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February 20, 2006
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Sounds like a great tourist destination - Fungi Farms of Bais City
Posted by: MOTW | February 20, 2006 at 10:55 AM
I didn't see that coming..No kidding.
Posted by: Sean | February 20, 2006 at 10:57 AM
... um ... yeah, MOTW ... whut you said ...
Posted by: U.O | February 20, 2006 at 10:58 AM
I never herd of such a thing in my life.
Posted by: Blue Meanie | February 20, 2006 at 11:00 AM
Oy!
*snork* @ Blue
Posted by: daisymae | February 20, 2006 at 11:05 AM
Elumba said the success of the province's artificial goat insemination program would depend on the technicians.
Ocampo noted that the country has more than 3,000 artificial insemination experts but only 300 are active.
Nothing like trying to perform under pressure...
Posted by: kibby F5™ | February 20, 2006 at 11:05 AM
OK, I see that the agency will provide the farmers with the high-test goat semen, so they don't have to go and ummmmmm..... you know....... "obtain" it themselves, but what I am curious about is who DOES ummmmmm..... you know....... "obtain" it from the male goat, and if that is something one would put on one's resume? I'd think the Vice Squad would be an occupational hazard too... "But officer, this is my JOB! I'm getting paid to.... uh oh... this is gonna look real bad in the newspaper...")
Posted by: Mad Soapboxer | February 20, 2006 at 11:05 AM
"...continues to lack few takers" --you're making that up.
Posted by: marina_like_a_boatdock | February 20, 2006 at 11:08 AM
Sure puts Goats Head cheese in a new light. Mad - maybe in some perverse indirect (hopefully) was that answers your question too! eeewwwww(e)
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 20, 2006 at 11:08 AM
I think that anyone working as an artificial insemination technician would make an excellent candidate for congress. Or maybe even the presidency.
Posted by: Schadeboy | February 20, 2006 at 11:09 AM
Alright! My first Oy! Hard work does pay off.
Posted by: Blue Meanie | February 20, 2006 at 11:12 AM
Goatherder: We don't need no stinkin' artificial insemination! I can inseminate my goats just fine, thank you.
Get out!
Posted by: Eleanor | February 20, 2006 at 11:12 AM
You know, if those technicians wore something a little more "alluring" more goats might be take them up on the offer.
"It's probably something a good pair of chaps would solve." the Deputy Director was over-heard saying.
Posted by: kibby F5™ | February 20, 2006 at 11:17 AM
Who would want to inseminate artificial goats??
Posted by: john | February 20, 2006 at 11:18 AM
"Artificial goat insemination's not so BAAAAAAAAAD"
Posted by: Punkin Poo | February 20, 2006 at 11:24 AM
john: desparate male goats, of course.
a hiaku:
sun hot, flies annoy
fragrantly, the work goes on
another damn goat
another:
sweaty rubber gloves
I am not paid near enough
hi ho, hi ho, baah.
one more:
yet things could be worse
I could be collecting sperm
at yonder manilow farm
Posted by: mudstuffin | February 20, 2006 at 11:25 AM
One of the funniest things I ever read that was not written by Dave is a passage in one of the All Things Great and Small series, James Harriott (sp?)--sorry I don't remember which one, but I think the second, where they (a couple of vets) try to "milk" a bull using an artifical cow vagina. They figure cold water would not be good, so they used BOILING water.
Posted by: Hanna | February 20, 2006 at 11:29 AM
Elumba said the success of the province's artificial goat insemination program would depend on the technicians.
See, it's not the SIZE of the turkey baster, guys: it's what you DO with it.
Posted by: Betsy | February 20, 2006 at 11:38 AM
hm... at first glance you'd think farming in the philippines such a simple and humble life.
then technology rears it's ugly head.
yikes.
Posted by: andiewade | February 20, 2006 at 11:48 AM
I thought this sounded slightlyfamiliar and mudstuffin got the first comment.
Posted by: MOTW | February 20, 2006 at 11:57 AM
Perhaps if the technicians tried a little foreplay...
Posted by: Kilmeny | February 20, 2006 at 11:58 AM
Pete Ocampo, Agriculture Department Regional Office Livestock Development Division Director
LESSON: If you ever get a job with an 8-word title, assume goat insemination is part it.
TIP: The length of your title is inversely proportional to your power.
Posted by: nateislate | February 20, 2006 at 12:02 PM
Sheesh!
What a thread! Horses impregnating artificial goats ... proper (?) washing and cleaning of special equipment ... wowser ...
Whut I found interestin' tho, wuz the "fact" that 90 percent of the "experts" in the Phillipines are "not practicing" their trade ...
So ... I'm wonderin' if it's job burnout, or the stress of day-to-day chores that puts them into "retirement" ...
Posted by: U.O | February 20, 2006 at 12:03 PM
Well of course the small farmers aren't interested. They can handle that themselves. It's the TALL guys that need help.
Posted by: Annie Where-but-here | February 20, 2006 at 12:04 PM
"Elumba said the success of the province's artificial goat insemination program would depend on the technicians."
The technicians blame the goats.
Posted by: nateislate | February 20, 2006 at 12:04 PM
"Ocampo noted that the country has more than 3,000 artificial insemination experts but only 300 are active."
Men lie about these things, so the real number has to be closer to 100.
Posted by: nateislate | February 20, 2006 at 12:06 PM
MOTW, the key phrase in your linked info is "**CAUTION SOME HORSES OBJECT TO THIS PROCEDURE**", which I would think might be similarly encountered with goats. "Technicians" with cold hands would seem to be more at risk of injury.
Coast, is "perverse" the same as "perverted"?
Inquiring (but not very smart) minds have decided that they don't REALLY want to know this much about assisted goat hanky-panky. I'm thinking more along the lines of a nice goat roast.
Posted by: Mad Soapboxer | February 20, 2006 at 12:35 PM
Mad - according to American Heritage Dictionary, yes
Perverse -
ADJECTIVE:
1) Directed away from what is right or good; perverted.
Although it should have read "...in some perverse, indirect waY..."
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 20, 2006 at 12:44 PM
"High on a hill stood a lonely goatherd......"
Posted by: slyeyes | February 20, 2006 at 12:44 PM
The sheeps lie!
Posted by: kibby F5™ | February 20, 2006 at 12:48 PM
The process of artificial goat insemination can not be over emphasized, when trying to produce gigers (male goat, female tiger) or toats (male tiger female goat).
The plain fact is that live insemination generally results in the tiger simply eating the goat, often without first impregnating it.
Posted by: Christobol | February 20, 2006 at 12:48 PM
CBol- Yeah, But what do you feed the Toat?
I remember this little phillipino lady who was showing me all of these maps of her country. She pointed at one part and said " This is vewry beautiful. It has lots of good prices for tourists."
"Why is that."
"Pirates kindap tourists. But they would make an exception for you."
Man goats need a online dating service.
Posted by: Alfred | February 20, 2006 at 01:01 PM
Alfred - it seems to me that a toat (or giger for that matter) could eat itself... (insert stay at home joke here).
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 20, 2006 at 01:03 PM
This must be how the guys on Brokeback Mountain got into trouble...NTTAWWT.
Posted by: daisymae | February 20, 2006 at 01:08 PM
OK, why would a toat eat itself? Because it can
Posted by: TCK | February 20, 2006 at 01:14 PM
Maybe that's what these college boys were trying to do:
http://www.wkuherald.com
Posted by: angel | February 20, 2006 at 02:00 PM
I have the perfect solution for the slow response to that country's goat artificial insemination program. Place some ads in Arkansas. You're welcome.
(Home of "Goatback Mountain")
Posted by: maimzini | February 20, 2006 at 02:06 PM
Hey, did anyone else notice this ad in the middle of the article?
"My Labster Chit-Chat". Post your Valentine greetings and stories here.
Would these be goat to goat Valentines or technician to goat valentines or what?
Posted by: Morgana | February 20, 2006 at 02:12 PM
Thanks, Coast... "perverted" I understand, having been hanging around this blog for a while now, but I hadn't seen this gang called "perverse" previously. Anyway, there (not their) aren't that many of us here who know big words like that.... [*ducking for cover*]
Posted by: Mad Soapboxer | February 20, 2006 at 02:32 PM
Yup - what it all boils down to is - perverse is simply a perversion of perverted... or vice versa
Posted by: CoastRaven | February 20, 2006 at 02:46 PM
OK, am I the only one who sees this phrase in the article:
The provincial veterinary office and the Association of Artificial Insemination Practitioners in Oriental Negros ended at the weekend a week-long goat insemination workshop for government and private technicians from the Fungi Farms of Bais City, the Hermie Rona Farms of Dumageute City, and the Odon Quico Farms of Abis in Mabinay.
And what about this:
The program was introduced to the farmers to improve the breeding of livestock like goats, cattle, and carabaos decades ago.
What the hell are carabaos?
And what about the other ads - Mt. Capra Goat Whey? Meet Goats Online?!!
Oh, sorry. That last one was Meat Goats For Sale. Although it still wouldn't surprise me if that one has something to do with online goat dating.
Posted by: qetzal | February 20, 2006 at 08:30 PM
qetzal - carabao are water buffalo, which reminds me that about a week ago, I sent The Blog two stories about a herd of water buffalo believed to be stolen from their pen somewhere in the UK. Law enforcement had warned residents of the area...IANMTU...not to approach these water buffalo from behind, because they spray their dung up to 20 feet! That news, if true, would be sure to cut into the numbers of active carabao artificial inseminators.
Sadly, those stories flew right thru blog HQ without making it into thread-dom. *sigh*
Posted by: Stupendous Man | February 20, 2006 at 09:09 PM
I taught saxophone lessons to a girl who was majoring in animal husbandry (insert your own joke here) and she actually had to obtain an artificial insemination permit...which made sense, when she told me what she had to do to the horse to get the "goods."
Oh, and would the person in charge of keeping up with the quantities of male goat/female tiger offspring be called a Giger counter? *rim shot*
Posted by: Kev | February 20, 2006 at 10:54 PM
*snork* at slyeyes!
Posted by: Lisa Bisa Fo Fisa | February 21, 2006 at 09:53 PM
this in not comment sir/madam
I would like to suggest that there is U tube in artificial insemination in large ruminant.
thank you
Posted by: Clay C. Gamboa | July 08, 2008 at 05:30 AM