24

Here is where I believe the situation stands: Following last week's gas attack on CTU HQ, the Hobbit is dead. So is Tony, who is not to be confused with Tony Soprano, who is in a coma after getting shot by Uncle Junior. In addition, many nameless CTU staff extras are dead. Edgar also remains, tragically, dead. Audrey is still alive, prompting us to wonder where Uncle Junior is when we need him. Jack Bauer is also still alive and now holds the world indoor breath-holding record. The terrorists still have something like 18 Killer Kanisters, and evidently they will stop at nothing in their cruel and inhuman quest to make this particular plot thread last for the rest of this season. The president of the United States contunues to be a big girl's blouse and a complete handbag. Speaking of which, this item is still only $10.

Having missed the last two weeks, I'm depending on you keen observers out there to explain what is happening tonight. Since I have no idea what's going on, rather than put my clueless updates here in the main section, I'll put my comments down in the comments section, where they will mingle freely with yours. So I hope everybody is wearing protection.

Comments

[shane]

Alright, we've killed off 54 secondary characters in the last 60 minutes. Time to introduce 54 more.

"I know," say the writers, "Let's make one of 'em a German. Germans are sexy."

[O. the U(manity)]

Who's Colette? I wuz watchin' ... um ... nevermind ...

[daisymae]

Jason: That would be NO.

[Salamander]

ever think that Jack just needs an "easy button?"

[daisymae]

Of course the watchamacalit was in her garter...oh, sexy colette.

[wolfie]

Terrorist dude is enjoying that frisking a little too much methinks.

[Betsy]

Whoa! Friskin' mighty close to those canisters, fella!

[Cheesewiz]

nice holster

[Stevo]

How did so many absolute nutcase weenies get in charge of our government agencies? On the show that is.

[Bucket]

Sorry ma'am, it's my JOB.

[tropichunt.com guy™]

So, Dave, how's it feel to sink to our level? ;)

Some 'curfew' and 'Martial Law' example...anyone with a flashy car can get through...

[LucyVanPelt]

Methinks there might be some thigh shootin'

[daisymae]

Oh...a moment alone with Jack. Yooouuul be sooorrrry!

[shane]

Good to see they're sticking with the reality that all foreign spies are hottie females with low-cut dresses and sporty red cars.

History has shown us that all spies are super-hotties. I mean, look at Ethel Rosenberg. She was sure a looker.

[Glow]

Oh oh, a moment, said Jack. OH OH! Thigh time!!!!

[Dave]

Is it... thigh-shootin' time?

[MoFaux]

curtis, is that a UPS uniform?

[Jason]

That's right curtis... It's all gonna be all right....

[Stevo]

I'd protect my thigh if I was you german guy!

[Betsy]

A moment alone with him??? Noooooooooooooooo

[Momanon]

HOT! I think I'm about to call 1-800-COLLETTE right now!

[Wes S.]

"A moment alone?" Could it be thigh-shooting time again?

[wolfie]

She's talking to German intelligence. She just dialed 1-800-spy-info.

[Salamander]

is there a german counterpart to 24?

[Cheesewiz]

if this guy is German then Dave is the queen of Norway

[Bucket]

But Chloe can get it!!! hee hee hee....

[Alfred]

Will David Hasslehof make an appearence?

[ShutUpChloe]

{(HEY, was that Desmond from "Lost" in the preview?!? Saying that she was too valuable to give up?!?)}

German guy is indeed Desmond from "Lost" (where he was Scottish but still scruffy).

[homeybeef]

Jack just kind of has that list in his pocket.

[daisymae]

Uh oh he told Jack not to mess with him.

[Dave]

The Wet List!

[Glow]

Jack's talking about backdoors, baby!

[wolfie]

Many many guys would pay for a look at the Wet List.

[LucyVanPelt]

I think Chloe is going to do some thigh shootin'

[Adonis]

I AM A HE ANDY! Now just admit the italics were you. That's it where did Alfred leave the cow?

[Ryan]

Standard line from Chloe: "I can't do it! ...okay, fine."

[daisymae]

Don't you love the way Chloe says "fine" to whatever impossible thing Jack asks her to do. That's right, SPILL IT ALL OVER HIM...just GET the keycard!

[Peg Leg Pete, CPA]

Cool music! Jaws on steroids!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Dave: I think the random plot generator said 'Germans with bad accents'

[Dave]

We love Chloe.

[Salamander]

close, Lucy

[Alfred]

Yes there is a German 24. Its in metric though.

[Cheesewiz]

wet pants for the wet list

[LucyVanPelt]

Ohhhh, thigh burning!

[Glow]

Boy, it's so easy to get these CTU keycards! Knock a hobbit out, drop coffee on the guy's nice shirt....

[Lane-o]

I love Chloe and her eyes of death!! Go Chloe!!

[daisymae]

She GOT IT...that's Jack's girl!

[Betsy]

Please tell my New Guy wasn't wiping the last of Edgar off his chair.

[Cheesewiz]

that Homeland guy needs some nerve gas

[Dave]

I'll BET her bank is ready to accept the transfer.

[baligurl]

If Chloe doesn't SMACK the homeland sec guy, I'm gonna smack her. And how did a grocery chain get this much power?

[Glow]

I need a Chinese accent soon or I'm going to write the writers a letter of KOMPRAIN!

[bizrey]

Ha Ha, that guy was looking at her USB drive like he was wondering where it's been

[baligurl]

If Chloe doesn't SMACK the homeland sec guy, I'm gonna smack her. And how did a grocery chain get this much power?

[judi]

whoops! 'scuse me, dave? turns out i don't watch 24 either.

what's happening? is that the terrorist prostitute?

[Betsy]

Oh...only coffee. Nevermind.

[daisymae]

Charlie/Alpha/3/9/Alpha

[MoFaux]

Try replacing the ignition module or the coil.

[Alfred]

I think Chloe is German.

[Salamander]

why don't they just get Google Earth? much more convenient.

[Dave]

OK, I vote for less talking and computers, and more pointless violence.

[wolfie]

Hard to recognize her both dressed and upright isn't it judi?

[Wes S.]

Collette, Jack and the German are all going to the airport...Weren't Kim and the boyfriend supposed to be catching a flight out of town too?

[baligurl]

It wasn't my fault there was a double post. It was...the Homeland Sec guys!

[daisymae]

I vote with Dave! This is movin' to slow for me. And now.....Heeeeere's Kermit!

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Darnit...not "stabbed thigh for the German guy"...

[Glow]

Ummm...isn't there supposed to be a curfew or martial law or something?

[Stevo]

Thank you Bruce Willis for bringing some shooting back on this show, if only onthe comercials.

[Salamander]

screw the Energizer bunny, they should have Jack doin the commercials

[shane]

So the big reveal on "Lost" is that they're all stranded on an island full of GERMAN SECRET AGENTS?!?! Intriguing...

On a side note, lookit how fast Chloe sent that file to Jack's PDA. With those kinda speeds, you KNOW the IT guys at CTU must have, like, 15 servers hanging out in back just chock full o' porn.

[Aubrey]

For five seasons now, Jack has yet to go to stop for a bite to eat or visit the restroom.

[Betsy]

Yeah...there's been a real shortage of stabbing and shooting. But I do love watching The Team make an entrance with all their guns drawn, pointing in random directions, and swiveling their heads around as they travel crabwise in a clot down shadowy hallways.

[Bucket]

The whole season has been like this. And I only started watching b/cuz of you all!!!

[judi]

federalize them!

[Jerry]

Someone better get shot tonight! This is booooooringgggg

[daisymae]

The VP is coopting the Guv's authority.

[Alfred]

Adonis- I have some new weapons. An atomic chicken.

[O. the U(manity)]

"Until next time ..." ???

I got her "next time" right ... um ... nevermind ...

[ShutUpChloe]

Weren't Kim and the boyfriend supposed to be catching a flight out of town too?

Noooooooo....I thought we were clear of her! I guess it doesn't make sense they would have brought Ponyboy on as the shrink and only give him like 5 lines so maybe they will show up again. Ugh. Perhaps there are maruading cougars at the airport? (she said hopefully). Or a psychotic Kevin Dillon?

[bizrey]

WTH?!! The VP is not in the chain-of-command!! *grumble*

[Bucket]

Ruh roh, things don't look good for this guy.... WHo is he anyway???

[Aubrey]

Brother Palmer is back....wonder what that is all about?

[Salamander]

wait, so they can stop the ex-prez's brother, but not terrorists?

[tropichunt.com guy™]

Adonis: I'm sorry, I didn't mean to offend you and your husband or boyfriend...

[Cheesewiz]

Brokeback anti-terrorists

[Dave]

OK, I am still trying to get my mind around the fact that, since this episode started, they apparently managed to shut down ALL THE ROADS IN LOS ANGELES.

[Adonis]

Alfred- If I could please use your atomic chicken on Tropichuntguy(andy) I would appreciate it. He set off italics and then blamed it on me.

[judi]

go chloe!

[Jerry]

chloe in trouble

[jim]

great perimeter...

[Aubrey]

Chloe is busted....

[MoFaux]

Chloe Always has the expression of a pissy thirteen year old girl who isnt getting her way.....

[bizrey]

Tell them it was the NSA lunch menu Chloe!!

[baligurl]

Look, y'all, Jack doesn't poop. Why else would he be so testy?!

[Betsy]

Years of work could be rendered useless!!! we might ruin our impeccable track record of efficient operations!!!!

[Bucket]

Jack Bauer is not CTU, doesn't she know?

[O. the U(manity)]

What list? She sent Jack the What List?

[Brad]

don't they know jack doesn't work for them

[MoFaux]

arent all the roads in L.A. normally shut down?

[LucyVanPelt]

Chloe is about to be in the Unemployment Line of Doom.