I have been on bated tenterhooks of pins and needles all
week, because tonight is the night when AUDREY FINALLY GETS IT. At least I hope
she does. Last week the Evil Thong of Doom Sex Temptress Collette told Jack
that Audrey sold her some secret information to give to the terrorists running
Meanwhile, President Complete Handbag, acting under the
influence of Vice President Flagrant Villain, has placed
Edgar is still dead.
Also there is now a German agent in the plot. Yes! A German! Like it's 1945! I don't really know what the German is up to, but he's really ticked off at Jack because Jack gave him an exploding memory chip, and you just know the German is going to be on hold with Technical Support for HOURS before he straightens that out. ("You say the chip exploded? Do you have the serial number?")
So that's where we stand as of just before 9 Eastern Thigh-Shootin' Time. I don't know about you, but I'm exhausted, and nothing has happened yet.
UPDATE: You know, Jack is actually kind of short.
UPDATE: They're gonna torture Audrey! Be still my heart.
UPDATE: Jack wants to handle it heheheheh.
UPDATE: Proof? He wants PROOF? This is 24, you moron!
UPDATE: I like the way the main terrorist explains to the other terrorists, in English, what they're doing, for the benefit of us viewers at home.
UPDATE: Audrey's a SLUT! Chloe has the proof.
UPDATE: Chloe's a fun co-worker.
UPDATE: The WHAT Matrix Analyzer? I think Chloe just makes this crap up.
UPDATE: Just shoot her, Jack! Time's a-wastin'!
UPDATE: BUSTED! Shoot her!
UPDATE: We HAPPENED TO BE THERE???
UPDATE: Oh NO. Jack still has feelings. I can just feel it.
UPDATE: See? When he throttles her, they're like the same height.
Sherry Shari is, what, 13 years old? And already a Provisional Level 3?
UPDATE: OK, even for Jack, that was pointless.
UPDATE: Chloe is a standup gal.
UPDATE: Too much computering, not enough shooting.
UPDATE: Even the terrorists have a perimeter!
UPDATE: Oh man, these hardhat dudes are so dead.
UPDATE: What kind of substance, indeed.
UPDATE:Wayne, deep in the forest of LA.
UPDATE: The torture guy is gonna MAKE Audrey purchase the extended service warranty.
UPDATE: Jack spits on your "immunity agreement."
UPDATE: Natural gas! Those BASTARDS.
UPDATE: Jack and his freaking feelings for Audrey. You know?
UPDATE: Oh, puke.
UPDATE: Soft romantic string music! On 24! Where'd I put my cyanide?
UPDATE: This is basically an advertisement for the all-electric home.
UPDATE: OK, the 13-year-old is as weird as Chloe.
UPDATE: Good old Aaron.
UPDATE: Chloe knows everything.
UPDATE: "The noise from the plant should cover our descent." Thanks, Mister Scriptwriter!
UPDATE: Heat signatures AND approach vectors!
UPDATE: It is GO TIME.
UPDATE: Jack always has some C-4.
UPDATE: Think Jack'll make it?
UPDATE: They didn't show Jack in the previews! Maybe he's dead! Har.