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February 17, 2006

SOMETIMES, WE LOOK AT A STORY AND WE THINK: "WE MUST HAVE MADE THAT UP!"

And yet we did not.

(Thanks to Justin Barber)

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Porn in Fukuoka? NO!

Well, the package WAS marked "FUKUOKA - Instructional video" so his mistake is understandable.

I thought you weren't supposed to do that while driving...

two thoughts

Where's Jack Bauer when you need him?
and
"Beam me up, Scotty!"

Wonder if the film showed the proper & improper use of, um, oh never mind.

Apparently the FAA's instructional videos for how to joing the Mile-High club were shipped to the wrong address.

"But officer, it was in my training video."

Wonder if the instructor advised people to "Keep it between the ditches."

Due to a shortage of original videos, officials dubbed some of them.

So some official recorded traffic rules over his p0rn? This is either really dedicated or really careless. Do they know 'D'oh!' in Fukuoka?

I'll bet they get a lot more license renewals in the next few days.

Well I guess it all depends on what they are teaching them to drive.

Peri stole my thunder... what a waste of a good nudie flick.

FUK U OK Anytime????

where the fukoka is this place?

*snork* @ Eleanor - and I'll take ya up on that offer whenever you're in town.

Man. All we got to watch in driver's ed was footage of car crashes due to drunk driving, narrated by melodramatic men telling us that, statistically, we are more likely to die in a car accident than from concealed spiders in our morning bananas and hunting trips with the vice president combined.

*snork* @ Bumble!

(belated congrats on your exam, B!)

" Next, firmly grip the gear shifter and release the clutch."

"Due to a shortage of original videos, officials dubbed some of them."

Not to be un-funny or anything... but isn't it illegal to copy videos? If you don't have enough, doesn't the video company want you to buy more instead of copying the ones you have?

Now... what sort of punishment would be appropriate for BMV officials?

"So that's what it means to have a healthy 'sex drive.'

I am sure that this is the best batch of drivers they ever turn out. No one has ever paid so much attention to an instructional video I'm sure.

Brainy~ *snicker*

southerngirl~ Thanks.

Damn. Flunked. Can I see that video again?

*makes note re CoastRaven's offer*

makes 'three-way' and 'four-way' intersections more interesting...

Bumble - I remember "Red Asphalt" in drivers ed classes... although in the context of this post, "Red Ass-Fault" might be a more appropriate movie title.

Mr. C~ The one that sticks out most in my memory (though I don't remember the title :-) is one where they said auto accidents from drunk driving occurred every so many seconds (don't remember the exact number either) then proceeded to take us through all the drunk driving accidents that occurred in one day in our country one by one. Unless the video crew has a transporter, I think they did some creative editing, because they somehow managed to get from California to Washington DC in less than one hour. OMG! They must have broken speed limit laws! One thing I do remember from Driver's Ed is that we're not supposed to do that. I also remember our VP confiscating the three-foot rope noose the teacher had hanging from the blackboard during class. Didn't take his bamboo cane though. He was always threatening to cane us, not hang us. Ah, memories.

Bumble - Last night, I had the scary realization that Gerald Ford was President when I graduated high school.

Not that that has anything to do with anything... but I remember that OUR Drivers Ed teacher had a noose too, and wasn't made to remove it. Oh, and he USED his cane.

Funny story: My wife's best friend from high school is a lousy driver. I mean BAD. This is true - her drivers ed teacher had a nervous breakdown when he was done with her class.

This would be funny in any country except Japan. Your driver's license is not like the one's elsewhere. In Japan, you earn a professional license with all the liabilities that entails (i.e., if you hit something or someone for any reason regardless of what anyone else did or did not do, you are immediately at fault because "as a professional driver, you intended to do that." So, if you and your honey are in the car near lovers lane, you can't use the line that you didn't know you were out of gas.

On a lighter note, you can't even buy a car in Tokyo unless you have 1) the money for it, 2) a license to drive it, and 3) a place to park it. You have to show proof of a parking spot at time of purchase.

Rusty - then why are they such crappy drivers over here?

Mr.C~ Funny story. Well, I think it's freaking hilarious. The other kid didn't think it was too funny. Anyway, when we were doing the actual driving part of driver's ed, our teacher always told us never to offer advice when other students were at the wheel; he was the teacher, we were to keep our mouths shut. (I did keep my mouth shut; I snuck Dave Barry books into the car and read them when I wasn't driving. Until it gave me a headache. Anyway...) So this one day, I'm driving, and one of the other kids goes, "Mr. Jones, isn't she a little close to those parked cars?" Mr. Jones replied, "Joe, shut up and let me do the teaching." So the next day, Joe's driving, and I'm reading in the back seat. Joe comes within an inch of side-swiping a parked car. Then Mr. Jones says, "Joe, pull over and let Bumble drive. I can't take this." Gotta love it when people get what they deserve. *snicker*

ok, time for a farm story - I learned to drive on an IH tractor. My dad said it was the only thing I couldn't break. I was thirteen. It had a double-clutch and a very full load of hay on its trailer. Did I mention that my mom was stacking hay on the trailer as I drove, so if I popped the clutch I would knock her off the back? I was so little that I could stand on the clutch and it wouldn't engage, so I had to grab the steering wheel, push down hard on the clutch, then shift. But I'm fine, really. Thanks for asking.

Racist Ba*tard:
They're Caucasian extras on their way to the studio, made up to look like Japanese. You've seen those movies, haven't you?

another true story - while living in germany (motto - we are crazier than SoFla drivers AND we drive faster), I once caught my two sons riding their bikes across the road at a marked crossing without checking for traffic first. when I chewed them out for it, my son replied, "but mom, it's illegal for cars to hit us over here." oh look, something .... -SPLAT

In our small Montana town we had a lover's lane that we called "signal hill." It was high above town, out in the country a bit, and had a very steep drop in the front. More than one car wound up at the bottom of that hill because somebody's foot or knee or whatever pushed on the clutch and somebody else forgot to set the emergency brake. I am not making this up.

No, did not happen to me personally. The guys I dated were all bright enough to know what an emergency brake is for. Probably learned it in the driving class.

Was the name of the porn video Bend Over and I'll Drive You Home"? Heeeyy, I was just askin'!

tsk, tsk, tsk, StupeMan...

You're welcome.

A hem ...

Fukuoka ...

Fuk UO K? aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Merely sayin' ...

Annie --

Your tractor driving experiences sound similar to mine, when I was learning to drive a '29 Model A truck ... I'd hold on to the steering wheel and stand up on the clutch pedal ... more than once, the steering wheel popped off and hit me in the face/chest/wherever ...

ISIANMTU!

TNX, El! My italicizer needs it's head spacing checked. BTW, I have never said you were old. And I'm not gonna say it now. So, you can stop watching me.

Some of the ladies thought it was a video on how to drive a stick shift.

Another nice, slow Sunday driver at the wheel of fortune.


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