24

Things are looking good this week. Jack finally got rid of the Killer Kanisters by blowing up the gas works. Granted, the explosion probably killed everybody within a 50-block radius, but as the old saying goes, "you can't make an omelet without leveling a large sector of Los Angeles." The important thing is, the Kanister plot line, which was a total snore-a-palooza, is DEAD. Tragically, Audrey is not, but we can't have everything.

With the Kanisters gone, we can now get to the REAL plot, which probably has something to do with the Big Secret being carried around by deceased-ex-president Allstate's brother Wayne. Last week Wayne was being chased by bad guys through the vast Central Los Angeles Forest. Wayne was rescued by Agent Pierce in an exciting scene, which is described as follows in the official 24 web site episode guide (the entry for 9:46 p.m.):

Pierce and Wayne make their way past his flipped car. Suddenly, a missile wheezes past them. Wayne is knocked down. Pierce returns fire into the darkness at the gunmen. He puts Wayne into his car and they escape.

Yes! A wheezing missile! Probably the deadly AsthmaSonic 2000.

In other news:

Chloe has a new sidekick, Shari, who is competent, dedicated, and, in accordance with the Counter Terrorism Unit's strict hiring guidelines, insane.

Edgar is still dead.

We didn't see the President last week, but we're sure he's still a huevos-free zone.

So that's about it for the plot as we... No, wait! We almost forgot! Jack might be dead. At the end of last week, he disappeared in a ball of flame with the evil terrorist leader Bierko. They didn't show Jack in the previews for this week. Is he dead? Is the season over? We will just have to wait and see!

Also we have a minor conflict caused by the fact that the NCAA, which is apparently run by idiots who did not have the simple human decency to check the 24 schedule, decided to hold the national college-basketball championship game tonight. We here at the blog may have to cut away from 24 from time to time to monitor the game, because we have strong ties to the University of Miami, which means we have to root for the Florida Gators to fail. It’s not personal, Gators fans! It’s just that we hate you.

UPDATE: Audrey sure recovered quickly from extreme torture.

UPDATE: JACK! What a shock.

UPDATE: They do not make terrorists the way they used to, when they made Marwan.

UPDATE: Jack thinks this is bigger than anything they ever imagined! That's pretty big, for a show that had Edgar in it.

UPDATE: Who are these sneaky people?

UPDATE: Mrs. Logan's assistant! That bitch!

UPDATE: They took Evelyn's daughter? Does anybody have ANY idea what's going on? No? Me either. At least there's no canisters.

UPDATE: Evelyn's going to give them the evidence!

UPDATE: Chloe and Shari are so busy THEY CAN'T EVEN SIT DOWN WHEN THEY TYPE!

UPDATE: A unit-wide backslash protocol! Those bastards!

UPDATE: Who are these greasy quiet-talkers? What do they want with Audrey?

UPDATE: Did Wayne say he wants to meet Jack in an old barn? In Los Angeles?

UPDATE: They really want us to like Audrey. WHY??

UPDATE: Jack needs the satellite, dammit!

UPDATE: Audrey must be sleeping with the scriptwriters. All of them.

UPDATE: UCLA 2! Gators NADA.

UPDATE: UCLA 3, Gators 2.

UPDATE: UCLA 4, Gators 4.

UPDATE: The Gators have obviously bribed the refs.

UPDATE: The UCLA cheerleaders are a great deal more attractive than the Gators cheerleaders.

UPDATE: Chloe is gonna deck that woman.

UPDATE: This kind of reminds me of "Days of Our Lives."

UPDATE: They're patching Jack in...

UPDATE: There is nothing lower than kidnaping a child actor.

UPDATE: Chloe's re-tasking the satellite for a full infrared sweep. That is why we love her.

UPDATE: We have no update at this time from the UCLA game.

UPDATE: There's the old barn, such as you find all over the LA area.

UPDATE: Chloe can't BELIEVE the vice president is involved.

UPDATE: I want a PDA like Jack's.

UPDATE: President Handbag! I kind of missed his huevos-free self.

UPDATE: It's almost go time...

UPDATE: Chloe has a nice set of schematics.

UPDATE: The idiot NCAA can't even time the commercial breaks right!

UPDATE: OK, I am going to have to estimate here: UCLA 78, Gators 14.

UPDATE: One down.

UPDATE: Jack has the PDA of DEATH.

UPDATE: Wayne! You go!

UPDATE: Jack is showing a full range of lethality this evening.

UPDATE: Henderson is the Marwan of this season.

UPDATE: It's NOT the vice president! IT'S THE HANDBAG!

UPDATE: UCLA 173, Gators 6.

YOUR OFFICIAL FINAL SCORE: UCLA 687, Gators minus 14.

Comments

[Bob]

first

[ArcticAl]

second

[packsaddle]

not to change the subject or anything, but my wife just had a baby.

and judging by the expressions on her face during the delivery, i believe jack somehow shot her in the thigh during the c-section.

carry on.

[homeybeef]

Jack might be dead? You do watch this show, right dave? It takes more than a huge explosion at a gas plant to kill Jack Bauer

[Dave]

packsaddle: Congrats!

[ArcticAl]

Now that we've proved we can count, anybody got any ideas whether Audrey will get killed or just get disgusted with Jack and leave? The actress is in a new series on a different network next season apparently.

[ArcticAl]

Congrats packsaddle to you and your wife. I'm glad she had the discretion not to have the baby during 24, and avoiding forcing you to make a difficult choice.

[Bob]

Blah, blah, Prison Break, blah, blah--we want Jack!

[ArcticAl]

Its awfully quiet around here tonight. Is everyone really watching basketball?

[packsaddle]

7 lbs. 4 oz.

roughly the size of a wheezing missile.

[Suzy Q]

packsaddle: Congrats!!

Now for my 24 checklist:

WINE: CHECK

Caps off: check

Half meatball sub: eaten and check

Hands washed: check

Hands dried: um....no check. Kitchen towel missing. Suspect cats. Must shoot them in thighs.

DSL: check! for the first time from home in time for 24 blogging! check.

Ok, I'm ready. Bring it on!!!

[TigerFanInNC]

Get ready! I think NASCAR newbie Carl Edwards is going to do a back flip off of Chloe's desk, YEEHAW!

[Boom daisy's guy cat]

(curls up next to daisy to watch 24 & dream cat dreams)

[ArcticAl]

In the absence of a key player, I'll say...

Jack Bauer power hour!

[Dr. Alice]

I'm dying to find out what EXACTLY it is that Wayne has to say that's so important that he had to drag poor Aaron Pierce out there to rescue him. Though seeing Agent Pierce firing that tommy gun (or whatever the hell it was) at the bad guys certainly made it all worthwhile. I heart Aaron.

[homeybeef]

we have to witness Jack Bauer not being dead? these ads are strange

[TrillianAstra]

There's a web site that has a take off on the WWJD (what would Jesus do) bracelets -- they say WWJBD (what would Jack Bauer do). I volunteer to bring a case, one for all of you to the first annual Dave blog and 24 a holics meeting. Who's hosting?
Can't post during the show, I might miss something

[daisymae]

packsaddle: Congratulations!

(looks at Suzy's preparations to see if she missed anything)

HERE WE GO!!!!!

[Glow]

I'm worried. Is Jack dead?

[daisymae]

Whoa...the wheezing missle just flew by...

[daisymae]

(adds bowl of pasta to 24 prep)

[Suzy Q]

Where's tropichunt guy with the intro??

[mama jodeo]

Due to graphic violence (that we have been teasing you about for the last 10 weeks) viewer discretion is advised.

[Glow]

Hey, Dave, CHOMP CHOMP from Da Swamp!

[daisymae]

Jack must be alive...he's the one who said the following takes place yadda yadda ya

[daisymae]

Here comes our hero...

[Roger]

Dang.. I read the spoilers on Ain't It Cool News today ... So I shot myself in the thigh.

[bizrey]

Yeah! Bring-em-back-alive Bauer!

[Varjak]

The suspense was killing me. I'm glad we know now.

[Glow]

Oh listen to that music! Jack's OKAY! Boy, I feel so much better!

[fred]

ITs SUPER Jack!

[packsaddle]

if it's not too much to ask, could you please post your suggestions for baby boy names during the commercial breaks?

(excluding "jack")

thanks!

[FleaBailey]

Yay! CTU Medical! So he can die!

[wolfie]

I need him conscious? WTD? He's wayy more bendy when hes not conscious

[Momanon]

So, was that all of the canisters, or are there still some on the loose?

[TigerFanInNC]

Maybe Jack is going to shoot Carl in the thigh, steal his racecar and then put Jeff Gordon into the wall after learning that he and bushy-browed Jimmie Johnson are the real terrorists! I should NOT know that many racer names!

[daisymae]

Doesn't everybody who goes to CTU medical, like...die?

[Roger]

Bierko lives ... to be killed...

[Varjak]

Scared? SCARED?

[daisymae]

Jack's scared...!!!

[Gretchen]

What a shock! Jack survived. I don't know if my heart can take it.

[Fred]

Jack is scared? The world is ENDING!

[Roger]

Uh Oh ... here comes the hammer

[bizrey]

I told y'all the Veep was in on it!

[Reine le Guin]

packsaddle: Owen, Sam, or Mark.

[Glow]

So this is what a procedural mop-up sounds like.

[FleaBailey]

Oh good. Maybe Audrey will screw up yet.

[Roger]

Gonna turn Audrey to the dark side.

[bizrey]

Man that Miles guy is soooo slimey. He even whispers slimey.

[Bob]

packsaddle: Michael

[FleaBailey]

packsaddle: Marwan or Behroooooz.

Or Douglas Stuart.

[mama jodeo]

Do we finally have a PLOT!?!?!?

[Roger]

Scrub the scene .. hmmmmm

[Suzy Q]

10:04 and Jack Bauer is SCARED??? WTF??!

[ZP]

What? Jack is scared? Bierko is already dead? And Audrey has already recovered? Good-ness she's resistant to everything.

Anyway, for everyone's reading pleasure, a synopsis for last week is here. Cheers!

[Roger]

Evil secret service chick....

[Roger]

Queen of understatements .... "Its been a long day"

[Bucket]

Congratulations packsaddle!

[Sam G.]

Ha! I knew it had something to do with Evelyn!

[Sarah]

Anyone ever notice that Mrs. Logan has an un-canny resemblence to that person from Homeward Bound? Loved that movie...

[FleaBailey]

Aaron's band aid is back on.

[daisymae]

Aaron and wayne to the rescue? I'm confused.

[Wavey]

Wheeze, whiz, whatever. That pretty much describes my Uncle Henry's typical day.

[Varjak]

"They're not going to give your daughter back." Way to smooth-talk her!

[bizrey]

What is with the voice track tonight? It's all over the place.

[Glow]

Oh it's a kidnapped baby theme now. No more canisters.

[Gretchen]

Clearly, this is a job for Jack!!

[Mia, Betsy's middle cat]

Help!!! someone who understands what's going on!
Who has her daughter, and who are those people. Isn't one the dead president's brother???

P.S. Packsaddle: Zachary

[Varjak]

Maybe Evelyn's daughter is being stored in a canister?

[Renee]

Packsaddle, isn't it obvious? Dave, of course. It's not every baby who gets a welcome into the world from His Daveness just minutes after birth, you know. :-) Many congratulations!

[FleaBailey]

"I'll give you the evidence I have if you'll get me back my daughter." Or, in other words, I'll do what I would do anyway if you give me back my daughter. She's got a law degree, I'll wager.

[mnich]

the first lady is definitely from Garden State...I think she wrote 'balls' or something on Zach Braff's forehead?

[bizrey]

O_O All of a sudden I'm really thirsty for Gatorade

[Betsy]

(OK...so the cats watch too.)

[ZP]

Why does it appear that the show writers just traded "canisters" for "finding Evelyn's daughter"?

[Suzy Q]

Ruh Roh! semi-asian chick is in truuuuuble!!!!

[trillianastra]

Ditto congrats, packsaddle!! How about Ethan? Although why you might not pick Jack Bauer Packsaddle is beyond me. Maybe I'll have another child just to give em that name.

[Roger]

I volunteer to to spank the asian chick and the new Chloe minion to get info...

[Suzy Q]

packsaddle: Westell

No, I didn't make that up, it's the name on a small box sitting on my desk from an unknown source. Could be from my DSL setup, but who knows?

[Sam G.]

Oh, the Chloe fangirls/guys have arrived.

[Varjak]

A backslash protocol?

[daisymae]

It's a HLS coup!

[Sarah]

I think chloe has some territorial problems.

[Betsy]

...and I'm from cell block 99. You VILL cooperate.

[Glow]

Here comes the replacements. Absorbed! Absorbed!

[bizrey]

Look at all the DOHS!

[Gretchen]

They're turning CTU over to people who couldn't handle a hurricane. Wise. Very wise.

[MaryContrary]

A unified backslash protocol? I'm a federal bureaucrat and that doesn't even make sense to ME . . .

[JT]

Packsaddle:

How about Kief--

Never mind.

[Glow]

Jack's advice: Just shoot her in the thigh, Wayne.

[ZP]

All I know is, without Chloe's computer, Jack is in trouble. No perimeter monitoring, no data mining... It's bad.

[Bob]

Audrey is such a blonde. Doesn't she realize that going into a room alone with that guy is dangerous? mean, can she not hear the dramatic music?

[Betsy]

Oh right...like the Situation Room is private. Ha!

[Roger]

UH OH .. seperate is code for ... she's dead

[mama jodeo]

I hope Chloe left the back door so she can monitor things from a remote site.

[Silhouette]

We can meet at the barn! I've got some old costumes, and we can sing songs. It'll be the best show ever.

[Betsy]

Yeah...the old barn in Los Angeles....one of many left over from LA's recent agricultural past.

[Roger]

Looks like a car negotiation...

[Roger]

I see your "taint the DoD" and raise you one "My daddy's the Secy of Def".

[Sarah]

So nice to know audrey is proud.