WMD UPDATE

The good news is, the Pentagon has developed a pain-ray-sonic-blaster-laser dazzler (via Gizmodo). The bad news is, it's only only a matter of time before the terrorists develop the capacity to retaliate by combining this with this.

Comments

[Betsy]

"non-deployable Spiral 0 prototype" [Sheriff] is "undergoing environmental testing,"

...because God forbid it should cause any damage!

[sthnbelle]

Very sneaky way to get a BM pic through!

[Betsy]

...but FIRST, we should ascertain that the combination you suggest isn't what they used in their prototype.

[Mika]

I don't like it...

[Christobol]

"Sir, it appears they have the Manilowzer 2000."
"Good Gravy, soldier! That thing HAS NO STUN SETTING!"
"Permission to wet pants, sir?"
"Granted."

[Texas]

Forget the pain-ray. The other combination would be just as effective and twice as annoying.

[Christobol]

*at the Hague*

"Isn't it true, General Mealturd, that, upon approaching the unruly crowd, your very first action was to deploy 'Mandy' at 4.9 trillion megahurtz."

"My finger slipped. I meant to hit "Lola" at 2.6 megairritates."

"I move that we take two pillows off his comfy chair."

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

"...So now I will bring some lethal force to bear if it satisfies my [rules of engagement]."

I wanna know what he REALLY said!

[CoastRaven]

either telling the crowd to move or giving off a noise that would “bother their hearing.”

Bad
Ass
Really
Really
Yucky
Mobile
Audio
Noise
Inflicting
Loud
Output
Woofer

They CANT unleash this on Humanity!!

[CoastRaven]

Aww - C-bol kinda beat me to it

[Texas]

Why did it have to be Barry M. ?

[Brainy Jello]

I totally fell for it. I even checked the url before clicking. Drat!

C-bol: The comfy chair?!

[«LabSpecimen»]

No! Not... the COMFY CHAIR!!!!

[DouglasG]

Biggles! Fetch the soft cushions!

[mr mcgoo]

***Now what is it with this SNORKEL thing here anyway? Is this a code word for something?

This in the comment by Mr. Raymond Kenneth Petry 02022006 at 15:54:

Imagine transmitting the "self-spoken-thought" codes: The "think-snorkel".

[Schadeboy]

So, the army has themselves a PRSBLD gun, eh? 'bout time, too! I bought one from Best Buy last year. I like annoying my neighbor's pets. The pain ray is really fun on their cat, and their dog does funny dances when you turn on the noise maker. I won't say what the laser dazzler does to his wife, though.

[wordsure]

The elephant in the blog room, the question everyone seems to be avoiding: Does Jack know about this?!?!?!?

[Cheesewiz]

Oh what the dukes of Hazard could have done with this baby.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

But I don't see a cup holder for beer. Back to the drawing board!

[southerngirl]

Lisa, my bro-in-law gave my sis a glider/swing for Christmas, and it had beer can holders on both ends. Is he the coolest, or what?

*snorks* to C-bol and CoastRaven, too!

[OkieDokie]

I don't know what the big deal is - I have one of these in the backyard.

[Tkdlady]

Doesn't this come with the Wayne Newton upgrade?

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

southerngirl-Very cool. He's a man after my husband's heart!

[Clark Kent]

Forget Barry Manilow! If you really want to cause permanent harm, blast em with a little Yoko Ono and the Plastic Ono band.

Someone ended up with one of her albums and it became the ultimate re-gift, being passed from hand to hand through four years of college and beyond. It was worse than a hot potato...

And I actually tried to listen to it once and only made it through one song before I needed permanent therapy.

[TCK]

Clark - that explains a lot of things

[Christobol]

I would never try to start anything, but southerngirl, I'm pretty sure Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa just called your husband gay.

Not that and all that.

[rundogrun]

How long before this replaces the Hummer in my neighbor's driveway?

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

And I would never try to further instigate anything ever, but, Southerngirl, have you ever noticed...there are never any fish?

[Addicted to 24]

You will have to excuse as I go change my drawers because the weapon that Dave proposes just scared the $H!T out of me.

[Katie]

I love the "All in One" at the top. That's just funny to me for some reason. Cause God knows we can't have all three seperate! whaddya crazy?

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Christobol-It was her brother-in-law. And not to de-sensationalize anything, it was just an innocent metaphor.

[TCK]

I got a hummer in the neighbor's driveway once

[Bucket]

"Does Jack know about this?!?!?!"

Jack B uses this on himself daily for endurance training.....

[Betsy]

Coast...nice use of military-type shorthand. But has Congress authorized its production? And, for that matter, who authorized its parents for reproduction??

[Christobol]

Not to fan the flames, but southerngirl, apparently Lisa Bisa thinks you're messing around with your gay brother in law, and trying to play it off as an innocent metaphor.

[Noob]

TCK and Clark, it could be a Yoko, Barry, K-Fed trio. That would be a WMD.

[tck's neighbor]

I got a hummer in the neighbor's driveway once

Posted by: TCK | 05:40 PM on February 1, 2006

You Promised You'd Never Tell!!!!

[southerngirl]

#1 ~ Lisa, my bro-in-law definitely ain't gay.... (NTTAWWT..)but I luv him, and he is the greatest!

#2 ~ C-bol, you may pretend to be an instigator... but I scoff, I tell you..I scoff! (Oh, and innocent metaphors are the best, arent't they?) *wink, wink*

#3 ~ "And I would never try to further instigate anything ever, but, Southerngirl, have you ever noticed...there are never any fish?"

Tamara, sweetie, I thought that particular incident was our little secret?

[TCK]

southerngirl - i gotcher fish right here - bring Tamara along too - we'll have ourselves a little "tea party"

[PirateBoy]

I can just see the CNN story now:

This is Wolf Blitzer, crack CNN commentator and serious reporter, coming to you live from BFE. I'm trying to make sense of a very loud noise that is coming from this unusual military vehicle, being driven directly towards me by some cammo-dude at about 65 mph, and MAYBE I'D BETTER MOVE OUT OF THE..

*CRASH*

<*THUD*>

Cammo-Dude: Can you hear me now?

[Perky News Guy]

And tonight, on te Perky News Channel, Wolf Blitzer's regularly scheduled program will not be seen due to unforseen tecnical dificulties, but we will gladly spend the next hour showing you the results of our latest BOTOX treatment! Over to you, Kimmy!

[Michael DePaula]

Long live Manilow!

If that was the terrorists' method of recruitment I might not be able to resist!

Must...stop...listening...to...Manilow....

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

I heard this was first developed in order to clear anti-war protestors from in front of the Presidential motorcade.

Soon it will available to the public on non-military Humvees. The Humvee advertising campaign will highlight such conveniences as: clearing a space on the sand at a crowded day at the beach; goosing bicyclists who refuse to ride in the bike path; and (when set on high) vaporizing cars that occupy prime parking spaces at the Cineplex.

Unfortunately release to the public has been put on hold because Mayor Starfish McQueen of Daytona Bch, Fla is concerned that it will fall into the hands of rich-kid spring breakers, who will use it to disperse policemen attempting to stop them from diving into the pool from the third-story balcony.

McQueen need not worry, however, since a market-test of rich-kid spring breakers has revealed that they are not the least bit interested until the cup-holder problem is resolved.