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February 21, 2006

TECHNOLOGY PLUNGES AHEAD

With this item, if you hear a song you really dislike, you don't have to leave the room to throw up!

(Via Gizmodo, via Techeblog)

Comments

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first!! after a long absence of such.

there's even a small Karcher at 180bar ???

I've never seen any child with such frank adoration of a toilet... It's almost touching. (the adoration, not the toilet and child.)

Question: Will flushing drown out the music?

Is there a story behind that oh-so-shmaltzy song?

Karcher ... note the link that Karcher cleans Mount Rushmore.
Thus we quote the well-known slogan: "If it's good enough for George Washington's nose, it's good enough for your more intimate parts."

One of the many fine songs available at that site!

Great - they can put one of those on stage for Karaoke night. That way people can really vomit while they are "singing" along!

Fears the Karcher!!!!! I think I may be a bit sensitive for that kind of cleaning power. I think the Brawny­® Guy neads that more than I do.

Just wondering if a 6'3 250 pound guy could fit on that thing. If so, and its comfortable, I really want one.
Once again

And now your back
from outer space

This is just a thinly disguised effort to get your bias accepted by the mainstream, Dave.

I maintain that "leaving the room to throw up" is not "an established principle of basic human etiquette."

I did say I was sorry about the shoes.

I know we do things different in the states, but... was that woman wearing her pants while sitting on the commode?

What's the selling point, it combines the pleasure of music with the joy of pooping your pants?

♬ I write the songs that make the whole world *KARCHER*

I know we do things different in the states, but... was that woman wearing her pants while sitting on the commode?

What's the selling point, it combines the pleasure of music with the joy of pooping your pants?

... is it low-flow?

Listen to music while crapping your pants? Sign me up!

-Abe Simpson

*choking on Cheez-Its thanks to Gpa Simpson*

That little girl isn't admiring the toilet - she's obviously looking with wonder and delight at something in the toilet. Must be Mr maki guso

I thought she was displaying proper "hurling" technique.

I think the girl actually is using the toilet as Dave has described...

One thing I hate about being late to the comments on this blog is that everyone always takes the good jokes. So I'm going to say them, anyway, just so I can feel that my time wasn't wasted.

First up: That little girl look like she's well poised to react to a bad song. Must be a projectile vomiter.

Second: What the hell is a Karcher and what is it going to do to my "more intimate parts" at 180bar?

Third: What the hell is a "bar" as used in this sentence?

Okay, so now I know what a Karcher is. Basically a shower massage for...down there. Now I'm thinking there will be a lot of guys (and maybe some gals) staying longer on the toilet. As if reading material wasn't enough of an excuse already.

Okay, the gloves are off. Love ya'all but all this spoofing and barfing over one of the greatest songwriters ever -- Jacques Brel who, although is no-longer alive and well in Paris, is turning over in his grave today. His songs were poetry about human feelings -- and not written for anybody's "hit" parade or as something you'd like to hummmmmmmm.

Just like one round of golf equals 9 or sometimes 18 holes, one bar equals nine or sometimes 18 decibels in Japan. They like their music LOUD.

Have you ever heard the song "Turning Japanese" by Oingo Boingo? It would be perfect for this.

Since I didn't read all that carefully (hardly at all) (actually I just looked at the picture), but from Schadeboy's description of Karcher, I think that's what they call a bidet in France.

AND - along with all the other awful songs, am I the only person who remembers Indiana Wants Me, But I Can't Go Back There? Where are those lyrics, I ask, in a petulant manner????

Nooooo! Seasons in the sun earworm! Argghhhhh!!!

on the occasion of buying a hi-tech toilet

goodbye to you my rusty friend
I've perched atop you since I first moved in
Through hemorrhoids and stomach flu
There was salmonella too
And lots of chunks that I blew

goodbye my friend, I will upgrade
To a turlet that is Japan-made
It will play tunes from all the charts
And scour off my nether parts

I ate soy, and sticky buns
Through #2's and #1's
But with my output you'd strain
And you failed to entertain!

Herb. That may be so, about the greatness of M. Brel. But I ask you: Have you actually heard Terry Jacks sing: "Goodbye Papa it's hard to die, when all the birds are singing in the sky"?

Herb - according to the lyrics posted the songwriter was Terry Jacks, unless he stole Jacques' lyrics and didn't credit him. But the song sucked. It may be why Jacques is no longer in Paris. Maybe it was better in French?

Karcher is usually known for manufacturing pressure washers.

Eleanor - I remember it. The lyrics are in the same toilet.

This is so Japanese. Japanese women are all obsessed with 'bathroom sounds' because of the traditional thin walls in their houses (originally, made of paper which must have amplified every toot).

Insom- Excellent! You saved me from the earworm.

loud applause insomniac.... and great. now i cant get effin' afternoon delight outta my head.

more (don't read if you're squeamish)

Kärcher, in cooperation with the National Park Service, recently had the honor of cleaning the presidents' heads on Mount Rushmore in South Dakota. The restorative cleaning work was carried out as part of a culture sponsoring project. The aim of the project was to remove lichen, algae, moss and other organic stains that could damage the underlying rock by way of bio-corrosion.

The cleaning was performed purely with water, without any chemical additives. Five diesel-powered Kärcher hot water pressure washers cleaned the granite surfaces with rotary nozzles using Kärcher's patented DirtBlaster technology, which increases the effective cleaning pressure by up to 50%. The use of hot water will delay any recurrence of growth on the rock sculptures.

dang

"If it's good enough for Presidential heads, it's good enough for your nether parts."

Hey! This is a DB COMPLETE GUIDE TO GUYS classic.

Next thing ya know we'll have Toyotas that produce ice cubes and Amana freezers at cruising altitude!

Dave, In Japanese the title of your book must translate to "Complete Guide to Inventors"

Page 98

The inquisitive look on the girl's face reminds me of a story a friend of mine told. She is friendly with a family who have older children and a 4 year old son. It seems the young son had picked up some unsavory language from his older siblings, and the parents had spoken to him to try and curb the cussing. One morning the father was walking past the bathroom and the 4 year old was standing peering into the toilet saying, "What the f*ck is that?!? What the f*ck IS that? I don't know WHAT the f*ck that is!!!!!"

Herb...merci for taking the lead in defense of Jacques Brel. I think one of the problems is that Jacques played off the combination of simple tunes -- childlike little street songs -- and world-weary lyrics. It works in French, and some of them are brilliant. However, I must concede that I never knew S in the S was Brel until I was rehearsing one of his other songs and my voice teacher turned the page in the Big Book o' Brel. I shrieked, and said, "Brel didn't write THAT, did he!!!?????" After she recovered her hearing, she said, "Yep...he did. And somewhere he's raining down lightening on that a**hole who recorded it for the pop market." (a**hole being Terry Jacks -- a Canadian (NTTAWWT)

I herewith echo the comment posted much earlier:

Okay, the gloves are off. Love ya'all but all this spoofing and barfing over one of the greatest songwriters ever -- Jacques Brel who, although is no-longer alive and well in Paris, is turning over in his grave today. His songs were poetry about human feelings -- and not written for anybody's "hit" parade or as something you'd like to hummmmmmmm.

Posted by: herb | 12:55 PM on February 21, 2006

Fortunately, I first heard the song by The Kingston Trio. I love that song and just about every other song Jacques Brel wrote. He may be gone, but he is not forgotten.

Dave -- Ahhhh - Come to think about it, I may have heard about 30 seconds of it once . . . hey bro, have you ever heard this?

IF WE ONLY HAVE LOVE

If we only have love
Then tomorrow will dawn
And the days of our years
Will rise on that morn
If we only have love
To embrace without fears
We will kiss with our eyes
We will sleep without tears
If we only have love
With our arms open wide
Then the young and the old
Will stand at our side
If we only have love
Love that's falling like rain
Then the parched desert earth
Will grow green again
If we only have love
For the hymn that we shout
For the song that we sing
Then we'll have a way out
If we only have love
We can reach those in pain
We can heal all our wounds
We can use our own names
If we only have love
We can melt all the guns
And then give the new world
To our daughters and sons
If we only have love
Then Jerusalem stands
And then death has no shadow
There are no foreign lands
If we only have love
We will never bow down
We'll be tall as the pines
Neither heroes nor clowns
If we only have love
Then we'll only be men
And we'll drink from the Grail
To be born once again
Then with nothing at all
But the little we are
We'll have conquered all time
All space, the sun, and the stars.

Herb...How about "Sons of"? That's one of the best expressions of war-skepticism in music. *Sigh*
(sorry for interrupting the toilet theme. we now return to our regularly scheduled programming...)

Betsy:

Another great one. They are all great. Brel's lyrics and Dave's writings are both in the same category -- they are both geniuses with words. Well, he was and Dave is. You have excellent taste in music and humor columnists.

"Have you ever heard the song "Turning Japanese" by Oingo Boingo? It would be perfect for this."

Being a big '80s fan, I must correct this...
"Turning Japanese" is by The Vapors, not Oingo Boingo. It's on their New Clear Days album, which is great by the way. Turning Japanese isn't even the best song on it.

Maybe "Weird Science" by Oingo Boingo would be appropriate for this tech toilet, though.

Great Scott, I didn't know "Seasons in the Sun" was by Brel either. I wonder if he ever heard the version I grew up with as a kid:

We had joy, we had fun
We went streakin' in the sun
But the cops had a gun
And they shot us in the buns.

Dr Alice - nice turn of tune!
I hope you don't mind, but I tripped over to your blog for a little looksee. Here is part of what I found:

'V.'s favorite nickname for me is "Leather Girl," but we'll go into that some other time.'

The reason I bring this up Doctor, is that I checked my schedule and can't find "...some other time." That being so, could we go into that now?

FYI A "bar" is a metric unit of pressure, like psi. 180 bar is equal to about 2600 psi. But who needs a 2600 psi pressure washer built into a toilet?

A band called Black Box Recorder does a version of "Seasons in the Sun" that is actually pretty cool. It's sung in a whisper, has a darker tone to it, and only does the "We had joy, we had fun" part once at the very end. I discovered it a few years ago and think it's a keeper.

Hey Stupendous,

Glad you liked it. My friend V. calls me "Leather Girl" simply because of my proclivity for working extra shifts and call nights (for financial reasons, not because I like to suffer). I wish it were more exciting than that...

Herb...Back atcha! And I'm sure M. Brel would appreciate M. Dave, too!

I see I wasn't here when the doctor (Dr Alice) was in. But her explanation of the "Leather Girl" sobriquet was very unsatisfying.

*returns from shopping trip n post office*

SM, i snail-mailed you a kit containing restraints, a paddle, some special ungents, n a feather.
i tried to send Dr. A, but, she was highly uncooperative*. hope you can capture find a willing subject.

*i ran out of duct tape n she ran away

cyn - It may have been sent by snail mail, but the Pony Express arrived today with my kit. TNX. I have two rolls of Duct Tape(TM). Are you busy:?)

*starts car, aims for fla*
gimme a minute!

Hurry, cyn! I'd hate to hafta start without 'cha!

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