WHY THIS IS THE GREATEST DARNED NATION ON THE WHOLE DARNED EARTH

Technology.

(Via Gizmodo)

Comments

[CoastRaven]

"Clever Gear" should be called CLEAVEr Gear! I smell a lawsuit and a split lip.

[CoastRaven]

Oh yeah - and *snork* at insom

[Eleanor]

This is a dumb idea - and expensive, so no doubt millions will be sold.

[Texas]

Like anyone is going to use utensils when eating pizza. I barely use my hands.

[crossgirl]

i'm with texas, this is just ALL wrong! be suspicious of folk who don't like dogs and eat pizza with a fork.

[mudstuffin]

Yes. I agree. If they could make pizza that you could eat with a straw, then you would have something.

Probably a garlicky puddle.

[cyaneyed (fka cyan)]

I can foresee a blood fest when the fork gets moist with pizza sauce and your fingers slip down to the end of the fork and you slice your finger open with the aptly named slicer.

[Cheesewiz]

If pizza has to be eaten with a fork, it is inedible.

[Mad Soapboxer]

Fork? FORK!? We don't need no steenkin' fork!!

[Christobol]

When you get very old, they put you in a home and when it's "Pizza Night" it's still soup.

I suppose you can use a straw, if it makes you feel any better.

[Blue Meanie]

Stick a fork (the real thing) in this gadget. It's done.

[JustLinda]

Only a MAN would be impressed by that.

A woman would say "It's won't stack up flat in the silverware drawer and I don't have any more room in the drawer for other misc. utensils."

Am I right, ladies??

[Emily Litella]

Key Observations about this website.
Quote: "Your guests will love it."
Really? Then why is the only shipping option in the dropdown list Ship To: Me
If the inventor already has a large inventory, why does he need them shipped to him? Why should consumers pay to ship an item they purchased to the seller? If people would just WAKE UP ...

[Emily]

oh
.
.
.
.
nevermind

[HooBert]

How do you avoid cutting your hand on the blade while you're using the fork? I'm with y'all- this is a ridiculous and pretty useless invention.
That said, though, my roommate would love it. She always, always eats pizza with a fork and a knife.

[queensbee]

yeah. lotsa er visits to stitch up torn up tongues. that is an idiotic invention.
pizza fork survivors, wbagnfarb.

[Christobol]

"That's right, bastardo! I said you're in my seat, and your mama humps goats on credit!"

"Easy Ricardo, he's got one of those forks with a pizza slicer attachment!"

"Ha ha. I was just kidding sir. That's not my seat, and I'm sure the goats end up paying. Have a nice night."

[KCSteve]

"Try it with other foods, like pancakes, tostadas and French toast."

< >

I can't actually think of anything sane to say in response to that. Not that that should matter around here, but I thought I'd mention it.

[kibby F5™]

Now, if they installed a miniture chain saw instead of that whimpy wheel....

[Betsy]

KC...yeah...I was trying to visualize a "Pizza Fork Meets The Tostada" Smack-Down, and it seemed pretty unimpressive.
However, if this idea takes off, I'm going to my secret laboratory and start working on a Pizza-Fork Cleaner, which would protect your delicate fingers while scraping cheese from the little fender area over the wheel. ($29.95.)

[kibby F5™]

Betsy, chainmail gloves.

[daisymae]

What everybody said!

(visualing cut fingers AND won't fit in a drawer)

[«LabSpecimen»]

Personally, I find that just a plain old fork cuts through pizza rather well.

And I hate dogs.

[Betsy]

This is so efficient: we now have an implement which necessitates an extra deep utensil drawer, chainmail gloves, and the investment of $15.
There is only ONE way to eat pizza, and that is "to scarf". End of story.

[Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa]

Plans are to market this to one-armed paperhangers and time-management specialists who abhor the wasteful seconds spent picking up a knife.

[Bumble]

I think that's nifty. I guess that makes me a woman with male tendencies. And that sounds wrong somehow.

El, JustLinda, do I need a feminine intervention of some sort? :-(

[Mad Soapboxer]

Betsy, I'm with you! If you don't need to be hosed down when you're done scarfing, you ain't done it right.

[Addicted to 24]

Husband - Honey this pizza sauce you made is delicous.

Wife - Uh Dear

Husband - Seriously it takes me back to my childhood in New York eating at Lombardi's

Wife - Honey

Husband - I cant get enough of this sauce it is great.

Wife - Dear I really thank you and all but the sauce is bobali and you cut your finger off and I am calling 911 right now.

[Mr. Completely]

JustLinda - Speaking for my wife, I can attest absolutely that you're (not your) right (not write) about this utensil being completely inconvenient.

About the only usefulness I can see for this item is if the user has only one hand. And even then, it is perfectly acceptable to eat pizza face-first, as if bobbing for apples.

[Tamara Rhymes With Camera]

"Ha ha. I was just kidding sir. That's not my seat, and I'm sure the goats end up paying. Have a nice night."

HA!!

[ScottMGS]

Helpline operator: "Clever Gear helpline. How can I be of Assistance?"

Caller: "Uh, this pizza fork thingy just isn't working out for me. Am I doing something wrong?"

H: "Let's see..." *riffles through call script* "So, first, you retrieve a slice of pizza from the pizza platter..."

C: "Yeah."

H: "...and put in on your plate, right?"

C: "Uh, yes."

H: "Paper or ceramic?"

C: "Huh?"

H: "The plate - is is paper or ceramic?"

C: "Suhramick? What's that?"

H: "Is it hard or soft?"

C: "Hard or soft? The pizza? It's deep dish."

H: "No, the plate. The plate has to be hard or the pizza fork won't work properly."

C: "Huh?"

H: *abandoning script* "Why don't you tell me what the problem is?"

C: "Um... The, uh, fork point thingies, like, keep getting caught in the cheese when I'm trying to cut the pizza, you know?"

H: "Okay. Did you try pushing the handle a little lower to lift the fork tines higher?"

C: "Times? What?"

H: "Tines. The 'fork point thingies'."

C: "Oh, uh, yeah but then I burnt my knuckes when they dragged through the hot sauce and melted cheese."

H: "We do have an upgrade for a two-inch cutter wheel that should work for deep dish pizza."

[kibby F5™]

it is perfectly acceptable to eat pizza face-first,

SNORK!

[Mr. Completely]

♫♪♫I made KibbyF5 snork! I made KibbyF5 snork!!♫♪♫

[Betsy]

Scott---You've captured it eggzackly! *snork*!

[Bill L.]

If I remember rightly (always a dicey proposition, to be sure), this looks very much like something MAD magazine proposed many years ago.

Perhaps 47-Man Squamish will be the next great sport.

[Blogchik]

Now I'm hungry for pizza!

[Jill C.]

My children actually received these forks as a gift from grandma and they were excited to use them....Once.

[AlanBoss]

A fork with a rolling blade on it?

This will all end in tears. I just know it.

[Ale]

Well ever heard of a KNORK?? This whole pizza fork/slicer thingy is just plain dumb! The knork was invented a few years ago. It is a specially designed fork with the ability to cut anything like a knife. For those out there who really need a fork to eat with a pizza then I'd suggest that, but really who traditionally eats pizza with a fork???

[Travis]

Knork thats what there called not snork the Knork is safe. The edges are rounded and beveled, which are not sharp or serrated so they will not harm you The Knork is a simple, single utensil that functions as a knife and fork together as one. Its innovative shape has a balanced handle that provides stability and comfort. This design enables you to more easily cut food by using a rocking motion on the gently curved outside tines