsy]

Karen is soooooooo eminently hateable!

[Glow]

She signed the document on a verbal deal? Clearly Audrey is really working for the DOD.

[Roger]

signed .. . Jack Mehoff

[JBismyhomeboy]

geez Audrey this better be intelligent...

[homeybeef]

this show IS operating on a random plot generator.

[Betsy]

Commercial! Time for a *snork* @ Gretchen:)

[FleaBailey]

Now we can look forward to when Chloe gives Weasly Homeland Security Guy his comeuppance.

[bizrey]

Don't they know there's no better way to get Jack riled up than by kidnapping someone's daughter?!

[Glow]

Audrey, Audrey, Audrey....

[Kev]

Anyone else think the bureaucrats on this show are even more dangerous to the country than the terrorists? I had enough of them about a month ago with the Hobbit, and now the Dragon Lady may be even worse...

[Suzy Q]

Audrey and Chloe sittin' in a tree.....

[shane]

You can take Chloe out of CTU, but you can't take the CTU out of Chloe.

[daisymae]

At least Audrey got Chloe reinstated. There haven't been enough 'Chloe moments' in this episode.

[Roger]

OK ... OK ... I admit it ... I dig Audrey.

[Glow]

A Big Random Plot Generator, you mean.

[Suzy Q]

snork at shane

[Glow]

Go Gators! :-) Sorry, Dave.

[Betsy]

Kev...since when are bureaucrats NOT as dangerous as terrorists??

(Referring here to High Level bureaucrats, of course)

[bulldog]

Why is Evelyn going home? Wouldn't she live in Washington, DC? Wouldn't her daughter be in DC?

[MaryContrary]

Okay, so the captive hostage child is not a baby girl, but she's still a captive hostage innocent child. So Jack has to find the captive hostage child, outwit the minions of the Department of Homeland Security, as embodied by MilesSlime, and defeat his former-mentor -and-now -nemesis Robocop. And eventually, topple the Vice Presidency. Getting better by the minute!

[Glow]

I think Audrey's and Chloe's relationship is the only one at CTU that's working.

[Betsy]

Boo!

[David W]

We have an inept Pres and a back lot VP pulling the Henderson strings; sounds so much like real life stuff. Personally, I like Kim Ravers, great legs. Here's the VP.....giving Wayne a line of crap!!

[joe]

Did he just say it would never be an obligation on our part? Was that supposed to be sympathetic? Ha! Did that sound funny to anyone else?

[shane]

Why is it that whenever there's a clandestine meeting, someone's got to go, "Hey, I know this creepy abandoned building that'd be just SWELL!"

If I had to go to a clandestine meeting, I'd be like, "Hey, I know this Gap store in the mall. Meet me by the hoodies."

[Sarah]

The replacements obviously weren't informed that there ARE chairs at the desks.

[Gretchen]

HATE the new blonde chick!

[Edgar Greenberg]

Are the gators actually ntied with UCLA or only on 24. In real life, it would be quite freaky.

[shane]

YAY! The Vice President is evil! Ray Wise plays the BEST evil madmen!

[mama jodeo]

Is everyone so gullible that believe Audrey would sell out CTU??

[Edgar Greenberg]

QUESTION MARKS ARE FOR SISSIES.

[Betsy]

I hate everybody, and I hate the fact that they work in a pitch black basement with metal stairs, and that the lighting is so messed up that all I can see is the whites of the ex-president's brother's eyes. So there!

[Edgar Greenberg]

QUESTION MARKS ARE FOR SISSIES.

[Glow]

Buchanan, betrayed for the umpteenth time. The guy's got some bad luck.

[Suzy Q]

Yay, Chloe is re-instated! Move OVER, blondie!!!

[bizrey]

Good thing Brother Palmer knows how to patch in a call.

[Glow]

It's the magic cellphone patch-call!

[Gretchen]

Serves him right for stealing Michelle from Tony. Neener, neener, neener.

[Edgar Greenberg]

What. How did it post twice. I only posted once. And notice, question marks are still for sissies.

[shane]

No, Dave, it doesn't. Days of our Lives has better acting. ;)

[Sarah]

This girl makes it sound like her mom is coming to pick her up from soccer practice.

[bizrey]

Well CTU just tortured Audrey, maybe they think she's getting payback.

[daisymae]

Chloe & Audrey...strange bedfellows indeed! And obviously Chloe thinks so too.

[Glow]

It's Super Action Girl time again! Yeeha!

[thebruce]

she touched Chloe! That was wrong...

[homeybeef]

time for some awkward chloe on audrey action?

[spikesmydog]

Runsfield's daughter (Miss Audrey is such a scheemer....but as long as chloe's involved....

[Suzy Q]

Did Audrey wash her hair after the interrogation? It looks much better now.

[Gretchen]

CHLOE doesn't understand?!?!? That does not compute....feeling confused...weak...passing out...

[daisymae]

Whatever happened to the First Ramparts? They are talking about her, but we have yet to see her.

[Jomo]

Chloe is going to save the day AGAIN!

[Suzy Q]

daisymae: Have some more wine. She was there, albeit briefly, unlike her ramparts.

[Jomo]

Chloe is going to save the day AGAIN!

[Glow]

Hey, maybe Jack Bauer uses Verizon network!?

[JT]

So this can only mean one thing...Chloe will be revealed in the last episode as the terrorist/traitor you never suspected...

[Betsy]

We saw her for a minute, saying good-night to Evelyn and asking her if she had her ID. I still don't understand that part.

[O. the U(manity)]

packsaddle -

Congratulations, muchly!

Matthew ... of course I'm prejudiced ... that's my son's name ...

[Gretchen]

Can you hear me now?

[David W]

Just remember after tonight- there are 8 more hours; so much more is going to happen. Question:
How many times has Jack died or almost died in 5 years?

[Suzy Q]

homeybeef: see my comment up above....

[«LabSpecimen»]

OMG! I think maybe The Gators have shot UCLA in the THIGH! Jack! We need a Forward! Set up a perimeter!

[shane]

The more I think about it, the more I think the evil villain is actually Marwan's Ghost.

Speaking of last season, d'yer ever wonder what became of Terrorist Son? I say he's most certain to avenge his father's death circa season 8.

Of course, by then, all of CTU and/or the Dept. of Homeland Security will have been either (a) killed, or (b) heavily scarred in the thigh... leaving our new hero to be portrayed by either Rip Taylor or Charles Nelson Reilly, the only two people NOT to have been cast in 24 by that point.

[Kev]

Betsy--true. But these bureaucrats seem even worse than the ones in real life...maybe.

Bulldog--the whole presidential crew is at the "retreat" in California...

[homeybeef]

JT, I guessed that last week and I got yelled at.

[daisymae]

Dave, the only problem with you posting up there (aside from it's hard to see your posts), it doesn't give the time.

[Sarah]

Ah yes, the barn...

[FleaBailey]

Wait. I recognize that barn. That's the Stable of Soft Seduction, from Season One!

[Sean]

Oh no ! Jack thinks something is wrong !

[daisymae]

Evelyn ain't talkin'

[Glow]

And Jack always keeps his promises, right? he didn't say back ALIVE, did he?

[shane]

"Excuse me for one second... WHILE I SHOOT YOU IN THE THIGH!"

[Bob]

I've got $50 that says that Evelyn dies before she can give any info.

[Varjak]

Is the barn in LA National Forest?

[shane]

I wanna download some real-time images of Chloe, too.

[Glow]

Come on, Jack, you need a sidekick. Wayne can so shoot some thigh right now.

[Gretchen]

Marine Who Never Saw Combat = wussy

Dude - his brother JUST DIED!

[Bucket]

Is anyone else kinda bored?

[thebruce]

revenge - the answer to everything!

[SoAlone]

Yay President Bland is back!

[Betsy]

Wull boy howdy! It's the Pres-e-dent!!!

[JT]

Jack looked as if he was just thinking about the long-lost brother of his who will show up in Season 6 as a renegade agent...

[daisymae]

Now I'm confused...why did they leave the barn?

[Silhouette]

Good thing this place was only four minutes from the barn.

[Chris]

The more dire the situation, the lower Jack's voice gets.

[jmac]

this is what Chloe needs to do with the satellite

http://www.darkfriends.net/david/bg/ion_cannon.jpg

(forgot how to make a link, bear with me)

[shane]

"You're GOING to get her back. She may need a thigh transplant, but dammit, you're getting her BACK!"

[Fred]

You're going to get her back or my name's not Jack!